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Old 07-13-2013, 12:11 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by Animosi T View Post
You're a nobody, don't act like you America's Idol, the crowd won't budge
Because you're not going anywhere like Simon is your only judge
This was alright for a general punch, but you're supposed to be using his name to insult HIM, not someone else.
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Old 07-13-2013, 12:14 PM   #62
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@Cakedout @Animosi T

You're gonna want to make 3 punches like you were actually text battling those 4 dudes. The entire OP has in-depth instructions worth checking out. Storytellers punches toward dirty Harry, Simon cowel and dirty Harry is a good model to use

Edit: damn you and your more concise posts, knuck
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Old 07-13-2013, 02:47 PM   #63
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@Sharp Nine @Knucklehead

Dirty Harry
Simon Cowell
Eric Foreman


Zero bitches for you!!! - lie, cheat n steal to get a floozy to fall
& still we wouldnt see a 'Dirty pull'... EVEN with a roofie involved

Ur ballin atta snails pace - broken jalopy that lookin the pits
I mean, just watch S. car go... hes behind it pushin the whip

Wet limbs w/ the shotty, then aim to ya brim n say sorry
i'd air ric for kicks, then watch House try to breathe life back into his body
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Old 07-13-2013, 04:39 PM   #64
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Lol..... @Sharp Nine Knucks always precise
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Old 07-13-2013, 04:40 PM   #65
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Like the dirty Harry and s. Cargo punch @Utmost

Where is ur Tyler the creator punchline??
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Old 07-14-2013, 02:05 AM   #66
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Exstacy, LD50, have eric dumb ass thrown out the house
Cant handle his shit, only thing E Foreman is foam at the mouth


Coward wit a weak bladder, dude wouldnt take one gun to scare
Fighting style dirty, harry saw arms n soiled his underwear


Dude creates wack shit, wit a crowbar still couldnt get win leverage
If a bitch wants TC cock, tail trynna buy that gin beverage


This American Idle, Cowell too daft for a challenge - fact:
Any bitch that Sim pull would have to be exactly that

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Old 07-14-2013, 11:15 AM   #67
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Your shittyname wont make you popular,better of cleanin it b
Only people who heard of dirt reached for a sponge immediatel/
you ain't openin eyes wide as owls, cuz your lame ass more colon than powell
assumed ur A lazy jamaican farmer cuz "Si,mon, cow well"/sigh mon cow well
Beef I cook up and put to the grills quicker than a manhattan doorman
Especially since your name explains your views on sexuality since eric foreman
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Old 07-16-2013, 11:40 PM   #68
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@Sharp Nine @Knucklehead

Dirty Harry
Simon Cowell
Eric Foreman


Zero bitches for you!!! - lie, cheat n steal to get a floozy to fall
& still we wouldnt see a 'Dirty pull'... EVEN with a roofie involved
This was good


Ur ballin atta snails pace - broken jalopy that lookin the pits
I mean, just watch S. car go... hes behind it pushin the whip
Wording was real shitty, good idea though. The connection was just weak and poorly delivered but the nameplay itself is cool. Played, but for practice punches it's cool.


Wet limbs w/ the shotty, then aim to ya brim n say sorry
i'd air ric for kicks, then watch House try to breathe life back into his body
Kind of odd wording again. Air Ric could have used better. Cool idea again though. This is jsut for nameplays, wording will come later so for the purpose of this you did good.

There ya go, thanks for doing this unlike SOME PEOPLE
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Old 07-16-2013, 11:49 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by Ronic View Post
Exstacy, LD50, have eric dumb ass thrown out the house
Cant handle his shit, only thing E Foreman is foam at the mouth
Nah. Idk why people are using the whole name Foreman for the punches, I put it there for the dissected ones tbh. Wording was bad and the concept wasn't really harsh.

Coward wit a weak bladder, dude wouldnt take one gun to scare
Fighting style dirty, harry saw arms n soiled his underwear
You used his name, but didn't insult him with it. The first part "fighting style Dirty" doesn't make sense really. Here is a good way this could have been used...

You're a weak faggot, in the ring you won't last w/ hands a glance
If I'm ever Fighting Dirty.. he'll have to do THAT to even stand a chance

Make both the nameplay segment AND the connection create an insult directed at him. Yours was just a generic really the way you delivered it. Also adding "style" before Dirty threw off the wording.


Dude creates wack shit, wit a crowbar still couldnt get win leverage
If a bitch wants TC cock, tail trynna buy that gin beverage
Wording was okayish, also iffy when you split the wordplay into both parts of the punch. Not bad though.

This American Idle, Cowell too daft for a challenge - fact:
Any bitch that Sim pull would have to be exactly that
You have to use segments when dissecting so they match up with how the name is pronounced in full. Sy min not Sim un. So this is forced. IF it wasn't though it'd be cool. Good idea just doesn't work on his name.
..
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Old 07-16-2013, 11:53 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by CymbiCort View Post
Your shittyname wont make you popular,better of cleanin it b
Only people who heard of dirt reached for a sponge immediately
This was cool. Try not to make your set up line longer than your second though. Also could have use the set up a lot better. You're suggesting people feel dirty thinking of him the way you did the first half of your punch, so the first line set up you should have mentioned that and built up to it.

you ain't openin eyes wide as owls, cuz your lame ass more colon than powell
assumed ur A lazy jamaican farmer cuz "Si,mon, cow well"/sigh mon cow well
This didn't make sense. To jumbled.

Beef I cook up and put to the grills quicker than a manhattan doorman
Especially since your name explains your views on sexuality since eric foreman
For man doesn't really work. For men would make sense but yeah. Okay idea but it just doesn't work. Can't make shit reach, if it doesn't work don't use it.
...
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Old 07-17-2013, 05:10 AM   #71
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@Knucklehead
You didn't get back to me so here's 3 quick uns.

Dirty Harry
I don't take - I give; cus unlike you I aint no faggy twat!
So if im in a Hurry..... its just to get the dirt of my back

Tyler the Creator
His concepts are wobbling...his wording is a slur of shit!
at text im a Typist < an we think this when you write bitch

Eric Foreman
I got mad game, bitches love my moves when I attack
Hes got no game yet Foreplay with no experience of that
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Old 07-17-2013, 09:47 AM   #72
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I thought your first two came off forced, really disliked Typist and I dislike even more that you capitalise the first letters of them. I get to the point of the wordplay and just know where it's going, almost instantly, I don't even need to get to the end of the line to get the punch, in my head I've already riddled it which ruins them completely for me. They're too predictable I think.

Maybe don't word them all the same way?

Maybe keep the wordplay until the end of the line?

I dunno.

I'll need to think of examples to better explain. Foreplay was your best though of those I read.
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:00 AM   #73
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@Lars - It was rushed and done half arsed to complete the sign up challenge... I did already question if I need do it but I got no response.

But cheers anyways..
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:14 AM   #74
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@Knucklehead
You didn't get back to me so here's 3 quick uns.

Dirty Harry
I don't take - I give; cus unlike you I aint no faggy twat!
So if im in a Hurry..... its just to get the dirt of my back

Tyler the Creator
His concepts are wobbling...his wording is a slur of shit!
at text im a Typist < an we think this when you write bitch

Eric Foreman
I got mad game, bitches love my moves when I attack
Hes got no game yet Foreplay with no experience of that
Hurry/harry is forced as fuck and twat/back don't rhyme. Fuck wrong with you, boy?

Typist ain't that bad, actually. Every once in a while even the sun shines on a dog's ass.

Foreplay was worded bizarre. Good concept, bad execution.

I also disagree with Lars on capitalizing THOSE particular wordplays only for the reason that they are the names of the people. If they were just regular words or something (not proper nouns) then it would make more sense not to capitalize them.
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:19 AM   #75
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@Knucklehead @Sharp Nine @Beyond judge my bars the page before this
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:20 AM   #76
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lol @Beyond you claim your not bitter on that vote but have literally hounded anything of mine you can give an opinion on - dude let it go
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:23 AM   #77
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Too late. You're the Sharp Nine to my Pancakebrah at this point.

Either leave or endure a living hell the rest of your Netcees existence, pussy.
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:24 AM   #78
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Come at me son ;)
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:26 AM   #79
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I'll allow the nameplay thing, still not a fan of the capitalisation though, anyone with an I.Q above R!can Theoryz could work out the intention.

Typist doesn't even work both ways though, WTF Bey?
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:29 AM   #80
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Word

I was reading it Ty pissed, ain't that the slang y'all use for getting drunk? lmao

And yeah, I tend to not capitalize my concepts like that anymore other than proper nouns
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