LMAOOOO HOT OR THOT 2018 TOURNAMENT FINALS MAGAZINE!!!! LOLOLOLOL

[sral]

HOT OR THOT 2018 FINALS MAGAZINE


Welcome back, boils and ghouls!

Well guys, we finally made it to this point. This is it. Two losers, one winner, and only their pride and ex-girlfriends honour on the line haha! This has been a crazy ass fucking tourney idea and all-round success so far which promises to carry on that momentum going into this last matchup. Both are one win away from gold and one loss away from knowing they couldn't even win at the thing they're good at. It's all on the line in this winner takes all clash, with the Muffin Man a clear favourite by some margin but make no bones about it, Jay Welsh has been putting in consistent performances of late and that dogged determination has paid off so far to lead him here. He won't be looking to roll over and let Muff tickle his stomach. This is a dog fight and should Jay find something to sink his teeth into, this could be a vicious and brutal fight til the end. Tears will be shed when these two pitbbulls lock jaws and that makes for a mouthwatering prospect for us all viewing. Huge respect to both competitors for their achievements so far, but all that will soon be forgotten if they don't win the one that matters both. No one cares about second place. This is your time to carve your name in NC history and claim the right to be known as the first Hot or Thot Tournament Champion. So with both finalists declared, let's have a look back on how things panned out last round, both guys journeys here, and compare the two to maybe give some insight into what we can expect from this final matchup between them both...


SEMI-FINALS RECAP!


The final four round saw Muff face off against Diablo in a heated exchange, finishing 7-3 in Muff's favour. What made this battle all the more interesting was the revelation that Muff's former flame is now a meth user and a shadow of her former self. Much to Muff's chagrin. This was never going to end well for Muffin as even if he won the battle, which he did, ultimately the war ended in NC's favour as another chapter in Mr Nigpen's colourfully chequered past was written and re-written until it became a bad Breaking Bad parody haha! This was the closest battle of the round, with Muff's clowning style ultimately winning over Diablo's creativity, but the style clash made for interesting reading and voting all the same and ended with The Muffin Man rightly claiming his place in the finals after a hard fought 7-3 victory!

Next up we had Killing Spree vs Jay Welsh go down once the weekly snowstorm of Killing Spree's life had died down, and it saw these two evenly matched competitors square off with a place in the finals at stake. This one ended with Jay Welsh dominating the votes, making it a complete blowout, largely due to the fact he picked apart several aspects of the picture and made a complete verse out of it rather than focusing his attentions solely on one angle and attacking that. I'd say if he's to have success against Muff in the final match, this is the same approach he has to find. Decimate several aspects rather than just the most obvious. Ultimately Jay ended up winning in a landslide victory that sets us up nicely for a finals with him and Muff both riding on the crests of waves right now.


TOP PUNCHLINES


Last round saw us with just two battles and four competitors remaining and heat rocks burning right throughout to a smouldering finish. Pure heat.
These guys went HAM last round...


Maan..Id mind fuck the bitches internal wiring until i see sparks
Infilitrate her mind n leave this Cat so crazy her bitchin sounds like Barcs

Jay Welsh vs Killing Spree

title shot? You suck cock for rock, fag you aint got the balls to loot me
You saw this thot dressed like a massive pussy an thought, "yo that bodysuits me

Jay Welsh vs Killing Spree

Who ever said Jay dope is Lion, Tiger is the lamest dude
Girl aint fazed face to face W/a Giant pussy..Ever since she dated U"

Killing Spree vs Jay Welsh

But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it brofat wife
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a rowfat wife

Muff vs Diablo

Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tombfat wife
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the roomfat wife

Muff vs Diablo

lmao you dated a Shebrew so you already nose she a fivefat wife
this bitch beak 'so long', you ain't farewell since she told you goodbye

Diablo vs Muff

bitch favorite flavour lipgloss is "Dick Snot" and this weirdo agrees
she a soldier though.. cuz beneath all that warpaint we still see her fatigue

Diablo vs Muff


VERSE OF THE WEEK


This week I've gone with Muff (again) arguably favourite to take the entire thing and consistently putting out that funny clowning shit that's been a staple of HoT I feel. This shit was lulzy all round but those opening six or so really set the tone perfectly for me. Fantastic stuff I thought. This guy been on some other shit right throughout HoT and is the heavy favourite for a reason. He's unbeatable in this form.

Originally Posted by El Muffin

Last rd was atrocious . but this pic is just sadder
Its clear life has it ups n Downs .. But you. just... haddd to go stick dick to the latter
But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it bro
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a row
Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tomb
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the room
This frumpy giantress u smilin w/ is scary as hell
Bro u wont power forward to the next rd postin pix of a bitch built like Kevin McHale
Lars like "I got me a librarian " all smug with a grin
I Would say she has a decent head on her shoulders but unfortunately boooth u niggas ugly as sin
Yu look this slow bich in the face "ull be my wife in a yr"
I bet when an Autism Speaks commercial comes on u fake sob n wipe up her tears
Tard chaser obviously n I commend your insistence
U got urself a Keeper bruh: . yah , She's a goalie from the Special Olympics
W/ that permanent Concussion gaze that's impossibly treated
Glasses give her Super Vision. But the bich looks like she constantly needs it
If the Bih talk to me ? Ill just aim to disperse
Coz her chins not only well pronounced - its fluent in every fkn language on Earth
Neck long af . . sets off car alarms when she gasps
"No One Chokes me durin Sex-" yeh coz it'll take like 5 ppl to accomplish the task

BATTLE OF THE WEEK


I realllyyyyyy didn't want to go with my own battle because it seems egotistical and arrogant but seeing as the only other match up was a complete whitewash votes wise, it really left no other option this week and fuck it, me vs Muff was dope all round so that's what we're going with here. Like it or not. Crazy ass battle for a semi final and again, props to Muff on his victory. The guy is incredible.

Originally Posted by El Muffin

Last rd was atrocious . but this pic is just sadder
Its clear life has it ups n Downs .. But you. just... haddd to go stick dick to the latter
But as far as this pic goes ?u had trouble timing it bro
Cameraman said cheese n this bih kept saying "I like mozzarellaaaahhhh" 20x in a row
Mannn he fucking a retard. Put this boi in a tomb
Gotta be hard to hit this bih Doggy when she barks at even the slightest noise in the room
This frumpy giantress u smilin w/ is scary as hell
Bro u wont power forward to the next rd postin pix of a bitch built like Kevin McHale
Lars like "I got me a librarian " all smug with a grin
I Would say she has a decent head on her shoulders but unfortunately boooth u niggas ugly as sin
Yu look this slow bich in the face "ull be my wife in a yr"
I bet when an Autism Speaks commercial comes on u fake sob n wipe up her tears
Tard chaser obviously n I commend your insistence
U got urself a Keeper bruh: . yah , She's a goalie from the Special Olympics
W/ that permanent Concussion gaze that's impossibly treated
Glasses give her Super Vision. But the bich looks like she constantly needs it
If the Bih talk to me ? Ill just aim to disperse
Coz her chins not only well pronounced - its fluent in every fkn language on Earth
Neck long af . . sets off car alarms when she gasps
"No One Chokes me durin Sex-" yeh coz it'll take like 5 ppl to accomplish the task

vs

Originally Posted by Diablo

lmao bitch was never wifey, taste tested your own sperm together nightly
Street Fighter II Turbo cheat.. if she down right up and left then Y, B?!
white meats nose a Pythagorean problem, not like you give a shit
aint care what anyone else sphinx when you were lion next to that pyramid
bitch legit think she the placenta of attention but the pussy be trash
if thats her 'facial' expression, I'd sooner bust a nut in her ass
prolly dumped you for Bags once Tinderella noticed the fact
black brah on her shoulder ain't supportive it's just holding her back
smoking that dank while she concealer need to lay with a real dude
you maybelline in that pic but she sure as hell ain't made up to see you



lmao you dated a Shebrew so you already nose she a five
this bitch beak 'so long', you ain't farewell since she told you goodbye
she looks so fucking tired of hearing how your misplaced jizz tastes
white bitch in need of arrest.. faggot, she Nick James with a wig change
bitch favorite flavour lipgloss is "Dick Snot" and this weirdo agrees
she a soldier though.. cuz beneath all that warpaint we still see her fatigue
one sneeze and we'll see the world end in a flood of catarrh
can't even look at that nose-width out thinking it's what pushed you apart
her pussy four stars on ClitAdvisor, you got played for a cash cow
can't make a hoe a housewife when hardwood ingrained in her background

ROAST WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT


This weeks roast saw Amen supply us with a picture of a Dominican broad with her titties out sexting him. Lol. Several entrants took part, but there was a clear winner in Cashius last week I felt, who had people voting for him before the roast was even declared closed. It's kind of hard to disagree with them as Cashius went allllll the way in on the picture. Absolute fire as always from the NC Hall of Famer himself! Huge congrats to Cashius who has aan accomplishment added and MASSIVE thank you to everyone that got involved!

Originally Posted by Cashius

That bitch got viruses...Dick prolly hurts like hell and bet it stings
Amen don’t care...Discussion already proved he’ll insert himself into ANYTHING
God pulling tricks on this faggot. Like “Watch, I’mma play with son”
He gave your wife the body of a man...and your ex the face of one
Why you always fucking manly women? Plus...they be diseased
You obviously got a Type, kid. That’s Hepatitis...A, B, or C
That bitch take ROPES! But your message was gay...Jesus you’re a pest
That hoe been getting hit with Cum Lines since 98’...and she don’t even text
She looks like she works at the Bodega. Still let the bitch feed on the hammer
She cheat on you, Fam. Ya’ll thought THIS fruit was on her head...until the Chiquita Banana
She prefers MY cock. Spanish faggot ain’t pleasin’ this down bitch
Looks like she likes the white rod in her bed but she sleeps on that brown shit
Guarantee that chick lives in a hut. Indigenous as fuck. Hell, the shit’s insane...
“XZY” ain’t code to hide from your new girl...It’s how you spell this bitches name

THE FINAL TWO



So there we have it, our final two are in place, the scene is set for an epic clash of the titans in a never-before-seen ex-girlfriend picture battle between two opponents who have never faced each other previously and both are returning heads who've made those returns in this very tournament. Pretty cool, right? I think so, at least. We did have a video breakdown from The Lime's own Bags to hear what he had to say on the prospect of these two being in the final and his thoughts on the tourney so far but it got lost when his YouTube account got zapped so here's a write-up I did before we get the battle underway:


TALE OF THE TAPE


Jay Welsh came into this tourney largely an unknown. After coming up with the initial idea of an ex-girlfriend picture tourney, he signed in when he saw it had become a reality. No one expected him to make it this far, let alone me. Since then he's claimed a few scalps, defeating Schadenfreude convincingly in the opening round to advance against one of the tourneys early favourites in Barcotic. After a hard found victory over Barc, Jay was then placed into the semi finals against a returning Killing Spree following Nick James' (another early favourite) exit from HoT Jay's path has been arguably the more difficult of the two here, but he's not here on merit alone, dude has found a way to beat everyone we thought he wouldn't and now just needs to do that again in order to champ the entire thing. The odds seem stacked against him, but he's done it before and he's proved that. Just never against Muff. Can he do it? It's a very real possibility and one were all relishing to see!

Muff's run has some similarities to Jay's but also there's differences. Muff, too, was a late entrant into the tourney - himself acting as a replacement for someone I choose to forget off hand. He was first pitted against Joe Boston in what turned out to be one of the better battles of round one, where Muff set down an early marker of what was to come with some absolute haymakers of that initial round and comedic gold. Funnily enough it was a gold medalist Olympics line that was the most quoted from that verse. I didn't plan that while writing this either. I promise. Muff advanced to face Bleak who had a savage verse against a no-showing Cred in round one, so we were all expecting Bleak to bring the pain against Muff's choice Thot in round two but Muff even managed to overcome the vastly improved Bleak to make the semi finals, where he faced a shady Diablo in a slobberknocker and again came through unscathed to stake his claim for the HoT championship. Which brings us all to this point, THE TOURNEY FINALS! One final matchup. Winner takes all. Loser goes home empty handed. Everything on the line in one last twenty line battle. You guys ready? The battlers sure are. I am too. Let's end this tourney with a massive high and make it the success we all know it was gonna be. You guys helped make this tourney just as much as I did, and I've shown how serious I've taken it, the rest is now in your hands. Let's make this one for the ages!


HOT OR THOT 2018 FINALS PREDICTIONS


Throughout the tourney Jay Welsh has opted for a very astute style and attack, choosing to insult various elements of the picture and pick up on subtleties rather than taking a direct approach and that's served him well, particularly last round, where he won voters over with his variation and variety. Following the run away success he had with that last round, it's hard to see him going any other way in this final matchup. Muff on the other hand has shown a tendency to go for clowning above all else, sometimes winning based on his haymakers littered throughout the verse rather than his consistency. This is why the battle should be so good, of course. Battling is always subjective and comes down to personal preference but I think voters will be split on this one as they have been with these guys battles throughout HoT or Thot. Muff may be avoided slightly as he has more experience and NC humour about him, but Jay has proved us wrong time and time again and him winning is a very real possibility. Don't write him off just yet. The guys one solid performance away from being crowned king and if ever there was a time to put in the extra effort then this is it.

Muff has been wilding on acid tabs this entire tourney to the point he's become NC's own Phony Montana, a characture of himself I'm sure but a very hard to beat one. Muff 2.0 seems highly motivated even with him being drawn into using The Lime as his very own confessional booth that can be a double edged sword, as so often proven, but right now he's in a good place. Every round has seen him clown his opponents creatively and those haymakers he possesses have proved lethal. His time away hasn't dulled his pen, its sharp as ever - so to see his observations and what I like to call "character assassination" because he goes beyond the visual infront of him and builds up a personality trait for the picture. Great examples of this are his Redneck Joe Boston army looking bitch that became a gold medallist loogie hocker and, of course, my down-syndrome broad from last round. Very amusing. He utilises this well and Jay could be on for a rough ride should Muff Daddy find the right angle to execute to perfection. The thing that's proven Muff's Achilles heel if you will throughout had been his inconsistency. A lot of voters commented in their votes that there were swings and misses, but those that hit were absolute bangers! I think it's safe to say Muff will also stick with his tried and tested formula here, largely of clowning and haymakers rather than trying for intricate wordplays or punchlines and you can't really fault for him for that cause of it ain't broke, why fix it? This should be a great battle to go out on and in relishing the prospect in truth. Let's send HoT out the only way we know how here at NC. Bars on top of bars. This shit is about to be LIT!!!!


PRESIDENT LARS PUBLIC ADDRESS





WTF's And LMAO's OF THE WEEK


WTF @ a Jay Welsh vs Muff finals match!?
LMAO @ Amens hat pic last week as the culmination to his recent posting marathon.
WTF @ how dope a run this tourneys had though?!
LMAO @ Flo Real coming back from textcee obscurity, changing his name, then suddenly bossing text. Amazing.
WTF @ how much Genocide fell in love with this shit?!
LMAO @ how he may genuinely shed a tear or three once this battles done.
WTF @ dull boy planning a rebuttal tourney after this is done out of nowhere?!
LMAO @ Robranda's name change to Sunny. Does anyone even call her anything by DG and Robreezy?!
WTF @ how I'm gonna miss writing these, weirdly enough!
LMAO @ Ghost1 looking weirdly like me in our video mags but then his video being lost in the YouTube void and no one ever getting to see that
WTF @ Geno eagerly freeposting in the finals thread before the battles even up?!
LMAO @ neither finalist agreeing pics yet. Both sound scared, for real.
WTF @ Me possibly having to decide which pics you both use
LMAO @ the prospect of a bigger Hot or Thot tourney for next year!

[Saint]

I aint still get my roast accomp lol

[El Muffin]

Dopppeee

[sral]

Originally Posted by Infiltrate

I aint still get my roast accomp lol

you will

just need allen knight or orc to update

[sral]

i've recorded a vid mag like 8 times for this

i'mma try again after work and get something up for you guys

then post this in Disc to get some hype behind it for finals

[El Muffin]

Dropped

Might look different by the time he posts tho .

Restrained by line limit lol . so might swap shit out as I keep at it

[Ghost1]

bro ur a fuckin maniac looooooooool

[El Muffin]

That shit was hard yeah xD

Basically had to just characterize her as a slore

Lol .

Gotta do wut u gotta do

She's hot Yknow *shrugs*

[Flow]

Originally Posted by El Muffin

That shit was hard yeah xD

Basically had to just characterize her as a slore

Lol .

Gotta do wut u gotta do

She's hot Yknow *shrugs*

Yo got my shit wrote just need to fiddle a line or two but LIVERPOOL IN THE SEMIS TONIGHT BRO so alcohol has been consumed I wanna soba proof read. Go up an hour after i wake for work which be about 8 or 12 hours from now depending hoe hectic this sesh goes. Not read ya drop yet so just gunna say fsirplay here i imaginr imma like it. So you got that long to edit. FINALS BABY

[El Muffin]

@Jay Welsh ima keep Fucking with my verse till u drop yours bro

As of now I did 22 ( accept this c'mon ur a g)

But who knows I may take a segment out n keep it at 20

Or may even think of more n add them lol

I'm crazy Lmaoo

but regardless . its the finals take alllllllll the time u need :) I am NOT accepting a no show unless u pull a nick James n completely abandon us

Extension granted just in case

Edit: oh word I know how the football hooliganism goes u def not gonna be thinking about this shit

I'm just trying to make this the best that I can . was feeling real pessimistic about it coz ur bitch the hardest pic I EVER had to roast xD but now I feel we might actually make this a good bout ! All these weird angles are emerging

Ima just do me n then if you have an issue ill adapt to meet ur needs

[El Muffin]

Only a given if u read my shit btw . if I were overly concerned about that ida just pmed Lars my shit but I ain't never give a fuck

Been posting early every round bro

[Flow]

Originally Posted by El Muffin

Only a given if u read my shit btw . if I were overly concerned about that ida just pmed Lars my shit but I ain't never give a fuck

Been posting early every round bro

I am ready to go nownwith twenty. I can easily write another bar an match 22. I just need help with getting your bitches img up cus im useless at this image tag lark an im.good to go.

If you want time to edit im ok with that too. I had a second wind an proof read so im good my end ready to drop. Want you to be happy with ehat you got before i do. Dont want a muff essay aboit being shafted if i pull the ipsrt on your mufftastic ass

[Flow]

@El Muffin im ready to drop 20 need you to come in an speak bro before i crash its 130am an im.on it

[El Muffin]

No I was tripping about how u were gonna use previous rounds pictures n was actually cpl bars in when all I had was the one you submitted

And I ain't roasting shit that was already written 4 previously

I'd rather diss a new pic regardless of how much ammo innit

[El Muffin]

Originally Posted by Jay Welsh

@El Muffin im ready to drop 20 need you to come in an speak bro before i crash its 130am an im.on it

22 . damn u dropping? Shit . I was still trying to conjure up more shit lol I been adding bars in

Go head I guess but add 2

Like I said my cue to stop is when I see ur verse coz I'm gonna keep on doing the shit otherwise

Its on u

Completely fine with that I'm just like ahhh fuck I was just beginning to have some fun xD

Go ahead I'm just really gonna miss doing this when this tourney is over :/

[Flow]

Originally Posted by El Muffin

22 . damn u dropping? Shit . I was still trying to conjure up more shit lol I been adding bars in

Go head I guess but add 2

Like I said my cue to stop is when I see ur verse coz I'm gonna keep on doing the shit otherwise

Its on u

Completely fine with that I'm just like ahhh fuck I was just beginning to have some fun xD

I wrote to you otherr ex ive had to rewrite all this. I have 20 im under the impressiom you wanted 22? If 20s good ill drop this second hit me up bro

[El Muffin]

2 more @Jay Welsh

Drop em tmrw if need be but Idk wat to edit out without breaking concept continuity

2 I want to get rid of means I'd have to get rid of 4 because they are "together" ( serious . like when u see me start off a bar with ^ it means they aren't standalone . they are transitional n can't stand without the couplet preceding it )

Ah the struggle . I legit been trying to skim to 20 but I can't comfortably do so at all without it bugging tf out of me . lol

[Flow]

Originally Posted by El Muffin

2 more @Jay Welsh

Drop em tmrw if need be but Idk wat to edit out without breaking concept continuity

2 I want to get rid of means I'd have to get rid of 4 because they are "together"

Ah the struggle .

Pm me the img tag for the pic mate i just keyed a bar to match will.drop now just need thr img tag

[Flow]

@El Muffin commmmon i wanna post

[El Muffin]

Idk how I had to have @sraL do it n I just quoted him so itd show when I posted

If u want just post ur verse n tag Lars so he can handle it

Just we won't accept votes untill that happens n obv No one will coz they can't see the pic you writing for lol