float beyond

brokenhal0 · 05-12-2015, 04:47 AM

a simple sympathy charm sin simplicity song for a single simpleton
they set traps for me and try to let the missiles win but im like hulk
my aggression is bulk when the invisible dies
that's where light hides the most
ill find your ghost looking like barnacles on a boat
snakeheads float up your toilet and choke a good pit dog walks all borders low...

abyss and beyond she left me a rose and abandoned ship what did i miss
ghost ride the flesh its cause once i know mind then both minds the best
a rose spine is kept blessed hold lines at rest cause those gross signs
are glyphs hand to hands for buried treasure a current of currency that corrupts a hearts buoyancy calling demons of greed functionally like smoke in a hive of bumblebees no queen when your honey leaves...

the heart star mapped attractive patterns i have yet to measure
your sickest pleasure gets judged live and let love
but lay to rest the possession that crept up no handsoap im too damn gross for those damn bugs smear your antelope like cantaloupe pussy with seeds you to mushy for me and im not trippen the plot thickens the ends come together clocks spinning now im livin lovely no rotten visions ....

veritas · 05-12-2015, 08:57 AM

was not feeling this tbh, I have seen better from you. It seems like this was rhyming for rhymings sake and the contextual and conceptual integrity dissipated fair>?

no hate bro, stay at it.

Mr. J · 05-15-2015, 12:37 PM

I agree with V, I have seen better from you..
this is trying to be complex for the sake of being complex
on the bright side glad to see you come through
I'll be expecting more and some more raw next.
the first line was a decent tongue twister
keep writing there..young sister

brokenhal0 · 05-15-2015, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. J

the first line was a decent tongue twister
keep writing there..young sister

im warming up lol ...but but ....im a old brother!

05-12-2015, 04:47 AM	#1
brokenhal0 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 492 Battle Record: 12-12=4 Champed - AOWL Season IX Rep Power: 455117	float beyond a simple sympathy charm sin simplicity song for a single simpleton they set traps for me and try to let the missiles win but im like hulk my aggression is bulk when the invisible dies that's where light hides the most ill find your ghost looking like barnacles on a boat snakeheads float up your toilet and choke a good pit dog walks all borders low... abyss and beyond she left me a rose and abandoned ship what did i miss ghost ride the flesh its cause once i know mind then both minds the best a rose spine is kept blessed hold lines at rest cause those gross signs are glyphs hand to hands for buried treasure a current of currency that corrupts a hearts buoyancy calling demons of greed functionally like smoke in a hive of bumblebees no queen when your honey leaves... the heart star mapped attractive patterns i have yet to measure your sickest pleasure gets judged live and let love but lay to rest the possession that crept up no handsoap im too damn gross for those damn bugs smear your antelope like cantaloupe pussy with seeds you to mushy for me and im not trippen the plot thickens the ends come together clocks spinning now im livin lovely no rotten visions .... Last edited by brokenhal0; 05-27-2015 at 12:44 PM.

05-15-2015, 12:37 PM	#3
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,023 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	I agree with V, I have seen better from you.. this is trying to be complex for the sake of being complex on the bright side glad to see you come through I'll be expecting more and some more raw next. the first line was a decent tongue twister keep writing there..young sister __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you