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06-19-2018, 08:15 PM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: NY State
Posts: 109
Battle Record: 0-2
Rep Power: 0  |
Death
Glass of wine, it helps to bury the problems
Motivated by the views and likes I'm falling like autumn Can’t snooze at night Contemplated ending it often Might get a round of applause From all my enemies watching My biggest fear is that my haters Got it correct, That I'm an inauthentic loser in debt Two personalities the king and the peasant I tried to kill my problems with an intellectual weapon But my problems are as much me as Trump is a president Bad versions of myself in my mirror they're resident Inspecting elements Perverted mind Fucking intelligence Living in stitches constantly injured Repulsive depictions communication limited Make the most of the diction Writing our life stories We're all living a fiction We have problems with vision Can't read the message like a dyslexic person We plead and we curse and we worship Live for a moment, we go to our graves in our hearses I’m sick of this. I watch an addict yearning, for their next hit Nexus, at which point are we all connected? Death.
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06-23-2018, 11:07 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,938
Battle Record: 3-3
Rep Power: 0   |
Contemplated ending it often
Might get a round of applause From all my enemies watching My biggest fear is that my haters Got it correct, That I'm an inauthentic loser in debt Two personalities the king and the peasant I tried to kill my problems with an intellectual weapon But my problems are as much me as Trump is a president ^^Liked it... Some may say your lines are too short, yet the same nigga's say my bars are too stretched so it's whatev's in that regard...I actually found how you structured this to compliment flow well, it read smooth to me...some of the word usage is odd imo, but once again that echoes on joints of mine...thought the emotion was good, content was straight just needs to be refined more to resonate with people I feel...enjoyable spit Vap. Stay upwards fam. |
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06-24-2018, 08:14 PM
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death warmed over
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Downstairs illstreet dam
Posts: 2,564
Battle Record: 6-21
Rep Power: 0 |
This was done well.... good work....
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https://soundcloud.com/user-876573949/ https://soundcloud.com/user-634430314/ |
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07-06-2018, 03:41 PM
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 732
Battle Record: 2-1
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 19584275   |
Your transitional wordplay and rhyme scheme were pretty bomb. A very playful, yet also introspective piece. It entertained, while at the same time made me think a bit. I enjoyed it. Post more.
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