Week 3 - Pinot Grij v Pent uP - PG WINS

[zygote]

Challenge League contest page

Submissions are due WEDNESDAY at 23:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
Extensions are due THURSDAY at 23:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
You must vote on at least 3 other battles, for every absent vote, you will be deducted one vote next week.

Voting ends Sunday at 11:59 Pacific Daylight/Standard Time.
If you no-show, you will be removed from next week and have to sign back into the league.

WEEKLY MEMO : Greetings competitors, we move to the most open-ended challenge of the league. HYPOTHETICAL COLLABORATION WEEK, each contest will be provided with 1 hyperlink to an open mic page. You are required to write in response to your hyperlink. As compensation for the nature of the topics (and the cries of “the voters didn’t understand it!”) you have the option to include a concise explanation along with your submission this week. Find below your match-ups and specific tasks.

SPECIFIC WRITING TASK : (34 v 8) Pinot Grij v Pent uP. TASK: http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6914

[Pent uP]

An Honor

[Pinot Grij]

In


Votes:
http://www.netcees.co/showpost.php?p=114771&postcount=7
http://www.netcees.co/showpost.php?p=114980&postcount=4
http://www.netcees.co/showpost.php?p=116627&postcount=9

[Pinot Grij]

HipsterTittyFuck enters private chat @ 01:27:34 EST

oats enters private chat @ 01:28:04 EST


HipsterTittyFuck:
Sooooooooo… lol
This is my first time in a private room.. it’s not a lie, it’s TRUE!
I saw your profile and thought I’d like to try it with a guy like you
Our likes are so alike (lol xD) c’mon, we’re BOTH into demon lore
Norwegian swords, evil lords, Korean porn and Ouija boards
I’m a wee bit warped, I know, so just in case there's some doubt that’s felt
Allow me to tell you Oatsie (hehe) a little more about myself

HipsterTittyFuck:
I’m young and cute, 22, lookin' for casual rendez-vous’s
A southern beaut from a small town with nothing much to do
Luscious boobs, with butt to boot, extreeeeemely fuckable
Just waiting for a stud-muffin such as you to thunder through
I want you to bang me silly, my pussy’s yearning for sweaty sex
So tell me how you’ll tease and please me, cuz I’m not ready yet ;)

oats:
everything is relative, perspective is cluttered
cuz even after feasting you'll be destined to hunger
plus, my resumé will never say I'm better with numbers
so I'm hiding my intentions with each letter I cover

HipsterTittyFuck:
Ooooooh baby….
My panties are getting wet, you make me want to take them off
And I AM getting hungry, but I’m only feasting on your veiny cock
So don’t hide your intentions baby, we’re headed towards passion
And the only numbers that you’re countin’ are my multiple orgasms
Some hardcore action, there’s only one way to make me happy
That’s if you make is trashy, go ahead, spank and scratch me
Cuz there’s a storm a-brewin’ inside my tight little snatch
Forecast calls for thunder and lightning…
and there’s no signs it’ll pass ;)

oats:
whether it's thunder or another hidden part of the puzzle
it's an excuse to push on through, please pardon the struggle
do I contradict myself? very well, I'm too large to be subtle
so I'm drafting every shred like locking arms in a huddle

HipsterTittyFuck:
Babyyyy, there’s no need to pardon :O your juicy cock if it hardens
Just keep pushing through until you get lost in my garden
I can’t stop touching myself, I hope you’re jerkin’ that sturdy dick
So send me a dirty pic, and I'll know what I’m workin’ with xD

oats has attached Dickpic.jpg: Accept or Decline

Dickpic.jpg has finished downloading:

Dickpic.jpg

HipsterTittyFuck:
Ummmmmmmm……

oats:
I am a sharpening bubble for your starved entertainment
I am the shadows of my callouses carved in the pavement
I am a masochistic Aslan leading armies of Satan
the diamond ring around your neck accepting karma's engagement

HipsterTittyFuck:
Yes baby, you know that I’m starved for that carnal pleasure
I want whichever… bondage, leather… fuck it, all together!
I love that sadist shit, make it dangerous, I’ll savor it
Cuz pain is bliss... chains or whips... c'mon daddy, take your pick ;)
Come slay my clit, but save your ring, this ain’t a dating thing
The only stuff we’re engaging in are sexual awakenings
I don't think it could get hotter, here in our private sex parlor
But try to put me over the edge, oats... take it a step farther

oats:
carnal, complacent, calmly enraged with your mom in the basement
Locked in Hades' sauna while she's jogging in place
the roof is on fire, yo! the party is blazin!
ever since we lit the chron and set the martyrs aflame

HipsterTittyFuck:
Ummmmmm... My mom????????

oats:
B-)

HipsterTittyFuck:
I meeeeeean... don't get me wrong, I'd love a whirl with other girls
I've felt that sudden urge... but not with my mom, you bloody perv ;P
You've got some nerve (hehe) now back to the fun shit :)
And how I wanna feel your drumstick thumpin' up in my cum ditch

oats:
see it's just part of the game, come and witness the magic
flow like delinquents on a bridge steady pissing in traffic
My mind's the 9 to 5 grind with weekend trips to Atlantis
Painting pictures of my prison while I drift in the canvas

HipsterTittyFuck:
Soooo... I'm starting to think this whole thing is going sour
Cuz my moans were growing louder until you mentioned golden showers
That's a total downer... so you better come up with somethin, hun
Cuz I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to cum

oats:
My tolerance for all this shit's at critical mass
If you're calculating probability, you're missing your chance
Another hipster with his lens capped gripping his camera
Claiming refusal to produce questions digital standards

HipsterTittyFuck:
Well, I'm not just "another hipster" and I'm definitely not a dude
And you're being awful rude, I guess *this girl* is not for you
so I'm off of this train, and believe my trust is hard to regain
But you've gotta explain, is there something wrong with your brain???? :S

oats:
I'm an ADHD Apollo on a mission to manic
Where pandora's locked inside her box - I hear the chrysalis laughing
So I mimic it, reliving every minute that's passed
till I can stand atop her shoulders or sit in her lap

HipsterTittyFuck:
Okkk, well have fun with abstinence, you inadequate sack of shit
enjoy raping all the homeless hookers you've got locked in your cabinet
Eat a bag of dicks, I hate you, you fucking shit-stain loser
I bet a kid with six brain tumours could fucking kick game smoother

HipsterTittyFuck has left private chat @ 02:02:56 EST

oats:
*cums*

oats has left private chat @ 02:03:10 EST

[Pent uP]

Say
Word?

We're at our most corrupt when the majority voices their peacefulness -
Brutes who prove our strengths by pointing out weaknesses.
Only finding life eye opening when discovering choices that secrets hid -
Feeling shallow and aimless in a void of your deep regrets.

Pride, poise, and conceitedness reflect from the vanity dresser.
Ears twitch and shiver when sarcasm candidly enters -
while fight or flight sensations fight the abandoning measure.
- Arm wrestling as an answer to handling pressure.

Humanity's rendered with hands on a stretcher and hate on its back.
Our life's a contradiction from how wild we dress to complacently act -
It's like vegetarians saving their flesh for Satan's attack.
knowing how smart we are - we live life guessing: based on the facts.

Stressors - chained in reaction have caused our fluctuating states -
consuming bad habits with a side of sustenance and steak.
Hoping for a balance that aligns our gluttony and traits
while I use "we" as "I" in hopes that others will relate.

Succumbing to a fate while all the psychics stared off into space
and wondered how long their prophetic Tarot's were just blanks.
I've found the mis-adjusted truth was always unbearable to say -
but was never as bad as the actions we've dared to replicate.

Our glares exacerbate the mood of human connection.
At a distance too close for face to face feuding, and ending
in fighting for peace with death-stares used as our weapons.
We get argumentative over things people do in contention.

We're losers, and leg-men, procuring the movement - a segment.
We're introverts who would revert back to the womb in a second
with a temper that could make the room incandescent.
We're the richest, most exotic idea of future-less peasants.

But me? I'm different - stronger than a juggernauts prayers.
Watching you snakes slithering and pulling of layers
while I'm more promising than "I'll be calling you later."
I used "we" as "I" but all you can say's

"word?"

Originally Posted by oats

everything is relative, perspective is cluttered
cuz even after feasting you'll be destined to hunger
plus, my resumé will never say I'm better with numbers
so I'm hiding my intentions with each letter I cover

whether it's thunder or another hidden part of the puzzle
it's an excuse to push on through, please pardon the struggle
do I contradict myself? very well, I'm too large to be subtle
so I'm drafting every shred like locking arms in a huddle

I am a sharpening bubble for your starved entertainment
I am the shadows of my callouses carved in the pavement
I am a masochistic Aslan leading armies of Satan
the diamond ring around your neck accepting karma's engagement

carnal, complacent, calmly enraged with your mom in the basement
Locked in Hades' sauna while she's jogging in place
the roof is on fire, yo! the party is blazin!
ever since we lit the chron and set the martyrs aflame

see it's just part of the game, come and witness the magic
flow like delinquents on a bridge steady pissing in traffic
My mind's the 9 to 5 grind with weekend trips to Atlantis
Painting pictures of my prison while I drift in the canvas

My tolerance for all this shit's at critical mass
If you're calculating probability, you're missing your chance
Another hipster with his lens capped gripping his camera
Claiming refusal to produce questions digital standards

I'm an ADHD Apollo on a mission to manic
Where pandora's locked inside her box - I hear the chrysalis laughing
So I mimic it, reliving every minute that's passed
till I can stand atop her shoulders or sit in her lap

[Certain]

Pinot Grij: I have never seen someone take such a constricting topical league assignment and do something more creative with it. It's not even close, frankly. Your approach alone was enough to earn serious props. On top of that, you carried that approach through really well. I didn't think the interplay would stay effective, but if anything it got better as you went. The line about the mom was genius. Plus, your actual writing was very strong. Your rhymes were crisp and flow was smooth, and the story never lost momentum for even a second. Look, I'm fucking gushing but need to give you some sort of real feedback here, right? A few of the sections were maybe two lines longer than they needed to be. that might sound petty, but this verse was ridiculously long. Cutting down on, say, the section that started "Yes baby" (after oats' "diamond ring" line) and a few others would have made this more manageable. The sex talk wasn't really the funny part, after all. But that's me being picky. This was terrific, memorably so.

Pent uP: Your verse leading into oats' verse would have made for a really nice collaboration, but I thought going into the week that turning your verse into a simple complementary piece was a bit of an easy approach. Of course, the choices of verses made it difficult. Your rhymes were fluid, and there were a lot of really strong sections. It didn't help, though, that your verse wasn't as original or interesting as oats'. Obviously, he's one of the best writers on the site, so matching him was going to be difficult. Your verse was strong though. I liked the "while I use 'we' as 'I' in hopes that others will relate" line, which was a nice, quickly explained breakdown of how we write these types of verses. You probably would have beaten almost anyone in this league who had taken as direct an approach to your challenge. But you were facing a beast of a verse and concept.

Vote: Pinot Grij

Pinot - as ive already indicated ur verse was hilarious to me. Im usually not fond of the set up u used, but u executed it extremely well. You gave ur characters mad personality, and the smilies helped. Flow was it was smooth, and seamless... it almost read like a natural conversation between two parties..and despite it being lengthy it still kept me engaged. I really enjoyed the read.

Pent uP - You also wrote a really well crafted verse. Each stanza complimented oats (or vice versa if urs proceeded his.) You had some dope concepts in there as well...bad habits/steak/ face to face feuding/death stares, just to name a few...flow was also real smooth, and read fluidly. Verse was definitely good, but I just felt that pinot's approach and wording kinda took this for him.

Vote - Pinot

[Mike Wrecka]

wow fuckin insane battle. this will be best battle of the season im predicting

pinot- your take on the challenge was ingenious. you used oats verse as the basis for a back and forth conversation. and took what he wrote and flipped it in a way that was not how he intended it to be taken, but it worked incredibly well in this context. the rhyming and flow was crisp as hell. structure was complex. and it had humor which you don't see much anymore.

Our likes are so alike (lol xD) c’mon, we’re BOTH into demon lore
Norwegian swords, evil lords, Korean porn and Ouija boards

this got my attention as ridiculously dope

im wondering if you always write like this. really looking forward to reading more from you. I cant say enough good things about this verse. wildly entertaining.

pent- ok after reading pinots verse I was like its over. but pent proved once again why he is so highly regarded in the topical world. this verse was pent running on all cylinders. oats verse was sick, and I think yours meshed real well with his and was probably even better. im a big fan of multis and your were pretty insane right here. this verse beats every other verse this week except pinots

two best verses of the week. there must be a winner. it comes down to concepts and pinot had an incredible one. great battle. thanks for the reads.

vote-pinot

[Brian Bryan]

Pinot had a hilariously comical take and twist on this weeks challenge, no doubt one of the more creative pieces I've read so far this week, just everything came together. You didn't take the direct approach, but rather chose to go against the grain of the original and created something all of an entity on it's own. A stand-alone piece. There was nothing to seperate the two mechanics-wise, they were real evenly matched, and Pent adhered more to making it a collab with a more forthwith approach that was dopesauce to me, so finely crafted, intricate rhyming, a real master at work here. It's almost cliched to say but this is one of those where personal preference gives out, it was literally lmaoyannaise vs dopesauce and this week my favourite condiment happened to be... Dopesauce.

Vote - Pinot Grij

[Mike Wrecka]

uppin over no shows

[patrown]

pinot grij - lol. i wonder how oats feels about this one. damn funny. from the entire piece, i enjoyed the way you wove his verse and yours together the most. the progression was fairly smooth, and i am impressed with this as a whole. had their been less penis, i may have voted your way. :|

/v pent up - deep. enjoyed these lines immensely.

We're losers, and leg-men, procuring the movement - a segment.
We're introverts who would revert back to the womb in a second
with a temper that could make the room incandescent.
We're the richest, most exotic idea of future-less peasants.

i also liked the phrase, "chained in reaction." clever clever pent.
i have no complaints. only praise. i think there's a connection between your verses, as if you're statement is a rebuke of some kind. pretty strapped on time though. i think yours took this, with sincerity.

[Inno]

pinot

thought this was ill..you wrote some funny shit and I thought you played of good from oats verse...I mean its a twist because its obvious hes not talking about that lol...but you managed to paint a clear picture...I mean the imagery was dope as fuck.


pent.

thought you played off the verse better than your opponent...felt you added or I would even say you wrote that and oats added lol...I don't know if that makes sense...like it feels like you wrote your verse first...ill man..second verse I read with some deep profound type of writing...I like that. you displayed some skill here my friend...it was noted.


overall


i thought both showcased some ill fucking skill wit the storytelling yo. but one has to win and i gotta go with Pent on this one...pinot i loved your verse it was funny it was fresh..def fresh as fuck...creative and well written...but i thought pent played off oat' verse with fine precision and touch...creating something that meshed and gelled perfectly with oats' verse...great battle...PENT