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Old 06-13-2020, 10:36 AM   #1
I got shine
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Default Brown skin girl

She look in the mirror and see beauty,
Makeup or no Makeup she still pretty.
People amaze by her eyes,
Her personality so amazing.
She have you memorized,
She not afraid to show dark.
She proud of the color her skin,
She don't let nobody judge her.
She accept the way she is,
She has a gorgeous smile.
Bring joy to your heart,
Something about her sex appleace.
Everyone go crazy over style,
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Last edited by I got shine; 06-13-2020 at 06:50 PM.
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Old 06-14-2020, 10:00 AM   #2
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I thought it was very well worded, great technique and whatnot, but I must say I disagree with the message of the poem.
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Old 06-14-2020, 03:07 PM   #3
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People amaze by her eyes,
Her personality so amazing.
She have you memorized,

^^Chea!...
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Old 06-14-2020, 04:51 PM   #4
I got shine
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Thanks guys
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Old 06-14-2020, 05:31 PM   #5
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very very emotional piece i had someone passing a mirror as i read it out so i was like beautiful stencil of a person and then some dope work cutie
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Old 06-14-2020, 08:31 PM   #6
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This is riddled with spelling and grammar errors.
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I can and do drink like 20 strong beers a day literally every day.
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Old 06-15-2020, 07:13 PM   #7
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this nicer than anything you ever dropped pharaoh...

except for the verse you named after one of mine

it had a good title

rest was dookie

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She look in the mirror and see beauty,
Makeup or no Makeup she still pretty.
phenomenal.
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Old 06-15-2020, 07:20 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Pakistani Hand Cannon View Post
this nicer than anything you ever dropped pharaoh...

except for the verse you named after one of mine

it had a good title

rest was dookie



phenomenal.
I'm giving her the truth, unlike the blind compliments she always gets. I.e. yours.
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Old 06-16-2020, 07:42 PM   #9
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Something about her sex appleace.
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Old 06-16-2020, 08:21 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Pharaohs Army View Post
I'm giving her the truth, unlike the blind compliments she always gets. I.e. yours.
& thats the truth you have to offer? grammatical errors?

great contribution you spellcheckin dunce hoe ass nigga

& its not a "blind compliment" - its called sarcasm, genius.

Last edited by Pakistani Hand Cannon; 06-16-2020 at 08:23 PM. Reason: 4got to call this nigga a dunce
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Old 06-17-2020, 02:33 PM   #11
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I got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant future
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Thanks everyone
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Old 06-18-2020, 05:21 PM   #12
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Based on someone you know? It came off as a personal one. Nice, simple but heartfelt wording about a topic seldom touched upon. I felt you could've gone on longer with this but it was nice for what it was. If the subject is your crush you should show it to her. Nice work.
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Old 06-20-2020, 04:05 AM   #13
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this was pretty good, I mean the thought and emotion behind it... it'd be way better if you took a little more time to write coherently though.
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Old 06-20-2020, 08:39 AM   #14
I got shine
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I got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant futureI got shine has a brilliant future
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John just a poem from off the top
Thanks for the feedback fellas
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