11-12-2015, 02:36 PM | #1 |
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new to the board.. any feed would be appreciated
I'm in G mode b your techs harmless as a emoji
porn sites is the only time u reload squeeze rappin bout ya c-note schemes Mario with Ya 1zUp in strip clubs. Thats how your team throw green? they e-harmony, where the singles be we poppin e harmonies amongst other things The street pharmacy.. got whatcha need all I need is one call get you plugged on me Midwestern, boots n sum scuffed up jeans varmints at large with fo' longs get smoked Marlboro Cowboy killers, revolver hold one. You feeling vulnerable or lucky? Spin the cylinder like carnivals get carpal tunnel from the shock of scattered bullets, my dogs is havok, pull the MM as if the marshal matters carnivorous in cars with misfits with ill wills ill wheels lift cars sum inches. The deal? Take a 2nd look. With 2 broads call that a double date Villain with 2 faces I came on - double take When I see on Facebook bitches making the duck face I know their spit game is fucking great dang I'm fuckin vain, syringes can't equal to the god still got dope tracks without the needle in the arm won't hold back. The spine of my notepad is strong this dumb era don't know bout a road map at all distinct the rest I'm a, gee-nee-us yo they wanna extinct what's left of the tedious bar writer, Barb wire my studio compound trespass get chewed by the ruthless of doghounds c-ops special ops forces can't infiltrate, infa red then your head is on my dinner plate serial killer guns stashed in boxes tom cruise, on a mission, hide as other rappers in costume Last edited by Quarter O; 11-12-2015 at 07:52 PM. |
11-12-2015, 10:36 PM | #2 |
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First half is wack, second ain't much better.
Make Lil' Wayne seem dope...should be banned for that. |
11-13-2015, 12:00 AM | #3 |
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@Exis Thanks for peepin.. Gotta be a dickhead with sly dissin me but thanks. Damn real talk wack is a strong word. I can understand decent but to say I'm wack is crazy. I came to a level of that not being possible. But yea I see my first introduction of this site is that haters lurk near.. Be blessed homie
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11-13-2015, 12:26 AM | #4 |
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I ain't a hater...want me to break shit down constructively? I'll be happy too, Ima blaze then get backwards @ it.
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11-13-2015, 12:49 AM | #5 |
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The whole first stanza was ehh...your grammar is horrible.Flow goes from sorta there to sloppy, whatever multies you have attempted seem forced...word usage is odd, the openin' line almost made me close the thread & not comment @ all tbh...positives? Conceptionally your experimentin' with shit...they may not come off, or miss the mark completely but there's definitely potential there.. alot of room to expand things, whether it's thru better use of words or what not...I see it.
Join the leagues here man, great writers competin' against you will only strengthen what's already in your arsenal...& add more strings to that bow of yours, which @ the moment isn't shootin' directly @ the reader to resonate much. Stay upwards. |
11-13-2015, 10:46 AM | #6 |
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@Exis I see you.. It's a matter of taste and I noticed most people around here likes ridiculous usage of rhyme schemes. Well with the beat I wrote this on it wouldn't be in the pocket. I'm all about being in the pocket. I actually spit and as far as the flow, it's so in pocket D-bo couldn't jack it to be honest. First two bars can be changed I admit.
Last edited by Quarter O; 11-13-2015 at 10:53 AM. |
11-13-2015, 10:52 AM | #7 |
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LOL
I liked the 1up idea, that was pretty fresh. longs get smoked, marlboro was nice too. i enjoyed that. MM line was cool pretty good concepts and flow, just needs tightening up slightly Flow is fire in that second around this section: dang I'm fuckin vain, syringes can't equal to the god still got dope tracks without the needle in the arm won't hold back. The spine of my notepad is strong this dumb era don't know bout a road map at all rest was straight i respect it keep that pen moving!
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11-13-2015, 10:53 AM | #8 |
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post some music
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11-13-2015, 10:55 AM | #9 |
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Good lookin sral!
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11-13-2015, 11:00 AM | #10 |
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11-13-2015, 11:12 AM | #11 |
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I'm just tryin to try this shit out and build..ya'll got summa the nicest lyricists i seen in text form..Ain't no dickhead. Lets keep this shit movin'!
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11-13-2015, 06:09 PM | #13 |
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Exis is fucking horrible so don't pay attention to him
Legit enjoyed this more than anything he ever wrote Thanks!
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11-13-2015, 06:22 PM | #14 |
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Lmfaooo
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11-13-2015, 06:26 PM | #15 |
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Still on my dick you little bitch...let it go.
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11-13-2015, 09:21 PM | #16 | |
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Quote:
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11-14-2015, 01:56 AM | #17 |
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Quaker oats? that name sounds familiar, anyways nice post bro you should check around and read other users open mics as well.
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11-14-2015, 02:53 AM | #18 | |
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Quote:
don't take offence a lot of the guys here been doing this a long time you've potential
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11-14-2015, 02:54 AM | #19 | |
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Quote:
he posted at a couple diff boards
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11-14-2015, 04:14 AM | #20 |
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this was pretty sick actually. respect.
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