Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-28-2020, 10:05 PM   #1
Adverse
A Poetic Pigeon
 
Adverse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 966
Battle Record: 4-4


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League

Rep Power: 7636239
Adverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant future
Default Beretta Thunberg

SET IT OFF
They only respond to violence so why the fuck would she talk?
Tired of playing the pacifist, she's strapped to the T
Suited in all black, a bandolier on her torso, couple magazines
She takes stage, bullets bouncing through the audience how's that for a speech?
Beside she's too soft spoken and her words couldn't reach the volume actions can speak
She's grazing citizens and political powers, the prolific cowards
The rising tide would have eventually done what she can finish in an hour
Slender girl from Sweden sort of built like Slim Jesus
Shredding the crowd to pieces, with an AR15, she's only 16ish
And has already touched more people than you and I ever will
Years from now we'll look back and she'll be holding our attention STILL
Bullets reach all those people that words couldn't touch
It resonates and burns within them as they're coughing up blood
Used to stand up for the climate in school just to hear the class chuckle
But she ain't fucking around no more traded in the kid gloves for brass knuckles
And as she mows down the audience she lets out a maniacal laugh
She's finally saving the icebergs, getting justice for the climate at last..
She drops the chopper and steps up to the microphone veiled by the gun smoke
And before security took her out with a shot to the dome this what she spoke;

"You are failing us. But the young people are starting to understand your betrayal. The eyes of all future generations are upon you. And if you choose to fail us, I say: We will never forgive you.

We will not let you get away with this. Right here, right now is where we draw the line. The world is waking up. And change is coming, whether you like it or not.

Thank you."
__________________
"I'M NOT A SELF-HELP BOOK I'M JUST A FUCKED UP KID”

Last edited by Adverse; 06-29-2020 at 01:59 AM.
Adverse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-29-2020, 03:52 PM   #2
Scar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 261



Champed
- Guerrilla Writing League

Rep Power: 2253718
Scar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant futureScar has a brilliant future
Default

my man addy. i'm an admirer of her so off the bat i'm fucking with this verse. the class chuckle/brass knuckle couplet was awesome. had me thumping my chest lulz. i enjoyed this. it was quick but you never lost sight of the topic. had a very cool punchline style to it. the ending was a little to melodramatic for me but i can see her being a martyr should some shit like that happen. good job, Ad.
__________________
I remember the poplar trees
Scar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-29-2020, 10:53 PM   #3
White Earl
Get @ Me Dog
 
White Earl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 11,242
Battle Record: 10-15

Accomplishments
- Open Mic HOF (4x)

Champed
- Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8

Rep Power: 50318739
White Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to White Earl
Default

Slender girl from Sweden sort of built like Slim Jesus
Shredding the crowd to pieces, with an AR15, she's only 16ish
And has already touched more people than you and I ever will
Years from now we'll look back and she'll be holding our attention STILL


That shit was very well done. Good piece in general. Enjoyed the flow and the content is current and always relevant. Nice work Adverse
__________________
-Earl
White Earl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-29-2020, 11:54 PM   #4
Exis
............
 
Exis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,704
Battle Record: 3-1



Rep Power: 0
Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis
Default

Yeah I'm not gonna quote fam, don't think it would do this piece justice tbh...from top to bottom I felt.Would of liked it to be longer lol.

Slick shit man, thank you for the read..
Exis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-30-2020, 01:43 AM   #5
Adverse
A Poetic Pigeon
 
Adverse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 966
Battle Record: 4-4


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League

Rep Power: 7636239
Adverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant future
Default

I’m glad this found an audience because I thought it was really outlandish but it was fun to think about and even funner to write! Thanks guys
__________________
"I'M NOT A SELF-HELP BOOK I'M JUST A FUCKED UP KID”
Adverse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2020, 05:08 PM   #6
Universe
Everything's Connected
 
Universe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Niagara Falls, Canada
Posts: 426



Champed
- Guerrilla Writing League(2x)
- GWL Picture challenge(2x)

Rep Power: 3577483
Universe has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant future
Default

This was fun. Reminded me of a Quentin Tarantino alternate reality type of piece.

Very cool. I'm wondering what inspired this though lol.
__________________
..Passed the Present and Future..
Universe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2020, 05:12 PM   #7
Adverse
A Poetic Pigeon
 
Adverse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 966
Battle Record: 4-4


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League

Rep Power: 7636239
Adverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Universe View Post
This was fun. Reminded me of a Quentin Tarantino alternate reality type of piece.

Very cool. I'm wondering what inspired this though lol.
If I told I was driving and thought Greta sounded a lot like Beretta and just rolled with that would it take anything away from it? Lol
__________________
"I'M NOT A SELF-HELP BOOK I'M JUST A FUCKED UP KID”
Adverse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2020, 05:19 PM   #8
Universe
Everything's Connected
 
Universe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Niagara Falls, Canada
Posts: 426



Champed
- Guerrilla Writing League(2x)
- GWL Picture challenge(2x)

Rep Power: 3577483
Universe has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adverse View Post
If I told I was driving and thought Greta sounded a lot like Beretta and just rolled with that would it take anything away from it? Lol
Not at all. Bigger ideas than this have formed from much smaller beginnings. But the real question is... Why were you thinking of Greta? :)
__________________
..Passed the Present and Future..
Universe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2020, 05:22 PM   #9
Zaddy
ZAAAAM
 
Zaddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,463
Battle Record: 3-2


Champed
- What's That?! A Cypher!

Rep Power: 6441053
Zaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant futureZaddy has a brilliant future
Default

Was this a diss or a topical?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barcotic
Rb's another investment lost, respect is gone when ya ruin our home
Came to nc on my coattails but you left that restaurant w. a few of your own
Zaddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2020, 06:18 PM   #10
Adverse
A Poetic Pigeon
 
Adverse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 966
Battle Record: 4-4


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League

Rep Power: 7636239
Adverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Universe View Post
Not at all. Bigger ideas than this have formed from much smaller beginnings. But the real question is... Why were you thinking of Greta? :)
Lmaoooo I read an article about her recently and it brought her back to mind

@Zaddy it was more of an alternate reality topical I suppose I respect her endeavors. It was also a commentary on the world we live in too? (Pre-Corona anyways)
__________________
"I'M NOT A SELF-HELP BOOK I'M JUST A FUCKED UP KID”
Adverse is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:47 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+