08-10-2020, 11:16 PM | #1 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535 |
Wanderer 2-4 vs Adverse 2-4 - ADVERSE WINS
Netcees Pic League Min: 10 Lines Max: 16 Lines Line limit can go up to 20 if both agree Due Thursday, 8/13 at Midnight PST For everything else, check the Rules Thread @Wanderer @Adverse |
08-11-2020, 09:35 AM | #4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: England
Posts: 587
Battle Record: 24-33
Champed - NPL Roast
Rep Power: 7457538 |
That’s fine I can try n write 12
|
08-14-2020, 12:47 PM | #6 |
low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,738
Battle Record: 37-28
Champed - GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II
Rep Power: 15446142 |
Mannn... nobody from Gen Z would say Wand 'floss' or's 'on fleek'
But they would say he's fly cus they saw that beak and thought u were an Osprey, g What an awful physique, scrawny/snobby always acting like he mad nice 4'8 stature but with that fucking 'nose to the sky' he's at least Shaq's height Dude's structure plain weird, something's not right with that dome Literally lookin like my pubes grew limbs and took up a life of their own Dog got more shine than you, but you think you look good? Fuckin nerd ass Exis the only person who considers this a "thirst trap" Them proportions is wild man, if I was you I'd be upset bro How the fuck we only see half your face in this pic and it's still 90% nose You're a virgin, a geek talm bout murder like you dispersin the heat I mean if you got so many gats where they at? In that purse on the seat? And Sharp ROASTED me in the mag, I ain't bugging though it's fine Because you just being in that whip cements the fact that your Van's uglier than mine |
08-14-2020, 03:51 PM | #7 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535 |
Wanderer's verse
In ur kid brothers clothes so I’m bettin u don’t strap tecs If we say we saw a hammer poking out ur waist it’s in reference to that vest This won’t even be close cos i’m on a separate page Ur style still in its infancy clearly matching ur mental age They see ur potential? We’ll agree to disagree, this work is an art & speaking of splitting hairs... those eyebrows couldn’t be further apart Srsly those eyes are FREAKY. I’d love to press the gat to ur dome This bitch a drag queen on his day off. U can tell he’s left his lashes at home Barc’s tat got nothing on those sharks so lap it up, queer Ad loves sea-life so tell us.. WHAT species of clam is ur ear? & disloyal friends is what this low-life attracts That rear windshield’s a plain example of how much dirt’s thrown behind ur back This scream sex offenders register. u’ll die a rapey bloke That vest makes tonnes of sense.. a slimy predator tryna stay afloat |
08-14-2020, 11:12 PM | #8 |
Spoiled brat
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Detroit
Posts: 1,997
Battle Record: 25-3
Champed - Now Or Never 2020
- Netcees Pic League
- NPL Season I
- Netcees Battle League
- NBL Season XV
Rep Power: 83701997 |
Thirst trap
90% Vs Splitting hairs Vote adverse |
08-15-2020, 10:24 AM | #9 |
Fried Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 70
Battle Record: 0-1
Rep Power: 1555695 |
Them proportions is wild man, if I was you I'd be upset bro
How the fuck we only see half your face in this pic and it's still 90% nose I almost didn't quote that^ vs. In ur kid brothers clothes so I’m bettin u don’t strap tecs If we say we saw a hammer poking out ur waist it’s in reference to that vest They see ur potential? We’ll agree to disagree, this work is an art & speaking of splitting hairs... those eyebrows couldn’t be further apart & disloyal friends is what this low-life attracts That rear windshield’s a plain example of how much dirt’s thrown behind ur back Wand got this one |
08-16-2020, 10:15 AM | #10 |
K I N G
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 685
Battle Record: 15-10
Rep Power: 3228862 |
Ad -
Dude's structure plain weird, something's not right with that dome Literally lookin like my pubes grew limbs and took up a life of their own Dog got more shine than you, but you think you look good? Fuckin nerd ass Exis the only person who considers this a "thirst trap" Them proportions is wild man, if I was you I'd be upset bro How the fuck we only see half your face in this pic and it's still 90% nose Cool middle section. Pubes line was HILARIOUS. Exis/dog line was funny. Nose line worked, but was light. Wand - Barc’s tat got nothing on those sharks so lap it up, queer Ad loves sea-life so tell us.. WHAT species of clam is ur ear? & disloyal friends is what this low-life attracts That rear windshield’s a plain example of how much dirt’s thrown behind ur back Not the best verse I've seen from you, Wand. A lot of your lines seem to come off statement-ish, and lacked any real creativity beyond the surface level diss. That's fine, and it worked sometimes like the clam line, but also didnt work a few times (i.e., the other lines i didnt quote). I think Ad got the best of you here. Pubes line is lotb for me, and he had one more quote to go off. V - Adverse
__________________
First Class |
08-16-2020, 05:26 PM | #11 |
AHHHHHHH
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 558
Battle Record: 16-17
Rep Power: 8596595 |
Opener was alright
Pubes was funny but not crazy hard I have no clue what the thrist trap line means sorry 90% nose was cool..... Anything I didn't mention a I wasn't feeling... Vs Wand ... Your opener was ok but could of hit hard...u didn't do enough with it ..maybe if u would have done something like "I'll put the hammer to his gut" or something more aggressive..overall what u did was mild n ok ..splitting hairs was cool I almost quoted lashes but u could have done more..didn't have enough sting Clam was little funny.... Vote adverse I think wand had more attempts but most didn't land like they should have. I kept thinking ' damn he could of done more here with a dif angle with the same concept'... I think wand ideas were better but ad was more direct with power
__________________
.
..death to all RIGHT RIGHT!! |
08-17-2020, 09:27 AM | #12 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535 |
Feelin thorough today. Going for feedback as well as a vote
Mannn... nobody from Gen Z would say Wand 'floss' or's 'on fleek' But they would say he's fly cus they saw that beak and thought u were an Osprey, g little thing - 'they would say he's fly..... Thought you were an osprey - you used second and third person in the same sentence in a way that's grammatically off, which can be distracting to the reader. Bar isn't bad but I think the fly/beak connection is a little basic What an awful physique, scrawny/snobby always acting like he mad nice 4'8 stature but with that fucking 'nose to the sky' he's at least Shaq's height not a bad idea, but why is 'nose to the sky' in quotes? Is there a wordplay thing going on? Usually our guys tend to put quotes like that around a whole double entendre. Unless there's some wordplay I'm missing, you're going for a humor angle with a double entendre delivery. You could afford to ham up the humor here for effect. Dude's structure plain weird, something's not right with that dome Literally lookin like my pubes grew limbs and took up a life of their own here's the humor. Unfortunately it's a meh from me. On a third read I can't really see the connection aside from a curl in his hair Dog got more shine than you, but you think you look good? Fuckin nerd ass Exis the only person who considers this a "thirst trap" okay, but the thirst trap angle doesn't do so well for me because it's clearly a pic of the dog. Still funny. Exis memes aside obv Them proportions is wild man, if I was you I'd be upset bro How the fuck we only see half your face in this pic and it's still 90% nose lol cool. The delivery here is safe but effective for what you're trying to say. Would recommend using this kind of delivery for humorous observations more (obviously not verbatim every time, but the fake incredulity helps get the bars across a lot) You're a virgin, a geek talm bout murder like you dispersin the heat I mean if you got so many gats where they at? In that purse on the seat? nice end rhyme. Whole bar flows well. Bar itself is light. I like what you're going for here but it really didn't help that he didn't drop much gun shit aside from one setup. There also isn't much potential for a humorous observation here; imo those are best suited for your opponent's actual look. I think going after his gunbar-y style isn't a bad idea, but it would probably need some element of wordplay to hit. And Sharp ROASTED me in the mag, I ain't bugging though it's fine Because you just being in that whip cements the fact that your Van's uglier than mine funny, solid. I wouldn't go all caps in the setup to make it look that bad... You're a battle rapper... Have some pride, say it with your chest out In ur kid brothers clothes so I’m bettin u don’t strap tecs If we say we saw a hammer poking out ur waist it’s in reference to that vest I don't think that's a vest Jesus christ you're lucky I Google everything I don't get. Turns out brits literally call that kind of clothing a vest. It's a good concept but you could word it harder. 'I'm reference to' really lacks the sting. Nothing wrong with sounding nerdy but that's sentence space that can be used sounding harsher (meaning a more effective hit) This won’t even be close cos i’m on a separate page Ur style still in its infancy clearly matching ur mental age the style in infancy is a good connection. The 'mental age' is a little off tbh. Why not just compare it to his dress sense? 9 times out of 10 less is more here They see ur potential? We’ll agree to disagree, this work is an art & speaking of splitting hairs... those eyebrows couldn’t be further apart we we're talking about splitting hairs. Set up could've been way stronger/more connected, but the punch itself is good Srsly those eyes are FREAKY. I’d love to press the gat to ur dome This bitch a drag queen on his day off. U can tell he’s left his lashes at home I don't really see a surprising lack of eyelashes here. Probably not worth going after tbh. Barc’s tat got nothing on those sharks so lap it up, queer Ad loves sea-life so tell us.. WHAT species of clam is ur ear? second and third person in the first half of the punch is a little awkward. The end rhyme is just one syllable and I'm only pointing that out because I think you went for a multi. Punch itself is silly, passable, but a light hit & disloyal friends is what this low-life attracts That rear windshield’s a plain example of how much dirt’s thrown behind ur back I don't think it's dirt. If you had just said shade this would've been dope This scream sex offenders register. u’ll die a rapey bloke That vest makes tonnes of sense.. a slimy predator tryna stay afloat I like this in theory. 'die a rapey bloke' is weird phrase but it gets a pass. This would be more effective if you led into it with your bar about him dressing like a child because it's a bit of a jump to from 0 to 'you're dressed like you want to attract children so you're a sex offender' which is the premise of the bar I got ad with a few more solid hits. Both had a few bars that might have been harder with different execution. V/Adverse |
08-17-2020, 08:52 PM | #13 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 480
Battle Record: 7-12
Rep Power: 1856618 |
Mannn... nobody from Gen Z would say Wand 'floss' or's 'on fleek'
But they would say he's fly cus they saw that beak and thought u were an Osprey, g not feeling this What an awful physique, scrawny/snobby always acting like he mad nice 4'8 stature but with that fucking 'nose to the sky' he's at least Shaq's height cool Dude's structure plain weird, something's not right with that dome Literally lookin like my pubes grew limbs and took up a life of their own not feelin this Dog got more shine than you, but you think you look good? Fuckin nerd ass Exis the only person who considers this a "thirst trap" im missing something Them proportions is wild man, if I was you I'd be upset bro How the fuck we only see half your face in this pic and it's still 90% nose funny You're a virgin, a geek talm bout murder like you dispersin the heat I mean if you got so many gats where they at? In that purse on the seat? okish And Sharp ROASTED me in the mag, I ain't bugging though it's fine Because you just being in that whip cements the fact that your Van's uglier than mine not fan of this vs. In ur kid brothers clothes so I’m bettin u don’t strap tecs If we say we saw a hammer poking out ur waist it’s in reference to that vest cool This won’t even be close cos i’m on a separate page Ur style still in its infancy clearly matching ur mental age no They see ur potential? We’ll agree to disagree, this work is an art & speaking of splitting hairs... those eyebrows couldn’t be further apart ok Srsly those eyes are FREAKY. I’d love to press the gat to ur dome This bitch a drag queen on his day off. U can tell he’s left his lashes at home not feelign this Barc’s tat got nothing on those sharks so lap it up, queer Ad loves sea-life so tell us.. WHAT species of clam is ur ear? cool & disloyal friends is what this low-life attracts That rear windshield’s a plain example of how much dirt’s thrown behind ur back nice This scream sex offenders register. u’ll die a rapey bloke That vest makes tonnes of sense.. a slimy predator tryna stay afloat decent I'm going with Wanderer here. I'm a fan of Adverse but I'm not sure what happened there, a bit of lazy verse |
08-17-2020, 11:24 PM | #14 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 734
Battle Record: 33-9
Champed - 1-2 Punch Onslaught II
- Tag Team Tournament V
- 1-2 Punch Season III
- Netcees SOL
- Battle Arena
- SOL Season I
- NBL Season XIV
- Netcees Battle League
Rep Power: 8150227 |
osprey was a off for me
nose to sky was light pubes came outta left field.. mehh dont get exis nose hitt purse was coo van a nice ender vs hammer ok mental age i fucks with splitting hairs is light drag q funny clam was corny disloyal friend coulda been nasty, was ok closer what? ad had 3 i liked and 3 i no’s.. wand had 2 quotables and 2 i disliked but felt just a tad more consistent.. could go either way, dunno.. on this read it’s v wanderer
__________________
C. O. B. |
08-18-2020, 04:05 AM | #15 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 697
Battle Record: 19-10
Champed - BA Show And Prove
- Summer Classic XI
Rep Power: 4156643 |
90% nose
Purse Vans was cool but the diss light Hammer was lotb Slimy predator This is close. Wand had lotb the hammer head line was fire to me. Adverse started out kinda weak but got better as it went on which is always a better read. Vote - adverse |
08-18-2020, 07:30 AM | #16 |
FUCK YOU
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,041
Battle Record: 7-9
Rep Power: 8436723 |
Mannn... nobody from Gen Z would say Wand 'floss' or's 'on fleek'
But they would say he's fly cus they saw that beak and thought u were an Osprey, g What an awful physique, scrawny/snobby always acting like he mad nice 4'8 stature but with that fucking 'nose to the sky' he's at least Shaq's height Them proportions is wild man, if I was you I'd be upset bro How the fuck we only see half your face in this pic and it's still 90% nose This light tho. Thirst trap and the purse bar could have been executed better Vs In ur kid brothers clothes so I’m bettin u don’t strap tecs If we say we saw a hammer poking out ur waist it’s in reference to that vest They see ur potential? We’ll agree to disagree, this work is an art & speaking of splitting hairs... those eyebrows couldn’t be further apart Barc’s tat got nothing on those sharks so lap it up, queer Ad loves sea-life so tell us.. WHAT species of clam is ur ear? & disloyal friends is what this low-life attracts That rear windshield’s a plain example of how much dirt’s thrown behind ur back This scream sex offenders register. u’ll die a rapey bloke That vest makes tonnes of sense.. a slimy predator tryna stay afloat Damn this was a close battle... ads misses were better than wands but I got wand with more quotables V/wand |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|