quick key - 19/01/23

Diablo · 01-18-2023, 02:11 PM

This was the BIG weekender.
It became a tipsy bender,
Drinking heavy,
bring your friends,
It’s a night you wouldn’t forget even if somehow you did remember.
A quick adventure with the lads on an out of towner
passed the roundabout,
loudly shouting,
out a minibus window full of ground up powder.
hidden down your trouser pocket. How the fuck did we all arrange this?
4am pissed
, it seemed a good idea to call the main switch board and pay since
we’d been all day drinking.
I was as drunk as a mule, the lager become the main fuel but I was soon running on fumes.
I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing,
but it was funny.
blind drunk in a bloody old minibus I could give a run for it’s money
on foot as we spluttered along. It’s exhaust coughing behind
each time we stop at the lights much to the sodding surprise
of the nominal driver behind the wheel of the car caught bobbing behind.
I’ve lost it.
My mind and my phone.
Why is the bloke driving so slow?
There still 100 miles to go.
I should have known this was a bad idea the second we left
Ever regret something after agreeing to it?
Never again.
Yes, we were friends, but I use that term in the politest possible way
We liked getting off of our faces but all us guys were horrible mates.
A holiday may have sounded good after a twenty jagerbombs
but now I’ve to pretend my babymom doesn’t exist until I get there later on.
I might text her.
Maybe not.
She’s probably with someone else.
I’ll buy her the biggest cock shaped stick of rock, so she can go fuck herself.
Only another twelve beers to go and the crate will empty
My mates are already racking up, they’ve got the taste for more bevvies,
I blast a line straight to my head piece and I’m suddenly floating
must think I’m joking, I hear another can of Fosters just being opened
drunkenly coasting to Blackpool with beers on the ice box
really we’re quite fucked already, but there’s no sleeping on my watch.
Me and the guys plot where to go once we get there
cigarette smoke meets fresh air as our mate then folds like a deckchair.
It’s bare jokes as we get their nose and rub it in
their own disgusting sick. He never holds his fucking drink.
So we roll up in the minibus reeking like a brewery
people think we’re stupid but it’s really nothing new to me
I have a breather, 2 or 3 more drinks and I’m set
couple whiskeys no less, you know, just to give me an edge
pretty much bless at this point in a shirt I’ve ironed drunk
bit burnt beside the cuffs, but that won’t hurt we’ll find a club
I burp in line and something tells me the bouncers a knob
keep looking round me because with my mates it’s bound to kick off
“£6 for a shot?!” is fucking laughable prices
I ask her politely to pour it back in, I’m swiping
casually pints swigged off tables that aren’t even mine
Bacardi and lime?
ill take it.
What’s that, Carling?
alright.
It’s getting harder to find my friends as we’re all separated
There’s plenty ladies but I can’t remember names better yet their faces.
I’m demonstrating on the dance floor, hands all over this sort
at most she’s a four. you know that I’m talking sober of course
“I’m Flo…” she ignores me. “Flow off of Netcees”
“I mostly just get beat over and over and-“ then she
starts groping my testes. I couldn’t believe my luck
she hadn’t even looked in the 1-2 league so I could show her my recent punch.
We get up and leave the club, heading back to hers
and I’ve never snagged a bird since with breath as bad (or worse)
I mean every damning word out of Hayley Tosis mouth
would make you throw up now if she came too close somehow.
I ate her roach clip out for twenty minutes or more
started to feel a click in my jaw, and it wasn’t from the shit that I snort
My fingers were sore from blasting her fanny so quick
so I wrapped up my dick with an expired condom I had with me “Bitch,
who’s the daddy?” Not him I bet that she thought
wet at the thought of my yogurt slinger about to enter her drawers.
She gets on all fours in the doggy position
I’m not even stiff, I’ve gone soft in the middle
of watching her strip, flabby body and tits,
sloppy admittedly — but I’d still probably hit.
I’m on holiday, innit?
Every hole is a goal
so I try rolling her over while holding my nose.
every fold has a roll, it’s like origami
I’m proper starving, tried to munch her kebab but I got an arse cheek
I prop an arm reaching up to cover her face
fucking the brain cell out this dumb bitches skull as she waits.
I’m too drunk to be saying no but she’s an utter disgrace
she’s lucky I’m wasted, otherwise I wouldn’t touch it with Wayne’s.
So I’m grunting away on the job in this laborious task
war-horsing my back into it with force when it snaps!
Only I’d already blasted my bavarian slice
unaware at the time I was about to get the scare of my life.
I barely survived the next 30 minutes with my heart in my mouth
harbouring doubts on if my ugly would start crawling out
i told lardy to bounce to the living room and ring me a cab
to be fair she did as I asked quick as I zipped up my pants
then I split in a taxi and headed back to my B&B
without anyone thankfully seeing me & I’m glad cause I needed sleep

when I got back from that bleeding weekend my missus was livid
bitching and bitching, all about the bitch that I’d been with
I figured I’d hid it from her but apparently not
that bitch had gone on Facebook sent her screen grabs and the lot!

Pharaohs Army · 03-09-2023, 10:51 PM

***Skipped.
DID NOT READ.... reserved for FEED when I'm done writing
& not to be influenced (more).

Diablo,
the TITLE... ALL it takes. I know it's out here on open mic
I don;t have to fucking read it yet.
The title STRIIIIINGS ME along, tiny eye-candy-links-all-over...
thanks, sensei./MASTER (#4 at least?)..
I feel my abilities and (at LEAST decent wit [when coherent]), and the jocking-mocking-following of you, lol, has (somewhat)prevented your bully nature from ABSOLUTELY destroying me at some point over the last 8 years....Lol,

Our topical match is DUE BY MONTHS END????
IF @Frank does not resume & Spin&battles remain dead!??

Keep keyin,
(like who cares that we're old men, if keying is easy AND quality ENOUGH (these days),,, why not spend a little time doing it until I retire @40 like @Destroyer)...
Oh yeah, if U win that Topical on me (with legit voting)I am forbidden from tagging & namedropping the site....

Just re-iterating all this Lars... Carry on. Feed here soon on this key if it deserves/needs any

emcee squared · 04-21-2023, 05:18 PM

up
non-pharaohs

01-18-2023, 02:11 PM	#1
Diablo Badgerdick Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Showdown City Posts: 2,604 Battle Record: 11-2 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 22685548	quick key - 19/01/23 This was the BIG weekender. It became a tipsy bender, Drinking heavy, bring your friends, It’s a night you wouldn’t forget even if somehow you did remember. A quick adventure with the lads on an out of towner passed the roundabout, loudly shouting, out a minibus window full of ground up powder. hidden down your trouser pocket. How the fuck did we all arrange this? 4am pissed , it seemed a good idea to call the main switch board and pay since we’d been all day drinking. I was as drunk as a mule, the lager become the main fuel but I was soon running on fumes. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing, but it was funny. blind drunk in a bloody old minibus I could give a run for it’s money on foot as we spluttered along. It’s exhaust coughing behind each time we stop at the lights much to the sodding surprise of the nominal driver behind the wheel of the car caught bobbing behind. I’ve lost it. My mind and my phone. Why is the bloke driving so slow? There still 100 miles to go. I should have known this was a bad idea the second we left Ever regret something after agreeing to it? Never again. Yes, we were friends, but I use that term in the politest possible way We liked getting off of our faces but all us guys were horrible mates. A holiday may have sounded good after a twenty jagerbombs but now I’ve to pretend my babymom doesn’t exist until I get there later on. I might text her. Maybe not. She’s probably with someone else. I’ll buy her the biggest cock shaped stick of rock, so she can go fuck herself. Only another twelve beers to go and the crate will empty My mates are already racking up, they’ve got the taste for more bevvies, I blast a line straight to my head piece and I’m suddenly floating must think I’m joking, I hear another can of Fosters just being opened drunkenly coasting to Blackpool with beers on the ice box really we’re quite fucked already, but there’s no sleeping on my watch. Me and the guys plot where to go once we get there cigarette smoke meets fresh air as our mate then folds like a deckchair. It’s bare jokes as we get their nose and rub it in their own disgusting sick. He never holds his fucking drink. So we roll up in the minibus reeking like a brewery people think we’re stupid but it’s really nothing new to me I have a breather, 2 or 3 more drinks and I’m set couple whiskeys no less, you know, just to give me an edge pretty much bless at this point in a shirt I’ve ironed drunk bit burnt beside the cuffs, but that won’t hurt we’ll find a club I burp in line and something tells me the bouncers a knob keep looking round me because with my mates it’s bound to kick off “£6 for a shot?!” is fucking laughable prices I ask her politely to pour it back in, I’m swiping casually pints swigged off tables that aren’t even mine Bacardi and lime? ill take it. What’s that, Carling? alright. It’s getting harder to find my friends as we’re all separated There’s plenty ladies but I can’t remember names better yet their faces. I’m demonstrating on the dance floor, hands all over this sort at most she’s a four. you know that I’m talking sober of course “I’m Flo…” she ignores me. “Flow off of Netcees” “I mostly just get beat over and over and-“ then she starts groping my testes. I couldn’t believe my luck she hadn’t even looked in the 1-2 league so I could show her my recent punch. We get up and leave the club, heading back to hers and I’ve never snagged a bird since with breath as bad (or worse) I mean every damning word out of Hayley Tosis mouth would make you throw up now if she came too close somehow. I ate her roach clip out for twenty minutes or more started to feel a click in my jaw, and it wasn’t from the shit that I snort My fingers were sore from blasting her fanny so quick so I wrapped up my dick with an expired condom I had with me “Bitch, who’s the daddy?” Not him I bet that she thought wet at the thought of my yogurt slinger about to enter her drawers. She gets on all fours in the doggy position I’m not even stiff, I’ve gone soft in the middle of watching her strip, flabby body and tits, sloppy admittedly — but I’d still probably hit. I’m on holiday, innit? Every hole is a goal so I try rolling her over while holding my nose. every fold has a roll, it’s like origami I’m proper starving, tried to munch her kebab but I got an arse cheek I prop an arm reaching up to cover her face fucking the brain cell out this dumb bitches skull as she waits. I’m too drunk to be saying no but she’s an utter disgrace she’s lucky I’m wasted, otherwise I wouldn’t touch it with Wayne’s. So I’m grunting away on the job in this laborious task war-horsing my back into it with force when it snaps! Only I’d already blasted my bavarian slice unaware at the time I was about to get the scare of my life. I barely survived the next 30 minutes with my heart in my mouth harbouring doubts on if my ugly would start crawling out i told lardy to bounce to the living room and ring me a cab to be fair she did as I asked quick as I zipped up my pants then I split in a taxi and headed back to my B&B without anyone thankfully seeing me & I’m glad cause I needed sleep when I got back from that bleeding weekend my missus was livid bitching and bitching, all about the bitch that I’d been with I figured I’d hid it from her but apparently not that bitch had gone on Facebook sent her screen grabs and the lot!

03-09-2023, 10:51 PM	#2
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,962 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	**Skipped. DID NOT READ.... reserved for FEED when I'm done writing & not to be influenced (more). Diablo, the TITLE... ALL it takes. I know it's out here on open mic I don;t have to fucking read it yet. The title STRIIIIINGS ME along, tiny eye-candy-links-all-over... thanks, sensei./MASTER (#4 at least?).. I feel my abilities and (at LEAST decent wit [when coherent]), and the jocking-mocking-following of you, lol, has (somewhat)prevented your bully nature from ABSOLUTELY destroying me at some point over the last 8 years....Lol, Our topical match is DUE BY MONTHS END???? IF @Frank does not resume & Spin&battles remain dead!?? Keep keyin, (like who cares that we're old men, if keying is easy AND quality ENOUGH (these days),,, why not spend a little time doing it until I retire @40 like @Destroyer)... Oh yeah, if U win that Topical on me (with legit voting)I am forbidden from tagging & namedropping the site.... Just re-iterating all this Lars... Carry on. Feed here soon on this key if it deserves/needs any Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 03-09-2023 at 10:58 PM. Reason: Vince?*

04-21-2023, 05:18 PM	#3
emcee squared Banned Join Date: Aug 2015 Posts: 430 Rep Power: 0	up non-pharaohs