08-22-2018, 05:01 PM | #1 | ||
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1-2 PUNCH WEEK 10 MAG: THE WAIT IS NOW OVER
Introduction Oy! Hey loves, whee-uh bock a-gain with the 1-2 Ponch Week noine maaahgazeen. Oy am delighted to bring to you this fantastic holiday special, inspired by our good friend Blue Bayou. American: Some if you may know him as a legend, and some of you may know him as the poor mans Barcotic. Well folks, he has dropped one helluva punch last week that I feel needs some special recognition. BECAUSE SOME OF YOU OBVIOUSLY DIDNT UNDERSTAND THE WORDPLAY. So without further Uh do. Interview between Plot & Big Bolo! Quote:
Battle Reviews LR: BodySnatcher (4-3) vs. Chyeahhh!!! (4-3) Yooo this was a fire ass battle right here. Both brought great concepts to the table that were done effectively, and the creativity was on point for both participants. Chyeah had a line about Trident gum that was tied in with greek gods and ancient Roman civilization. BodySnatcher had a punch about digging out your bitches walls like el chapo which was dope and ended up grabbing the win for him. BodySnatcher took this one home. LR: Jabari Black (5-2) vs. Knucklehead (0-0) This here was a cool battle, unfortunately both guys dropped pretty damn late so only a total of 6 votes were generated but I don’t think it mattered because the voters seemed JB the unanimous winner at 6-0. Jabari had a nice wolverine line that was smooth and hit nicely. Knuck had a good line too but there’s been a lot of black nameplay flips on Jabari already and it took away some impact. Jabari won this one, good job guys. LR: bleak (5-2) vs. Killing Spree (4-3) Well.....bleak dropped something about carnival rides and carousel horses lmao I appreciate the attempt but it didn’t work out bro. Killing Spree had something called bieksa which isn’t even a word because I just typed it out in Microsoft word and the red squiggly line appeared sooo. What’s up with this battle frfr? Lol you guys are both good when you want to be but this was soft. KS ended up winning here. LR: Flow (6-3) vs. DynamiCz (2-3) DynamiCz had a nice tommy flip on the show Power and it hit pretty well. Tommy pop like Tony Teresa, good shit. Flow on the other hand acted like he didn’t care and dropped a super light bar about dyna spitting concepts from the AOL dile up connection and it was just bad. DynamiCz definitely won this one with some ease. LR: Blue Bayou (8-1) vs. Diablo 2-0 This was a cool battle here, both dropped nice concepts but only one was done pretty good. Blue had a dope line about dancing with the devil immoral technique song and the fans seemed to love it. Diablo had a cool concept but failed to execute the bar with impact. Blue came up with the win here. Props to both, especially blue because he’s been feeling a little blue like a small penis. Destroyer (5-3) vs. Plot (4-3) Lol this shit was pathetic. Des started crying super early about who knows what, oh wait we do know what, he started crying about people voting against him “wowwww who knew?!” Poor Plot, dropping a nice bar and then Des gonna go ahead and ruin another battle just so he wouldn’t take the complete L. Plot Wins lol. DMS (3-1) vs. Ghost1 (2-3) Cool battle here, both dropped fairly early which is always appreciated and a lot of votes came in because of that. See the benefits of dropping early guys? Ugh. Anyways, Ghost dropped a pretty cool line about DMS’ drunken father that people seemed to like, and DMS dropped a hot hunk of dog shit. Nah his bar was just very wordy and long winded. DMS gotta work on shortening your bars and getting to the point, you definitely have some cool concepts - you just gotta make your punches complete. Twodrop (3-4) vs. MMLP (2-3) Pretty good battle between these two guys. MMLP came to work with a solid personal about screenshots, and Twodrop came with a bit of an obscure concept but was pretty good when you researched what a Triple Dike was lol sheesh. This was a close battle in the end and really just boiled down to voters preference. The majority decided that Twodrop came with that good good and elected him the winner of the battle. Good job guys, props on showing and voting on battles as well. Chyeahhh!!! (4-4) vs. Killing Spree (5-3) I personally wasn’t the biggest fan of this battle, I thought both guys dropped a little below average considering their skill levels. Chyeah posted a bar about Master P’s brother silk the shocker that seemed to get the majority of votes. Killing Spree had what I THINK was a decent concept but I’m not sure, the wording there felt very rushed and not too clean. People gave KS a pretty hard time and kindly handed the win over to Chyeah. Contenders Match: Jabari Black (6-2) vs. Barcotic (5-2) Lmao great fuckin battle right here guys. Jabari had a pretty dope punch that was creative and worded nice. Execution on point etc, good shit. Barcotic on the other hand...lol. The punch didn’t suck but the pronouncitation was all the way fucked up. Either way, before I even fuckin opened the thread for votes he was in there crying and swaying up a storm. Nothing new. But it’s a shame because I was rooting for him to champ this. Oh well. Jabari won it. Champ Match: Blue Bayou (9-1) vs. Flow (6-4) Now now, there there, aside from all the crying and whatever, people thought that Blue came with a dope punch. Excuse me for not knowing what a Christmas cracker is and how it ties in as a gun bar lol I’m not a Brit. Aside from that, this was a cool battle and definitely entertaining. Flow had a bar about crying on ones shoulder once you receive a loss, and most people just weren’t feeling it. Flow is my boy, and we always talkin, but this was a rather weak showing bro. All crackers aside, Blues bar about holiday treats was pretty good when you do your research, extensive fuckin research. Good showing and props for always voting on other battles and being on time. Blue won it and remains our current champion. LR: Jabari Black (7-2) vs. Flow (6-5) Ok let’s stop the bullshit for a second, it’s no secret that flows been dropping pretty damn weak lately. Wtf is up with that? The last fire verse I seen from you was against Ryno in the SC, you been slacking bro. In this battle Flow dropped a bar about hitting JB with a drum two times and beat him up with a pistol then someone’s gonna come to the scene and scream “BA dum ping!” Yeah gtfoh with that shit lmao. JB had a cool line as per usual, he’s been on his damn game ever since the BAL and he shows no signs of slowing down. He dropped a cool line that was done great and had all the right tie ins, good shit. LR: Destroyer (5-4) vs. DynamiCz (3-3) Good showing by both participants here, Des had a bar about female birth control and diaphragms. Yeah sure “Ima put a round in this pussy, he won’t see kids in this life like a diaphragm.” Yeah great line fagit, not. DynamiCz got robbed af here, he had a nice bar about smoke withdrawal and nicoderm patches and it hit well imo. But hey people always gonna vote for the best swayer soooo Des won it. MMLP (2-4) vs. Ryno (1-3) Close battle here man such a close one with so closing, Ryno won it. Big Bolo (1-0) vs. Dynomight (0-0) Cool battle here, both dropped good material that was mention worthy but Dynomight ended up snuggling the win from big Bono’s alms. Flow (6-6) vs. Cashius (5-2) Both these niggas had some gay ass punches and I regret even clicking on the thread. Ugh wtf guys. Both lose to me bt Cashius ended up winning. BodySnatcher (6-3) vs. Killing Spree (6-4) BodySnatcher vs. Killing Spree. What a bar by both. BodySnatcher! Got sticks on your back - those are body scratchers! Stupid dingus, dropped too much on a Knick for the first pick - Porzingus. Killing Spree! Type of nigga to force a shit concept willingly, Jesus you’re killing me. BodySnatcher won it. Props to both. Contenders Match: Plot (5-4) vs. Chyeahhh!!! (5-5) Good battle for Chyeah, he dropped a nice bar that got props from the fans. Plot blew it, I had placed all my monies on plot but he fuckin blew it like a stuffy nose. Hot damn bro. Chyeah won and becomes a McDonalds chicken contender. Champ Match: Blue Bayou (12-1) vs. Jabari Black (9-2) Cool battle, Jabari dropped heat and was crowned the winner. Blue dropped a controversial line - Jerry springer. Who’s saqwuille griffin? Fuckin step son of Blake griffin merged with Shaquille O’Neal? Jabawalkie had a nice line abaout giving him the pound like a milkshake. Nice. Jabari is the new champ! Predictions Champ Match: Jabari Black (11-2) vs. Chyeahhh!!! (6-6) This battle is already open for votes so I won’t comment on it much. Both dropped some hot material and I’m eager for an outcome. Truly eager for an outcome. Contenders Match: BodySnatcher (8-3) vs. Twodrop (5-5) This has potential to be a really good battle. BodySnatcher just won the BAL and closed out on some super dope shit, props for that bro. Twodrop is a continuously elevating textcee and had surprised many before with beating dope people so it’s definitely a possibility here. I hope this is a good matchup, I’m gonna very slightly lean towards BodySnatcher here and say....BodySnatcher 70/30 Cashius (6-2) vs. Killing Spree (7-5) Cashius really gets on my last fuckin nerve and if it were up to me I’d never review his battles or even give him the time of day at all, but if you battle here then you expect shit to happen and well here I am writing you all a fuckin mag on my day off. Cashius is a true piece of shit who is lazy and doesn’t vote on anything unless he needs to sway votes his way, that is literally the only time he decides to drop some dog shit lazy votes. I don’t respect people who don’t vote. For example, Cashius, King Karaoke, Diode, ill nik-A, Infiltrate, and sometimes Destroyer. Omg and what do all these people have in common? They’re old fagits who think that they’re too good to dish out votes, and their posts are soooo holy - only nobody deserves them. Foh lol. Killing Spree 55/45 Amen (3-2) vs. DynamiCz (4-5) This should be a super dope battle here, they’ve been going at it with each other for the past couple of days and some bad blood has been brewing. Can’t wait to see what Amen drops and I can’t wait to see how DynamiCz beats him to death with a stick. DynamiCz 60/40 MMLP (2-5) vs. Big Bolo (1-2) MMLP is a cool guy and definitely has all of my respect to come here every week and participate in a battle field where he’s not too familiar with. MMLP is also a consistent voter and has never no showed. Good stuff bro, win some battles because you deserve a playoff spot. Bolo is a cool guy and I think he has mad potential to be super dope. He’s already dropped some good material, but he’s had a pretty tough schedule thus far. I think Big Bolo will take this one based off talent. Big Bolo 55/45 Witty (2-0) vs. Dynomight (1-0) Witty had always been a pretty decent text battler in my eyes, he just rarely gets the itch to come battle. Only thing is, when he does get that itch, he’s always able to put on a show for us. Dynomight is clearly an Ali A’s who’s experienced in battling but I can’t put my finger on who it is. Actually I think it maybe be Junto or joog. I think Dynomight will win it here. Dynomight 55/45 Flow (6-8) vs. Plot (5-5) This has potential to be a great one. Both guys have their moments of dopeness and can also have their moments where they end up dropping something quite disappointing. Which one will they be this week? Find out next time on, “I think Plot will Win!”. Plot 55/45 John Dillinger (0-1) vs. bleak (5-4) This was a last min battle, I was personally supposed to battle John but I didn’t want to so I volunteered bleak to do it. John is a good battler and I’m eager to see what he can do in the weeks we have left here. Bleak has what it takes to be nice with it but we all have those periods where we just can’t think of anything worth a damn shit so I feel you on that bleak, I’m on the same bote. bleak 55/45 DMS (4-2) vs. Viper (4-1) I’m beginning to think that DMS is just a shit troll based on the shit he drops and the quality of votes he leaves. Half of his shit never counts when he votes, and his bars aren’t good. I thought he had potential when he beat Lenox in the SC but I was wrong. Viper is coming off a nice showing in the LR battle against chyeah and I wanna see if he can repeat the nice win. Viper 60/40 Top Punches by Jabari Black ***5*** Jabari Black (vs DynamiCz *LR*) If yo ass try to catch wreck, this choppa will leave ya whole set stretch/ Or whip the four five...n slide on em with the ‘two digits’ like a Tech Deck/ ***4*** Chyeahhh (Vs Plot) Yah death will be an open N’ shut case, think DVD’s when I’m blowing the nina Front, and get extended clips, run, yah back disc will get all the bonus features ***3*** Blue Bayou (vs Hush *LR*) parentless faggot, i'll buck shots that will rock ur eyes.. i was born to Endorphins. & those wont be the only thing Firing as i watch you die ***2*** Jabari Black (vs Flow *LR*) I’m not for play. We can scrap, bitch - fuck letting the chopper spray/ Wrong word and you’ll get slammed over a foul line...you gon need a Dr. J/ ***1*** BodySnatcher (Vs Killing Spree) Riding slow w/a chopper. U’ll get round after round like a bar hopper This was a drive-by...till I hopped out & lit up ur roof like a delivery car topper ***Honorable Mention*** DynamiCz (vs Jabari Black *LR*) Check the impact! Right Jab, then Ken Shamrock grapple on black No seafood exact...I'll have legs crackin in a building like Joe's Crab Shack Hush (vs Blue Bayou *LR*) Ya wife a ugly hooker so I ain't paying for the head she a butter face...which make sense cuz she spread it for the bread Man or Woman? The first person to make all the correct guesses gets $20.00 via PayPal or Venmo. Number 1 Number 2 Number 3 Number 4 Number 5 Number 6 Number 7 Number 8 Number 9 Number 10 Outro Here you guys go, as I’m sure you all know - people get busy and gotta drop what they have Time fore. I think I got all caught up with reviews and shit but lmk if I’m missing your battle and I’ll be sure to add it in with a smile. Playoff sign ups will be posted next week so be on the lookout for that. The top 16 who sign in for it will be selected and battles with go by seeding 1-16. HMU for any questions or concerns unless you’re a brit then idgaf. Last edited by For Battling; 08-22-2018 at 06:50 PM. |
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08-22-2018, 05:44 PM | #3 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
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To think I actually explained it to you multiple times too, and your still referring to cookies, and food, and the queen of England or whatever you rambled on about haha
Anyways, there was no wordplay in the bar sooooo, fail. I got about 3 mins into the video and I had to stop, it was too painful.... And no shaquem griffen isnt Jerry Springer lmao This whole thing was really funny throughout.... but in a it's really funny bcuz its so sad kind of way
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I had to throw my underwear in the dumpster outback Uve won" -kungfugrip |
08-22-2018, 05:46 PM | #4 |
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Thank you
Now since you fagits love dropping gay punches and fucking each other in sundresses, please respond with the 1-10 man or woman answers. |
08-22-2018, 05:47 PM | #5 |
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Video was funny lmao. Props to Jabari for his bit. Zelph you retarded as fuck tho
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08-22-2018, 05:51 PM | #6 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
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I dont understand the former part of this post
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I had to throw my underwear in the dumpster outback Uve won" -kungfugrip |
08-22-2018, 05:52 PM | #7 |
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08-22-2018, 06:06 PM | #8 |
Needs no introduction
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smh
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08-22-2018, 06:11 PM | #9 |
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That drums shit was fresh. I promise to make generic stuff from now on that people will vote for. Sorry for mixing it up last few weeks.
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08-22-2018, 06:15 PM | #10 |
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dope magazine my G
pic 7 has me dead |
08-22-2018, 06:18 PM | #11 |
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08-22-2018, 06:23 PM | #12 |
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08-22-2018, 06:30 PM | #13 |
NJ Devil
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It looks like they touched a hot iron under ur nose
U literally look like the inquisition interrogated you in witch trials
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Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
08-22-2018, 06:30 PM | #14 |
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08-22-2018, 06:32 PM | #15 |
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08-22-2018, 06:33 PM | #16 |
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08-22-2018, 06:34 PM | #17 |
NJ Devil
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With all those destrimental life qualities thank god I have two proper lips
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Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
08-22-2018, 06:34 PM | #18 |
Upset Champion
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Give me some people I can have some ammo on and I'll brutalise them. But plot. Like plot man. Wtf. An plot judged to win. Who even is plot. Oi @Plot who even are you faggot.
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08-22-2018, 06:34 PM | #19 |
Upset Champion
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Give me some people I can have some ammo on and I'll brutalise them. But plot. Like plot man. Wtf. An plot judged to win. Who even is plot. Oi @Plot who even are you faggot.
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08-22-2018, 06:38 PM | #20 |
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I guess when you don’t have a dad this is the turnout lol and you take care of another dudes baby by a girl who’s only with you cause you the only one who’d take it th next step from just smashing then dippin
I bet you’re jusssst like your mother lol |
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