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Old 07-02-2019, 09:01 PM   #1
Sharp
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Default Week 1 Mag feat. Clout

Intro

What's good netcees? Sharp here standing in the ashes of Incredible's soul and just like last time, I come to you with a league. The goal here is a real departure from what I'm used to. Wanna keep it light and fun, while still having hallmark components of any serious league. Low effort formatting so I can focus on content and not spend precious free hours of my week on a text mag. I'm glad we have people taking advantage of the 6 line min - either to be laid back or strategically - because I haven't seen one like that in awhile. Anyway, let's get to it…





Rules and Ranking System

Alright, the name of the game here is chill. You probably saw the 6 line minimum by now, and that is not a typo. I want everyone to drop as dope as possible, obviously, so I'll be sure to keep that in mind for matchups, but this is the summer league. Laid back and shit.

This league’s point system is a synthesis of the SOL and 1-2, adapted for this setting. I’ll stick to (record difference) x 2, but will also deduct a point after the equation for each NS win/loss. This basically makes NS wins worth half a point and each NS loss worth a loss and a half. I hate to penalize someone no-showed multiple times, but I always end up valuing a win by votes over NS, so the formula makes it transparent.

I won’t be using the vote differential, because I like to close one-sided battles early to push votes towards battles that need it. That said, if we end up with some exact ties for contender matches, I will defer to the following tiebreakers:

-If one person has no-showed but the other has not, the one without the NS has priority
-Wins by KO vs Split decision. I would factor percentages in at this point because I close battles at my discretion and would likely cut off once someone has a 4 vote lead (meaning, you win 5 votes to 1, it's with 80% of the vote, while 6 to 2 is 75%, etc.). This is a doomsday scenario for tiebreaker tbh.

If we somehow end up with a tie after these are factored in, bleak will kill himself


Discord screenshot of the Week

So much shit has happened there that is like disc in the 21st century, times 10. Highlights include:




Previews by Clout


Diablo vs Killing Spree

60/40 Lars


Its The Lit Brit Repping the Manc whose crumpet deep in ur skank. Lars wants to make Kill spree's physical well being resemble the women in the porno's Lar's relishes - Sadistically maimed. While Kill spree says fuck that noise while wearing a Marky mark hockey jersey complete with a deluxe scooby doo lunch box. Did i mention he's rocking a helmet of blue bayous terribly over gelled hair? Spree would go straight for the kill. But he's so intoxicated his eyes are more crossed than the yellow lines are by j walking pedestrians in Philly. Kill spree only hope is to beat the lars barbs fist into submission by using his face (yep, no defense) utilizing that retard strength.


Blue Bayou vs INF

60/40 Blue


INF called me last night on Instagram. He said he has an elite deck of sweet magic the gathering cards. That will annihilate the wordplay sorcery of the man Who has all the Hologram Digimon cards in Narnia. Can the guy with a swamp in his name aka the Baton rouge stooge leave INF unscrewed? or Will the Scrabble Babble Inf-ster pull off the unheard 100 letter word to win this battle? Whose 12 year old acne faced virgin self will come out lonelier? All the Dictionaries & Thesaurus's known will be front row & center for this epic nerdfest. While all the vagina will be no where in sight of this ungodly geek-a-thon. Who will out Wit who??


Hush vs Crash Carson

100 Hush

The San Juan Blam god, The Mandingo from Santo Domingo. He'll make ya neck snap faster than a fat bitch sitting on a can of pringles. Then you have...well, Crash carson the failed sibling of carson daily from TRL alumni. Crash made some haters as of late. The feedback of his lack of punchlines with alot of "" '' @$$%** for wordplay decorations left him bitter. Hush is a cemented legend who will leave carson feet cemented and sinking in an ocean that'll become a legend to trll future NC generations. I read carson shit he has some basics. But Hush is probably going to beat the fucking shit out of you. Then back into you. Also ebing the green thumb he is. He'll use ur left overs to fertilize & make a community garden for underachieving youths in a poor Brooklyn neighborhood to take pride in. Good on you Hush, good on you.


Slechtq vs Master Rock

50/50

I don't know these individuals. But i will stay tuned for their battle. Will the Rock Deliver the netcees Elbow to the weird german named guy?!??! DUn DUn Dun


Cred vs Ryno

60/40 cred


Creds more polished than Ryno, but ryno can beat him. Cred The man Who dodges the Feds Needs to show up and come correct. Ryno is a dark horse, yes literally he is a dark skinned black man who hates all light skinned people. So im rooting for the fellow light skinned man. Cause ryno is mean and a jerk with the bars. Ryno is the kind of guy who eats all of your Cheeze-itz, and puts the box back into the cabinet all neatly packaged like it wasnt touched. He's that kind of an asshole - the unforgivable one. But Cred is in Chi-raq where dem thanggggs raaaang baby. He played tic toe on the block with twistas baby momma as a younging. He aint ever scurrrrred. He well learned on the rules on how to say fuck you in witty way with the bars. Can cred think of fresh ways to shoot ryno with words or will Ryno pull a wesley snipes & kill G money (new Jack city yall) and bring victory to all the dark skinned brothas!?!?!


Zuo vs Wanderer

70/30 For the Half Colombian Colonizing Gun slinger


in this verbal boxing match. We have Zelph Aka The man who only needs half a mouth guard. The ever Untanning Gun blamming El blanchito gringo Who despises the Lingo of Puerto rico. He's The Colombian Ankle Biter standing at chiwawa tall and about anorexic on a carb loading day wide. He comes with guns so big....he needs a booster seat on top of his booster seat to reach em' feel me!?!? Wanderer is named after a 1950's hit song, i think? I dont know thats an American culture thing. Wanderer is gonna need a booster seat on top of a booster seat on top of a guess what guys??!?! A BOOSTER SEAT TO STAND a TOP OF THE COLOMBIAN FLEA. Zelph will make your mouth look like his if u dare make a wise crack about it.


John Dillinger vs Defiant

I guess john because he's light skinned. Im assuming Defiant is an old head who deserves some respect on his or her or it's Name. #Gender-neutral-2019-bros These twizzlers im feasting on??! be bomb though.


Outro

Shout out to Clout, the random boss from the land of frost and his reviews. Shoutout to Veritas for his contribution to the hype mag mag, because that was still fucking hilarious and it's getting stuck in here all season. I'll be slightly active, but on vacation til next Wednesday, so expect more as we go on. This has the makings of a laid back league with low key fire here and if you know my modding, the more I have to work with, the more I'm gonna do.

Keep an eye out for:
-more guest segments
-pic roasts (themed, even)
-Sharp's reviews that make you wonder how much of his seemingly normal life is made up
-light podcast episodes now that the Incredible interview was actually enjoyable
-some fire verses from the best in text

Ideas I'm weighing and would like feedback on:
-spotlight gimmick battles worth an extra point in rankings
-themed battles in general (not tryna go full retard on the summer thing, but maybe let you guys opt in to transparent alias battles of where you have themed names, or vacation pic battles)
-virtually anything you

I don’t plan on any cyphers. I don’t particularly like them as a participant or a judge. That said, Blue and Zelph have both run some dope ones recently so I know there’s potential. If one of you wants to guest run one, hit me up.

Let's make it dope. Peace
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Old 07-02-2019, 09:07 PM   #2
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Dope mag, props on the work @Blue Bayou @Ghost1
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Old 07-02-2019, 09:09 PM   #3
Sharp
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21

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@Diablo @Killing Spree @Blue Bayou @INF @Hush @Crash Carson @Slechtq @Master Rock @John Dillinger @Defiant @Wanderer @Cred @Ryno
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Old 07-02-2019, 09:17 PM   #4
Blue Bayou
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Props on the effort Sharp, cool league
@Clout you're never getting a single beer, twizzler or cent from me after that bullshit
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Old 07-02-2019, 10:13 PM   #5
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Nice
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Old 07-02-2019, 10:38 PM   #6
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Props on the effort Sharp, cool league
@Clout you're never getting a single beer, twizzler or cent from me after that bullshit
You loved every word of it like the filthy bar whore you are.
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Old 07-04-2019, 01:15 PM   #7
Sharp
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21

Accomplishments
- 50+ Wins

Champed
- The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League

Rep Power: 12601535
Sharp has disabled reputation
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@Hush @Crash Carson @Cred @Slechtq @John Dillinger @Defiant @Blue Bayou @INF battles due tonight

Make sure someone says ext

Or just write 6 lines
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