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Old 08-24-2014, 12:54 AM   #1
Certain
Mad fucking dangerous.
 
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Posts: 12,072
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Default SHORT-VERSE ROUND 1 MAGAZINE



Short Verse, Long Mag
INTRODUCTION by Certain





Hi, friends. This is a tremendous magazine, and I'm not going to waste much of your time on the introduction. I'm excited for this Short-Verse Topical Tournament because, if nothing else, it's a change of pace. In this magazine are a couple features by me, including a list of the top 40 topical battlers on Netcees. There's also audio predictions by me, full bracket projections by a few people and big baby doing his big baby predictions. Really, you've stopped reading this introduction.

Oh, also, vote on the Final Four of the Alias Topical Tournament. The battles are open and good.



SWALLOW THIS TIP by Certain
Four strategy suggestions to keep in mind while writing for this tournament's specific parameters.





1. Don't try to do too much.
This one seems obvious enough. Space is limited. Creativity is good. But you have to limit the amount of content you're going to get into a 10-line verse. Full, fleshed-out stories are not going to work here.


2. Compress but don't choke.
Yes, your words are limited. That doesn't mean that you should start ignoring all tenets of grammar and writing style just to squeeze as much into your verse as possible. The people who find the happy medium, getting dense thoughts conveyed smoothly, will succeed here.


3. Rhyme schemes will be noticed.
In some regular topical battles, simple rhyme schemes can be used for stretches in a verse to keep the story flowing, especially if more assertive schemes are used later or earlier. But there's no time for that here. I think rhyming is going to be a big factor in this tournament.


4. Don't get too abstract.
It's going to be easy to write more abstract and poetic takes on topics when you've only got 10 lines to work with. But if you don't stay grounded, your voters have less space to sort through metaphors and find content they like.

Basically, write well.



The List
TOP 40 TOPICAL BATTLERS by Certain
This shit took a long time, so read it all for once instead of just searching for your own name, dickheads.





This is a list of the best topical writers on this site. I decided who made this list. I decided the order of this list. I only picked people who have been involved in at least a handful of topical battles on this site. When I say "this site," I mean Netcees.co. I wasn't around for the previous version. I wasn't around for eight years. But I probably have read something like 70% of the topical battles ever on this version of Netcees.

To be clear: Open Mic verses and non-Netcees.co writing was not factored in at all in these rankings. That's why you'll see some people who seem to be ranked a little too low. They probably haven't shown everything they are capable of on this version of this site. But I didn't think it was fair to factor in that I read Atheist's amazing stories on RhymeNReason a decade ago without counting stuff by, say, Bladed Thesis, who was well established at another respected site but new to me when he came here.

If you're wondering why seeding does not match this list's order, the reason is because I seeded based on how well I thought each person could adapt their style to the demands of the short-verse format.

Let's get started:

40. Innovator
One thing you'll see a lot of on this list is people who could be many spots higher if they asserted themselves. That applies to @Innovator, who frustratingly no-shows a lot and doesn't put consistent effort into his writing. Sometimes his supposed poetics can be opaque and confusing, but other times, he offers glimmering images with a soft touch.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Innovator View Post
Shes lost in the reflection of the puddles she jumps
Chasing bridges in knee high tides
Drifting along the windows like a moving mannequin
Sifting through the glass seeking truth in the contrast
She was adamant. Finding herself between each rocks
Misplacement, at last.

39. timeless
These sites are littered with people who have been around for a decade and are not really challenging themselves anymore. That makes the presence of someone like @timeless so refreshing. He's still feeling out what he's doing, but he's improved at an incredibly rapid rate. He tries a lot of different things and has a good knack for rhyming.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timeless View Post
It’s been described as a war since the birth of our planet.
Human first! Because of this, they’re not learning to manage
how to accept defeat, and one day will be the end of their days.
There’s nothing they can do or say to stop her from sending waves
to attack the land mass. Which in return quakes, the ground loosens.
Ash pours from volcanoes disrupting the pace of cloud movement.
Mother Nature fires back, again she brings a tsunami to land.
Mother Earth clutches a breath and begins to embody a plan
to disrupt her quasi stance with power. This allowed her
flowers to bloom calmly, she prevailed seasons filled with showers.

38. Rawn MD
The butt of so many jokes, it's easy to forget that @Rawn MD is one of the most experienced still around (if he's still around) on these sites. Rawn MD has all the fundamentals down pat, but he rarely shows much because he's usually writing from a phone while on the lam. His small hands make this particularly difficult, as he has a hard time reaching some keys on his slide phone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rawn M.D. View Post
He’d been baptized after birth through crimes of the church
felt this practice was reserved for adult minds to discern
Drowned down by dogma, bogged out by his beliefs
The church refused to recognize him, or his theology
He walked the higher path, and wouldn’t wash his feet
Excommunicated the weak spirited through divine decree
Moved misers with wise words, and treaded their tithes
spoke of divinity being where humility and the trinity coincide

37. patrown
Perhaps @patrown is pretty well defined by his raccoon avatar. He's the type who can dig up victories without being noticed, in the middle of the night (when he does almost all of his posting and boarding). He used to write mostly short verses, but he fleshed out more this past season of the Art of Writing League. He's not very polished but always has a lot to say, and he uses rhymes well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by patrown View Post
beware the lonely life of men with vision who've never seen,
ones who change their own truth to fill missing pieces of a scheme,
where life's a void, devoid of meaning, teeming with serpents,
slithering to polish the sheen of evil purpose across platinum thrones,
swarming and adorning every corner of land like fossilized stone,
they absorb all it gives, then waste away to die with no home,
while the tide of the known reaches its limits safely,
our eroding shores of finite proportion are wasting away,
like grey coral absorbing tones of stray floral pollen,
wash clean again in the storm, this is our life cycle's autumn,

36. The Mind Assassin
Almost impossible to rank because of how agonizingly philosophical he attempts to be, @The Mind Assassin (also know as VERITAS) probably is on interchanging days the most overrated or underrated writer on this site. He struggles to balance rhyming and content, and I strongly prfer when he puts the emphasis on the latter. That's the thing about The Mind Assassin: He usually has something to say, when he wants to say it. And the result is some really engrossing work, even if it's sporatic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mind Assassin View Post
The cold rainy weather soaked his fur; chills ran down his emaciated frame
The zoo was empty of plenty, the workers stopped caring, preparing for blame
No pitter patter of field trip’s feet, no family outings of value-infused morality
Yes this zoo was history, flawless victory, and Socrates the tiger was owed fatality
The rain beat upon him callously; he whimpered and moaned in agony
Then closed his eyes to die, but instead he entered the spirit realm magically:

35. Objective
The big surprise is that his verses don't tend to be as long as his Discussion posts. English is, I believe, @Objective's second language, but he represents himself well in the topical arena. He plays around with styles a lot and actively tries to improve, and it's worked. He's at his best when telling straight-forward stories, though, particularly when he can show some creativity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Objective View Post
Wounded and hurt as the rest of the earth took it with ease,
it opened up for the middle east to get rid of the world police.
Left in debris the muslim brotherhood grew in numbers,
the state of humanity reached insanity and the wish for a system slumbers.
The countries that used to cumber eventually woke up as well,
Russia got invaded by neighbours and reached their own kind of Hell.
The shell of world war three didn't dwell on marking its presence,
it's dark in its essence, doom lies in desire for pleasence.

34. Zen
Here's a theme to look for throughout this list, similar to guys who don't try very often: @Zen would be much higher if this list were about Open Mic submissions. He's taken to writing very evocative verses in that forum. Unfortunately, he has struggled to apply that writing to the topical side of things. He's skilled enough, particularly at rhyming but also at unique phrasing, to be a very good topical writer. But focus has never been his strength.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen View Post
life is so odd to me.
learning dichotomies,
certainties/anomalies.
serfs, and the honorees
all purchasing commodities,
furnishing their modest lease
till it's perfect. "ahh...complete."
the odyssey of modern socrates.
the anomaly/oddity, freak,
constantly watching fleets
lobbying for kanye's tweets.
democracy's lobotomy, geez.

33. Ink
Currently working on a book or something, @Ink is a consumate storyteller with a solid grip on the fundamentals. I wasn't around when he was putting more into this, but he impressed me in Season 3 of the Art of Writing League and did well in Season 1 as well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ink View Post
"Fuck out of my office, bitch, enough of your shit!"
Cross Mike off the employment list and that's one less prick
Bloodsuckers, all of em, just slurping this business dry
I tried to be nice, I find that it was a waste of my time
They pushed me to the edge, so it'd be rude if I don't jump
Instead of fist bumps, it's fisticuffs if they don't show enough
Initiative to do their damn jobs right without me down their throats
I got cameras at every angle, watching these dogs from my throne
'All I see is dollar signs' so if a single customer frowns
I will Chris Brown these fuckers and send them on their way out

32. Mr. J
Six months ago, @Mr. J was the most active writer on this site. He's been around less and less, which is a shame because I really liked being blessed with those short drops of lyrical fury. He doesn't always worry about clarity or the reader, but his verses are always interesting to read, and you can always find at least one line you want to quote.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. J View Post
yet, I'm upset, I'm displeased with all the answers I get..
what I don't understand, what I know, everything that dances in my head
just more reasons to leave me consumed in this question under my breath..
the theories, the diagrams, the lost dialect that I've been fed
written in dusted text..solemnly swore that we would never forget
better yet....never learn because some of us were never a threat....

31. trap
This site's ultimate veteran, @trap may be the longest-active textcee anywhere, having started back in (I think) 1996. He used to be one of the best in this discipline, but his effort and rust levels have taken off in opposing directions. Still, when he's focused, he has a very natural but emotional style that I enjoy a lot.
Quote:
Originally Posted by trap. View Post
And despite thee, damaging shit, like her love for glamour and glitz
There was a passion that was frantically missed
Like can a person that’s so callous exist? Who knows
But her shine by design was refined as fools gold
A bruised soul, there was more to her, estranged on the surface
And the evil she withheld was a page in a novel of curses
A demon screaming through the walls of all churches, a remarkable find
By design, she was the sign of the times
And our seed .. forever caught in the mixture, a forked tongue
The lisp that existed was a mark in the scripture refined as part of a bigger picture




30. Bladed Thesis
Brought here by dead man or Aero, I think, @Bladed Thesis apparently was a topical star at their old long-bar site. That fits with his style, which is based heavily on dark imagery and great rhymes. He did very well in Season 3 of the Art of Writing League after joining here, though. His versatility is up for debate, and his content sometimes seemed thin. But with writing and rhyming as polished as his, he could be higher on this list if he asserts himself fully here in the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bladed Thesis View Post
Crowds went silent of course and the vibe was remorse
Eyes to the horde, these visitors arrived with such force
Flying in swords, humanity wondered what kind of plight was aboard
From the sky came our lord, their own type of Titan of sorts
Their mightiest with a mind for the gore, violence enforced
Appearing to land, the skysword beamed lights to the shore
Striking the floor, it caused a crater right where it roared
Engines humming vibrant to the core as if it was enlightened by torch

29. King Ra.
If this list were based entirely on writing ability, @King Ra. would be about 10 spots higher. But where the soon-to-be returning Art of Writing League moderator falters is his overzealous attacks on topics. He's constantly trying to write the verse to end all verses, like if Bruce Springsteen attempted to make every song into "Jungleland." (No one here will get that reference. Listen to the song.) Every once in a while, he delivers. But more often he's throwing out unpalatable multipart stories or half-baked end-of-the-world scenarios.
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Ra. View Post
Ambition as a rider. Freedom fighter for truth.
Justice & order. The plan? Simple. Nothing to lose.
Years of hashing out the schemes & deciphering clues.
An ear for every word & eyes on the news.
As the time drew nearer, the vision became clearer in view.
They would never see it coming. Not even if they elected to choose.
Every movement is etched in thought. Plus, I've paid my dues.
Their establishment is now surrounded. I signal the troops....

28. Atheist
In his prime, @Atheist was perhaps the most natural storyteller in this genre's history. He wasn't wildly lyrical or creative or emotional or funny or gruesome, though he had all those elements in his bag of tricks. He simply told stories, usually from beginning to end, without letting them get buried in all the distractions that lesser writers consider so important. He's about 15 spots higher on my all-time list than he is here because he so rarely drops full verses on this site and seems to have lost his 2004 through 2006 fire. But that doesn't mean he doesn't bring it from time to time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atheist View Post
Jack was so close; he could smell her arousing scent
A moment he always dreamt,
Except he wanted to hold her hand, with her consent
In the queue for the coaster, he could make out every word she says
He would strike from behind her when he was sat one carriage away
As time ushered away, his heart was pounding
Rising higher & higher, now in fear of his surroundings
Jack was scared of heights, he lost grip of the knife
& clutched onto the handlebars, scared for his life

27. Vividlyvague
A mystery man not too long ago, @Vividlyvague has become a mainstay on the Netcees topical scene over the past 10 months. In addition to diving for loose balls, Vividlyvague writes some of the strangest stuff around. He doesn't have a single defining style, switching from mimicking zygote to Frank to oats to whomever else without mastering any of those styles. But he often writes very interesting verses, usually with unique perspective.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vividlyvague View Post
Tips are more important than pointers.
A stake in his fantasy's a drop in the coin purse.
A rhythmic wooing to boost his juices could reward her.
Marriage is that fabled escape where eternity and true love meet borders.
A john is as far from biblical as the acts done with them.
A car note is the note to hit, while his focus is what chokes within.
Open wallets make empty pockets and happy strolls on the strip.
A businessman is a small market venture, where capital is upper, cased in clips.
Cinderella's a deity.

26. Nigma
Few people put together a rhyme scheme like @Amgin Shaheen (I'm willing to use that fucking horrible name only for the purpose of tagging), for better or worse. His stead and unceasing string of rhymes often has been his undoing, when he lets it get in the way of content. He's really tough to rank for that reason. But there's that top gear, that gear he hits when he puts in enough time to really show how good he can be. His run to the semifinals of The Winter Topical was neither fluke (OK, second- and third-round no-shows make it a little bit of a fluke) nor representative of where he belongs on this list. He has the talent but too often fails to show it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amgin Shaheen View Post
Although I grew unseen you knew that some-thing was askew
1 week since it was due.. well geeze I guess the truth runs deep
I look to you mommy but the younger you-fucked-me
every new puff your bic lit, my tomb comes creepin
in your glued lungs, leaking, and the goo sludged me
phew.. huff, wheezing. i’m a brute, SUCK, breathing
wonder who? what blunder? while the blues haunt
seeing all these new taught fiends who watch
the tube, “God’s” preacher , he produces thoughts

25. Adonis
Having probably been in more topical battles on this version of Netcees than anyone else, @Adonis is interesting because he still is evolving so obviously after more than a decade of doing this. He's constantly, for better or worse, trying new things. The result is one of the most eerily up-and-down showings on this site, as Adonis is capable of getting shut out by writers not even good enough to make this list but also beating top-10 foes. He could be 10 spots higher if he had a better grasp of what makes himself good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adonis View Post
Lights whisking by, horns blaring my mind.
Whiskey briskly siphoning into a derelicts grind.
The carelessness shines,
A good soul hanging from his heritage pine.
A heretic sips from the holly grail with the unholiest swines.
A ghost in disguise, leading relics to crimes.
I once was revered, cherished and primed.
Set to be the next savior – placed ahead of the line.
And instead of following suit, I opted out of design.

24. YDK
Ignore his unfortunate Discussion posting for a second. @YDK came to this version of Netcees not long after I did, and his first verses were really rough. But he smoothed things out throughout the Art of Writing League's second season and came back refreshed for the third, reaching the tournament final and proving he can hang with very good writers. His approaches to topics tend to hold him back as much as anything, but he has a polished writing style that's very based in hip hop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by YDK View Post
I know,
you're settled and blessed with a smartass job,
but you dont have the time to get your own garden off.
The jobs a pressure cooker stressing your noggin hard.
you're bombing under fire...
but can't shell out the Molotov's.
Every form of your form thats formed You, the present,
was forced through a course that was a force to be reckoned
and taught you the importance of morsels and seconds.
Your bearings set now when you're torn in directions
because you've learned to navigate storms with a death wish.

23. IamBenT
I wasn't around for @IamBenT's very impressive run in Season 1 of the Art of Writing League, but I went back and read his verses. But upon investigation, he clearly has a lot of talent. My research suggests IamBenT was part of the final era of the RSTL, but his stylings remind me a little of Dahlohner and a few others from that league's glory days. He doesn't wow me (and to be honest shouldn't have been 8-1 in matches he showed for in Season 1, when voting was rather unnuanced), but he puts a lot in. I'd like to see him come back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IamBenT View Post
Her hard labor in the face of Father’s fortune was grace apportioned
As a taste of favor to my sore, thin – lungs wrung from asthma wheezes,
Many hymns sung from asking Jesus, “Please, Master heal this
Son!, like Paul’s kerchiefs slung in Past Ephesus”..Wracked with diseases,
I sleep slumped in a chair, - but once I’m aware, its back to being hyperactive
Catching bugs in glasses since Father bought an otter seal and hacked it!
Disgusted at its bits of guts and its bicuspids, but the stuff I trusted
Was each gush of grit and crust had purpose, fit and function – I was rare!
Like Audubon’s broad birds of the air… the raw earth of S. Fullerton Baird!

22. Mike Wrecka
One of the few people with a legitimate topical championship on this version of Netcees, @Mike Wrecka is easy to underrate because he has such a straight-forward, traditional style. He relies heavily on concepts and topical approaches; rather than being a traditional storyteller or topicalist, he prefers character sketches. That does give him a bit of a disadvantage against the best of the best. But what you find with Mike Wrecka is that he knows how to step his game up when he needs to, and he rarely writes something not worth reading.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Wrecka View Post
in a fortress of solitude having delusional thoughts,
effectively imprisoned by an immovable force,
this vessel isn't special its a crucible lost ,
in time and space searching for a suitable torch,
to light the way off of this unusual course,
the pain of every day is a renewable source,
still hopeful, keeping all my cuticles crossed,
that no one needs to worry about my funerals cost,
counting down the days until my freedom arrives,
but how long can the spirit of a human being survive?,

21. Cereal_Killa
Somewhere between the font switches, centered type and purple, @Cereal_Killa is one of the most interesting writers on these sites and has been for about a decade. He's ridiculously weird and grandiose, but his penchant for graceful diction and metaphoric storytelling is a special trait when he's on point. His key is keeping his content somewhat linear and decipherable. When he does, he's tough to beat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cereal_Killa View Post
Dirt; amongst most things, courses the canvas I dance with
On madness unanswered, I nurture a virtue with few chances
Of future worth and purpose that hurdle in an insolvent hole of inertia
These volcanic serges now circle my scenery of soon to be certain exertion
Though surrendering all option’s seems as organic as monopoly
I micro manage in a silent rice field of dreams.. properly
Told if I sew I can plough, If I plough I can sift, If I sift I can sit
Away from all of this shit




20. Genocide
Rhymes and anger. @Genocide is a battler who happens to do it on the topical scene. He disappointingly hasn't fully applied himself in this realm on Netcees for any more than a week or two consecutively, but when he comes with the heat, it burns. Mostly, Genocide puts his bursts of energy into typing really long Discussion stories, making videos with Seadad and writing to record. That makes sense, and he's a pretty strong rapper as a whole. But I'd love to see him really apply himself fully for one run on the topical side.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Genocide View Post
My comfort level was growing, I'm sure you probably guessed it
Had'r own house, and a refridgerator full from lasagna to lettuce
Forget it, figured I found a good girl I could fuck for a while
Pussy was plump, plus my whole level of hunger was down
I started coming around more, and I began noticing shit
Like she never went to work, how she afford groceries and kids?
So to myself I'm like, we need to have a social event
And talk about the type of things she has to go through for rent

19. Diode
Something about a fiscal quarter meant @Diode didn't participate in Season 3 of the Art of Writing League after taking his first loss by votes in the league. (He had gone 8-0 beforehand.) Here's the thing about Diode: He uses single-syllable rhymes pretty much every time. I can't say that about anyone else on this list. Yet here he is, in the top 20, because he knows how to approach topics and tell stories and write clearly and cleanly with the reader in mind. His assonance, consonance and simple internal rhyming keep his cadence flowing, which also is helped with meticulous meter. But still, he uses single-syllable rhymes almost always.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diode View Post
a graduate soon, the young man put his thoughts into view
painting pictures with elixirs that helped him imbue
the colors of his rage from his mind onto the page
his teachers called him brilliant as he quickly came of age
glibly, he engaged.. you see, this hobby was private
anonymous artist from the start, his work was meant to be silent
a bitter boy remained inside without an interest in guidance
and so his muse's meanings took a turn for the violent

18. Witty
When he's not no-showing, @Witty is a pretty damn good writer. These days that mostly means freewriting, usually in Open Mic. He simply doesn't seem motivated to participate in topical battling. Rhyming is where he specializes, and at times he can ride those a little more than he perhaps should. But when he hones in on a topic and finds his more eloquent side, he writes very intellectually. I'd say he can be a little wordy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witty View Post
Contorted in pain, trapped in a fortress where the torturous reign
Torches aflame, as I'm held down with force and restrained
My body scorched 'til I'm nothing more than a corpse with a brain
I feel no remorse yet I feign like I repent from my evil deeds
As demons breathe down my neck, ignoring my reprieval pleas
They rip the skin from my bone, as their King sits on his throne
Prisoners prone; bowing before being tossed in the pit, a pitiful zone
Where the miserable moan and wither....alone

17. Just Write
I have no idea where @Just Write went and disappeared to, but he was really starting to come into his own right before his latest disappearance. Just Write is a marine or something, and his writing style kind of fits that background. He's very forward in his storytelling and rhyming and everything else. He puts it all out there, writing with emotion but also clarity. There's not enough of that around here. What brings him up to this elite level, though, is his simple ability to spin a tale. He's a storyteller, the old-school type who captures readers while making sure his mechanics stay in place throughout.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Write View Post
im so grateful to be out of that relationship. starting a brand new life & future
dad's been great too, he lent me a few grand for furniture & to buy a computer.
So now my living room is picture perfect, IKEA's most modern decore
From the paper machete light covers to the eco-friendly rug on the floor
But I feel something is missing, and fear im the type that needs a companion
Sometimes it's trippy, I think I miss all the bitching and excessive nagging
So i've decided to sign up to a few Social networking sites to try my luck
But I'm not desperate, so if I dont find a connection, i might find someone to fuck

16. Eŋg
The Brit also known as oXus (along with a grip of aliases) has one of the most unassailable writing styles on this site. @Eŋg likes to think of himself as a thinker because he thinks a lot, so I guess he is a thinker. It shows in his deliberate diction, which never once lets rhyme mechanics slip. Reading one of his verses requires a quiet room and a bit of thought. Everything has its purpose, and the verse won't reveal itself to you without contemplating that. That can be a limiting factor in topical battles, but he's one of my favorites.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eŋg View Post
Youth was erratic. Found myself in several places.
School sought to dull anything conceptually native,
Writing could lift scars that were indelible... plaintive,
Would oft bleed on the page to find the remedy makeshift,
From prodigious to prodigal, confidence effectively tainted,
This condition of living’s an unforgettable ailment.
I remember, a nascent, second-hand haze of that chemical fragrance,
The memory traces: lines pensive, and latent, yet to be painted.

15. ZeeDee
I knew him way back when he was just a young dicnyaeye, but @ZeeDee now is one of the most established and greatest ever to do it in this genre. He apparently still has his hyper-emotional tendencies, and he also still has his knack for some of the weirdest, crispest storytelling around. Early in his career, those stories were hard to follow, particularly as he started making his rhyme schemes more complex. But as he developed, he learned to balance things and became one of the toughest to beat because of his high effort level. Unfortunately, he hasn't been around much since Season 1 of the Art of Writing League.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeeDee View Post
Fantasies made worst with fake Captain Kirks
have turned into rape by the morning
Whether dating or whoring
these promiscuous freaks instantly lead to alien orgies
Where getting beamed up, will get you a reamed butt
with enough space for a 40oz
Within this process, the sin is monstrous, but their fellatio's great
Using wet tentacles to suck from testicles
down through the anus and taste.....
Your intestinal lining so when your reclining and expecting to play,
They rest on your face to exchange fluids and increase pregnancy rates

14. Soulstice
"I can hardly keep myself from using 10 lines to describe a ***tus or something," @Soulstice said in signing up for the short-verse tournament. And maybe that's true. He's one of the most eloquent and deft topical writers ever, to the point that it becomes a double-edged sword sometimes. Soulstice loves to tell stories, but he doesn't often tell them directly. He tells them in clouds of imagery, woven together with very precise wording and strong fundamental mechanics. That means he loses lazy readers. And most readers are lazy. But he still has been very successful, including reaching the Art of Writing League's Season 1 championship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulstice View Post
The first ones fell like bluebirds hit by arrowhead rocks
The next ones just watched, froze in harrowing shock
It's no gradual drop to carrion rot - even post-graduates got
Their futures written in the current - victims all the sudden
That feel of hot steel was like those foreign laughs
He had long ago, as he began storming the cafe

13. NYCSPITZ
One of this site's greatest enigmas in every sense, @NYCSPITZ wants to write all the time but rarely shows for battles. He can beat anyone at his best, when he feels like staying on topic. He's got the right mix of Vulgar, dead man and Frank to be the very best on this site, but he puts all those elements together only maybe 10% of the time. So NYCSPITZ instead gets the reputation of an underachiever. He's creative, crisp and intellectual. But he's kind of an unstable person sometimes, or at least he portrays himself as such on this board. At least he's back to the name we recognize (though I liked Totoro).
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCSPITZ View Post
Mozart, Chopin, Bach, he's sick with the keys
Piano playin' mask faced Argentinian teen
Masterpieces serene - it's like his thoughts are nebulous things
Nature's youthful call, Nature: wizened senescent king.
He's free here. Complete...human when these sentiments ring
over chinchillas, trees...and the ravine's tendrinous strings
"Music's your destiny," a mother cold, venemous sings
the bluff's height, Nature's clarity humming tenderest hymns.

12. Split
If it seems weird to think of @Split (Eight no longer) as a relative newcomer to this scene, that's a testament to how much he's improved in the past year or so. When I first came, he still was sorting through his blurry, muddled word choice to find the cohesive writer's voice that he now operates with. He's probably the most truly poetic around these parts, influenced by a handful of other writers here but also very much his own. He was a big part of the inspiration for this very tournament, and I hope he continues to push things in new directions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Split View Post
I'd lay down inside
and timewalk cartoon digs... lay afternoons,
captive adrift. the ocean in Saugus unmoving
in framed Massachusetts. parents spent effort-
played concert music to stave off amusement.
I'd usually slouch, fire off texts on my VX-6000...
as we crested 2000s we were scions of tech,
and the loudness of countless #pounds and then SENDs
drowned out the crowds in the den.

11. Johnathan Mercy
I don't know if he's still trying to keep his former identity a secret, but I won't spill the beats on @Johnathan Mercy just in case. Regardless, it suffices to say that he is one of the most established and talented writers ever in this realm. But those past accolades aren't what put him here. Instead, I'm basing this off his dense, refined and highly technical, bracing writing style shown in the Art of Writing League's third season, when he made a run that far exceeded in quality his 4-3 record. I hope he comes back soon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnathan Mercy View Post
She is rampant entropy;
- A phantom entity of vast complexity
And while we cocaine-addled mammals helplessly,
try to recapture our mental balance chemically
She'll show her outstanding lack of empathy
- and ravage destinies faster than you can whack a Kennedy
Chaos in the guise of apparent symmetry
slashing with brevity through our sarcastic pleasantries
in Her totality with iron cast integrity
fanatic enmity and volcanic ecstasy




10. Pent uP
Netcees' lone Hall of Famer who identifies himself primarily as a topical battler, @Pent uP and his fans might be surprised to find him so low on this list. And that's understandable, but it's worth noting that this list was compiled based on this version of Netcees. While Pent uP had some great battles in Season 1 of the Art of Writing League, he also has been a bit up-and-down since. His style is remarkably technical, and when he wants to push the gas down on that end, he can blow away opponents. But his old-school approach doesn't always work, and sometimes his writing can be stiff. He's still a tough out against anyone, particularly when he pulls out his considerable storytelling skills.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pent uP View Post
The mission's accepted and this one is hectic with enemies on the trace
within a Chinese army compound, where there may be no means for escape.
I had to sign a waiver after everything was explained -
Stating I can't use my military credentials while ever being detained.
I'm near the Chinese army base, laying in ditches of mud;
This covers up my entire body to exist as a bug.
It wasn't tough, but the circumference of the base is so tight
with patrols controlling perimeters of the space through the night.

9. Pinot Grij
Like Johnathan Mercy, @Pinot Grij is a well-established topical legend who hasn't come right out with his former identity. And like Johnathan Mercy, he's proven more than worthy of respect in his own right. Pinot Grij is the best straight-forward storyteller on this site, with a fluidity to his writer's voice and rhyme mechanics that consistently impresses. He regularly shows off his tremendous sense of humor, too. If we're talking about writers at their very, very best, he may top the list. Unfortunately, he seems to disdain a lot of topics and doesn't show the same flair when writing more serious stories and topicals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinot Grij View Post
HipsterTittyFuck:
Yes baby, you know that I’m starved for that carnal pleasure
I want whichever… bondage, leather… fuck it, all together!
I love that sadist shit, make it dangerous, I’ll savor it
Cuz pain is bliss... chains or whips... c'mon daddy, take your pick ;)
Come slay my clit, but save your ring, this ain’t a dating thing
The only stuff we’re engaging in are sexual awakenings
I don't think it could get hotter, here in our private sex parlor
But try to put me over the edge, oats... take it a step farther

8. Vulgar
One of our great scholars in that he goes to community college, @Vulgar's Open Mic verses often require PhD's or weird reading habits to discern. But he knows his audience for topical battling and has shown a great propensity for stripping things back a little when it's required. The thing Vulgar never seems to get credit for is how ridiculously difficult some of his rhymes are. He's often working with four-syllable words that make for very little flexibility, but he comes through with tremendously tight mechanics. He's also a very good storyteller, though his full-force ability shows best in denser, social-commentary laden verses. But as good as his top gear is, a big part of this ranking comes from the fact that he still is experimenting and discovering new ways to stay at the elite level.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vulgar View Post
The Nubian general Naazim paced in his jail cell, inept and resourceless
bereft of his forces, he had clouds about his bald head, the weather was morbid
A wretched and sordid feudalist King named Nabuch was responsible for his imprisonment
Guards were hitting him with grim instruments, vividly aware of his innocence
He had dissented on the battlefields of Nabta Playa for condemning the law
when he refused to let archers fire on a monastery defending its cause

7. Frank
@Frank looms over all proceedings in the Netcees topical scene like a spector. When he got knocked out of The Winter Topical in a first-round upset, he wrote to all eight topics used in the second round. Then there's the Art of Writing League history, what with Red glare and disqualifications and a shutout loss that he's still in denial about. For now, Frank seems to have disappeared. Or perhaps he's taken cover under a new alias. Either way, I hope he pops up soon and brings us more antics. But along the way, I really hope he brings us more verses. That's what makes Frank worth talking about, after all. He has this unique and fluid style, often using a single rhyme for an entire verse while digging out all sorts of storytelling styles. He can play it straight, go for comedy or dig deep into the emotional side. His non-storytelling verses aren't quite on the elite tier, but he usually can turn anything into a story, and he grounds those stories in hip hop more than just about anyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank View Post
I played this here guitar for years, and never did I ever have me a lesson
I could remember the long, rectangular, gift wrapped box - leaning up against a stack of presents.
The wrapping paper had been thrashed in seconds. It piled, piling into ceramic heaven
"What's all that bantering and yellin" My grandma said from upstairs- snapping to the rackets snazzy rhythm
Nat had a knack for expression. He'd play until the wee hours of the night: wooing to clapping reception.
In the smoke lit, moonlight - he'd strum notes through the fog of cancerous drafts through the dimensions.

6. big baby (and friends)
Though no one can touch him in an AIM cypher, @big baby sometimes gets overlooked on the topical battling circuit because he doesn't stick with it for very long. The thing is, he almost never loses. Zombie, one of his friends who he ghostwrites for, went 5-0 before quitting the Art of Writing League's third season. big baby himself had probably the best verses of the first two rounds of The Winter Topical before half-assing his way through the third round against dead man and losing. In the rare instances where he really puts his mind into the topic at hand, he can beat anyone. But he often seems distracted, perhaps with his own enormous ego. He's going to get really mad that he's fifth on this list.
Quote:
Originally Posted by big baby View Post
Truth be told, you're more of autumn to me. We would paddle boat on Dawsons creek
You evoked Mozarts' artsy dream, but the boring parts you had omitted
the melody of your curvy form had the rhythm of a jazz musician
See in July, we hit the beaches, the waves invaded your southern peaches
Water would drip form of tempos reaching a Treble clef where your letter-G is
Barbecues. We lit cigars. Oh it was a blast, we had a car
Fireworks. The fire worked, drunk in diners, t'was so bizarre.
She shot a cupid, aimed with perfect symphony so innately ruthless.
To say classical music relaxings' a therapeutic claim. And for you I'm crazy stupid

5. Lars
His troll persona in the Discussion forum has led to numerous bannings (explaining his current use of @sraL and @Camarac names), but Lars also was the victor of the best tournament on this version of Netcees, The Winter Topical. That's no surprise to anyone who is even somewhat paying attention to this scene: Baron Mynd (his most prominent user name for most of his text career) has been one of the best for years in topical writing. His style is what really makes him stand out. Lars has sort of hybridized RIKOSHAY's rhyme-heavy styles with a stripped-back diction. He operates with very complex rhyme schemes but keeps very polished clarity, making his verses very reader-friendly. They flow and make sense perfectly on the first read, and that helps him make up for not having as many layers to peal back as some others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lars View Post
No sense of direction, yet a desire to explore
inherently extant and hard-wired in us all.
As a child, once we’re born, and our muscles develop
we rise up from crawling to look for new ventures.
A wonderful sense of intrigue and fun
is discovered in everything seen and touched.
Our keen indulgence outgrows the pedagogical brain
which feeds compulsively on the knowledge we gain.
There’s a lot to explain and not always the grown up
to offer their take or talk to and show us.

4. dead man
No one has an Open Mic résumé to match dead man's. He has three Hall of Fame pieces, and seemingly every other piece he writes at least gets nominated. That freewriting suits his graceful diction and self-assured writing style. He has thoughts and wordplays and observations that need to be released. But dead man is more than a great freewriter. He's one of the most accomplished topical writers ever because he can apply that deft rhyming and voice to more focused work. He'll be the first to tell you he was more invested in focusing on specific subjects a few years ago, and his versatility (particularly storytelling) is a step behind most of the others at this level these days. But he also knows how to make a topic work for his advantage, and no one has a more reader-friendly style.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dead man View Post
do you remember the times?
lakeshore, 1800, cherry pepsi and lime
riding slow, Eldorado. dashboard maple and pine
now its just another shallow introspection of mine..
Obedience: a deity commanding the tides
while scapegoating the rest of us who haven't decided
what to label our crises. our gradual sedation, serene
smile wide. watch our reminiscence fade into screams

3. El Pancake
It's easy enough to assume that @El Pancake only writes about pretty white girls. I think he even likes the characterization that he only writes about pretty white girls. But he almost never writes about pretty white girls, at least not in topical battles. He knows he could write about pretty white girls in every verse and probably win almost every time. But he doesn't drink as much, which probably means that his personal interactions with pretty white girls have normalized a bit. And when he does write about pretty white girls, he specializes in making the takes fresh and original. So yes, El Pancake writes very, very well about pretty white girls. No one could beat him in a battle about pretty white girls. But he also writes about dystopic futures and office job malaise and grief and social media and all sorts of other fun stories, along with the pretty white girls. The pretty white girls might be characters in those stories, but that's hardly relevant. This is: With or without pretty white girls involved, El Pancake is the best storyteller on this site.
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Pancake View Post
The pangs of former gossamer throes;
formerly raked, now you willing walk through the coals
in fettered debt. Coloring your tone monochrome in beige
in every tete a tete. You've grown your lot in lone malaise,
honed. 'We' as estranged, with her goading exposition.
"You must love me." Probably, by the supposed definition.
But you could say the same about any pretty white girl
I've known and for which all my prose is written.

2. oats
Versatility may be the most overlooked aspect of topical writing. Why? Well, it doesn't show in any one verse. It's not very obvious unless you read someone's work week in and week out. That's when it starts to become apparent that a writer can tackle all sorts of styles and approaches and tones. @oats is one of the three most versatile topical writers on this site, and he shows it over the long haul. He can be funny or downcast or wildly optimistic. I tend to think the latter is his preferred form, the hippy Hawaiian blogger dreaming about days on the beach and the first time he heard Illmatic or saw B.J. Penn's bulging groin in spandex. I'd go so far as to say that no one on this board could even stand a chance at beating oats in a battle of upbeat, positive verses. Most of us are fucking downers, even when we do show comedic efforts. oats' 8-0 start to the third season of the Art of Writing League showcased that versatility in full force.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oats View Post
set…
The table with genetics, buffet of character traits
While environment decides how much of what’s on the plate
combined they’re some kind of fate, do your best to prepare
Life's a formative test - there's not a second to spare!
Give him the fundamentals - strong reading and math
Consistent discipline the compass for him to keep on the path
to succeed or to laugh? now that’s just silly, inane
think of Achilles - why do you even know Achilles’ name?
even Icarus would be ridiculous if he didn’t try to fly to the sun
so don’t get straddled by distractions - there’s a life to be won




1. zygote
Let's start with this: @zygote can write like you better than you write like you. His impression verses are legendary. He's so good at them because he processes nuance at a very high level and is deeply commited to every verse he writes. That translates perfectly to topical writing. Reading a zygote verse is like becoming one with the topic and his approach. No one that I've ever seen in my 13 years doing this is as creative and encompassing about how they approach topics. Sure, I don't like every verse he writes. You won't, either. He sometimes retells fables, which I've never been a fan of. He doesn't always give a fuck about rhyme mechanics. But it's all for the purpose of the verse. And this ranking even ignores the fact that he usually has that verse written and posted within two hours of seeing the topic. He's the best. You probably don't even realize it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zygote View Post
The buzzing hum of their chat sounds like some ancient tongue in a chant.
They all hush for the champ.
The Yucatan Slugger is back, fresh from his ban to play in his one hundredth match.
As he appears cheers become a rumbling clap,
Commentators stumbling - jumbling facts.
Yucatan emerges from the shadows, half blubber- half fat.
He spits his gum out the back. Missing a tooth, substance abuse and misuse of drugs will do that.
He walks out to the mound with his foot touching the bat.
Yucatan steps up to the slab.
Bouncing up and down his number one bat,
the lucky homerunner all rugged and wrapped, scotch tape covers the patch where he filled up a crack.
He rubs it for luck, Tap, Tap, rub and then Tap.


Back to the Tournament
BRACKETOLOGY by Adonis, El Pancake, oats and Certain
Four top-caliber topicalists offered their predictions for how this entire tournament would play out, a la NCAA Tournament pools. We'll keep track of how they do throughout the tournament.





Adonis

"I will say that I expect about ten no shows and I know some talent off that alternate list which would drastically change this."




El Pancake

"Caveat: Predictions assume 100% show rate."




oats

"OATS CHAMPION OF THE WORLD"




Certain

"I made the bracket, so I could have went chalk. But I forced myself to consider upsets to make this interesting."




ROUND 1 PICKS/
LISTEN UP
by big baby and Certain
Yes, he's back. Yes, you'll want to read these. But first, you can listen to me make some predictions in the audio recording below!





1. dead man vs. 16. MKG | Don't Look Down
Not a bad topic. On account adonis is a fucking moron and actually would chose to write a topical about an entire topical that was already written. "Yeh I want to challenge you guys, and ive been in 49902 topical battles so thats about 83 battles a day for 10 years straight, yeah" stfu idiyote. Deadman still number 1 even after jerking off constantly doing nothing, cool. This should be easy, hey, let me go against this no name. Funny thing is MKG posted a verse of his so that certain could seed him and he's actually last. Lol you fucking suck if certain ranks you last, like you should kill yourself once you hit the 13 range, seriously. Especially you, just kill yourself. Now. Do it.

MKG kill yourself. lmao fucking backwards fucking INITIAL CAPITALIZED YDK fucking gay ass clone. You're useless. Hope you both don't look down on the way down from the golden gate you fucking losers. Lol jk. lol jki wasnt jk. totally serious. But yeah, this 10 line stuff is cool, cause then you can't misinterpret whatever psycho babble deadman usually spews about camels and marlboro blues suck a dick. But this should have a reference about despair, coffee, cigs or describing an obscure crayola color in depth.


8. trap vs. 9. Adonis | Drop Dead Gorgeous
lol. Nice 'drop dead gorgeous' can you say verse about girls that dumped them cause they're anti social fucking WEIRDO FAGGOTS. These guys combined half the ability of about a 21 year old pancake when he first realized he was into men sexually. They're actually seeded pretty well for people that arent going to win anything. If adonis writes like he writes magazines then


12. Badi Alii vs. 5. kannon | Touch the Sky
Fell asleep writing my last prediction. Something about adonis being gay and trap writing about cinderella dildos with a gram of ritalin in his baby bottle. "Touch the sky" Pretty dope. I can see badi alii writing some decent schemes and then completely bombing it writing about vulgars dick. Why would you let him bang you whenever you want? Have you seen me? I'm bb da bb. sexy as FUCKING SHIT. But you won't ever find out cause you're a whore. Kannon possesses some ok mic ability though his beats are louder than he is and hesounds like a fucking ant. I don't know how mediocre mic writing translates into two inch dick topical blitz writing but whatever.


13. jilti vs. 4. NYCSPITZ | Last Call
I would actually choose nycspitz to win this whole thing if he had a better name. lmfao NEW YORK CITY ZPITZ GUYS FUCKING NYC SPITZ I SPITZ NAH MEAN IM A G SPITZ NYC. Get real. You hockey playing fuck. The topic is last call, and it'll probably be the last call both these effeminiate losers got from their masculine dad who forgot to show them any masculinity in their lives so they're writing 10 line poems on a site with a bunch of dudes who smoke marijuana have 25k a year paying jobs and eat cup a noodles raw. Let's be serious, both of these losers are going to no show and nobody will even know they did because they're lame. Predictions: NO SHOW.


3. Split vs. 14. MMLP | Drive Slow
I like the chances split has of winning this. Lord know MMLP is a fucking professional at writing. Lol. Nah, tbh split is going to fucking annihilate this guy. It'll be merciless. The amount of blood spewing from MMLP'S lifeless initialed body will be a spectacle. Perhaps certain can muster up some creative topic ideas after the bloodbath to pick better topics instead of sticking to headlines he read at his mid to low tier journalist web job that gets 28 hits a day. Split 100/0


6. Atheist vs. 11. timeless | Blame Game
You know. I dont really care about this match at all. Like I just yawned reading the entire line. Legit yawned. Yawning right now. Still yawning, typing this. Still yawning. I type pretty fast (140 wpm) holy shit still yawninig. It's like a elongated one (still yawning.) ok stopped. Eyes watery. Oh shit, coming on again, opening my mouth, ok im yawning now, again, this whole post is me yawning, ok wow eyes just watered up, tearing now. Sniffled a bit, wiped my eyes. Fixed my tear ducts. Pushed them in so they made that squishey vagina noise. Checked my phone. Yawned again. wow yawning again as i type this again. Yawning. Ok Who cares.


10. Zen vs. 7. Genocide | Paranoid
This is actually a decent match up. The two OM mods going against each other in a battle of "i mod the lamest section ever" just kidding. The OM is the best section ever. Do we really need 5940353 mods in one section, jesus christ. Everybody knows I'm the real boss in that forum. I own it. I own the chambers, like in 300 where that traitor guy owns the chambers. And he wont let leonidas wife speak only if she fucks him and even then he doesnt. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I fucked them both. These guys are ok, and this is probably the most entertaining battle, of the round. zen 85- geno - whatever.


15. Blanco Bishop vs. 2. Darth Yoda | See You in My Nightmares
This could be ugly. Actually it's pretty certain that Darth Yoda is going to win. He's well liked has a big dick I fucked him and I love him. And blanco is a fucking loser that should no show if he knows whats good for him. Darth is a fucking god, and revered as a legend. I'm revered as a legend because people think thats me, thats how good he is. He makes me a legend by proxy. Who you know is that good? Nobody. He's like me, and doesn't look for accolades, and usually likes playing the field, moreso testing his opponent if anything. A beast at ruzzle, along with bwa, (who pancakes thinks he beat, but it was actually me, but he didnt really beat me, in one round I think my screen froze for about 95% of the round, and in the second round it froze for 1 minute, and he won by about less than 100 points, anyway, pan sucks. idk, I'm not that funny today. Tired. had work. hate working. chair squeaks now, like wtf you squeaking for bitch. Stop squeaking.


1. El Pancake vs. 16. Drunken Master | Lost in the World
idk i like drunken master. He wants to adopt me so i hope he does so i can fuck his wife and steal his money and blame it on my sister if i have one. Which I will. cause i'll make him adopt one if he doesnt have one. so itll be fun and i can fuck my sister too cause shes not even related to me but if she was who cares its not like im 18 and consent im a bb i can do whatever and not get in trouble hey guys i have a gun BANG killed you. Pancake will no show and lose. He's really trash and hasnt gotten better ever sicne HEY IM PANCAKE IM WORKING OUT RIGHT NOW BUT NOT REALLY I REMEMBE RTHE FIRST TIME I BENCHED 275 IWAS LIKE WOW I FEEL STRONG AND THEN HE WA SLIKE HEY IM PANCAKE AND PAN SUP TOP TIER LEL SRS IM BLACKS RS

sRS

Drunken Master wins by no show


8. YDK vs. 9. Mike Wrecka | Everything I Am
Lol the 8 seed vs 9 seed battles are SO FUCKING BORING JESUS. These guys are a snorefest. Literally nothing these guys do have any like impact, ever. Like, if you read ydk's verse in the aowl for the finals you'd be like y did ydk leak my kindergarten writing on nc's? how did this get on here? Like this is so boring that im not even going to f-


12. UnbornBuddha vs. 5. Eŋg | Dark Fantasy
? Dark fantasy, real fucking COOL PHRASES FAGGOT IS THIS ONE OF YOUR STUPID ASS ALBUM COVER LISTS 1-10 FAVORITES THAT TOPLOOKER.COM POSTED IN EVENT OF THE FERGUSON RIOTS NIGGA STFU, I hope none of you show and this tourney can move faster. And cooler less corny/lame battles take place.


13. pharoahsarmy52 vs. 4. Pinot Grij | Welcome to the Jungle
No. Yawning again.


3. Camarac vs. 14. Greed | We Don't Care
LOL. Fucking lars. Let me tell you what lars is going to write, word for word, this is what he's going to write, no joke - I already know. I know how he writes. Formulaic and haphazard as fuck. HOMIE IM KNOWN ON THE NET MAN, SAY MY NAME ON THE NET IM MAD KNOWN, MAN. I'm a legend, people that know people that know me, know me. Shit, nigga you heard of Keyzer Soze? He's in the FUCKING ROOM, when people are talking about how deadly he is and he don't even flinch. That's a real g. You win a winter topical by a fucking hair and you like I WON WINTER TOPICAL I WON WINTER TOPICAL. No disrespect to dead man, but if I didn't fault to an opponent who I think deserves it (granted, I faced zygote, but me and him have a vendetta, so I couldnt let him win) I wouldve taken that road to victory and abolished you. Everybody knows this. I'm just the best, ever. By far. Anyway This is what this nigga going to write. Let's see the topic, ask certain how fast I wrote this, granted I saw his PM about a minute ago, aiight look .LARS VERSE EXTRAORDINAIRE.

whether its anxiety, burden, or something to bother
the fire that burns unnerves the assumption to fodder
nervous. his posture controlled by the incubus phoenix
where ink becomes blood for his pens stimulus, needed
licking the thesis, the final chapter's conundrum
emancipated jesus, and the raptures above us
i'm lar's i write in short, and rhythm abrupt
then my next forced line is in sync with it bruh
i don't really say much, my lines have to have adequate sounds
transition nicely, look for whatever word - wait i gotta aggregate nouns

LARS

But in short, camarac loses.


6. Soulstice vs. 11. Objective | My Way Home
Soulstice loses.


10. King Ra. vs. 7. Diode | All Falls Down
Diode is going to write about himself weighlifting and how his weights all fall down but his knee hurts omg my knee i cant lift bros squat do 39034 lbs naked in my tightsuit pretending to be batman eating a waffle, organic cause watching weight hey guys heres PICTURE OF ME IM DIODE I LIFT WEIGHT OH UPOSTED THAT? THATS SO 2002 I SAW THAT WHEN THE FIRST PERSON EVER POSTED IT IM O THE ITNERNET ALOT HEY GUYS IM DIDOE LOOK AT MY STEAK I EAT STEAK ALL DAY AND LIFT AND LAMB NOT STEAK HEY WITTY Y U CALL PEOPLE A FAGGOT THATS MEAN IM AFAGGOT. WANNA LIFT BROS LMAO REPPED REPPED WHO PUT THAT TAG REPPED. King Ra makes a joke about his 8-0 streak and buttfucks diode. king ra 100-0


15. Defiant vs. 2. oats | New Day
Defiant annihilates oats. 5-0 The first closed battle of the round. Oats can't find his ncihe and starts writing like nik-a and his topicals. Defiant gains critical acclaim. Becomes #1 topicalist. Gets laid for the first time. Has a kid name gestapo. I fuck his kid when it turns 1.



Don't No-Show
CONCLUSION by Certain


You're asked to write 10 lines in a week. Don't fucking no-show. Also, don't expect a magazine this long again from me for a while.


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Old 08-24-2014, 01:10 AM   #2
Vulgar
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Very motivational, and also epic. Thanks for the mention and strong effort.
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:34 AM   #3
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This was super dope.

bb starting to rustle my jimjams. Not really lol. Just a bb.

Very thorough.
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:34 AM   #4
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Excited bros

I don't have a 21st to get obliterated on & miss a crucial deadline this time (shouts to Alias tourney)
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:34 AM   #5
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Dope mag
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:34 AM   #6
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Read half lot a cig an enjoying the last half lol thanks for all the effort guys
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:40 AM   #7
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still listening to the audio mag lol, korean food is quite delicious btw, but excellent mag, appreciate the effort. I feel like an asshole being the only one picking myself in the brackets. THANKS ALL YOU SELF-EFFACING FUCKS
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:47 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oats View Post
still listening to the audio mag lol, korean food is quite delicious btw, but excellent mag, appreciate the effort. I feel like an asshole being the only one picking myself in the brackets. THANKS ALL YOU SELF-EFFACING FUCKS
Lol

Good mag, Certain. Name change to Zen.Land.x25@gmail.gov
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Old 08-24-2014, 02:01 AM   #9
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Great mag. I love certains so cute sexy sexy voice so hot cool twist easier magazines wanna put peen in mouth and make him say my name in butter voice
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Old 08-24-2014, 08:23 AM   #10
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Very well done. I appreciate you taking the time and putting so much effort forth. Respect.

I appreciate the position I'm in, it's literally win win for me haha.
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Old 08-24-2014, 08:57 AM   #11
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This was REALLY well done. Good job everyone. I'll have to listen to that audio later, don't want my gf thinking I'm nerdier than she already thinks I am.
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Old 08-24-2014, 09:01 AM   #12
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This was well done and entertaining to say the least.

I hope some one no shows lol.
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Old 08-24-2014, 09:19 AM   #13
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This is an excellent mag. Repped for the thought and effort put into this. Bravo
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Old 08-24-2014, 12:33 PM   #14
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Awesome mag, I worry for this site if Certain is not around to run the topical side of things, tho I'm sure those stepping up know what they are doing.

Thank you for the kind words, apologies for my inactivity....lack of motivation is a bitch.

This was a great read. Also, repped.
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Old 08-24-2014, 02:11 PM   #15
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ya super dope mag certain


I agree with zyg at number one
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Old 08-24-2014, 02:13 PM   #16
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brilliant

predictions are right. i will not win this tournament. unless i am matched up against oats every round. which is unlikely
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Old 08-24-2014, 03:11 PM   #17
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Listened to the audio portion. Gone @ acorn Anika and Split.

Good stuff.
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Old 08-24-2014, 03:16 PM   #18
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The audio section was the best part. I literally lol'd at pharoahsarmy52 part.
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Old 08-24-2014, 03:23 PM   #19
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obscure crayola color

lol fuck.
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Old 08-24-2014, 03:38 PM   #20
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@Certain

Please explain the Aero-Veritas audio to me.

This is troubling.
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