WEEK 7: iSpaz 2-3 VS Mac 2-3 SPAZ WINS

UPN Zuch · 11-15-2020, 05:36 PM

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Verses due 11:59pm EST November 19, 2020 (Thursday)

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Good luck, gentlemen

Mac · 11-15-2020, 06:31 PM

good luck TEN LINES

iSpaz · 11-16-2020, 12:56 AM

Word

Mac · 11-19-2020, 07:51 AM

EXT

iSpaz · 11-19-2020, 12:53 PM

Sure.

iSpaz · 11-19-2020, 12:54 PM

Get your own style mf..

Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead
You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead
Your chances of winning is slim cuz you the wackest with it
You already lost off the rip so I'll break ya top off like a lottery ticket
I'll get in a bitch slot. Hit it till I get a jackpot while this fool's hateful
You could say you felt a hole.. like that one time you built a pool table
But fuck the jokes. I want smoke and I'm runnin on no patience
So when I have that can pop over that metal tre it won't be the bar waitress.
You are a beast. No leash but I can sense the feelin of doubt
If you got fight in your veins, I'll have you fighting to stop your blood from bleedin out.

Mac · 11-20-2020, 09:31 PM

I got ur girl hittin me up askin to drop by
all she wants for christmas is you, thats the word around Spotify
I hope you brought an ally into this death valley
once this ends in heavy oregon traffic you'd wish u never left Cali
both our names are somehow related to the Apple wave
Mac's a best-seller & iSpaz got Steve Jobs rollin in his grave
nigga lost three times in a row how u won 2 times is a mistery
they say dont take your work home.. but u gotta work on that delivery
Mac's a chef n i'm about to prepare the buffet
serve the table; not thanksgiving yet but a turkey gettin roasted today

FGR · 11-21-2020, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iSpaz

Get your own style mf..

Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead
You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead
ok opener
Your chances of winning is slim cuz you the wackest with it
You already lost off the rip so I'll break ya top off like a lottery ticket
I don't get this.. in PA there's no ripping tickets so not sure... But if there is in other places this still doesn't hit that hard.. mild at best I say
I'll get in a bitch slot. Hit it till I get a jackpot while this fool's hateful
You could say you felt a hole.. like that one time you built a pool table
I liked the concept..just not how u worded it n delivered
But fuck the jokes. I want smoke and I'm runnin on no patience
So when I have that can pop over that metal tre it won't be the bar waitress.
mild gun bar
You are a beast. No leash but I can sense the feelin of doubt
If you got fight in your veins, I'll have you fighting to stop your blood from bleedin out.
Again I liked the idea.. delivery didn't do it for me.. should have worded diff

Vs

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac

I got ur girl hittin me up askin to drop by
all she wants for christmas is you, thats the word around Spotify
nah
I hope you brought an ally into this death valley
once this ends in heavy oregon traffic you'd wish u never left Cali
I'm lost here
both our names are somehow related to the Apple wave
Mac's a best-seller & iSpaz got Steve Jobs rollin in his grave
mild
nigga lost three times in a row how u won 2 times is a mistery
they say dont take your work home.. but u gotta work on that delivery
nah
Mac's a chef n i'm about to prepare the buffet
serve the table; not thanksgiving yet but a turkey gettin roasted today
mild

Vote spaz stronger bars

fraze · 11-22-2020, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iSpaz

Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead
You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead
this is forced because you wouldn't say the first part of your punch in real life. concept is a little light too. You should try to use your setup line to give your punch more relevance
Your chances of winning is slim cuz you the wackest with it
You already lost off the rip so I'll break ya top off like a lottery ticket
ok punch but very simple. also would benefit from setup
I'll get in a bitch slot. Hit it till I get a jackpot while this fool's hateful
You could say you felt a hole.. like that one time you built a pool table
i get it but this is pretty basic. this a fake personal but you're accusing him of having carpentry skills. Try to make your disses harsher.
But fuck the jokes. I want smoke and I'm runnin on no patience
So when I have that can pop over that metal tre it won't be the bar waitress.
weak concept. throw this one back
You are a beast. No leash but I can sense the feelin of doubt
If you got fight in your veins, I'll have you fighting to stop your blood from bleedin out.
wording is a little off, but this line was nice. dope concept.

Quotes: Closer

Closer was LOTB even with shaky wording. I'd work on coming up with better concepts, don't always settle for your first idea for a flip. You also need to work on setups and tying in concepts related to the punch to make it hit harder.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac

I got ur girl hittin me up askin to drop by
all she wants for christmas is you, thats the word around Spotify
this isn't a diss. his girl called and said she wants him. what are you her bff?
I hope you brought an ally into this death valley
once this ends in heavy oregon traffic you'd wish u never left Cali
(i think) i see what you're trying to do here but its light
both our names are somehow related to the Apple wave
Mac's a best-seller & iSpaz got Steve Jobs rollin in his grave
this is close to hitting. punch needs better wording
nigga lost three times in a row how u won 2 times is a mistery
they say dont take your work home.. but u gotta work on that delivery
isn't worded well enough, also pretty simple
Mac's a chef n i'm about to prepare the buffet
serve the table; not thanksgiving yet but a turkey gettin roasted today
light.

I don't have any quotes from Mac, but I can also tell you're starting to pull things together. You had a couple of ok concepts but you should try to make your wording harsher. If you words don't convey your contempt for your opponent its not a good diss.

Vote: iSpaz. Neither verse knocked my socks off but both showed signs of potential. Keep writing guys.

Scout · 11-22-2020, 08:19 AM

This match had

Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead
You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead

And I barely quoted it, because of how lazy the rhyme was

Then there was felt a hole...
The rhyme wasn't as weak and the idea was harddd
Execution though, not good. That had so much potential

Mac had steve jobs, but it needed more for it to hit
And again..sloppy rhyming

Not feeling anything else worth mentioning from either
Voting Spaz

Sharp · 11-22-2020, 11:30 AM

Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead
You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead
this doesn't work very well... 'you wishin you could dead I' is such an awkward phrase. I appreciate the way you made your bar accessible to people who haven't played red dead, but you took up so much of the bar explaining it that it lessened your impact
Your chances of winning is slim cuz you the wackest with it
You already lost off the rip so I'll break ya top off like a lottery ticket
agree with FGR... Haven't seen this exact method with lottery tickets but if you're not making shit it is dope
I'll get in a bitch slot. Hit it till I get a jackpot while this fool's hateful
You could say you felt a hole.. like that one time you built a pool table
you're saying he has felt a hole? The delivery here sounds like you're saying he has felt a hole.
But fuck the jokes. I want smoke and I'm runnin on no patience
So when I have that can pop over that metal tre it won't be the bar waitress.
tre/tray has been done enough in high profile battles (that dude with the lunch lady flip... Cant think of who it is right now). Wording itself is awkward. Two 'that's make the delivery weird, and wtf is a' bar waitress'?
You are a beast. No leash but I can sense the feelin of doubt
If you got fight in your veins, I'll have you fighting to stop your blood from bleedin out.
theres def an idea here but again, awkward wording takes it

]I got ur girl hittin me up askin to drop by
all she wants for christmas is you, thats the word around Spotify
again, sounds like the bar is actually a compliment? I get what you're going for but not worded too well
I hope you brought an ally into this death valley
once this ends in heavy oregon traffic you'd wish u never left Cali
Heavy... Organ? Oregon is an extra syllable. I'm also not sure it's an organ flip. I feel like this wording didn't help a reach of a concept at all
both our names are somehow related to the Apple wave
Mac's a best-seller & iSpaz got Steve Jobs rollin in his grave
get what you're going for but wording isn't there. Clever use of your name as well
nigga lost three times in a row how u won 2 times is a mistery
they say dont take your work home.. but u gotta work on that delivery
wording isn't bad. Concept makes like no sense to me though
Mac's a chef n i'm about to prepare the buffet
serve the table; not thanksgiving yet but a turkey gettin roasted today
calling him a turkey makes this feel like a 70's flick lol. Really outdated slang

Spaz had better punches. Both of you need more time to develop your wording

V/spaz

fraze · 11-22-2020, 11:42 AM

i read the lottery ticket thing as tearing of the top ticket from one of those rolls of scratch offs.

Adverse · 11-22-2020, 11:43 AM

Spazz has the opener and rippin tickets while I dig Mac’s delivery bar and Steve Jobs. This battle wasn’t great from either side but this really felt phoned in from Mac who we’ve seen a lot of improvement from but this week felt like two steps backwards. Spaz shows that he has good concepts but is lacking on execution nevertheless his misses weren’t as bad.

V/ISpaz

Eviction · 11-22-2020, 12:18 PM

Ispaz
Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead
You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead

I like that for the second line, didn't like the first line at all though.

I didn't feel anything from Mac's verse so I got Ispaz winning from that bar I quoted above.

V/Ispaz

11-16-2020, 12:56 AM	#3
iSpaz Gang shit on my brain Join Date: May 2015 Posts: 265 Battle Record: 10-11 Rep Power: 161231	Word __________________ But don't say I can't rap like I'm not a Rap God, Like I won't break your fucking favorite rapper's rap jaw

11-19-2020, 12:53 PM	#5
iSpaz Gang shit on my brain Join Date: May 2015 Posts: 265 Battle Record: 10-11 Rep Power: 161231	Sure. __________________ But don't say I can't rap like I'm not a Rap God, Like I won't break your fucking favorite rapper's rap jaw

11-19-2020, 12:54 PM	#6
iSpaz Gang shit on my brain Join Date: May 2015 Posts: 265 Battle Record: 10-11 Rep Power: 161231	Get your own style mf.. Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead Your chances of winning is slim cuz you the wackest with it You already lost off the rip so I'll break ya top off like a lottery ticket I'll get in a bitch slot. Hit it till I get a jackpot while this fool's hateful You could say you felt a hole.. like that one time you built a pool table But fuck the jokes. I want smoke and I'm runnin on no patience So when I have that can pop over that metal tre it won't be the bar waitress. You are a beast. No leash but I can sense the feelin of doubt If you got fight in your veins, I'll have you fighting to stop your blood from bleedin out. __________________ But don't say I can't rap like I'm not a Rap God, Like I won't break your fucking favorite rapper's rap jaw

11-15-2020, 06:31 PM	#2
Mac Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 480 Battle Record: 7-12 Rep Power: 1856619	good luck TEN LINES

11-19-2020, 07:51 AM	#4
Mac Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 480 Battle Record: 7-12 Rep Power: 1856619	EXT

11-20-2020, 09:31 PM	#7
Mac Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 480 Battle Record: 7-12 Rep Power: 1856619	I got ur girl hittin me up askin to drop by all she wants for christmas is you, thats the word around Spotify I hope you brought an ally into this death valley once this ends in heavy oregon traffic you'd wish u never left Cali both our names are somehow related to the Apple wave Mac's a best-seller & iSpaz got Steve Jobs rollin in his grave nigga lost three times in a row how u won 2 times is a mistery they say dont take your work home.. but u gotta work on that delivery Mac's a chef n i'm about to prepare the buffet serve the table; not thanksgiving yet but a turkey gettin roasted today

11-22-2020, 08:19 AM	#10
Scout Jeice! Who's that? Join Date: Oct 2020 Posts: 293 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 1230369	This match had Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead And I barely quoted it, because of how lazy the rhyme was Then there was felt a hole... The rhyme wasn't as weak and the idea was harddd Execution though, not good. That had so much potential Mac had steve jobs, but it needed more for it to hit And again..sloppy rhyming Not feeling anything else worth mentioning from either Voting Spaz

11-22-2020, 11:42 AM	#12
fraze Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Louisville, KY Posts: 913 Battle Record: 14-24 Rep Power: 32898722	i read the lottery ticket thing as tearing of the top ticket from one of those rolls of scratch offs.

11-22-2020, 11:43 AM	#13
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,739 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446142	Spazz has the opener and rippin tickets while I dig Mac’s delivery bar and Steve Jobs. This battle wasn’t great from either side but this really felt phoned in from Mac who we’ve seen a lot of improvement from but this week felt like two steps backwards. Spaz shows that he has good concepts but is lacking on execution nevertheless his misses weren’t as bad. V/ISpaz

11-22-2020, 12:18 PM	#14
Eviction Detained Join Date: Oct 2020 Posts: 1,838 Battle Record: 16-11 Rep Power: 0	Ispaz Yeah its iSpaz against Mac. The fact is that you couldn't shoot lead You wishin you could dead "i", but I'll kill you quicker than that skill from Red Dead I like that for the second line, didn't like the first line at all though. I didn't feel anything from Mac's verse so I got Ispaz winning from that bar I quoted above. V/Ispaz