ayo...so....went out the other nite....

[Ghost1]

To a friends wedding reception. Classy place. Cook ur fillet wit the center cold type of establishment. I brushed my beard. Adjusted my hair with my hands. Donned a red patterned neck tie with a blue striped shirt, french cuff with spread collar, half windsor knot. YES HELLO PARTY OF ONE HERE FOR MY HOMIES WEDDING SHIT WHERE IM SITTIN AT U OLD BITCH, DONT U SEE THAT LOOK OF BEWILDERMENT IN MY EYES? SHOW ME TO MY SEAT BETTY WHITE U OLE CRYPT KEEPER JACKET LADY. trynna steal my jacket...NO THANK YOU I WILL NOT BE NEEDING COAT CHECK....U SINISTER GYPSY. what will u have to drink, sir? Bitch.....if u dont let me sitdown an get situated i will drink the blood out of ur throat.....give me sum space....ill notify u when i need ur assistance fuckin carnival slave. So.....im eatin these lamb chops off the bone an my boys wifes faggot ass brother had the nerve to start givin a speech!?!? HEY PIPE DOWN LARRY SCHMUCK FACE IMTRYNNA ENJOY THIS LAMB LIKE AN ADULT AND UR UP HERE WITH UR FACE ALL OPEN INFECTING MY EARS .....then the gotdamn gypsy coat sneak....sir? What can i get u to drink....? IVE HAD 7 LAGERS SO FAR.... ILL GIVE U A FUCKING GUESS....ONE MOTHER FUCKING GUESS U STUPID BITCH CUNT. DO NOT FUCKING UPSET ME. so the night was going really well. My boy told me i should go holler at his cousins nieces....whoever the fuck....cuz i guess she likes to fuck..... so i stroll over there with the rest of the champaign bottle they used for the toast.....her mom has been at her side all nite.....bitch .....dont u have a job or somethin. No matter....my beard is glistening off the chandeliers ....my tie clip caught a glimmer of a stray light reflected off my watch and i lit my cigarette with it. Her mothers pussy immediately exploded upon witnessing my sheer debonair unfortunately killing them both. No matter. I dont love these hoes. So.....we r headed to the limo to head to a few bars downtown.....mind u....at this stage i am about 10beers deep.....ok....now....everyone is high on cocaine.....i am not. I am an adult. But.... everyone else is high on cocaine. Enter party patty. Party patty is my boys wifes brothers wife.....u follow? They call her party patty because she drinks vodka, snorts mammoth sized rails of blow and puts dicks into her mouth. She also apparently knows the city really well......except.....she doesnt.....cuz shes a woman....with a small stupid woman brain filled with jiz, blunt smoke and coke. So... she tells the limo driver how to get the bar we wanted to go to.....except....she doesnt.....cuz we get lost amd end up on the hill. The hill is a small portion of the projects where black people have become urban pirates. GET THE FUCK OIT OF MY WAY PARTY PATTY U STUPID HOOKER....UH HELLO LIMO DRIVER .... DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THERES ANY BARS WE WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND IN A 10MILE RADIUS.....UHH.....DOES THIS LOOK WE ARE HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION?!?! R U FUCKING NEW? THE LAST TIME A LIMO WAS ON THIS SIDE OF TOWN IT HAD A BODY IN THE TRUNK U FUCKIN IDIOT. ...... the closest bar we could get to in reasonable timing after that debacle was stallions..the bar tenders at stallions dont wear shirts....they have on pantyhose and id imagine if a strong gust of wind blew by their assholes would whistle. So.......my buddies in the bathroom gettin skiied out of his skull....an stumbles by me an says.....are u uncut....? ....im like.......no? ....but wait...... are u lookin at my dick son? BRO. R U ..... R WE.....AT THE GAY BAR.....AN U ARE LOOKIN AT MY DICK....IN THE BATHROOM? FOR WHY? THERES A GUY NAMED JASON OVER THEIR WITH A BLOMD WIG AND A MUSTACHE.....AND U THOUGHT NOW WOULD BE THE APPROPRIATE TIME TO ANALAYZE THE PROS AMD CONS OF MY GEAR? ...... now....guys.....i dont condone this type of behavior....nor will i try to rationalize...i am just here to detail the facts. Regretably my natural instinct was.....WELL THEN LET ME SEE UR DICK SHITHEAD.....ITS ONLY FAIR. Im teetering on the edge of blacking out at this point but at the time i thought....damn right! He owes it to u....he saw urs! ........ in retrospect i brought many shame to my family. So.....i am harassing him at this point to show me his dick at this gay bar bathroom filled with gay men surrounded by mirrors.....which also seems really questionable in retrospect......it was like a camera shoot layout for a bukake session....ne how. Finally he says...THERE ARE U FUCKING HAPPY NOW!?!? as he whips his hideous pecker out......instantly i thought to myself.....no. no i am not. Then i hear some faggot in the background say....OK NOW LETS SEE YOURS.....i lose my shit. My boy said i wasnt even using real words.....he uncoded the word faggit and aids he said.....but not much else. So.... i was asked to leave....by way of brooklyn bar toss out the side alleyway door compliments of jamal and jimmy joe. I wake up in my friends living room .....laying under the couch cusions....i hear sum1 walk by.....never seen this guy before....ay bruh....can i get a ride ti my whip? He says....yea.....ill let u kno.....then goes in the kitchen and i hear him breakin out lines......then....the lines were snorted....then....he says...OK LETS GO....WE GOTTA HURRY THO IM.GONNA RUN OUT OF GAS .....he flys down the pike.....then he sees sum1 he knows and speeds right up their ass and slams on the emergency break skidding to a screaching hault right b4 hitting them....all while honking his horn and screaming fuck u niggers. Now......at this point.....i was a bit skeptical that perhaos i had made a poor choice in getting into this vehicle.....he looks at me an says.....MAN FUCK DID U STEAL SOME OF MY PILLS? WERE GONNA RUN OUT OF GAS? i laugh.....WHY R U LAUGHING?! .... he loses focus of me for a second as we r still tailing his friend.....they pull into the back of a mall....girl gets out of the car he screams....I KNEW IT WAS U BITCH!!!!!! then the guy rolls his window down.......the kid looks at the other driver an says.......oh......SORRY THOUGHT U WERE SUM1 ELSE... wtf!?!??!?! Thought u were sum1 else!?!? So.....this giant puerto rican guy now looks back at us like we spit into his mothers mouth at church. this dude peels out .....other dude follows.......then this kid starts reaching into his back seat and hands me a brick..... HERE THROW THIS BRICK AT THAT WETBACK SOON AS I SLAM ON THE BREAKS.......LOLOLOL WTF NO MAN....IM NOT THROWIN THIS BRICK AT THAT DUDE!?!? HE PROLLY THOUGHT U WERE TRYNNA KIDNAP HIS GIRLFRIEND AFTER U FOLLOWED HIM TO THE MALL HONKING UR HORN SCREAMING THE N WORD AT HIM THE WHOLE TIME!?!?!? .....so.....he runs a few redlights an loses this guy eventually.....we get to the gas station......he screams at the guy already at the pump....DIDNT U SEE ME WHEN U PULLED IN!?!?? U ALMOST WRECKED MY CAR U FUCKING ASSHOLE. This guy is confused now.....cuz he was there before us......and....we actually nearly hit him. But according to the charming gentleman who is driving me to my car.....it was vice versa..... after he screams at this poor guy and confuses him a bit more he goes inside pays the gas an comes back......the other guy is still there as we leave an my driver starts honking the horn and flipping him off......then he starts clapping his hands and smiling at this guy......i dont know why this happened. I get to my car.....he once more accuses me of stealing some of his pills.....i kindly thank him for the multiple near death experiences and head to my car.

Did make it past carnival slave LMAO

do you even paragraph bro? Jesus christ.

[Destroyer]

10/10
would fap again

[Certain]

I read it all.

Cliff's notes: Bags asked to see his friend's penis while they were at a gay bar.

[dead man]

LOL at i thought you were someone else. and the BRICK

lmao



fuck. you blacked out after the bar until morning?

[Ghost1]

Yea.....i think he said we tried one more bar an they flagged me at the door so we just went back ti his crib.....i remember getting into the limo.....then waking up....haha

[Allen Knight]

Lmaoooo kay slayedd at.this I.actually read it all

Read full story.

Story of the yr, you heard it here first.

[Neighbor]

Did you just watch American Psycho?

[Strikta]

lol

[veritas]

Drapes.

[Split]

so gone

[Ryan 12]

the fact u guys read all of this



u guys will literally suck bags dick and wipe his ass if he asked u





pathetic


suck, suck, suck, fagg0ts



btw @Bags


tl;dr fagg0t

[PancakeBrah]

Ripping yarn, ol chap.

[Ryan 12]

got him

[anime_boners]

is this worth the read?


edit: nvm. read it. worth it.


thx

[veritas]

yes. Bags is a drunk and a subhuman dirt person. He also has homosexual tendencies. Noting you didnt already know, but hey.

[Greed]

This story was gay.

Your narrating skills on point tho.

[Witty]

Didn't read yet.

Just want to say that ryan is the biggest goofball I have ever seen post online.

[...the Nagger]

10/10? no sir

I give this story a B- for the parts that were capped out