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Old 08-21-2018, 09:50 PM   #1
Victor.
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Default Raizen vs Defiant vs John Dillinger - John Dillinger wins

NBL Season 11
Week 7

Due SUNDAY 8/26/18

Minimum - 10 lines
Max - 20 lines

- NO BITING
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- AGREE ON LINE LIMIT
- IF NOT AGREED, MUST MATCH 1st VERSE


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Old 08-22-2018, 03:42 PM   #2
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Old 08-22-2018, 07:07 PM   #3
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@Raizen

mad I stole his shorty she told me that he’s a cheap thrill
had bro seeing more red than the Henny bottle that we killed
swear dude’s my kid, your mothers landing strips a runway
almost brought SPF 50 when I heard I was facing my son Raiz
both are near the bottom, so it’s no chore to bury ya
and leave DR right beneath us like a map of North America
not fighting if we meet, pull out the fire make his face fall
have em show up and call you Blue like umpires in baseball
I’ve yet to see a dope line or for that matter a smart bar
like a white boy in the hood you won’t ever be dropping hard R


@Defiant

feel like leaping then hop frog, punches leave em with lockjaw
then show up to your crib knockin like I’m looking for a lost dog
told your sister switch it up or I’m out, slackin on the neck game
shes smart to start giving me head from the side, call it her left brain
bullets for this chump, nothing but a slouch and a whiner
come fill you up with more lead than a pencil pouch in a binder
don’t come in asking for 10, acting like you’re some star
how do you expect to win here, you’re 0-5 in a league that requires 1 bar
off yourself or I will, no one cares about this mans death
not talking a backwards label name when I say the strap won’t Jam, Def

Last edited by John Dillinger; 08-22-2018 at 10:14 PM.
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Old 08-23-2018, 10:46 PM   #4
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Raizen Raizen Raizen Raizen Raizen Raizen Raizen Raizen Raizen Raizen Raizen
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ayo Dillenger....

bullets'll fly on anyone who knows this candy clown
I'll spray once. and his whole fam'll get it, like his hand-me-downs
no one'll miss u, dog, and that rattles ur hurt pride
mom'll see ur corpse float down a canal...wishing it happened the first time
i don't even care if ur bitch come to town and she wanna get down
i'll leave a slug in her cunt if she wanna start fuckin a round
my bars are unbelievable when I'm droppin these hits
ur style's unreal, cuz reality bites and STILL wont copy ur shit
get shit crackin' when I'm packin the glock
There's a Time to Kill, and he gon' swing from his neck like a grandfather clock


Uh..."Defiant"?

oh, you're some kinda rebel? you run around with a crew?
name sound like the gamer tag of a kid yelling "Mom, get out of my room!"
hear about me, all you see is stickups and gun clips
when I hear "Defiant"...all I see are selfies with duck lips
anyone fearin' this cupcake? the answer is FUCK NO
balls so small, if he grabs em, he'll finger his butt hole
my barrage of punches'll make his jaw flap so fast,
he gon' look like Bone Thugs switched to mumble rap
u too soft to battle. a sensitive bitch I'll splatter all ova the scene.
u'll just break down. like my next verse, when you're voting for me

Last edited by Raizen; 08-24-2018 at 11:10 PM.
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Old 08-26-2018, 03:54 PM   #5
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@Defiant.
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Old 08-27-2018, 09:56 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hush View Post
gets the loss


Battle
Open for votes
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Old 08-27-2018, 12:57 PM   #7
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mad I stole his shorty she told me that he’s a cheap thrill
had bro seeing more red than the Henny bottle that we killed
st8
swear dude’s my kid, your mothers landing strips a runway
almost brought SPF 50 when I heard I was facing my son Raiz
cool name flip
both are near the bottom, so it’s no chore to bury ya
and leave DR right beneath us like a map of North America
had to look up what u meant by DR, the line is stretch to use first letter of both names
not fighting if we meet, pull out the fire make his face fall
have em show up and call you Blue like umpires in baseball
what?
I’ve yet to see a dope line or for that matter a smart bar
like a white boy in the hood you won’t ever be dropping hard R
lol this was cool



bullets'll fly on anyone who knows this candy clown
I'll spray once. and his whole fam'll get it, like his hand-me-downs
nice
no one'll miss u, dog, and that rattles ur hurt pride
mom'll see ur corpse float down a canal...wishing it happened the first time
ok
i don't even care if ur bitch come to town and she wanna get down
i'll leave a slug in her cunt if she wanna start fuckin a round
lol not bad
my bars are unbelievable when I'm droppin these hits
ur style's unreal, cuz reality bites and STILL wont copy ur shit
hits
get shit crackin' when I'm packin the glock
There's a Time to Kill, and he gon' swing from his neck like a grandfather clock
decent closer

As you can tell I only reviewed the verses you both wrote against each other. With that, I have Raz taking with a couple harder hits. John wasn't bad but didn't do enough to take the W here.
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Old 08-28-2018, 10:13 AM   #8
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Old 08-28-2018, 03:59 PM   #9
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mad I stole his shorty she told me that he’s a cheap thrill
had bro seeing more red than the Henny bottle that we killed
lolish, I like the angle it's fresh
swear dude’s my kid, your mothers landing strips a runway
almost brought SPF 50 when I heard I was facing my son Raiz
decent nameplay, cool enough
both are near the bottom, so it’s no chore to bury ya
and leave DR right beneath us like a map of North America
nah not feelin, compiling their initials is a reach & domincan being below NA is mehh
not fighting if we meet, pull out the fire make his face fall
have em show up and call you Blue like umpires in baseball
dece... kinda basic blew/blue wp
I’ve yet to see a dope line or for that matter a smart bar
like a white boy in the hood you won’t ever be dropping hard R
lol this is okay
feel like leaping then hop frog, punches leave em with lockjaw
then show up to your crib knockin like I’m looking for a lost dog
good wording, avg bar for a show up at your door idea.. okay
told your sister switch it up or I’m out, slackin on the neck game
shes smart to start giving me head from the side, call it her left brain
okay okay... solid lol
bullets for this chump, nothing but a slouch and a whiner
come fill you up with more lead than a pencil pouch in a binder
nah too basic, needed more for a lead/pencil line imo
don’t come in asking for 10, acting like you’re some star
how do you expect to win here, you’re 0-5 in a league that requires 1 bar
swag, good jab
off yourself or I will, no one cares about this mans death
not talking a backwards label name when I say the strap won’t Jam, Def
solid np, pretty dece


JD I like ur short & direct style... nothing I would call an absolute banger but I think you were pretty consistent with 'solid' lines throughout... cool read

vs.

bullets'll fly on anyone who knows this candy clown
I'll spray once. and his whole fam'll get it, like his hand-me-downs
ehh, saw too many hand me down lines back in the day like this, flip was okayish as a gun bar
no one'll miss u, dog, and that rattles ur hurt pride
mom'll see ur corpse float down a canal...wishing it happened the first time
decent
i don't even care if ur bitch come to town and she wanna get down
i'll leave a slug in her cunt if she wanna start fuckin a round
no lol... very 2004ish with a circle/fuckin around idea
my bars are unbelievable when I'm droppin these hits
ur style's unreal, cuz reality bites and STILL wont copy ur shit
decent statement bar on the phrase.. okay
get shit crackin' when I'm packin the glock
There's a Time to Kill, and he gon' swing from his neck like a grandfather clock
the he gon swing part wasn't a great tie in for me, this was cool tho for a clock/time ref
oh, you're some kinda rebel? you run around with a crew?
name sound like the gamer tag of a kid yelling "Mom, get out of my room!"
lolish but mehhh
hear about me, all you see is stickups and gun clips
when I hear "Defiant"...all I see are selfies with duck lips
nah
anyone fearin' this cupcake? the answer is FUCK NO
balls so small, if he grabs em, he'll finger his butt hole
lolol, funny but light
my barrage of punches'll make his jaw flap so fast,
he gon' look like Bone Thugs switched to mumble rap
nah
u too soft to battle. a sensitive bitch I'll splatter all ova the scene.
u'll just break down. like my next verse, when you're voting for me
been done


I've got JD here, Raizen's second half hurt him
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:20 PM   #10
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Vote jd. Can't break down right this second but in short.

Jd was consistent an direct. Nothing overly memorable mind but for the most part everything got a tick. Raiz could be pretty decent but just use sway to many played ideas. But that ain't a critisism cus how were you to know I guess. But I would suggest upping the creativity.

Vote jd comfortably


Oh but whoever's posting the canal line... Props. That shit was dope
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:52 PM   #11
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mad I stole his shorty she told me that he’s a cheap thrill
had bro seeing more red than the Henny bottle that we killed
Decent I guess
swear dude’s my kid, your mothers landing strips a runway
almost brought SPF 50 when I heard I was facing my son Raiz
I liked this
both are near the bottom, so it’s no chore to bury ya
and leave DR right beneath us like a map of North America
nah
not fighting if we meet, pull out the fire make his face fall
have em show up and call you Blue like umpires in baseball
nah
I’ve yet to see a dope line or for that matter a smart bar
like a white boy in the hood you won’t ever be dropping hard R
ok

Vs

bullets'll fly on anyone who knows this candy clown
I'll spray once. and his whole fam'll get it, like his hand-me-downs
Liked this
no one'll miss u, dog, and that rattles ur hurt pride
mom'll see ur corpse float down a canal...wishing it happened the first time
nah
i don't even care if ur bitch come to town and she wanna get down
i'll leave a slug in her cunt if she wanna start fuckin a round
awful
my bars are unbelievable when I'm droppin these hits
ur style's unreal, cuz reality bites and STILL wont copy ur shit
I liked the concept but execution was lacking
get shit crackin' when I'm packin the glock
There's a Time to Kill, and he gon' swing from his neck like a grandfather clock
nah

Decent battle...a few misses from both, Son Raiz was lotb for me.

Vote JD
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Old 08-28-2018, 07:43 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Dillinger View Post
@Raizen

mad I stole his shorty she told me that he’s a cheap thrill
had bro seeing more red than the Henny bottle that we killed

Don’t get it, isn’t henny in a green bottle or brown?

swear dude’s my kid, your mothers landing strips a runway
almost brought SPF 50 when I heard I was facing my son Raiz

Ok

both are near the bottom, so it’s no chore to bury ya
and leave DR right beneath us like a map of North America

Nah

not fighting if we meet, pull out the fire make his face fall
have em show up and call you Blue like umpires in baseball

Eh

I’ve yet to see a dope line or for that matter a smart bar
like a white boy in the hood you won’t ever be dropping hard R

Cool

@Defiant

feel like leaping then hop frog, punches leave em with lockjaw
then show up to your crib knockin like I’m looking for a lost dog

Ok

told your sister switch it up or I’m out, slackin on the neck game
shes smart to start giving me head from the side, call it her left brain

Eh

bullets for this chump, nothing but a slouch and a whiner
come fill you up with more lead than a pencil pouch in a binder

No

don’t come in asking for 10, acting like you’re some star
how do you expect to win here, you’re 0-5 in a league that requires 1 bar

Eh

off yourself or I will, no one cares about this mans death
not talking a backwards label name when I say the strap won’t Jam, Def

No makes no sense
7

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raizen View Post
ayo Dillenger....

bullets'll fly on anyone who knows this candy clown
I'll spray once. and his whole fam'll get it, like his hand-me-downs

Ok wording could be better

no one'll miss u, dog, and that rattles ur hurt pride
mom'll see ur corpse float down a canal...wishing it happened the first time

Word like this

i don't even care if ur bitch come to town and she wanna get down
i'll leave a slug in her cunt if she wanna start fuckin a round

Fuck no

my bars are unbelievable when I'm droppin these hits
ur style's unreal, cuz reality bites and STILL wont copy ur shit

Nah

get shit crackin' when I'm packin the glock
There's a Time to Kill, and he gon' swing from his neck like a grandfather clock

Cool

Uh..."Defiant"?

oh, you're some kinda rebel? you run around with a crew?
name sound like the gamer tag of a kid yelling "Mom, get out of my room!"

No

hear about me, all you see is stickups and gun clips
when I hear "Defiant"...all I see are selfies with duck lips

What?

anyone fearin' this cupcake? the answer is FUCK NO
balls so small, if he grabs em, he'll finger his butt hole

Lool wtf

my barrage of punches'll make his jaw flap so fast,
he gon' look like Bone Thugs switched to mumble rap

No

u too soft to battle. a sensitive bitch I'll splatter all ova the scene.
u'll just break down. like my next verse, when you're voting for me

Nah
5

Jd got it

Raizen really fell off in the defiant part. Like a different writer.
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Old 08-28-2018, 07:56 PM   #13
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I’ll break down my vote shortly but I got JD here some simple stuff but some clever stuff. Raiz is aright too just needs more aggression I think with his bar. @Defiant is a faggot so you both win for showing but I got JD here

Like I said I can break it down in a bit
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