Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-26-2020, 02:36 AM   #1
White Earl
Get @ Me Dog
 
White Earl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 11,242
Battle Record: 10-15

Accomplishments
- Open Mic HOF (4x)

Champed
- Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8

Rep Power: 50318739
White Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to White Earl
Default Everyday Shit

A residual haunt, shes gone, ive been miserably lost
She walks accross the living room, pauses, visually flawless
Then she dissapears, i zone, and sit here alone
Ashtray overflow, her ghost was ciggarette smoke
Nicotine stained walls, coffee splashing my jeans
Another dose of caffeine, grinds trapped in my teeth
12 cup pot brewing, folgers, how i usually do it
To stuck in my ways, ill never switch over to keurig
Besides, its 10 bucks, just for 12 little cups..
Premeasured, and its never to the strength that i want
I like to adjust, but thats the price you pay for convenience
Thank god theres other options, either take it or leave it
Im just sayin', to each his own, i could never conform
Ideas i kick around, my 3rd or 4th cup of joe for the morning
The best part of waking up, isnt whats in your cup..
Its my hallucination, that my girl is ready to fuck
Ears perked, beers perched, its beer-30 at last
I swear to god if she dont give it up im stealin her ass
Ive switched habits, gone black..
opened the door to my liquer cabinet
I can hear the distant laughter as my demons approach
Butted out the ciggarrette & lit the weed in my roach
Jesus im toast, the shit i'd do to see my inhibitions play slolem
She told me i aint shit..
took a long look at myself, said this bitch is the problem
Even though deep inside, i agree with her comment
Im'a still do me, why should i give a fuck
My bitch named misery loves company, invite her to come
__________________
-Earl

Last edited by White Earl; 06-26-2020 at 04:42 AM.
White Earl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2020, 03:00 AM   #2
Adverse
A Poetic Pigeon
 
Adverse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 966
Battle Record: 4-4


Champed
- GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League

Rep Power: 7636239
Adverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant futureAdverse has a brilliant future
Default

Pieces of this were cool, and evoked some good imagery, especially in the opening few lines, feel like you rambled a bit on the coffee but it was something I agreed with and it didn't really feel out of place per say just dragged a little long, liked the imagery like I said and the closing lines wrapped it up nicely, felt audio-esque. Good drop
__________________
"I'M NOT A SELF-HELP BOOK I'M JUST A FUCKED UP KID”
Adverse is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2020, 11:04 PM   #3
Phorce
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 7




Rep Power: 0
Phorce is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Honestly man most of this didn’t even rhyme to me and i couldn’t get past that
Phorce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2020, 11:18 PM   #4
White Earl
Get @ Me Dog
 
White Earl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 11,242
Battle Record: 10-15

Accomplishments
- Open Mic HOF (4x)

Champed
- Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8

Rep Power: 50318739
White Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant futureWhite Earl has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to White Earl
Default

I can see your gonna have a hard time around here.
__________________
-Earl
White Earl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2020, 11:23 PM   #5
Phorce
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 7




Rep Power: 0
Phorce is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

You have no idea, boss
Phorce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-26-2020, 11:25 PM   #6
Phorce
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 7




Rep Power: 0
Phorce is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Honestly tho, I liked what you’re rhyming about... better than most of the stuff I’ve seen on here, but bruh, It don’t rhyme to me at all lol
Phorce is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:23 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+