"The Pegs"

[sral]

The sea breeze pinched at his bulbous nose
as he wrestled to keep each ship against the undertow.
A thunderous blow struck the keel of the ship
"Trouble below!" came the squeal from their lips.
Their leader, a picaroon known as The Peg,
uneasily shifted on his only good leg.
The Holy Celeste was losing buoyancy quick
and with no intervention, they'd be ahoy with the ship!
A guttural noise was emitted as the cannons were shelled
and The Peg voiced his decision "Every man for himself!"
The captain could smell danger coursing the wind
but would stand at the helm as he fought for his ship.
A second tortuous hit followed the first menacing blow
as the nautical nincompoop struck again from below.
The captains men were all showing their swashbuckling best
and The Celeste was still holding up, but this could be the end.
An elongated tentacle emerged from its dwelling at last
plunged from the depths and tied itself to the mast!
The Peg was aghast, he couldn't believe it,
the good leg that he had almost buckled beneath him.
Nothing he's seen in his tenure as captain
could have competed with the strength of The Kraken.
Some men had just scattered and jumped for their lives
as it's tentacles fastened and pulled them aside.
The Peg stood there despite being some distant apart
wanting to look in the eyes of this killer at large.
It's slithering arms squelch while flanking the floor
eager to shrill it the largest seaworthy scalp of them all!
The Peg gasped within awe as the giant released
a blackwater roar with its mouth open wide as the sea.
The prehensile of the creature continued advancing
silently creeping until it's tip touched the captain.
It hissed as it grabbed him by his only good leg
before sinking it's massive teeth through the bone and the flesh.
The moment The Peg tried to wrestle his life from its jaws
he'd thrown back his head screaming "Arrgh!" like no pirate before.
The captain tried to withdraw his one and only sword
but The Kracken's gigantic organs merely tossed it overboard.
With his options growing shorter by the second like his leg
all was lost, or so he thought, until remembering his peg!
Steadily he elevated his small and wooden prop
taking every single measure to ensure he struck the spot.
Before he took his shot and hit it right in the eye
forcing up his prosthesis until it finally died.
The captain might of survived despite it taking his leg
but his title was prised and he was then renamed as 'The Pegs'


ARRRRRGGGGGHHH!

[ACTIVATE SELF]

The sea breeze pinched at his bulbous nose
as he wrestled to keep each ship against the undertow.
A thunderous blow struck the keel of the ship
"Trouble below!" came the squeal from their lips.

I'm really digging how descriptive and visual your writing is here. From the jump, the danger and suspense you've illustrated with your words has me hooked.

Their leader, a picaroon known as The Peg,
uneasily shifted on his only good leg.
The Holy Celeste was losing buoyancy quick
and with no intervention, they'd be ahoy with the ship!
A guttural noise was emitted as the cannons were shelled
and The Peg voiced his decision "Every man for himself!"
The captain could smell danger coursing the wind
but would stand at the helm as he fought for his ship.
A second tortuous hit followed the first menacing blow
as the nautical nincompoop struck again from below.

Pirates aren't usually my cup of tea, but this is dope. It reads like a novel that just so happens to rhyme - impeccably I might add. I'm have absolutely no problem seeing what you've wrote. Your imagery is very clear. Mostly due to all of the time period appropriate details and the vocabulary you injected into your rhymes. From "picaroon" to "Holy Celeste" all the way down to "ahoy' and "nincompoop" - you have utilized your language to create a truly immersive experience, to the benefit of your audience. I legitimately feel like I've been tossed aboard a 16th century vessel. So props.

The captains men were all showing their swashbuckling best
and The Celeste was still holding up, but this could be the end.
An elongated tentacle emerged from its dwelling at last
plunged from the depths and tied itself to the mast!
The Peg was aghast, he couldn't believe it,
the good leg that he had almost buckled beneath him.
Nothing he's seen in his tenure as captainfat wife
could have competed with the strength of The Kraken.
Some men had just scattered and jumped for their lives
as it's tentacles fastened and pulled them aside.
The Peg stood there despite being some distant apartfat wife
wanting to look in the eyes of this killer at large.

Again, the language and the imagery are both spot on. At this point it's become a cinematic event. I think the introduction of the Kraken was a really nice surprise. It added even more suspense and danger to an already perilous situation.

Also, in terms of pure mechanics, your transitional, inner and end rhymes, were all smooth as fuck.

It's slithering arms squelch while flanking the floor
eager to shrill it the largest seaworthy scalp of them all!
The Peg gasped within awe as the giant releasedfat wife
a blackwater roar with its mouth open wide as the sea.
The prehensile of the creature continued advancing
silently creeping until it's tip touched the captain.
It hissed as it grabbed him by his only good leg
before sinking it's massive teeth through the bone and the flesh.
The moment The Peg tried to wrestle his life from its jaws
he'd thrown back his head screaming "Arrgh!" like no pirate before.
The captain tried to withdraw his one and only sword
but The Kracken's gigantic organs merely tossed it overboard.

I feel like your rhyming got very laxed here and may have taken a backseat for the sake of story progression. Most of this section is held together by internal and half rhymes. I think our difference in accents may also have had a slight effect on the way certain words were intended to be pronounced .. which obviously has an effect on the overall flow.

With his options growing shorter by the second like his leg
all was lost, or so he thought, until remembering his peg!

Flawless wording here, bro.

Steadily he elevated his small and wooden propfat wife
taking every single measure to ensure he struck the spot.
Before he took his shot and hit it right in the eye
forcing up his prosthesis until it finally died.
The captain might of survived despite it taking his leg
but his title was prised and he was then renamed as 'The Pegs'

ARRRRRGGGGGHHH!

Hahaha ...good shit, man. I dig how you hammed up the whole one leg idea throught the entirety of the verse. By making constant reference to the Peg's disability, you were able to create a sense of drama, humor and relevance with your closing line, which also brought everything full circle in the end.

This was a dope read, Baron. It had action, danger, suspense and even comedy. Furthermore, it read fluid and natural and, thanks to your vocab and attention to detail, I was easily able to buy into your suspended reality.

[Pharaohs Army]

This one caught my eye because the rhyme and meter are very much on point and you had some good descriptions too.

Activate Self is a feed champ

[dull boy]

Nautical nincompoop and mouth opened wide as the sea were standout phrases.

Wish it had ended in a less predictable way, but that doesn’t really mean anything but my own personal taste.

Cool shit.

[Twodrop]

gave me goosebumps.

liked it.

[Geno]

Awesome.

[Diablo]

This is the verse you actually no showed against @Genocide

[veritas]

Enjoyed this story. Well done.

[Exis]

Your imagery is just stupid sick...word usage was great bro, this is like some novel put in2 like what...23 lines?

Fuckin' ill.