05-23-2020, 03:07 PM | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Oslo
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Onslaught
still sick with it on a wicked quick visit
got slick wits to kick shit and rip vicious on frigid bitches unlike heat my bars emit that fierce fire from an arsonist narcissist the flame burn MCs until straight surgery no fake curtesy I need to break curfew see in a state of emergency the scene is declining that seems to be whining please dont remind me I fill empty halls like a scene from The Shining free styling rhyming and reviving forums tiring poems have peeps dying of boredom trying be awesome to belong in the kingdom new recruits giving veterans PTSD syndrome them foes getting banned is a righteous act now trifling acts contemplate fighting back returning with double accounts twice as wack thats misery, trickery and bickering all moody but if Im brooding I find it rather soothing to just punch somebody, call it a mood swing several blows permanently damaging temporal lobes shining like emerald glow on you basement dwellers blatant failures being misled by red herrings think the board is slow - check your bearings or try nuance, fix your glasses, get new ones people flexing on my text equals sub-humans selfish crooks aiming to maintain a well kept look catch em at the bookstore reading self-help books stuck from the start, chumps who get robbed in the park put the glock to my heart only make a shot in the dark dunno why these cats thinking they some rap kingpins getting pissed on by everybody, time to let facts sink in if we battled, they'd be too traumatized to remember it crack their craniums and give em fractured memories im the type to unleash mortars on any mortal scum you're basically a straw person packing a water gun leave em slaughtered and gone, all bastards decayed have kids passing away so I can be dancing on graves |
05-26-2020, 08:21 PM | #2 |
Storyteller
Join Date: May 2020
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Strong brag verse man. You had compounds in your compounds and a flow that never fell off despite the length. Are you a Big L fan? You should check him out if not. Your use of vocab was good, sometimes you don't see that in a brag piece. Nice use of imagery in a couple of lines, which usually reserved for topicals. You got a good skill set. Nice work.
Keep on keeping on. Thanks for the reply. -6 |
05-26-2020, 10:20 PM | #3 | |
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you know i really enjoy these verses. its not too caught up on high power concepts, just a straight up exercise on rhyme and flow with some cool swag thrown in for measure. this particular segment was interesting to me, rhyme scheme-wise
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05-27-2020, 04:50 PM | #4 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,146
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i used to write like this when i was 18. not that i back then, or this, was bad. but yea, nostalgia is weird.
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05-27-2020, 10:15 PM | #5 |
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05-29-2020, 12:21 PM | #6 | |
Senior Member
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Location: Oslo
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Quote:
know him and Finesse are pioners within their style. Anyways thanks to all for commenting, see if I can return the favor later. |
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06-09-2020, 09:39 PM | #7 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,146
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