Nice to meet you.

[UnbornBuddha]

Scared as the sunset beckons the oblivion,
Night terrors in the color spectrum of obsidian.
Merrily merrily on a face melting experience,
My neurons ingesting a million mammalian opinions
All oblivious to the pretty flowers in the meadows.
Mellowly enveloped and devoured by my shadows
Voila! just another clef note by the viola and cello.
You were real, we held hands, we said hello and let go;
It was a picture-perfect dulcet moment. Poetry and roses.
Shakespearean soliloquy until our tongue ulcered with emotion.
There we were, romantically muttering oceans of depth
Promising the universe, but there was implosion instead
And the repercussion was a big black hole in our chest.
Was every word spoken in jest or did our neurosis blend
And metamorphosize & beautify the world like the mariposa.
I should of been a man and told you,
I have a chrysalis of you hiding in my submucosa.
Its a shame you only met my sociopathic persona,
Mistook the tree for the forest, the bee for the hornet;
The shadowy silhouette for the rest of the being in the portrait.
Pressing my heart against the crest of your sternum.
The rate your heartbeats reveals the breadth of your person.
I've been accused of being introverted;
I'm really not, just don't find interest in your meaningless sermon
Having to dialog existentially defeats the purpose.
But I applaud you Mademoiselle for your five-star performance,
Even though it was a trite narrative without the light of cherubims.
Intertwine my seraphic hands in a mudra to purify my arrogance.
Knocking on your window to see if you're consciously there.
Sending you a postcard to see if you honestly cared.
Watch the sun's crimson fire bloom in the silence.
Droopy eyelids as the moon begin shining.
Its looming horizon feels like an eternity,
But it puts my third eye into lunar alignment.
Come god be my vanguard against perversities
Allow me to bring my beloved spirit to the stand
And accuse it of a whimsical stance
Inharmonious with the infinitely vast.
I willingly admit the brand of a cynical man
Critical of miracles as an inconceivable task.
Belittling them with immature little kid laughs.
Its because life is like a biochemical adulteration.
We live to please all our senses in moderation,
Its absurd so I tip over the carnal hourglass
So you can finally forget that part of your past
Which brings your heart so much angst.
Putting my face in a pillow to let out a scream.
I've forgotten how to sleep.
Off to bed, ghost on my chest, what a ghastly dream.
Tired of being half-asleep.

[Concrete]

It was a pretty good piece, lot's of cool imagery. Feels like an extended poem\keystyle mashup. I found it a bit too long tbh tho your wording made it read pretty smoothly. Seems to be room for intepretation here, straying from a relationship, authenticity, individuality, spirituality and so on, but it came together pretty solid. Overall a nice drop.

[Nick James]

Good read from start to finish.

esp was diggin this..

Its a shame you only met my sociopathic persona,
Mistook the tree for the forest, the bee for the hornet;
The shadowy silhouette for the rest of the being in the portrait.
Pressing my heart against the crest of your sternum.
The rate your heartbeats reveals the breadth of your person.


everything mashed together.. the vocab wasnt too extreme for the flow of the piece but enough to provide intricate detail that definitly peaks the mind of the reader not to mention u remained in structure which all in all kept me reading. Rlly aint got nothin bad to say about this

u shuld drop in the write week 9 at the top of the page. also join the league

[Mr. J]

Finally....



Ill give thorough feed later.

[Eŋg]

i thought

Mistook the tree for the forest, the bee for the hornet;
The shadowy silhouette for the rest of the being in the portrait.

was dope, the first line being some pretty sharp turns of phrase, and the second quite a poignant example of imagery. similarly, 'carnal hourglass' was stellar for the layered depth to that line. those were the moments which hinted at ability i know you possess -- otherwise, the progression felt a bit uncertain, and many segments lacked a smooth transitional cohesion for me, for which the off-kilter, slightly erratic rhymes did no favour.

to elaborate, some of your clinical, oft times sterile, choice of wording did not mesh at all well with the content matter at hand. you may have benefited from some more flowery abstractions... for someone who patently plucks particular words you don't often see in verse, the phrase 'big black hole' was absolutely insipid. still, i didn't dislike the piece as an overview.