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Old 05-08-2016, 11:15 AM   #1
Adonis
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34


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Default The Mag V10: The Point Of No Return

~The Mag V10: The Point Of No Return~


~Intro~

Hello Ladies and Assholes. This Mag is brought to you by none other then yours truly and Master Asylum accompanied by Breathless on the writers block. It does not feature @timeless though he said he would help out, he sadly did not. I don't think you guys fully understand how long it takes to write a full length mag, I don't always have the time, and I know Asylum does not either. I would love to see some of you step up and offer to help with either Reviews or Predictions, anything really, anytime you want. This is your league, we want it to succeed, but we need help, this is true. I won't let it die, but it's not shock if I say the league has hit a bit of a lull as of late, so help Asylum and I bring it back to form.



~Feature Artist:L’Orange~



L’Orange is a member of the “Mello Music Group”. He’s a producer like I’ve never heard before. His catalog has the oldest feeling vibe using a mosh of samples from Film, Soul and Synth. His albums are complete stories that are told by either rappers such as Kool Keith, Blu or Jeremiah Jae, or he’ll tell a story allowing samples to take you on a ride. I’ve never heard anything else like this guy, one of my favorite producers ever, not just because he doesn’t make bad music, but because it’s soul on wax with a topical twist. This dude is too dope, enjoy.







~Week 9 Battle Reviews~
Produced By: Asylum




Asylum vs. NYCSPITZ(by Adonis)

NYC ran away with the victory in the end, but it was closer then votes seemed. They wrote eerily similar verses which is why the voting was not close. NYC wrote about a portal that led him to a cafe in another dimension of sorts, while Asylum wrote about a boys memories with his grandfather fishing off a peer. They were similar because each went to a different land, one was more sci-fi and nearly lost my vote because of it. But, NYC just has the rare ability to write clean stories with mechanics that never really falter. I know Asylum struggled with his topic and waited last minute to write, which can be a good thing, and though he didn’t write a bad verse, it takes much more to get to a contenders match where you beat NYC to get there. This was a good battle, but one competitor was not at full force and voters saw through that veil.


Cereal_Killer vs Innovator


CK started to put a story together, but came up a little short. I hope you’re okay buddy, worried about you. The piece did not rhyme, had no clear storyline, and failed to establish any plot. Characters were introduced, but I’m not sure what was going on with them. Innovator’s story was an eloquently spoken narrative which ended with the main character asking a lady to dance with him, and she accepted! Good for him. His explanation of the dance floor was overwhelming and there some good imagery throughout his piece. It’s no mystery why Inno took it last week, CK’s piece was not fully developed. I’m hoping to see more of his olds chool stuff, in case any of you do not know.. he’s usually a top tier writer.


Adonis vs Razah


Adonis wrote a story about the husband of an assassin! Very creative piece, indeed. His approach at the topic was quite literal. I’m paying close attention to the flow of his piece here, as we’ve been conversing about it lately. His syllable counts and line progression were carefully tuned instruments in his topical orchestra. Layout can be really important and it’s value is often underestimated. I truly enjoyed how he eased from the piece’s pinnacle into the outro with this clever play on words,

Quote:
Originally Posted by adonis
Saying goodbye’s never fun, now imagine not being certain of a return
The real fatigues in my soul, it’s the worrying and wishing that spurns
How could this gentle being produce death with the tips of each hand?
How can two eyes as soft as those watch a bullet enter a man?
She just can’t be contained, she’s angelic and bane
Wild yet tame, silent but “POPS!” off in a brain
That’s great writing people! I was definitely impressed with his piece. Razah also came full force, with a beautiful story about how he feels about being a father to a daughter. If he doesn’t have kids, I would be stupefied.. the emotion in his word choices is glaring here,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Razah
I've gained so much, I don't miss the life that I've lost
You could be besides me & still reside in my thoughts
For every day that I breathe my awe just increases
It's true a tear from your eyes can break my heart into pieces
When I reach, you reach right back, you belong in every dream I have
I've seen your first steps; it's only right you see my last
I’ve been waiting for Razah to step up to the plate and write a piece like this, it wasn’t a fictional story but it was his. I truly appreciate that man. Great work here. You continuously impress me. The piece was brief, but it really tugged on our heartstrings. That gave him the V last week 5-1, in what I felt was a much closer battle. Had I voted, it would have been a terribly hard choice for me to make.






Breathless vs Frank



I enjoyed his choice to align his page to the write and start out with the first line, “see you on the other side.” That made me happy. Breathless brings creativity in a truly unique way and having him competing in this league is a blessing. I’m usually a little critical of topical chorus, but I enjoyed the effect here. These were my favorite lines, oddly enough,

Quote:
Originally Posted by breathless
I've been bruised, and broken, abused and outspoken.
So quiet at times when I choose to not close off
the muse who don't know that my poet's mind views em,
'cause if they do find out my focus, then it ruins the moment.
So much truth in these words, obviously from the heart. I know exactly what thought process you’re describing here and it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I liked the carpe dieme line very much as well and that stanza’s mechanics had a tilted feeling to them I enjoyed.
Frank really went hard last week. I may double quote but for anyone who didn’t read his piece, check this out..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank
The horns blare sends shock wave sirens: resonating reminder
The 18 wheeler burns rubber, shedding its scathing tires
The pavements fire - this route cuts through vast drought that plagues and drains desires
Tumbleweeds and angry vipers slither along the interstate divider
Wow! Frank’s definitely my favorite writer at the moment. His style is his alone and if he keeps progressing, we may never see him lose another battle again. I’m looking forward to watching him champ this season. Man this piece got really dark, but the rhymes throughout were great. I think the subject matter near the end might have hurt him when the votes came in, and Breathless took this one 5-1.


Adverse vs MMLP


MMLP wrote a great piece about Prince, I never knew he got slighted and must have been on the charts with MJ at the same time. Great piece of historical non-fiction here. I’ve never seen MMLP in full form, to be honest. I knew he was a great story writer but he’s really showing his true colors here and gearing up for a run at the champ. This is some quality writing here,

Quote:
Originally Posted by MMLP
Telling him MJ is the best, so all this writings for nothing.
So the best way to address it is with mindless assumptions
that were highlighted in public spats when questioned by press.
Obvious signs of begrudging and his mental strength was assessed.
So in desperate attempts, more and more tours were announced.
He let it get to his head and worked himself more in the ground.
But in his prime, his form was renowned, even the floor and seats were moving
for him the roar of the crowd should have been the sweetest music.
I’m going to have to listen to some more of his albums, I never really got into him. The fact MMLP inspired me to do that is a testament to his abilities as an author. Great work.
Adverse went full blast last week and wrote a story about an actor who actually committed suicide in front his audience, but they thought it was just part of the play. There were a few holes in the plot, like, nobody would have noticed? Where was the crew? Including some little tidbits of him laying off his entire cast the day before and setting it all up alone would have made this 100% flawless. But I’m not upset about it at all, and really enjoyed this man. You’re improving by leaps and bounds, I look forward to your piece each week. I just know you like feedback so you got it. That’s my only gripe. Everything else is great, but these lines really amazed me..

Quote:
Originally Posted by adverse
So I turn my seats towards the pondering eyes of the crowd
Confused by it all dying down, the violence subsiding and then POW!
The plot thickens as I run a blade across my scarred wrists n'
Blood drips, wonder how they'd react knowing this was nonfiction?
That I was about to fall victim to the monster that was supposed to stay hidden
Scarlet tears rain from my vein in sorrow for my vain existence
The audience stands amazed, applauding my insane depiction
Of their maimed protagonist, floored with an agonized face
I reach forward as the drapes close, the final act of the play…
Amazing work from adverse, I can’t sing his praises enough. Thank you. MMLP did write a great verse but he was bested by Adverse in the eyes of their audience and he took it 4-1. Good luck in the champ match next week, bud!






Timeless vs Artifice


Artifice wrote a piece last week and called it, “only 32.” It was about an elderly gentleman in an old-folks home and his daydreams. He told an honest tell and wove it well. It flowed effortlessly and wasn’t lacking in mechanics at all, but wasn’t as maniacally unrelenting as he can be. It was a nice change, actually. This was an exceptionally well executed portion of his piece,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Artifice
on these roads with memories each moment seems heavenly
revisiting each year because in one he knows he'll be seventy
old & decrepit with bad knees, used to needing a cane
here he's young & spry with much delight in the scenery change
skippin' rocks on the pond where summer's spent until twelve
caught a glimpse of lost innocence in his younger reflection of self
the ripple effect carried him through his adolescent years
where a second set of ears helped to better hear the lessons reared
relives his scholarships to college... a good job's the result
fresh pressed suits & ties since the first time he's called an adult
The daydream was a nice touch and definitely was an important part of the piece, adding to the character development immensely and truly making you think. I know I’ll be there one day and this piece reminds me I have to always be as patient as humanly possible with the elderly, they deserve the respect for making it this far. Life’s tough, this piece vouches for that fact. Timeless dropped very short considering this was a title match, he must have been low on time or motivation. Long runs can do that to you. Although brief, his piece was definitely high quality. The footsies bit at the end made me laugh a little bit, I’m not sure if I liked or disliked it but it did have an effect worth mentioning. Timeless started great but definitely could have taken it farther, and his audience agreed giving the Championship Title to Artifice. Congratulations!








Official Season Six Records

Signed In: (RECORD)

1. *Artifice (6-1) .857
2. *Timeless (6-2) .750
3. Frank (6-3) .666
4. Mr. J (5-4) .555
5. Breathless (4-2) .666
6. Adverse (4-0) 1
7. Razah (4-3) .571
8. NYCSPITZ (3-0) 1
9. MMLP(3-2) .600
10. Adonis (3-4) .428
11. Unborn Buddah (2-3) .400
12. Innovator (2-3) .400
Jesodist (2-6) .250
Witty (0-0)
Cereal Killer (0-2)
Tyson (0-0)

Signed Out:
Just Write (6-2)
2tripple0 (5-3)
Asylum (5-4)
Symetrik (3-5)
VividlyVague (3-4)
Unborn Buddah (2-3)
Alice White (2-2)
Echo (2-2)
Pinot Grij (2-4)
ZeeDee (1-2)


* Earned Automatic Playoff Bid For In-Season Champion






~Playoff Implications & Notes~


So here, you can start to see playoff spots disappear. Pretty much 6 wins will get you in regardless. But if people like @Just Write @2tripple0 and even @Vividlyvague sign back in then others will be knocked down. I’m guessing for now, but it’s a safe bet that the median, or bare minimum amount of wins to even be considered for playoffs would be 5 wins. The dust will clear up as we inch closer, I just wanted all to have a better view of things to game plan on what they need to maximize potential of making it to post season. We are currently in week 10 of 16 weeks. @Pinot Grij @ZeeDee @Echo

A few Rules Reminders
  • 12-14 participants will make playoffs
  • The Top Seeds will get a first Round Bye
  • Automatic Playoff Bids
    1. In-Season Champion
    2. Competes 14 out of 16 Weeks and votes each week
  • 16 week season
  • Record based with participation incentive

This is a very important one. Allow me to explain. Say at the end of our 16 week regular season writer A ends up with a 6-1 record and writer B ends up with a 6-6 record. Technically writer A has the better record, but because we want to promote participation, writer B would be given the higher seed as long as he didn't no-show or fail to vote. However, writer C at 5-8 does not have a better record then writer A at 6-1 because he has one less win, which is the ultimate goal. I hope this is clear to you guys, I tried.


Tie-Breakers
  • Overall Wins
  • Head to Head Record
  • Voter Tally (Calculate all votes and see who had the better %)
  • Record vs. Playoff Field


Note: Any participant who disputes their record in chat will be ignored. Record disputes are to be sent in private messages to Asylum with titles containing the text, "Record Dispute."




~Writers Block~
Adonis

Breathless




What’s up my brother? Looks like we're writing one of these together. Where to start? I began writing strictly poetry decades ago. Started competitive topical writing many many years later. Originally from bboys then project rhyme, now I reside here. I feel like poetical nuance via imagery and detailed description is what drives topicals to becoming victorious. Give me a quick background and your beliefs on what it truly takes to be elite



Right on, so yea, I grew up a rebel stoner white goth kid who wrote poetry and listened to death metal, briefly being a vocalist in a middle school garage band that only lasted half a year. When I got to high school I met an eclectic group of dropouts who would hang at one's house who parents didn't give a shit. It was the hangout spot and we sold weed, often times there'd be some of our homies freestyling, they urged me to join, jokingly, I was still gothy, I spit one of my old death metal songs like a rap style and they fucking loved it for some reason. That was around the late nineties/early 2000s, i thought they were playing at first, i mean, I was rapping about like demons and inner turmoil and they were on the gangster rap shit, but as time went on I fell in love with the feeling of rapping, asked them why they like my shit and I remember one dude who was the most prominent of the group, he had amazing flow and rhymes, lyrics were mundane, but yea, he said "it doesn't matter what you're saying, it's how you're saying it, you can make it make sense to smart people and also sound sick to these dummies"

That's when I truly started to develop my own style, studied it like math, broke down beats into numbers and realized that pretty much all the beats are the same, 4/4, 4/8, whatever, even even even, always even. But you can make a 2 line 4/4 become a 3 line/rhyme 3/3/2. I would obsess over that shit, writing to perfection, mostly while on adderall, but it was too perfect and vocabulary laden it was just too much for most people.
As I am now, I focus on what is done with the words, the rhyme, the flow, the build up and suspenseful breaking of quick rifts and pauses, etc. far more than the traditional story telling side. I either end up coming off corny sounding with generic sets and settings and character arcs, or too cerebral, so I tend to just write whatever comes out, it's like my brain does a weird Bing search and relates things in the most unusually relatably way.








I clicked on your page a couple days back and there's a b photo of you, you Def don't look hip hop bro. Goth though? I guess I could've assumed, but that's a strange, off the beaten path start to this topical shit man. Glad you made all the way over. You do have an interesting style, it's very rhyme heavy, which is usually good but at times, not you specifically, but in general, will lead to trouble with rhyming for the sake of flow over telling a solid story.

I was a break dancer back in the day, so this shit was ingrained in my make up. How do you keep motivation? For me, this is just something I really enjoy doing, but given my record right now I must be doing something wrong, though I know I've had a tough path on purpose. In any case, it's not so much motivation for me, cause I would write with out this league, it's more, the ability to keep blinders on. Feed kills me sometimes, the negative that is. But I honestly take bits of certain people's suggestions and incorporate that next week. Does criticism help or hinder your writing, and does a loss truly get to you? Or can you just move forth without caring?





Yea, definitely an odd course that led me here, but I think that's what keeps me interested, I've been doing rap music stuff since around 2000 and it's usually just writing about whatever comes to mind, something I would still do even if no one paid attention. You can't let the negativity of criticism get to you though, the way I see it, even if they're being assholes about it, there's probly some good points hiding behind the hate. I've never been competitive though, so regardless of how I perform to the public it won't get in my head. I try not to pander to the norm or force my style, rarely will you see an actual story from me. With the internet thing it's easier to separate my ego though, do you do audio at all, or just mainly writing?




I have never recorded anything other then random freestyles in a studio setting. Though, I do have something like 20 tracks fully ready to be recorded with beats and all, I'm just lazy. One day I will get around to it, but until then, they'll just collect dust. My brother is a pretty good producer and he has a fully functional and upgraded studio, he lives right down the road, but when I go there I usually just fuck with his samples and make beats. That shit is probably the only thing I enjoy more then writing topical. It's fun and so easy, where as constructing something with words is much much more difficult. I used to live in a suburb of Detroit by the way, nice little neighborhood. My bro actually went to Highschool with Eminem and that movie was mad fabricated. Thought I'd throw that in, you like Hockey? People are serious about their Hockey in Michigan right?


That's all we got time for now, gotta post this shit at some point.


Lmao, yea, didn't realize it went on that long until I reread it. I don't follow hockey much, the fights are fun to watch, but yea, sporty michiganians are more concerned about the u of m / msu rivalry, or hunting, or potholes...

Nice meeting you on a slightly more personal angle







~Week 10 Predictions~


Championship Match: (Champion) Artifice (5-1) vs Adverse (4-0)


First off, congratulations to artifice for receiving the elusive crown. I must admit that I am not really familiar with either of your works. I haven’t read much of anything from either of you so this is sort of a shot in the dark from me. Most of my knowledge of you comes from the feed you give me, with that said, artifice tends to drops these short one paragraph votes which to me means he procrastinates and doesn’t put much thought into them. Adverse hasn’t voted on my battles much, but he did once and it was very thorough. So with that said, I’m picking Adverse in a close clash. Adverse 53%


Contendership Match: NYCSPITZ (3-0) vs Breathless (4-2)


This battle is interesting to me because I think that Breath might be on a long run of wins mixed in with a few loses. He has the style that is hitting right now, people seem to enjoy it more then in the past. NYC on the other hand is who he is. A top tier writer, very consistent and is a beast in terms of mechanics and writing stories in general. To me, NYC is the better writer, but Breath can pull out stops now and again, over exceeding while his competitor over looks him, sort of a perfect storm. So yes, I think he can pull it out, but I also think NYC is peeking right now, which might be too early for the post season in all honesty. I look for Breath to go story and NYC to try and go more topical but still ends up writing a story of sorts.

NYC 65%







Timeless (6-2) vs Frank (6-3)


Rematch from just a couple weeks back if I’m not mistaken. Frank has been hit or miss for me this season, seems like he hasn’t had the proper amount of time to write his usual shit. Time on the other hand, well his name is very ironic. It seems like you lack Time in writing and go even shorter at times, and these are the few loses you have in all honesty. I would love to see you write a full length verse, I’m just not sure if this will ever happen. Frank will likely kill you with his massive syllable and word counts per line. You did beat him not too long ago, so I guess we’ll see. While I think Time’s had the better season so far, I still think Frank might be the better writer, but just barely. With all this said, I think Frank might have that red in his eyes and want that revenge.

Frank 51%


BOTW
MMLP (3-2) vs Razah (4-3)


This is my favorite pairing of the week easily. Razah is coming off of victory over me in which I was completely shut out, but he did write about daughters again, and that was the third time I can recall such a verse from him, where I wrote something I never had before. See how I get my shots in? No matter, MMLP has been rather inconsistent. It’s not that he drops poor verses, it’s that he’ll drop some top tier verses mixed in with some just OK verses. Razah is mad consistent on the other hand, it will be a fun and short read to say the least. I think MMLP will come out swinging this week, looking for that win as he starts the climb back to the top. But Raz don’t lose often, I’m basically talking myself into a 50/50 split here in all honesty. This really could go either way, the real prediction is how good and close the match will be, because that’s firmly at 100%. Personally I prefer MMLP style over Razz, but I think the majority is not with me.

Razah 51%







Mr. J (5-4) vs Adonis (3-4)


Fuck this kid, haven’t seen the topic and I plan on writing something more serious. At least I don’t have to worry about you dumb ass votes that are not constructive criticism at all, more just a verse that rhymes.


UnbornBuddha (2-3) vs Innovator (2-3)

Ohhh, this will be one of my favorite reads. The past couple weeks Inno has dropped decent reads, it’s shit that I like but also realize it’s not for everyone. Buddha is that dude though, so versatile. Vator will likely write his usual, a bit shorter then the normal verse, but jam packed with meaning and knowledge. He has been known to blow me away with conceptual works shut as your glass house verse from last season or so. This is what you will need to win as Buddha will drop his typical hard to beat verse filled with substance, wordy as hell and just overall as solid as they come. I look forward to reading this and can’t wait.

Buddha 66%


Jesodist (2-6) vs Witty (0-0)


Witty swears up and down that he’s turned the corner, we’ll see. Asylum and I have been giving him some tough love, basically trying to light a fire under your ass, hopefully it works. Jesodist has penned some solid verses mixed in with subpar or mediocre works. I think he’s still a season or two away from truly being able to compete at a high level, but he has the skill to get there. Witty has been out of competition for a long while, and Jesodist seems to actually be coming on his own of late. So this will be closer then most think, but Witty really can be in a league of his own if has the desire.

Witty 70%








Cereal Killer (0-2) vs Tyson (0-0)


WTF CK, I hope you can get back to even the same continent of normalcy so I can vote on this. Tyson has been MIA for huge spurts, he says he wants to write, and hopefully he does. CK, when writing his older more suitable style, is a monster. Tyson can write very good verses, but not at the most consistent level. As long as Tyson can execute his concept even at 70% capacity he will get the win given Ck’s new found style that is easily the least voter friendly style I’ve ever read in my life.

Tyson 80%




~Week 9 No Show Shine~


Wear Shhh - I feel like a lame for catching this reference, but it was a clean one that leaned son… [Aero the] “Type of nigga to hit his own parents & use a master ball on a Ratata” Decent disses in there, I liked the Dagle line as well. This is in the wrong forum though bro, kind of like a breath of fresh air though. If this were a battle, you had two good and one decent diss, the rest seemed more filler than anything. Good flow though G.

Mr. J - Cool bottom third, when the imagery/action really picked up. In the beginning though, the rhymes didn’t hit as hard as they should, I noticed the slant rhymes, but even those weren’t precise. Solid verse, nothing special though honestly. Would have been tough pressed for wins over the better verses this week.







~Outro~


Well I hope you enjoyed the read, I have noticed that one the past three mags there have been maybe 4 people each time that actually commented saying thank you or the like. I don't read mags that I don't make, so I don't mind, but if these things aren't being read you can save the mod staff something like 10hours a week, which is what it takes, to write a mag. Either way, lets gear up for that playoff push as it is here. The Field won't change much, just the seedings, so get yours.

















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Last edited by Adonis; 05-08-2016 at 11:37 AM.
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Old 05-08-2016, 12:17 PM   #2
Artifice
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Good work guys...
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Old 05-08-2016, 12:18 PM   #3
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excellent thank you.
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Old 05-08-2016, 01:26 PM   #4
Inno
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Definitely a good read hope buddha shows
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Old 05-08-2016, 05:08 PM   #5
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Good read, definitely always willing to help with the mag. asylum had asked me to write no show shine a couple weeks ago but the only battle with no shows was in the same battle so there wasn't much to write about. I've grown attached to this league though and would love to help. Thanks for devoting the time to write these they're always great to read.
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Old 05-08-2016, 11:54 PM   #6
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excellent mag bros
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Old 05-10-2016, 03:08 AM   #7
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Excellent! Thanks for all the work.
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Old 05-10-2016, 08:02 PM   #8
Razah
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Location: Chicago.
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Champed
- Art of Writing League

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The point of no return?? So dramatic ya'll.


And, excellent!! Lol
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Old 05-13-2016, 05:11 AM   #9
asylum
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New Rule starting in Week 11

The number of votes you're missing in a week will be reflected negatively on your vote tally of that week.

Meaning, if you win by 2 votes one week then miss three out of three votes that week, you will lose your battle by one vote.
@Adonis thank you for the mag bro. Rest easy this week. I appreciate your time and effort, very nice work.
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