Contender Match: Jayson Fresh (3-1) vs Barcotic (3-1) - Barcotic WINS

[Cred]

NBL Season 10
Week 6

Due FRIDAY 12/30/16

Minimum - 12 lines
Max - 20 lines

- NO BITING
- NO FEEDING
- NO SWAYING
- AGREE ON LINE LIMIT
- IF NOT AGREED, MUST MATCH 1st VERSE


Don't edit after your opponent has posted.
2nd person to post can't edit after the 1st vote comes in.
Don't be an idiot.
Don't use your opponent's pic unless it's a pic battle.
May God have mercy on your souls!

[Barcotic]

im game
early 16?

[Jayson Fresh]

yes of course.

[Cred]

Jayson Fresh's Verse






Look.

Showcased in mag spotlight when I drop you
yur verse under spotlight too tracked by overhead chopper in hot pursuit
this kids so whack if i lose no really swear this'll end my world
curl up n turn to a wet blanket I mustve spilled coffee after breakfast in bed with yur girl
act hard naah u'sa pussy hoping for escape
smacked so hard palm readers predict u shook nigga Its written all over your face
but fresh brought the heeaat today no doubt every verse ignites a cypher
u couldn't even form a sentence thats flames pleading guilty to a trial by fire
aiyo I get mad respect no doubt Im soaring above him
If u deserve a pat on da back its reported to HR for inappropriate touchin'
muthafakin quit already u shoulda retired. Pay ur dues and furl..
a career so draaaawn out its the final villain speech right b4 da hero rescues the girl.
But I hope u prepared well.. trained hard.. to freshen those punchlines..
We saw how you blew against Aero and still u bring a poisonous dart to a gun fight?
Yu garbage – no second chance.. naa you don’t get a do-over..
concepts so awkward and forced its ona movie date doing the yawn & drop arm maneuver.

[Cred]

Barcotic's Verse






last week u got no showed
wk before u got no showed

tf?

ur a contender without wins of importance why?
last time we saw Jayson suit up..
.. he wore red outfits when it's morphin' time
this battle's over. ur claim to fame is moot
when it comes to Jay/me, Oliver viewers will say I ate his food
ransack 'em, fuck his tramp after n work both macks
fire at this square while I slam, that's an inferno match
u BIN broke cuz of ur bimbo, fraud whore
that beast eats thru ya green quicker than a Flintstones lawnmower
scrappin Bar, u haven't sparred enough to win
this is a Chinese drug raid; I'll pass ur guard and bust ur chin
or shoot thru ya crib w/ a mean black slaughter cannon
u outta luck w/ a red dot behind ur screen, that's water damage
if u think anything's a front, ur failing in assumption
get lifted off ur feet when the beam hits u, no alien abduction
yes punk, best run when I headhunt ur deformities
unlock ur full potential?
u'll be lucky if ur body ends up in the Florida Keys

16

[Schadenfreude]

Jayson Fresh's Verse
act hard naah u'sa pussy hoping for escape
smacked so hard palm readers predict u shook nigga Its written all over your face
aiyo I get mad respect no doubt Im soaring above him
If u deserve a pat on da back its reported to HR for inappropriate touchin'
But I hope u prepared well.. trained hard.. to freshen those punchlines..
We saw how you blew against Aero and still u bring a poisonous dart to a gun fight?

Jay u had nice concepts, but your wording/execution is fucking up yo punches. The opener did no damage, 'wet blanket' was potentially crazy, had the wording been smooth & wtf does furl mean? Anyway decent drop, just get that wording across better.

versus

Barcotic's Verse
ur a contender without wins of importance why?
last time we saw Jayson suit up..
.. he wore a red outfit when it's morphin' time
this battle's over. ur claim to fame is moot
when it comes to Jay/me, Oliver viewers will say I ate his food
u BIN broke cuz of ur bimbo, fraud whore
that beast eats thru ya green quicker than a Flintstones lawnmower
if u think anything's a front, ur failing in assumption
get lifted off ur feet when the beam hits u, no alien abduction

Almost didn't quote Jaime Oliver, but it did hit, even tho it's corny & moot/food don't rhyme. Inferno match could've been crazy w/ better wording. Fraud whore/lawnmower rhymes, but the overall bar was choppy phonetically & 'bust your chin' wack. The other two bars were just misses.

BARCOTIC edges, Jay just didn't bring his punches across well, while Barc was somewhat corny overall, but the punches that landed, hit heavy.

[Suthaveli]

J.fresh- i luv your steez, the wordin on your lines throw me off tho. & It's likely because you maybe from another country. I remember when sn00p first started here, he had the same issue for a min. If you can get that down pack, you can def be dangerous competition. The palm reader bar & aero shot were gd. But if not for wrdng, i could see your whole verse being quoted.

Barcotic hand the chin line which i though was dope & the beam line which was nice. Your misses this week were more than normal. Prolly due to hw fast you're posting. It's like some lines just missed bad. The opener being one. Others just didn't hit too well. Hmm

This is hard to vote on tbh. I'll read again tomorrow or something to insert my vote.

Edit- very hard to vote on but im going to give @Jayson Fresh the edge. He had creativity & his lines were a few words adjustments from being really dope. Barc had the alien line & i like the chin line but the rest didn't rly come off as full fledge hits imo. This was a difficult vote for me.

[Otty]

Jay- palm readers, drawn out, gun fight, closer

Bar - opener, flinstones lawnmower, alien abduction

V jay

[Unfukwitable]

aiyo I get mad respect no doubt Im soaring above him
If u deserve a pat on da back its reported to HR for inappropriate touchin'
But I hope u prepared well.. trained hard.. to freshen those punchlines..
We saw how you blew against Aero and still u bring a poisonous dart to a gun fight?

vs

this battle's over. ur claim to fame is moot
when it comes to Jay/me, Oliver viewers will say I ate his food
ransack 'em, fuck his tramp after n work both macks
fire at this square while I slam, that's an inferno match
u BIN broke cuz of ur bimbo, fraud whore
that beast eats thru ya green quicker than a Flintstones lawnmower
or shoot thru ya crib w/ a mean black slaughter cannon
u outta luck w/ a red dot behind ur screen, that's water damage

this was a good read here, one had some dope ideas but I feel like his wording oversaturated the thoughts he had, maybe some cleaner set ups or doper execution with the same ideas he couldve pulled this battle in his favor. but the came with a consistent verse and some heat I thought the flintsone lawnmower idea was crack and so was the inferno match bar, props to both. v/Barc

[Aero]

JF:

Showcased in mag spotlight when I drop you
yur verse under spotlight too tracked by overhead chopper in hot pursuit
lol I like the idea but no
this kids so whack if i lose no really swear this'll end my world
curl up n turn to a wet blanket I mustve spilled coffee after breakfast in bed with yur girl
lol nahhh needs to hit
act hard naah u'sa pussy hoping for escape
smacked so hard palm readers predict u shook nigga Its written all over your face
dope concept, cool execution
but fresh brought the heeaat today no doubt every verse ignites a cypher
u couldn't even form a sentence thats flames pleading guilty to a trial by fire
used the idiom trial by fire in an akward way here
aiyo I get mad respect no doubt Im soaring above him
If u deserve a pat on da back its reported to HR for inappropriate touchin'
nah man
muthafakin quit already u shoulda retired. Pay ur dues and furl..
a career so draaaawn out its the final villain speech right b4 da hero rescues the girl.
lol ok
But I hope u prepared well.. trained hard.. to freshen those punchlines..
We saw how you blew against Aero and still u bring a poisonous dart to a gun fight?
sick
Yu garbage – no second chance.. naa you don’t get a do-over..
concepts so awkward and forced its ona movie date doing the yawn & drop arm maneuver
lol aight but could've been done differently


Entertaining verse just better execution. Keep it up





Barc:

ur a contender without wins of importance why?
last time we saw Jayson suit up..
.. he wore red outfits when it's morphin' time
aiiight
this battle's over. ur claim to fame is moot
when it comes to Jay/me, Oliver viewers will say I ate his food
creative, but no sting
ransack 'em, fuck his tramp after n work both macks
fire at this square while I slam, that's an inferno match
lol you tried to make this work and it did but no sting
u BIN broke cuz of ur bimbo, fraud whore
that beast eats thru ya green quicker than a Flintstones lawnmower
sticking with the green concepts I see lol,, good
scrappin Bar, u haven't sparred enough to win
this is a Chinese drug raid; I'll pass ur guard and bust ur chin
no... a Chinese chin ref?
or shoot thru ya crib w/ a mean black slaughter cannon
u outta luck w/ a red dot behind ur screen, that's water damage
nice
if u think anything's a front, ur failing in assumption
get lifted off ur feet when the beam hits u, no alien abduction
cool. Shouldve been used by now though
yes punk, best run when I headhunt ur deformities
unlock ur full potential?
u'll be lucky if ur body ends up in the Florida Keys
are you trolling me right now?


Overall some cool lines but that last one is unforgivable. You're going to keep giving us one terrible bar per battle? that's your schtick


Battle too close to call I'll have to do a point breadown.


JF - 17
Bar - 18.69


v/ Barcotic

[Hush]

Originally Posted by Cred

Jayson Fresh's Verse






Look.

Showcased in mag spotlight when I drop you
yur verse under spotlight too tracked by overhead chopper in hot pursuit
--nah
this kids so whack if i lose no really swear this'll end my world
curl up n turn to a wet blanket I mustve spilled coffee after breakfast in bed with yur girl
--kinda cool
act hard naah u'sa pussy hoping for escape
smacked so hard palm readers predict u shook nigga Its written all over your face
--ehh
but fresh brought the heeaat today no doubt every verse ignites a cypher
u couldn't even form a sentence thats flames pleading guilty to a trial by fire
--ehh
aiyo I get mad respect no doubt Im soaring above him
If u deserve a pat on da back its reported to HR for inappropriate touching
--lol
muthafakin quit already u shoulda retired. Pay ur dues and furl..
a career so draaaawn out its the final villain speech right b4 da hero rescues the girl.
--no
But I hope u prepared well.. trained hard.. to freshen those punchlines..
We saw how you blew against Aero and still u bring a poisonous dart to a gun fight?
--no
Yu garbage – no second chance.. naa you don’t get a do-over..
concepts so awkward and forced its ona movie date doing the yawn & drop arm maneuver
--eh

.

Creative concepts . Draw out wording

Originally Posted by Cred

Barcotic's Verse






last week u got no showed
wk before u got no showed

tf?

ur a contender without wins of importance why?
last time we saw Jayson suit up..
.. he wore red outfits when it's morphin' time
--eh
this battle's over. ur claim to fame is moot
when it comes to Jay/me, Oliver viewers will say I ate his food
--nope
ransack 'em, fuck his tramp after n work both macks
fire at this square while I slam, that's an inferno match
--ok
u BIN broke cuz of ur bimbo, fraud whore
that beast eats thru ya green quicker than a Flintstones lawnmower
--eh
scrappin Bar, u haven't sparred enough to win
this is a Chinese drug raid; I'll pass ur guard and bust ur chin
--no
or shoot thru ya crib w/ a mean black slaughter cannon
u outta luck w/ a red dot behind ur screen, that's water damage
--what does this mean
if u think anything's a front, ur failing in assumption
get lifted off ur feet when the beam hits u, no alien abduction
--no
yes punk, best run when I headhunt ur deformities
unlock ur full potential?
u'll be lucky if ur body ends up in the Florida Keys
--no

16

Old ideas and bad wording hurt this verse


Vote - fresh

[Destroyer]

Holy shit a hush sighting!

[Saint]

pat on the back, aero dart

opener, fire square were coo
overall better wording, less air balls

vote barcotic

[Cred]

4-3 Barcotic.

[Razah]

smacked so hard palm readers predict u shook nigga Its written all over your face

concepts so awkward and forced its ona movie date doing the yawn & drop arm maneuver.
----------------------------
last time we saw Jayson suit up..
.. he wore red outfits when it's morphin' time

get lifted off ur feet when the beam hits u, no alien abduction
---------------------------

I haven't read a battle in a long ass time. It's been yeaarrsss. Anyways, that's the shit that made me laugh & shit. I'm not a huge fan of these gun bars, even less when it's written, seems kinda dumb to be honest. Sometimes it just sounds good though, like if it was said in a real battle, that'd be like 'ahhh that was kinda cool' type of bar.

Jayson's wording really hurt him. I felt like it was kind of even as far as punchlines but, his wording was just bad for the most part. Barcotic's verse was smoother to read, thus making it sound better overall to me.

vBarcotic