07-07-2018, 12:00 AM | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 490
Battle Record: 12-12=4
Champed - AOWL Season IX
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wish followed in the mist kid
the buildings on a slant see the force advance
only a sheep follows laws of chance only a beast fall for the laws of man sword in hands cuttin bands you don't stand a fucking chance solar waves shape forms in squares hit the breaks cause the wall expands pans labyrinth with the hand to hands lilith kiss now sleep in the hall of plants backed out the amulet it's hazardous cant scrambled the gambit gan gambled it gang affiliate not a color more like billy the kid my signs spoke existence in a static world of resistance the instant my eyes opened its lit so we die hopeless open wide pride omen bust that pussy wide open you feel disgusted good i hope you die choking better then you never will think thats why im bitter then a dead did a ble being difficult brings of bizarre interval swings and the cymbals will ring the incense disperse spirits will sing as they enter the turf cows glow in some dirt sub terrain roman earth with half gods fat boys and loudmouths they observe cause severity slayed dragons off the roundhouse i smell jasmine the spirits are here wrapping tables wrapped with big boy drugs natural grasping of angels lucifieric jumper cables faded out feeling anxious thank god the tank is empty on the lowest plank of plankton don't own more then me i gained the world by losing nothing at all and you gained it all for losing everything at best... wish followed in the mist kid Last edited by brokenhal0; 07-07-2020 at 07:58 AM. |
07-07-2018, 12:51 AM | #2 |
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,962
Battle Record: 6 - 14
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can scrambled the gambit gan gambled it
is 'gan' a word? gang affiliate not a color more like billy the kid my signs spoke existence in a static world of resistance the instant my eyes opened I'm having trouble finding the rhyme in these 3 lines at the end of the stanza. I see Resistance and instant; that's about it. better then you never will think and thats why im better This sounds like a 2tripple0 line. then a dead did a ble being difficult brings of bizzare what in the world does this line mean? It's not even english. loud smoke in church cows glow in dirt can smoke be loud? it's a good rhyme but pretty nonsensical. cows glow in dirt? sub terrian roman earth with half gods fat boys and loudmouths they observe cause severity slayed dragons off the roundhouse Not much rhyme on these final 3 lines of the stanza either. I see earth and observe; that's about it. I'm not even gonna quote the last stanza because I thought it was even worse than the first 2. Also, you misspelled 'than' as 'then' a couple times. Sorry to be harsh but I find this to be supbar. I think you've got better in you; try again. Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 07-07-2018 at 01:02 AM. |
07-14-2018, 01:49 AM | #3 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 490
Battle Record: 12-12=4
Champed - AOWL Season IX
Rep Power: 455116 |
how can a army in the pharoah understand the pharoah of the army
gods army of pharors nah vinnie paz more like rob zombie thank you for the feed |
07-14-2018, 04:14 PM | #4 | |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,145
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