Round One: Hush vs Ullr - ULLR WINS!

[sral]

Welcome, boils and ghouls!

This is the opening round of the biggest topical tournament in the Netcees calendar year. 16 entrants. 8 battles. 4 winners. 32 lines separating you and the losers bench. Do not disappoint. We have replacements on hand ready to fill-in on short notice, you WILL get a battle so please do not assume your opponent is no-showing. It’s go hard or home.

This is it.

Check-in’s are due: Fri 4th September 9pm UK time.

Verses are due: Tuesday 8th September 9pm UK time.

Topics were randomly assigned thanks to UserName. Your topic is:
@Hush
@Hades

[Hush]

Yikes .

[Orc]

My brother

[Hush]

Breathe baited .. inbox empty I just waited
Double click for likes as stress faded, new follows or the next favorite
Emotions move in a fly by .. empty souled and wide eyed
Vision blurry as tie dye ...Why ask why when you can ask WiFi
Swing of an axe, My social media hacked ... yet I feel my conscience attacked
My mouse darted foward and back as if in a room full of cats
Sometimes the truth is hard to swallow like fluoride
Trying rest my mind on Instagram that’s a site for sore eyes
the science behind fitting in seems too exotic
I’m out my element ..Why couldn’t the cool table be periodic
All helpless puppets in the play .. shadows cast by the sunlight
Shade thrown til the Wolf’s at my door ready to devour in one bite
The thought of love is trite .. I swipe left then swipe right
Tunnel of love ... the glimmer of bright at the end is easy to switch like a night light
The next man holds my damsel closer .. victim of cancel culture
World of trolling posters ... vultures circle up and down like a roller coaster
Trying to lose myself in memes .. inside I scream.. left feeling dumb
My screen has 20 windows open and I can’t jump out a single one
Closed mind with open eyes ... hold my true thoughts close inside
Emotions a series of ups and downloads .. my screens bi polarized
I’m used to creeps ... or random cyber hookups wit super freaks
Canines posed as sheep ... when the wolf’s at my door it’s typically uber Eats
All the good ideas used up.. maybe the stress is too much
Thought about it for a fortnite... been building to shoot the school up
I rather live inside the computer ..addicted .. log in as a user
Too many NPCs In my IRL RPG.. sometimes I can’t maneuver

[sral]

@Ullr aka Baron X:



```
I remember those summers, all the days that we seized
the warmth of our slumber, the grace and the ease...
how she laid on my chest, whispers grazing my neck
Our love was forever, until the day that she left...

Our hands interlocked as we swayed in the breeze -
the canvas of Autumn, her weight was braced on my knee,
My dearly beloved, in the shade of the trees,
We danced into night as we faded beneath...

The chandelier shimmered and refracted the light
cascading through the darkness, as it captured our sight
Fireflies in flight as I'm grasping her tight -
Then the dream dissolves as though a ghast in the night...

Cold sweat and shivers as I awake with a scream -
Remembering her face, now replaced by a screen...

The ghostly glow illuminates my eyes from within
Posts we wrote, I ruminate, ever silent and grim

I long to feel her touch, to be together at last
our twisted ties since severed without a tether to grasp

The weather: whipping wind, and the rain is approaching
Eyes are red and swollen with the stains of emotion
I feel the droplets sting, I can't maintain my composure
I cry up toward the sky beside her grave by the ocean

I stand before the stone where her name is engraved
my hands upon the chrome, I'll end this heinous charade...

You'll never know pain until you've tasted its depths
the strain upon your brain, bitter flavor of death
depression is incessant, can't contain or repress it
Until it reaches fever pitch, igniting flames from the pressure...

Thus the reaper gets his due, at least we're laying together...

BANG.

[Johnny 6 feet]

Hush- Great stuff man. Firmly on topic with a barrage of metaphors from start to finish. Word choice and rhyme scheme was strong from start to finish. Some stand out lines:

'My mouse darted forward and back as if in a room full of cats

I’m out my element ..Why couldn’t the cool table be periodic

Thought about it for a fortnite... been building to shoot the school up'

The imagery was vivid throughout. You said a lot in the short amount of lines you were allowed. Definitely be one to watch if you're still around as this tournament unfolds.

Ullr- On topic like white on rice. You told a tragic story of love and loss and weaved it into the image. The ending was bitter but not a shocker. Great rhyme scheme that never fell off and kept the flow of the piece smooth as silk. Stand out lines:

Our hands interlocked as we swayed in the breeze -
the canvas of Autumn, her weight was braced on my knee,
My dearly beloved, in the shade of the trees,
We danced into night as we faded beneath...

You'll never know pain until you've tasted its depths
the strain upon your brain, bitter flavor of death
depression is incessant, can't contain or repress it
Until it reaches fever pitch, igniting flames from the pressure...

You guys made this a really tough choice. I had to go back and re-read, then re-read again to make a judgement call. In technical terms there was little to call in terms of rhyme scheme or word choice. Hush had better wordplay but Ullr told a better story. It boils down to personal preference so...

Vote- Ullr, by an inch, this'll probably back and forth a lot IMO. Great work gents.

[Inno]

Hush

Ok so Okay so this was pretty dope if I'm being honest At 1st it read a little chopping Butt Once the flow started To progress it got really good I gotta say I enjoyed The metaphors That you laid out Throughout the verse. You had a real poetic vibe going that worked well
I thought you did a fantastic job with the topic You hit every angle that the picture was trying to portray. Great stuff


Ullr

Good to see you back around.ok so I thought you wrote some pretty good stuff here.It was whimsical and easy to read. The Cadence was easy to follow which helped the story progress a bit smoother than your opponents. But if I'm being completely honest your verse lends its self more to the picture you provided rather than the actual topic. Unless I'm missing something?


Overall

I dug this battle it was definitely a pleasure to read both verses. I enjoyed what ullr brought to the table but I gotta be honest I'm digging what hush for it together.his verse used the entire picture while giving it some layers. Good shut I got hush

[sral]

Ullr’s verse is wrote to his picture, that’s what he was provided with since he is filling in as a last minute replacement @Inno.

[Razah]

My screen has 20 windows open and I can’t jump out a single one


Slick.

Cool verse, if I had to sum it up, it's like a modern day depression.


ULLR, flow was butter. Verse was tied into the picture very well. The fact that it flowed pretty effortlessly gave it more of an impact to me.

I liked both verses, but I think ULLR was just more well rounded.

Hush had a couple lines that stood out, but as an entire peice, ULLR nailed it.

You made it a hot line, I made it a hot songggg.

vUllr

[Adverse]

This is a hard one to judge, and I don’t think it’s right just bringing in a different topic for a fill-in, he could have easily been sent the topic picture and wrote to it. Anywaysssss

Hush - In the same vein as Zuch did you kind of brought a more versatile writing approach to your piece, definitely felt elements of poetry but also of subtle punchlines/metaphors things of that nature. Everything in your verse felt layered like it had a double meaning and I love the way you didn’t really just use your topic pic for a backdrop but more so worked around it and dissected it throughout the piece. From all the social media name drops to the mention of the wolf shadow. It was dope.

Ullr- I liked how smoothly this read and how poetic in nature it was, it transited seamlessly and was just a nice read throughout. I don’t know if there’s much more to say other than it was nice, it was an easy read and some good imagery and flow throughout. The end didn’t grab me but it was a solid conclusion

Think I’m leaning Hush here, his imagery and story just resonated with me a lot more personally. Both were good but I wish I could have judged this with you both doing the same topic the outcome may have been different

V/Hush

[Bladed Thesis]

Hush: Really dug the take on the picture and felt you played into the internet cafe vibe that goes along with the picture. That being said I felt it was a little indistinct in the take on the topic. You touched on a lot and contained a lot of imagery and wordplay that related to parts of the image but I didn't feel like it told a story about the picture much beyond the shoutouts and wordplay about the internet and being dissatisfied in life.

Ullr: Immediately loved how it flowed and connected together as a verse. Transitions were strong and wording in particular really benefited your verse as it was carefully done and word selection was on point. Imagery was on point and really pointed back to the picture you had as I could easily listen to this be read and look at the image and totally pick up what you were doing with it.


Vote: Ullr. Felt these were very different takes on each of their pictures, even with different pictures, the styles and ideas were so different. This is what makes topical battles so good so I really appreciated that. I felt in the end the picture is presented to be used and that plays an important role in the battle. In that regard, when I felt the skills and verses presented were pretty close, I thought Ullr was just closer to the inspiration of the picture he was given and really told us something about the picture moreso than Hush. I think Hush had higher highs in his verse but I think as an overall piece Ullr was a stronger one.

I do agree with Adverse that I felt it was unfair to give Ullr another picture as he could've very easily been given the same picture. In fact, I think it provides a possible question as to why he was given a different picture when he could've been given the same picture. I think it provides for an unfair estimate of the two because they aren't really even competing at that point. It's like judging two open mics against each other if there is nothing that connects the two together besides a thread on a forum. Unfair to Hush and Ullr even with my vote going to Ullr.

[Objective]

Hush - I enjoyed the literary tools you used in this story a lot more than the actual content. It's the rather stereotypical computer nerd, fits the picture but isn't really engaging on a higher level. The writing itself, however, is very well done. Great use of metaphors, punchlines and painting a vivid picture of a depressed and anxiety ridden person escaping life with pc/internet. Definitely a good read, do think you could have done more with it tho.

Ullr - Quite visual in language, enjoyed the story quite a bit. A classic tale of love lost but how man can't live without it, and thus ends it all dramatically. Kind of a predictable piece in that regard seeing the topic given but its execution and how you're driving the story forward is what brings it home for me, and what I felt you managed to do better than Hush in this regard.

Vote - Ullr. Hush was more entertaining but Ullr's story along with language captivated my attention in a different way and snatched my vote. That said, thoroughly enjoyed the read of both verses tho, good battle.