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Old 02-24-2018, 06:17 PM   #1
sral
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Exclamation OFFICIAL HOT OR THOT 2018 PRE-MAG VIDEO THREAD!!!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!




Waddup MOTHERFUCKERS!

So will finally arrive at the face of what promises to be an early contender for tourney of the year in HOT OR THOT 2018! We all know why we're here. The rest of the board and probably yourselves were all wondering exactly how this would play out, and now we're about to see what materialises. This is the most innovative format of picture dissing the board has seen so far, and we're hoping everyone shows up to show out. This isn't the place for losers. If you made the cut it's because you've already proven yourselves willing to take things a step further than anyone else by submitting the required pictures and adding your name to an exclusive list of real motherfuckers. Many NCGs talk shit. Few walk the walk like you're about to, and for that you all have my utmost respect. So salute to you all for actively getting involved in this shit man, I respect that and will rep all once they've shown in round one!

I even recorded the video magazine while my daughter was asleep on me because I wanted to show you all that I was dedicated to this cause and nothing will get in the way of me prioritising this tourney. I am a man of my word, 100%, and all I expect of you is exactly the same in return. Don't just talk about it, be about it. I'm exactly who I am online. I love this shit. I live this shit. I got crazy love for you all that show love to me. I've been working on this pre-mag throughout my day and I work weekends too so that tells you how much time I set aside to make this happen for you guys man, I didn't disappoint, and I don't want you guys to disappoint. This tourney idea has all the hallmarks of a fucking FUN ASS EVENT and I intend to keep it that way right throughout.

LETS MAKE THIS A CLASSIC!

@Useless @Silver @Barcotic @Jay Welsh @Orc @Schadenfreude @Cred @Objective @Adonis @Nick James @Hearder Hearder @2tripple0 @Suthaveli @Destroyer @Killing Spree @bleak

We're about to find out what your exes look like as verses get posted throughout the week, but for now though let's take us a closer look at the combatants we have involved this year for Hot or Thot 2018!


Battler Bios:

Silver: The deliciousest peach in the game, Netcees current female twerking champion and undisputed Open Mic maestro herself Robreezy throws her name in the ring for her first ever competitive text tournament here. Or at least, the first in recent memory. Robreezy is an unknown quantity at this point, and even if her verse isn't that highly anticipated, surely a pic of her ex will be. Right? It sure is with me. I'm not expecting a great deal in truth, but she was kind enough to at least sign in which makes her more of a man than the majority of you so called NCGs. We have a standby in place in case she does fall through so we're not too worried!

Chance of winning:
Chance of being a decent human being:

Objective: The norweigian nomad returns from his self imposed exile after a loss to Lars to throw his ex under the bus, mainly to mock at her misery furthermore according to him. Although he may be known as more a topical head these days, I believe Objective used to take part on a Norweigian battle board in the past so he may well fair better than first thought. Objective isn't here to make the finals, he's here purely to laugh at his labour of love. He'll have fun no matter what happens, and that's essentially the game here. If he gets a win while doing so, all the better! From what I've seen of him in his stay here, he's far too nice a guy to win this shit.

Chances of winning: 0.002%
Chances of being a decent human being: 99.98%

Nick James - The unemployed spherical-earth theorist and Spice dealer has returned to NC with a bang, and my God is he determined. Nick has been killing the Write Week shit recently and signed into all leagues and tourneys going. He was also the first to submit his exes pics here, which shows his intent. He means business. No fucking around. Nick is a G. If he doesn't get burned out oversaturing himself, he's a shoe-in for the business end of the tournament IMO. His girl isn't too bad either. The board will enjoy seeing more of her no doubt. Let's all hope he advances.

Chances of winning: 85%
Chances of being a decent human being: 15%

Adonis the 5'2" - Adonis gets the utmost respect for posting pictures of his actual WIFE for the tourney here! Why he would submit that is anyone's guess, but fuck it. That's his look out. I hope she sees it. Lol. Apparently he is seeking some new insults to roast her with. Personally I feel he'd have been better off spitroasting the bitch, but different strokes for diff folks I guess haha! Adonis may not have much chance of winning, and it's doubtful he is a decent human being either after this. But either way you have to respect a man willing to share his nearest and dearest for a tourney of this nature. Brutal.

Chances of winning: Slimmer than his wife.
Chances of being a decent human being: Zero

2Cripple0 - 2Crip is another unknown quantity here in the same vein as Silver. We aren't expecting a lot more than a first round exit, but again, he stepped up to take part and shared a pic so hard off to two triple O the goon for taking part in the spirit of the competition. Real gutter G shit. If he makes it out of round one I'll PayPal him £10 myself. I can't say fairer than that. This is gonna be tough on young Crip Dawg yo, but I was surprised at his ex - I thought she would look a lot worse in truth LOL!

Chances of winning: 1%
Chances of being a decent human being: 20%

Schadenfreude - Schad is another NBL regular and general dope battler having champed the RBL formerly and has been around the boards a long time. He knows what needs to be done. I'm not so sure I've seen him in many pic battles but I've no doubt he will have bars in this. The guy has to be a contender for sure to champ the entire thing outright. When he's on his A game, he's unbearable. Current LO champion too which seems to put him in good said. And his ex is a banger.

Chance of winning: 90%
Chance of. being a decent human: Less so because of his German side. Blame Hitler.

Barcotic - Barc AKA Shark Tatt AKA self titled dual wordplay pioneer AKA wordplay isn't forced in a French Canadian accent apparently AKA RB's best battler but only upper mid tier at NC. LOL all jokes aside, Barc been on a good run of late and I was feeling him in the Winter Classic tbc. I'm glad he's in. He loves pic battles and this tourney offers him the chance to have fresh concepts and punches against never before seen pics. This is right up his alley. He's motivated. He's writing regularly and seemingly had bars for days, even if they're from URL. Lol okay I couldn't help myself with that last one, but on a more serious note I'm glad he chose to get involved because when he isn't pulling out of NBL championship battles on short notice, dude has some fire. I'm expecting a very good run from Barc here. Semis if not finals to be truthful. Definitely one of the top seeds here in HoT18.

Chances of winning: 90%
Chances of being a decent human: Considerably lower given his Monster Energy tatts.

Killing Spree: I can't even lie, KS isn't that known to me to be completely honest. Maybe I'm sleeping on a giant. Maybe not. As far as I know KS hails from RB, never heard his name mentioned amongst the great tier but even a retard can lick a window clean once in a while. This is his opportunity. There are some easy matches here depending on seeding, and with a bit of momentum behind him, who knows, KS could scrape a few wins together I guess. He has a better chance than Robranda and 2Crip at least. KS gets my respect for even stepping up in this format so I've got love for him at least even if he goes out in round one. Guys a hero for going where others have never before.

Chances of winning: 20%
Chances of being a decent human: Probably not high as he's from RB.

Bleak - Motherfucking Bleak AKA that compliments battle with Swerve AKA he climbed texts Mount Rushmore and took a pic at the summit AKA wtf bro? LOL for real I actually like Bleak as a character. I just don't think he's there with text yet. He needs to find his lane. Judging purely from THAT battle with Swerve, he didn't have a lot going for him in pic battles. The idea is brutal disses or straight up clowning your opponent to fuck and he lacked in both areas tbh. He's a nice guy, but nice guys don't make for great battlers. Unfortunately. The great thing about Bleak though is his own ex is a true thot and he even sent me along this news article about his ex along with her mugshot as his submission for the tourney pic ahahahaha! How can you not love this guy for that? True legend and NCG in the making. I like this guy, just not enough to predict him to win.

Chances of winning: 10%
Chances of being a decent human being: 76.8%

Cred AKA Gun Bar King AKA got ill nik-A pissed he took over the LO reigns. Cred was a great addition to sign ups, maybe a little surprising as I haven't seen him active so much in recent weeks but a tourney of this much potential seems to have brought him back and a motivated Cred is a dangerous one. This should be good for him, def a contender for the whole tourney and with wins over a lot of the competition on his resume.

Chances of winning: 90%
Chances of being a decent human: 50%

Surthaveli: Suth has been around text a long time, took a lay off if I remember but had been back in the NBL recently and signed up for this crazy shit. I think Suth may be an underdog somewhat here. I've seen his battles before, but not so much pic battles from him so again he could be somewhat of a dark horse here and low-key bring the flames. I hope so at least. Suth is no slouch and if people sleep on him, he will win. With him being around so long though it's doubtful many, if any, will indeed be caught sleeping. He knows what he has to do to win. Suth got BARS make no mistake about it. I think if he picks up momentum in the later stages he could go all the way.

Chances of winning: 70%
Chances of being a decent human being: 30%

Destroyer: Destro AKA Yo Grandads Best Friend AKA 50 the new 40 AKA old as fuck but still better than you. Former NBL champion and all around bawse at text and beyond threw his name in the hat as an early entrant for this tourney which shows he means business. Destro is coming into this active and on a roll of late, so make no mistake he's here to win. He has it all, bars, comedic factor, wordplay, harsh punchlines. This tourney is ideally suited to his style and I'm glad to have him involved. He's actually one of the few here to always keep it real to his own beliefs and is a genuinely good guy man. Salute to Destro as always and thank you for signing up. This shit about to be bonkers.

Chances of winning: 90%
Chances of being a decent human being: 100%


Orc: Orc one of the flyest looking motherfuckers to grace NC, and he hasn't submitted a pic of his ex but surely we're gonna be talking a Baywatch model or something, right? I hope so at least. For that reason alone I imagine it's gonna be difficult for his opponents to fault his female of choice. That said, there's plenty of angry ugly people in the NC community with no chance of pulling a girl like that who must surely have insults for days to make up for why they would never want to be with a superficial broad like that lol. So maybe it won't be that hard after all. We'll see. Orc is current NBL champ and was the one who got in touch with me about running a tourney to begin with so he's clearly highly motivated right now and that could spell bad news for his competition.

Chances of winning: 90 potatoes
Chances of being a decent human being: So high it puts the rest of us overweight gym dodgers to shame

Zelph AKA Hearder Hearder AKA Liplock Bag AKA I thought I tooooooold Youuuu AKA Wycleft John is another NBL convert and text battler, to be fair to Zelph he is actually a real motherfucker man. He shared pics of him with the exes, no shame to his game, even if he outright admitted to me he could be sacked if they found out he used their pics etc I am a man of my word and wouldn't hunt them down like that. I gotta salute him for trusting a troll with his livelihood yo. That's real. Zelph isn't to be slept on either, he's got bars, he's got jokes, he puts himself out there despite his deformities and I respect that. He prob had more pussy than most this board to be real. Zelph is bout it. No question.

Chances of winning: 60-70%
Chances of being a decent human being: I wouldn't like to say, officer.

Flo Real AKA Jay Welsh AKA give you the business with the left hand, Ned Flanders. This guy is a real motherfucker. I could genuinely consider him a friend outside of here. We even look alike, no bullshit. His choice in women is questionable, but who's isn't after ten pints? Jay has improved a lot recently in text, he's got some bars it's just his wording occasionally that lets him down, usually because he's drunk. I think he'll do okay here, possibly reach semis if he pulls a few upsets and catches people sleeping. I hope he does at least. Genuinely good guy and gets overlooked somewhat in text I feel. I think he's one big win away from realising he's actually better at this than he thinks and starts putting in maximum effort. That's real talk. I'm hoping this tourney gives him the ammo needed to really bring the best out of him so he actually tries. This was his brainfart and it's a brilliant one, so hopefully he'll keep those coming.

Chances of winning: Will increase the further he makes it into the tourney.
Chances of being a decent human being: 100%


Useless AKA Ronin AKA some other aliases we've all probably forgotten about. Useless was the last to signup, if that's any indication of his motivation then things don't bode well, but I hope not. Useless was doing well in the BA tourney recently and I really liked his wording, it was head and shoulders above the rest of them involved. He could be another dark horse, overlooked by the rest of the pack, but he shouldn't be. Every squirrel gets a nut. This will be a tough one to crack, for sure, but if he can sink his teeth far enough into it he may just find a sweet spot. That's about as far as this analogy will allow me to take it, so let's end this here for all our sakes.

Chances of winning: 49%
Chances of being a decent human being: 83.5%

HOT OR THOT 2018 MATCH-UPS

So now we've introduced all our participants, let's take a closer look at the matchups for this first round. These were all seeded accordingly and paired up by our good friend @Infiltration (aside from @Orc vs @Useless which was a first round match-up requested by Useless himself)

East: Flo Real vs Schadenfreude; Nick James vs Killing Spree

Midwest: Suth vs Silver; Destroyer vs Adonis

South: Cred vs bleak; 2trip vs Barcotic

West: Orc vs Useless; Hearder Hearder vs Objective

We could insert a tourney bracket graphic here of some description but for now I've no idea how and would have to make one myself. I'll see what I can get done for you guys:

http://challonge.com/tournaments/bra...ref=PG4tB4L15p


Battle Predictions:
by Lars:

JAY WELSH vs SCHADENFREUDE

We open up with a bit of a wild card here in so much as I don't think they've faced before. Schad is probably the more known having held championships at RM and here at NC. Schad has more a street URL type style to him and doesn't really stick to your typical text formatting. He plays with it more. Flo Real has a lot of potential but we've never really seen him live up to that fully IMHO. He has bars, it's just his wording that lets him down occasionally. If he can fix that he could be a problem, but make no mistake he is capable of an early upset here. This match could well be sleeper of the round. I've got Schad in a 60/40.

NICK JAMES vs KILLING SPREE

Nick James AKA Unemployed wasted no time getting his pics in, and Killing Spree has a multitude to choose from LOL! It shows how motivated Nick is for this, and he's been in form of late competing in just about everything the forum has to offer. You have to respect that. Killings Spree is off my radar if I'm completely honest, I mean, I know he's been around but I still don't know a great deal about him other than matches I've seen him in in the NBL. He's solid enough, and I'm hoping the picture format brings out the best in him because if so we could be in for a close run contest here and I much prefer that over a complete blowout. I've got Nick with the slight edge based on what I've seen of late and the fact I'm more familiar with him than I am Spree. Nick with that 70/30.

SUTHAVELI vs SILVER

In the battle NOBODY wanted to see happen other than to see what Silver's ex may look like, god forbid, we have these two. Suth hasn't been as active of late but hopefully feeding him this scrap with keep him hungry for round two. He will surely be there. I don't think anyone expects much from Silver. This will be a bigger mismatch than her asscheeks in that twerking video. Silver best hope she actually IS Eddie and put up something resembling a fight, otherwise this will be a whitewash of Sharp in the shower proportions. Suth is the huge favourite to advance this round. 100/0.

DESTROYER vs ADONIS

Destroyer has been in pic battles before, Adonis hails from PR so I have to assume he has picture battles before at some point. In all honesty I'm not sure if he has or not. Adonis is submitting his own wife's picture would could make for some hilarious viewing depending what Destro puts forward here. I can only see this going one way. I hope I'm wrong and Donny makes a battle of it. I'm giving him a little lee way in the hopes he comes through here but I still have Des in an 80/20.

CRED vs BLEAK: This could be good. Bleak submitted a pic of his exes MUGSHOT do he is truly going above and beyond the call of duty here haha! There's plenty of ammo for Cred to put in his gun bars. Cred's submission was fire so we wait with baited breath to see what Bleak has in store for us this round, but it will be tough. Going solely on what we've seen from each of them previously in pic battles, Cred has the upper hand here but Bleak gets full respect for signing up and submitting his exes mugshot ROFLZZZZ I've got Cred winning here in an 80/20.

BARCOTIC vs 2TRIPPLE0

2Tripple0 has submitted a pic and Barc hasn't as of writing this, which makes 2Trip 1-0 up already in my book. That could well be the only vote he gets here though as Barc has been inform lately with dual wordplay pioneering and these two textual collosuses colliding can only mean lulz for the board, let's be real. I had no idea what 2Trips ex was gonna look like but I'm glad he came through correct. This should be Barcs path to round two even though I'm hoping 2Trip surprises us all with that underdog fight of the century and advances. I think he can do it. 2Trip is a G. I'm gonna play safe and give Barc the 100/0 odds this round though.

ORC vs USELESS

This matchup was actually requested by Useless so I'm really hoping he's come prepared. Dude had been dropping nice of late with great wording so I'm hoping he carries on that kind of form. Orc is current NBL champ and also challenging for the LO title so he's very busy right now, and that could come into play here. If he's oversaturated, it may give Useless a chance where we wouldn't expect him to have one. Orc isn't about to give up without a fight though. The Irish love a scrap. This one could be battle of the round if both show up like we know they can. It's hard to predict against Connor McGregor in his current run, though, so Orc gets the 70/30 decision.

HEARDER HEARDER vs OBJECTIVE

Zelph comes into this on the back of a solid NBL run where he's improved immensely, he even entered the AOWL to show he could hang (which is Objectives realm) and did well. This time however Objective is entering unknown territory. Will he fair as well as Zelph did? It's hard to say. I think with battling you either have it or you don't. This one has Zelphs experience triumphing over Objectives inexperience for me, but I could be wrong, and let's hope so. Nobody likes a boring blowout battle, do they? It's hard to look past Zelph as the victor this round. I've got it 70/30 in his favour.

Predictions
done by Zelph:

East: Flo Real vs Schadenfreude;

Flo Flo was friends with FB, but made a decision to turn against him in a time of turmoil. Flo definitely knows how to battle but his wording is iffy at times. Haven’t seen him pic battle but I’m excited to see what his ex looks like and shit. Schad is an all around dope battler, uses my style but it’s all good, he does it well. I don’t remember seeing him pic battle either but I’m sure he’ll do great. I’m going with Schadenfreude 70/30

Nick James vs Killing Spree

Nick James has proven himself to be a G, from the drugs to consistent elevation in his battling. I like this guy a lot, he has sort of a technical style but that’s because he’s been gone as hasn’t had the time to develop a style of his own. He did great in his pic battle against Barcotic, I think he’ll go far in this. KS loves pic battles, he hasn’t shown to a battle in ages and most recently lost to Mr. J LMAO. He has the potential to post some good lines but I doubt he’ll even show for this tbh. I’m going with Nick Jonas 65/35

Midwest: Suth vs Silver;

Suth will catch a body, but I just wanna see Silvers ex bf tbh lmao Mexican muff. Suth is decent at text, but he’s just an overall weird boarder. Silver is gonna post some funny shit I can’t wait lol. Suth 55/45

Destroyer vs Adonis

Destroyer will win, I like Adonis but I beat him in the AOL league for topical. Des has a funny dry humor type of style which can either be a hit or miss. We’ll see how he does here. Destroyer 80/20

South: Cred vs bleak;



2trip vs Barcotic

West: Orc vs Useless; Hearder Hearder vs Objective

PRESIDENT LARS PRE-MAG VIDEO!




Random Video of Zelph Arguing With An Ex





So there we have it, our bracket of 16 to start the tournament! I thank each of you for showing immediate interest and let's have a lot of fucking fun with this, guys. You placed your trust in me, and I've delivered. Now it's time for me to put my trust in you to show up and show out.


LMAO and WTFs of the week

LMAO at this idea for a tournament!
WTF at so many of you willing to share your ex girlfriends with the biggest troll on the forum?!
LMAO at my shocked face when I opened 2Tripple0s submission. She was a keeper for you bruh.
LMAO @ Nick James entries though... sheesh!
WTF @ Silver randomly signing in?!
WTF @ Adonis entering his wife. No pause.
LMAO at the matchups this round, this about to be CRAZY!!!
WTF @ this not happening before?
LMAO @ THE NAME HOT OR THOT. ONLY AT NC WOULD THIS EVER GO DOWN!
WTF @ Useless requesting an inform Orc first round! O_O
LMAO @ how great this is about to be! I, for one, can't wait! Let's put on a classic, people!
WTF @ that Zelph vid again

SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!

Peace!!!!!
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Last edited by sral; 02-24-2018 at 06:27 PM.
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Old 02-24-2018, 06:21 PM   #2
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Amazing. Lmfao good fuckin shit
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Old 02-24-2018, 06:28 PM   #3
sral
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FUCK YOU ZELPH FOR NOT LETTING MY DAUGHTER SLEEP FAGGOT

IM GLAD I SENT OBJECTIVE ALL YOUR PICS NOW
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Last edited by sral; 02-24-2018 at 09:47 PM.
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Old 02-24-2018, 06:34 PM   #4
Flow
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Location: West Mids
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Battle Record: 57-49

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Flow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant future
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Zelph you fool who you think said to unban you. Turned against you pssssht.
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Old 02-24-2018, 06:34 PM   #5
Flow
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Posts: 3,861
Battle Record: 57-49

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- 1-2 Punch league Season 9

Rep Power: 24894577
Flow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant futureFlow has a brilliant future
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@sraL feeling the love brother. Epic mag to pres lars an zelph an anyonr else involved
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Old 02-24-2018, 07:58 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay Welsh View Post
Zelph you fool who you think said to unban you. Turned against you pssssht.
I thought you were loyal. Silly me. FB is DEAD regardless. Move on man.
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Old 02-24-2018, 08:00 PM   #7
Flow
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hearder Hearder View Post
I thought you were loyal. Silly me. FB is DEAD regardless. Move on man.
Heres looking at you kid
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Old 02-24-2018, 09:19 PM   #8
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@sraL D-kom!
I've been trying to figure out that guy name for a min! Thank you.
Yes, he was a savage. Damn, i wonder what happen to him?
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Old 02-24-2018, 09:33 PM   #9
Nick James
death to amen
 
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vote lars to run all future tourneys

lol
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Old 02-24-2018, 09:53 PM   #10
sral
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LMAO THIS IS ONLY THE PRE-MAG... NOTHINGS EVEN HAPPENED TO COVER YET!

ROUND ONES MAG WILL BE CRAY!
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:14 PM   #11
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lol ikr

u on ur way with this one
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:17 PM   #12
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well done mag.
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:18 PM   #13
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Heres looking at you kid
Idek what this means I’m not fucking British
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Old 02-24-2018, 10:57 PM   #14
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Read the whole mag. Pretty entertaining. Humourous even. Funny muddafuckas. I look forward to see how this unfolds.
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Old 02-25-2018, 12:00 AM   #15
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LMAO GO CRAAZY @sraL
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Old 02-25-2018, 04:20 AM   #16
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Idek what this means I’m not fucking British
Its not a british saying you spoon
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Old 02-25-2018, 05:24 AM   #17
i eat shit 2018
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I’m ready to see these thotties!
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Old 02-25-2018, 07:00 AM   #18
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lol ikr

u on ur way with this one
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well done mag.
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Originally Posted by ACTIVATE SELF View Post
Read the whole mag. Pretty entertaining. Humourous even. Funny muddafuckas. I look forward to see how this unfolds.
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LMAO GO CRAAZY @sraL
APPRECIATE IT, SIRS!!!

I DO THIS FOR YOU ALL
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Old 02-25-2018, 11:35 AM   #19
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This was so dopeeee. Great stuff man. Zelph video was funny too
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Old 02-25-2018, 12:15 PM   #20
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vote lars to run all future tourneys

lol
Yo not posting today I’m super drunk


Mag is dope!!!!
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