WEEK 8: Brokenhal0 2-4 VS Coop 0-1 COOP WINS

[UPN Zuch]

Welcome to the NBL

Rules

Line limit

Minimum: 10

Maximum: 16

Verses due 11:59pm EST November 28, 2020 (Saturday)

Extensions are granted automatically. 24-hour max. MUST BE REQUESTED BY DEADLINE


Good luck, gentlemen

[Coop]

10-12

[brokenhal0]

Yo Ill put your head threw the shredder like some deli meat
The fuck you telling me Have your wifey tongue kiss my smelly feet

I 'coop'erate your dreams while you co-operate police
compensate your failures with more mistakes and grief

Your a rat who wouldn't take the cheese
im the cat whose claws gonna make you bleed
trapped no place to leave

ill cut you in line in micky d's ill lace your weed to make you sneeze
slam your head into a table and break your knees

i heard you eat glizzy's and party with men with fake tittys
a real copycat end up missing where ya body at
in the trunk of my uncles pontiac

Fuck a handgun where my shotty at ill split your body back
kill any Co-oPerative trying to lock me up with a shiny badge

send the wolfs to your farm king cooper on you chickens
next morning they gone hows does it feel to be a loser with your written's

Labeled a snitch cause you always waiting to tell
your whole style basic as hell
ill stuff my fist up your girls pussy
until her labias swell

[Coop]

This a joke, right??




ANOTHER troll account??? Cmon, this poor lil bastard's a sure disaster
No one has the will to read your shit. We'd have to be dying of more than laughter
You can try, but hell, time will tell you could never outfight or beat me
Cuz a broken clock's right only twice a day, but a brokenhalo always writes weekly
Then he rages when he loses. God don't like angry! But I'm not tryna preach
Just count your losses, brokenhalo.. mouse, keyboard, & anything else within reach
Chicks give him 3 strikes then he's gone. (If they don't flake on his broke dates)
S'why he's got so many Turkeys he can supply Thanksgiving for his whole state
A fuckin heathen, as long as this punk is breathing he couldn't fill sinacog's spot
Your great desire's the lake of fire? You still won't know how it feels to be hot
& you're short, annoying & dumb like Dominions. You're Despicable dude
So even if you had that voting machine ^, there'd still be no switching to you

[UPN Zuch]

Didn’t like anything from Hal0.

Coop, liked the first 6 lines. Turkey line was a little bland and closer was eh. Other than that though, liked the verse. Way more than enough to win.

Good shit.


Vote Coop

[Hush]

Coop got this

Halo out here cutting the McDonald’s line


That’s ain’t wavy baby



Vote coop

[Wanderer]

Coop

Your first 2 bars stood out to me the most and clock was LOTB

you were gonna win this all day long tho..

BH

I’m still not enjoying anything, man

[fraze]

Originally Posted by brokenhal0

Yo Ill put your head threw the shredder like some deli meat
The fuck you telling me Have your wifey tongue kiss my smelly feet
kinda funny. mostly bad. work on your punches
I 'coop'erate your dreams while you co-operate police
compensate your failures with more mistakes and grief
no punch here.
Your a rat who wouldn't take the cheese
im the cat whose claws gonna make you bleed
trapped no place to leave
cool multis. the rat/cat thing is pretty simple. not harsh or clever enough
ill cut you in line in micky d's ill lace your weed to make you sneeze
slam your head into a table and break your knees
violence without cleverness doesn't work
i heard you eat glizzy's and party with men with fake tittys
a real copycat end up missing where ya body at
in the trunk of my uncles pontiac
very light. needs wit
Fuck a handgun where my shotty at ill split your body back
kill any Co-oPerative trying to lock me up with a shiny badge
you already did cooperate. cooperative is redundant
send the wolfs to your farm king cooper on you chickens
next morning they gone hows does it feel to be a loser with your written's
diss is too straightforward
Labeled a snitch cause you always waiting to tell
your whole style basic as hell
ill stuff my fist up your girls pussy
until her labias swell
this was kinda disturbing. not in a hard hitting way. more in a "are you a sex offender" way

You did a good job with rhymes and multis but most of your bars don't have something I would call a punch. You're gonna need those if you want to win battles.

Originally Posted by Coop

ANOTHER troll account??? Cmon, this poor lil bastard's a sure disaster
No one has the will to read your shit. We'd have to be dying of more than laughter
will/dying is ok. could have been set up better
You can try, but hell, time will tell you could never outfight or beat me
Cuz a broken clock's right only twice a day, but a brokenhalo always writes weekly
this is a stretch. concept is ok but isn't worded to hit for me
Then he rages when he loses. God don't like angry! But I'm not tryna preach
Just count your losses, brokenhalo.. mouse, keyboard, & anything else within reach
this is ok
Chicks give him 3 strikes then he's gone. (If they don't flake on his broke dates)
S'why he's got so many Turkeys he can supply Thanksgiving for his whole state
light. punch is meh to me
A fuckin heathen, as long as this punk is breathing he couldn't fill sinacog's spot
Your great desire's the lake of fire? You still won't know how it feels to be hot
not harsh enough. i would have set up lake of fire in a different way. sinacog reference is pretty loose connection.
& you're short, annoying & dumb like Dominions. You're Despicable dude
So even if you had that voting machine ^, there'd still be no switching to you
ok closer. wording could be better in punch

Quotes: count your losses
Close: closer

Ok verse. Part of the issue is concepts. Some of the ones you picked are light/simple and limit the impact of your bars. In other places, your concept is ok but doesn't have wording to hit harshly. Better setup with help with this. Also just play around with a couple different ways to get to your punch, you might find a better approach after the first one. A step up from last weeks verse in execution but need more creativity to get past tougher opponents.

Vote: Coop. He wins this pretty easily but still has a couple places to improve.

[Fracture]

Brokenhalo reminds me of 15 yr old frac on microsoft word breaking my verse up. Not very effective in a league full of hitmen... But keep at it. Maybe put your lines together... The spaces take steam off. Also there arent even any real ideas going on here. Make her lick your smelly feet?

Coop... I notice youre a pretty harsh critic so im expecting pure fire. Not the case. You def outshines halo but almost by default. The intro was lotb so you won off the merit of that. Clean flow throughout but hindered by boring concepts. Minion lines....


Vote- coop

[FGR]

Vote coop
He took it with better hits and having an idea on how to put bars together..halo ain't there yet
Dude need to get the basics taught to him and learn how to deliver a punch.. no hate. They're just isn't really anything in his verse to judge as a punch

[Scout]

Halo

I laughed out loud at your opener
And surprisingly you can rhyme better than some here that are considered above avg.
Unfortunately you need more than that. I.e. witty ideas, personal jabs, nameplays that work (co-operative is forced), etc.
Keep at it. Read champ matches. You'll get it


Coop

Then he rages when he loses. God don't like angry! But I'm not tryna preach
Just count your losses, brokenhalo.. mouse, keyboard, & anything else within reach

Opener almost
+ a couple other that were close/better attempts than bh

Voting Coop

[Kill Spree]

Both verses weren’t good tbh. Can’t believe coop critiques shit dropping this. Broken had nothing


Coop had some ok attempts but nothing was heat for me. Enough to take the win



Halo gotta be a sin alias


V/coop

[Ajax]

I actually laughed out loud at Brokenhalo’s opener and the fake titty’s lines. There’s an understated hilarity there that I actually like more in some ways than the standard setup/punchline couplet by couplet verses that everyone posts these days.

Unfortunately, overall, the verse was just too simplistic to win. Frankly, Coop’s verse wasn’t much better, it was structured well enough to win. I’m not sure that verse would beat any other verses in the league this week, but it was good enough here.

Coop wins.

[Eviction]

This battle wasn't very good wasn't feeling anything from broken, coop had the turkey bar, I liked he cut out the fluff though, it's obvious he did enough to win.

v/coop.

is broken sinacog?

[Blas]

v/ brokenhalo
smellyfeet lotb

[iSpaz]

Yo Ill put your head threw the shredder like some deli meat
The fuck you telling me Have your wifey tongue kiss my smelly feet

^^^ tf lol

Vs

Some good constructed bars that were not bad i guess.

V/coop

[Mac]

Yo Ill put your head threw the shredder like some deli meat
The fuck you telling me Have your wifey tongue kiss my smelly feet
holy shit

I 'coop'erate your dreams while you co-operate police
compensate your failures with more mistakes and grief
this is a statement, gotta put a punch there. why u'll leave him in grief

Your a rat who wouldn't take the cheese
im the cat whose claws gonna make you bleed
trapped no place to leave
same as before

ill cut you in line in micky d's ill lace your weed to make you sneeze
slam your head into a table and break your knees
not intimidating at all, gotta put some sting here

i heard you eat glizzy's and party with men with fake tittys
a real copycat end up missing where ya body at
in the trunk of my uncles pontiac
same

Fuck a handgun where my shotty at ill split your body back
kill any Co-oPerative trying to lock me up with a shiny badge
ok this makes more sense

send the wolfs to your farm king cooper on you chickens
next morning they gone hows does it feel to be a loser with your written's
some imagery here but not quite makes it

Labeled a snitch cause you always waiting to tell
your whole style basic as hell
ill stuff my fist up your girls pussy
until her labias swell
ok so kind coming from you

vs.

ANOTHER troll account??? Cmon, this poor lil bastard's a sure disaster
No one has the will to read your shit. We'd have to be dying of more than laughter
statement

You can try, but hell, time will tell you could never outfight or beat me
Cuz a broken clock's right only twice a day, but a brokenhalo always writes weekly
nahh forced

Then he rages when he loses. God don't like angry! But I'm not tryna preach
Just count your losses, brokenhalo.. mouse, keyboard, & anything else within reach
ehh

Chicks give him 3 strikes then he's gone. (If they don't flake on his broke dates)
S'why he's got so many Turkeys he can supply Thanksgiving for his whole state
mm not getting the punch here

A fuckin heathen, as long as this punk is breathing he couldn't fill sinacog's spot
Your great desire's the lake of fire? You still won't know how it feels to be hot
sorry man not feeling this

& you're short, annoying & dumb like Dominions. You're Despicable dude
So even if you had that voting machine ^, there'd still be no switching to you
ok but awkward wording


that feet line was legendary.. this battle was close as fuckkkkkk

i gotta re-read this so i'll come back to edit my vote