01-21-2013, 12:04 PM | #1 |
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personal convictions
A cigarette in the tray, showers of molton ash
No food on the table, more than broke in cash Dishes, no soap and splash, plus the heater stopped It's chilly in the room, why take my wife beater off? Knocks on my door, hope it's the cops on my porch Prison has food and heat, better cots than the floor Mustered the door open, felt nothin but dreary wind If I knocked on it now would my past hear me then? Shed my eerie skin to mirror the snow on decent Grab the whiskey to break my prolonged repent So long, we spent, washing away all of sin's filth Puttin our hearts on the line to get mauled again, still... I sit alone, boards creak and it's*dark*in the corners Those songs in my head....the harp and the mourners The lights fade out, it's yet another bill unpaid Pain's growing and I just don't wanna feel some days Life's still mundane, I need water so offer a cup The wind ceases, leaves on the silver poplar are hushed This weather's feeble, grab the clip and Desert Eagle Make one last toast to all of those "better people" I'd never seen em'...this is the last of all that I've done wrong You cant hear it through the screams but this is my love song.. |
01-21-2013, 12:21 PM | #2 |
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Very introspective and deep. Really chilling.
Knocks on my door, hope it's the cops on my porch Prison has food and heat, better cots than the floor ^^^This line was something serious! Excellent drop, dude. |
01-21-2013, 08:08 PM | #3 |
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really dug this piece, Nice. i'm always into raw honesty and emotional content. that water and needing a cup line kinda threw me off though, seemed kinda random, like it was there for the rhyme. orrr i'm just an idiot and didnt see it for its deeper meaning
Knocks on my door, hope it's the cops on my porch Prison has food and heat, better cots than the floor Mustered the door open, felt nothin but dreary wind If I knocked on it now would my past hear me then? that was so slick, i loved this^^^ This weather's feeble, grab the clip and Desert Eagle Make one last toast to all of those "better people" ^^ although this was pretty dark, it was definitely my favorite part. i hate the "better people" fuck 'em all in all i enjoyed this piece. i'll be watchin out for your stuff like always |
01-21-2013, 08:11 PM | #4 |
...DA GAWD...
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nice you got bars my man... somewhat simplictic but used to the right extent to have one read right along with flare to the metaphors man... really a nice dig and something worth really reading man... nice to see your writing more
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01-22-2013, 12:41 AM | #5 |
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Mustered the door open, felt nothin but dreary wind If I knocked on it now would my past hear me then?
^^^ Man i really dug that line. This was a very neat and orderly drop. It was relatively brief, easy to follow, and a great read. There was some hiccups here and there with the flow, but that's about it. There was moments of deeper introspection that i wish you sticked with, but this was still good regardless. Way to stick to a concept and keep elements of decent structure and wordplay in tact. |
01-22-2013, 05:21 AM | #6 |
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this showed great insight in what some people really go through in their lives. great imagery
it also went smooth the whole way through...would like to see more from you fam!!!
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01-22-2013, 09:49 AM | #7 |
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Nice. Be back to quote shit
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01-22-2013, 10:39 AM | #8 |
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Thank you all for the love, when i get home today i promise i will feed every om piece that i havent fed yet. And bodi, the water/offer a cup line was basically saying i cant even afford to keep the water turned on so even the basically free neccessities i dont have.. Yea.
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01-22-2013, 11:30 AM | #9 |
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This weather's feeble, grab the clip and Desert Eagle
Make one last toast to all of those "better people" ^^Favorite line. Dope as hell. As always Nice got bars haha. Pretty dope man. Some real shit instead of all the shit thats in modern rap talking about gucci and shit. Good drop forreal. |
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