01-13-2024, 01:07 AM | #1 |
living
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DEADMAN - SKINSUIT
my cup
as always runneth over. blood in my cola waking up from something like a 100-month coma dustier. older. grumpy. unfocused swollen. puffy bolus. rusty trombone song composer decomposed. head and shoulders knees and toes, lean in closer whisper in your ear romances i should've told you when it mattered more. the matador. bullshit, its over secrets tell themselves in time. it's darkroom exposure beachside foyer. Naples / Palm Springs / Sarasota sit there for a while until we smell melanoma hang it up and carry on. the shadow puppet Paragon rocking chair, a bad toupee, a Wheel of Fortune marathon Americana Live as though nobody really cares about it cause Michael Jackson's overdose still overshadows Farah Fawcett terracotta soldiers. buddy we've all got our marching orders walk the line like Johnny told us Fall, make sure you're falling forward call me on my kitchen cordless. tell me how unique New York is blow me kisses, punch my organs Still pay for your hair appointment selfish fucking failed abortion. i stay here out of ceremony pay tribute to our younger selves nostalgia strangely parasocial therapized as babies. gave us stimulants and privacy meditation : medication : methylphenethylamine. white-coat pharma contra. ye harbingers of sympathy cheated on their SAT's. now they rule the embassy baggy jacket skinny jeans post-grunge junky energy i promise if i die tonight, i'll ask no one to visit me dont forget my order, please: cigarettes and whiskey, neat Liquified my insides but my Skinsuit still resembles me Netcee in my chemistry. savant and retard synergy i been doing this since 15 since computer labs and little league Brother Ali - Missing Teeth. graffiti in the city street tipping over port-a-potties. innocent, but viciously doesn't matter anyway i always end up doing this i love you for your foolishness because thats really you dead man
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Zack Wicks for president Last edited by dead man; 01-13-2024 at 01:32 AM. |
01-22-2024, 06:35 AM | #2 |
Tread Lightly.
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Netcee in my chemistry. savant and retard synergy
I’d sig that if sigging anything felt worthwhile these days. I liked a lot of this. Unique New York and skin suit lines particularly. Paragon with a capital P? This feels like we’re almost at the end. I’ll miss you BDz.
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01-25-2024, 06:13 PM | #3 |
Scream
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dug it, few sections stood out, great as a whole
post-grunge junky energy i promise if i die tonight, i'll ask no one to visit me dont forget my order, please: cigarettes and whiskey, neat Liquified my insides but my Skinsuit still resembles me Netcee in my chemistry. savant and retard synergy
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02-02-2024, 04:02 PM | #4 |
Lime Life
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hang it up and carry on. the
shadow puppet Paragon rocking chair, a bad toupee, a Wheel of Fortune marathon Americana Live as though nobody really cares about it cause Michael Jackson's overdose still overshadows Farah Fawcett A lot of people call you the most talented writer to ever do this simply because they've seen others say it. A lot of people who say that probably haven't even read a full verse from you. I'm not one of those people. I say you're the most talented writer to ever do this because you are. And I know what I'm talking about. You are not only the most talented to ever do this topical shit, you are one of the best writers I have ever read in my life. This wasn't exactly a classic from you but the lines I quoted are why I say you're the best. They were a seemingly effortless display of wit, brevity and cadence that most people simply aren't capable of. I'm a very good writer. I'm more talented than most people who have ever done this. There have been quite a few genuinely incredible writers that have done this. Lars, Certain, dull and bb, Soulstice, Oats, Cry, Pancakebrah, Vulgar and I could name plenty more. I'd put myself in that group. You aren't in it. You're out on your own my friend. Thank you.
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Explicit and poisonous violent crime. |
02-04-2024, 03:18 PM | #5 |
obsessed
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i'm grateful for your insightful reflections on the piece you shared. your ability to weave together thematic elements and a stream of consciousness approach so seamlessly is truly heartening. it's rewarding to see that the literary techniques you employed resonated with me and aligned with my own experiences in writing, especially how the narrative's direction and unique phrases like "pharma contra" subtly yet significantly guided the reader's journey through the text. your method of writing, which combines bold experimentation with profound personal reflection, clearly aims to deliver a narrative that is not only authentic but deeply engaging. your verse is an intricate exploration of themes such as the passage of time, personal disillusionment, and societal critique, all skillfully layered to create a rich narrative fabric- beginning with a stark contrast between abundance and the taint of corruption, setting a thematic tone that threads through the entire piece- your strengths are interconnectivity, where as i believe my adhd takes over midway through a verse. your vivid imagery of emerging from a lengthy period of inactivity or disconnection introduces the stark netceeian narrative of decline and disorientation-- further emphasized by allusions to physical and mental deterioration. this particular narrative is interlaced with moments of introspection and regret, particularly for words left unsaid, underscoring the deeply personal angst amidst broader societal commentary, which to me, delineates you from a bunch of writers- the metaphor is strong in you. the evolution of truths over time, akin to photographs developing in thedarkroom, serves as a metaphor for the eventual, unavoidable revelation of hidden realities which plague us. dope. the verse critiques cultural and societal obsessions, using american icons (that you have mentioned before) and references to underscore the transient nature of fame and the superficial commemoration of celebrity- something which when done right can be amazing- and yes it was done right here. IN CONCLUSION, it delves into themes of destiny and integrity, using historical metaphors and cultural allusions to advocate for living a life of purpose and authenticity. it critiques the modern world's complexities, from the impersonal nature of nostalgia to the ethical quandaries of the pharmaceutical industry, and the societal systems that often prioritize advancement without merit. the personal narrative converges with these broader themes, revealing a dialogue between the individual's inner world and the external societal pressures, culminating in a poignant embrace of authenticity and the acceptance of one's flaws- which is something I feel anyone can relate to if they're self aware enough. this verse navigates the intricate dance between personal identity and societal roles, offering a reflective journey through life's myriad challenges towards a place of self-acceptance and understanding, all through your unique voice. thanks
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02-25-2024, 05:34 PM | #6 |
Member
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Truly loved these:
whisper in your ear romances i should've told you when it mattered more. the matador. post-grunge junky energy i promise if i die tonight, i'll ask no one to visit me dont forget my order, please: cigarettes and whiskey, neat And of course the “i always end up doing this”. Simple, poignant, relatable etc etc. Always glad to read your work. Everything else and more’s been said already |
03-02-2024, 04:37 PM | #7 |
rhyme capsule.
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i liked reading this.
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03-30-2024, 11:13 AM | #8 |
WOW
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This is when dead is at his best. I mean he’s phenomenal on a topic but he’s +1 of that on these rambling type pieces.
He constructs phrases that are just so unique and impactful. But I think his biggest strength, at least imo, which most people overlook, is his rhyming. He uses such unorthodox rhymes that are quite spectacular. Really enjoyed it
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04-03-2024, 04:45 AM | #9 |
White Earl
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..man
Im not sure i can sing praises that havnt already been sung to you. But your effortless descriptive imagery is just flawless man. I come into a dead man post most often when i need to see clearer. Just read the words and everything comes to life again. You are appreciated.
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04-03-2024, 05:44 AM | #10 |
Steel Cut
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I love you for your foolishness
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04-06-2024, 02:35 AM | #11 |
White Earl
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whisper in your ear romances i should've told you
when it mattered more. the matador. bullshit, its over secrets tell themselves in time. it's darkroom exposure Idk why, i just fucking love this ..this whole piece is on another level. Inspiring something in me thats been dead for a long time to maybe try some old things again in a new light. Idk, well see.
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