02-15-2018, 06:11 PM | #1 |
death warmed over
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Downstairs illstreet dam
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the family don't ask questions
the family don't ask questions
by 2tripple0 theres always a reason before a hit forces itself in so I roll a blizz and rethink my life since a soldier'll end it on a whim they'll put an end to beef before it get to that point anymore so nobody feel like stepping when we aint kids like we was before i wanna create a life first before i go I haven't thought things out tho I mean this one young girl fill me with warmth like a cup of joe but she ain't figured if I can make that real cash when I drop the flow so I kick it with my boys just thinking even though we tired a shit yo the street seem like the only life we can live so before you can speak you gots to know the deal its real right that's why it's so hard to succeed I'm a true g with an eye for making dudes gasp from what I seen so even though everyone lay low we still gotta make this cash see cause maybe we just make this loot and came up a bit too fast er whatever but sometimes ya enemies know you the best and they listen to ya shit but my thoughts still don't seem to address the only ones close to me seem to be just a few true dudes they throwdown on my lines so i hide them where there aren't any clues this shit is real I gotta stay deep pull some shit out quick that i can drop since this rap game aint hard but still nothing get past the block I gotta rethink my shit cause we can sit here talking about all this shit but I guess there ain't much out there cause I've already put an end to it so now I'm leaving a little freestyle for my boys to relate to if you understood there'd be nothing left out there to explain you... since i was 14... i been running deep even when there was nothing left to do...
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02-19-2018, 11:14 PM | #2 |
White Earl
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Enjoyes this. I think people be sleeping on 2tripps message half the time. Writing is drawn out a lot. This one is a little better as far as the rhyming goes imo. I think trip got some gems in all his verses though if you look for it. Good shit dude. Keep writing
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02-21-2018, 01:59 PM | #3 |
Senior Member
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need some improvement, flow was real choppy, shorten up the syllable count per line and focus on condensing them to fit in smooth multis, which you also need to work on.. content was decent, just get the rhymes, multis and structure down and you can elevate reeeal quick, keep it up!
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02-28-2018, 02:01 AM | #4 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
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Champed - Art of Writing League
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Hey man...its nice to see you trying. great job buddy!
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03-04-2018, 09:33 PM | #5 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
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2trip the truth tbh
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04-30-2018, 02:16 PM | #6 |
death warmed over
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Downstairs illstreet dam
Posts: 2,564
Battle Record: 6-21
Rep Power: 0 |
Thanks guys thats great feedback brothers
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