"To whom it may concern:"

[namix]

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

This letter came to you from the place you’ll soon find timelessness;
We hope you get the message… before there’s a need for writing it.

Hope... a redeeming quality which you had deemed too childish;
We were born to bring revival, but grown to be survivalists.
Saw you playing “Simon Says”; so we did as Simon did…
Only shown how to rock a boat, never how to right the ship.

Since innocence seemed ignorant, we sought our bliss from sciences;
Our character’s best measured by the depth of our one-sidedness.
Taught to win at any cost…. But when we lost, our fight would end.
So this time when you teach us, can you please try “try again”?

We have the drive of motorized rides equipped with nitrogen;
While working just as tireless as the hovercrafts we’re flying in.
And we were taught to dream, but not to sleep until retirement;
There's no peace in counting sheep, while lyin in a lion’s den!

A pill for that, a pill for this; a pill so both will strike more quick;
A pill to help us swallow all the truth of our reliances…
Now we’re living even longer – thanks to stronger vitamins;
Our ignorance was thinking it’d bring incremental life with it!

A device for that, a device for this; a device to make devices quick;
So desensitized by devices, we don’t even see the vice in it…
Now we're obnoxiously robotic, a product of our environment…
Great at catching breaks we’ll never make the time to fix.

A fight for that, a fight for this; a fight so that the fight exists;
Standing by our right for peace, we'll never cease the fight for it!
What goes around comes around; we found out why spite exists.
So you can pay the piper, and in time we’ll pay the piper’s kid….

Pride for that, pride for this; pride for pride we might omit;
Pride which is tightly clinched in a fist too mighty to be pried of it.
With a sense of entitlement stemming from senseless mindfulness;
You could find us in the darkest age, describing it as enlightenment.

Until one day: a device ended the fight, a pill killed off the viruses.
Loved winning; but having won - we didn't take much pride in it.
Then suddenly, we were blinded by a liquid leaking out our irises!
Perplexed, we entered the question in our engine: “Why is this?”

Across every generation, the gap is bridged by righteousness.
It was the first message off the presses when Gutenberg provided his.
The trend reflects the plight of men, who rise then fall to rise again;
But the cycle can recycle; there’s no wound that time won’t mend.

SO TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Too few were too concerned...
But there's still time to change your lesson plan, before our lesson's learned.

Yours Truly,
GENERATION ALPHA, EST 2010
Your future is our present, help us change it today.

[Split]

namix do you ever write for yourself?

[PancakeBrah]

Everything I dislike in a piece, all in one spot!

You think I'm trolling but I think pieces such as this are horrible. Just pseudo intellectual pompous bullshit drivel.

[namix]

Originally Posted by Split Eight

namix do you ever write for yourself?

Sometimes, but typically I just write for pancake.

[Split]

I wasnt criticizing, just noting that you rarely seem to put personal aspects/ emotions in your drops, which i think would humanize your philosophy

[namix]

s'all good fellas, for whatever reason this got a ton of props on PR

opinions differ yo.. thanks for peeping.

[Certain]

The rhyming obviously is outstanding, and a lot of the lines stand out. But the lack of concrete details does open you up to criticism such as that of Split Eight and PancakeBrah. You dance around the real emotions of the piece in a way that feels scientifically removed. It's a prime example of telling rather than showing.

Your talent is immense, but your touch could use some work if it's going to match it.

[veritas]

He spoke to future me.

I unno I always enjoy ur sht
its like concious/intellectually dope to me

i like ur word affiliation (boat/ship) and use of homonyms (pride/pried) to drive ur point
i hear what some ppl are saying about informative vs emotion, but in all honesty i feel the tone works bc its structured like a possible buisness letter (lol) like a memo of sorts.
but word, the lions den/tireless/hovercraft was the standout among a bunch of other dopeness. Conceptually i feel u had at least one dope idea in each stanza tho, and nothing was overly complex that it would go over heads, but still spoke on pretty complex ideas...So u did a good job with that, and flow wise this was on point.

I enjoyed this bro.

[namix]

good looks @ all of you guys - it's solid feedback. makes sense, and i will experiment with having the more emotional/personal touch to my drops for sure.

for what its worth, when i bring up the difference b/w PR and here in feedback terms - the reverse happens to some of my drops too (better feedback here than PR), i think there is something to be gained from BOTH -- but definitely two clear preferences on each


but again, good looks ya'll. i was starting to get into a mode of extremes between straight-up-diss and super-technical-topical. tried to pay more homage to the flow in this, but i'll definitely experiment with the more emotional/personal touch yo. 'preciated.

[Dove Dozer]

i loved this all the way through to be honest. great read

[namix]

Originally Posted by nO gOoD!

i loved this all the way through to be honest. great read

thx brotha

[Terror wrist]

Nice. It looked complex to me. though, i didn't stress myself trying to get what this piece is all about... But i was able to pick some usefull, intelligent, hidden, ideal info in some lines.

Your rhyme scheme was superb. Nice diction with flow (like u said:)u spent time on it).

All in All, it looked poetic. Its a resourceful masterpiece for ideas.

You wrote this in 2010 ??

[brokenhal0]

great i mean its hiphop one o 1 i like the chill it has man even if its subjects that some might feel are easy to touch on your delivery was really refreshing its a rhyme skeem thats
simple yet complex and you did a good job with it this would make a great song

[namix]

Originally Posted by Terror wrist

Nice. It looked complex to me. though, i didn't stress myself trying to get what this piece is all about... But i was able to pick some usefull, intelligent, hidden, ideal info in some lines.

Your rhyme scheme was superb. Nice diction with flow (like u said:)u spent time on it).

All in All, it looked poetic. Its a resourceful masterpiece for ideas.

You wrote this in 2010 ??

naw I wrote it when i posted it here bro --- Generation Alpha started in 2010 (the generation after generation Z)... and goes through 2025 or something I think -- though generational start/end dates vary depending on the source.


thanks a lot for the feedback though pawtna

and @brokenhal0, real good looks bro much appreciated.

[Dove Dozer]

@namix you get my pm?

[Eŋg]

whattup namix. i think the written style i see you're with equipped with... you've refined over many a year. i can appreciate its ostensible simplicity but deceptive depth... treading shallow waters then realising you can't swim. but yo, i haven't read a lot from you, but what i have is similar. re-purposed proverbs. proverbially... put in some pinches of your personal philosophy, sell it to the reader with a nursery rhyme rhythm. you're good at what you do, would like to see you just go nuts and experiment. not a flex, i mean you can if you want, but it gets to the point your verses familiarity feels predictable. you got skills, let them dictate to you instead of dictating to them. know what i mean? idk what i mean. just write.

the bottom line is the kinda mind, not the kinda rhyme.

pz namix.

[Terror wrist]

So am reading this again, but with the voice of George the poet, mentally vocalising it in form of spoken poetry. 3yrs after and am mentally better equipped to resonate with your poetic write up and appreciate your ingenious creativity with respect to the "rhythmic ryhme interlude" (see! I just christened the words made in bold.) Howbeit so I wrote with a similar pattern last year,but mine was a repetitive format.
its just feels like a skill employed by poets who dig deep into their works.
i envy your pen sire.
Keep it bleeding.