09-20-2020, 09:57 AM | #1 | |
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Falling from the Moon
My soul is tired and my bones ache, cold lonely nights I spend wide awake
Going insane with a straight face is kind of like solitary confinement with no breaks Prison escapes is all I think about, but I'm in no cage, in a total state of agony, but I feel no pain If Doc diagnosed me crazy today, I'd be OKAY, I'd watch the pieces fall in place Then implement change at a slow pace. Kind of play it by ear ya know? It wouldn't be so lonely if I could hear the ghosts. I know that's weird for most But I spent 7 years alone just because my mirror broke. So far as spirits go I try my best to keep em close, I guess that's schizophrenic tho But I don't care to live remote or swim around like fish in bowls Surviving off a chicken bone that grants me wishes, gifts, and gold Suppose that's superstitious, but I don't really give a DAMN! Can't see the forest for the trees when stranded in the desert sand Granted I take medicine to focus when I'm panicking Reading body language tryna pass their head exam I use to have a better plan consisting of a weathered plant But it was unreliable, I always use to wake up dead My dignity's intact tho, this misery's a cash flow I scribble on a canvas, my memories in flash strokes My brush feels the energy, the paint makes it synergy Splashes hit the backdrop then pain turns to imagery Brilliantly, chaotically and every other honest-'ly' I'm obviously intoxicated, huffing paint from burning paper Vapors fill my studio, I'm dancing in the midnight flame My soul for a masterpiece? It's seeming like a fair exchange Van Gogh gave his own ear! L. Wane pawned his whole brain Basquiat sold both veins. I'm guessing it's a natural thing To sacrifice for art's sake...expressions of a tortured mind I pledge my life to heartache, and pay the price the Devil fines For beauty....................
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Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 09-20-2020 at 12:54 PM. |
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09-22-2020, 04:07 PM | #2 |
Everything's Connected
Join Date: Nov 2017
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This was cool.
"Then implement change at a slow pace. Kind of play it by ear ya know? It wouldn't be so lonely if I could hear the ghosts. I know that's weird for most But I spent 7 years alone just because my mirror broke. So far as spirits go I try my best to keep em close, I guess that's schizophrenic tho" Nice... "Can't see the forest for the trees when stranded in the desert sand" Hopefully this gets some more love. @Adverse will appreciate the poetic feel of this I think. Solid writing here man. Keep it coming.
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..Passed the Present and Future.. |
09-25-2020, 10:07 PM | #3 |
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Thought this was dope. Probably the fav from you that I've read.
The switch ups in flow felt natural and was cool, great multies here n there to spice it up. Some really good quotables for sure: It wouldn't be so lonely if I could hear the ghosts. I know that's weird for most But I spent 7 years alone just because my mirror broke. So far as spirits go I try my best to keep em close ^That's fire I do feel like you missed out on an opportunity to keep your scheme going on this tho: Surviving off a chicken bone that grants me wishes, gifts, and gold Suppose that's superstitious, but I don't really give a DAMN! If you had reworded it like "superstitious, no? I don't really..." or something like that, a word with the "o"-sound in it and then fully switch it up afterwards for a more fluent transition. Another section I enjoyed: I scribble on a canvas, my memories in flash strokes My brush feels the energy, the paint makes it synergy Splashes hit the backdrop then pain turns to imagery Brilliantly, chaotically and every other honest-'ly' ^Thought this line was creative and cool Enjoyed the fluent style-changes throughout and concept you went for with the painting stuff and references. It read fluidly and thought you stitched it together well for the closure. Solid drop
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o Last edited by Objective; 09-25-2020 at 10:13 PM. |
09-30-2020, 04:31 PM | #4 |
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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I'd watch the pieces fall in place
Then implement change at a slow pace. Kind of play it by ear ya know? It wouldn't be so lonely if I could hear the ghosts. I know that's weird for most But I spent 7 years alone just because my mirror broke. So far as spirits go I try my best to keep em close, I guess that's schizophrenic tho But I don't care to live remote or swim around like fish in bowls Surviving off a chicken bone that grants me wishes, gifts, and gold Suppose that's superstitious, but I don't really give a DAMN! ^^Dope...as someome that have schizophrenia I can relate. Tight piece SELF, the emotion & imagery here really hits...so thanks. Stay you fam. |
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