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Old 02-03-2013, 04:19 PM   #1
trap.
Senior Citizen
 
Join Date: Aug 1997
Posts: 3,871
Battle Record: 4-3



Rep Power: 0
trap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant future
Default E2

Name: E2
Crews: pMp'z
Where: Albuquerque, NM
Repped: Sethros, UPN, RM









vs Adrunk

I’m the vilest nihilist bringing violence, & thus hell
Ad is a pistachio- that’s his style, in a nutshell
I’m the virus your brain installed, just let the pain assault
Every foe’s a deli***y- I take em with a grain of salt
Complain & bawl- I’ve always been a man of six minds
Using one to beat your ass & laughing with five
Ad just dickrides; him & Winona Ryder look for Sacks now
You could even quit heroin & still not put the smack-down
Just to keep this kid off my nuts I gotta wear ball-caps
If writing were driving, Adrunk would probably call cabs…
My written strike is literal like the pen in your ap‘pen’dix
You may as well have never even been in my attendance
& when you post rhymes for critique, no one gives a fuck
You could vomit with a boner & still not get it upped
I’m the one who owns you… mom ain’t a part of that
…Roll over & die like a dog with a heart attack
Your arsenal is over with, how could you not notice it?
In battle you’re more under-armed than deodorant
You can’t conceive lines that become a feature of the month
Even racing for drinks at prom, I’d beat you to the punch
Just quit battling, dude- trust me-it’s the truth
You’d be ‘better off’ like lights in ugly bitches’ rooms
I’m right here, so don’t ever ask if God exists
Your job ain’t battling, kid… don’t call in sick
I’m smarter in type, you borrowed your time as a martyr who died
& your brain is my property, Ad- you got a ‘lot’ on your mind


vs Doo Doo In Arse

I posted this now so you get 3 days for responding to this
cause your writing's as much of a joke as your moniker is
plus all my sources cite you're one fourth my height
and so fucking wack that showing up is unsportsmanlike
my records are long-standing like the body of a Dachshund
and if you aint a muffler, tell me why you so exhausted?
battling is fishing, i'm the old man on the Sea
with skills like a blind whore... you gotta hand it to me
my battle verse is hung and i'mma slam it in your cunt
even if you operate as a man and get it done
what planet are you from? you can't compete with your opponent
Even 4 year olds tell you to "speak when you are tolded"
you're droppin smaller quantities than gerbil shits in toilets
your whole fucking verse looks like a circle since its pointless
i'll blast off- bash your eyes and trash talk
then get charged with battery like Energizer's mascot
Your flows suck so bad they're leaving leech trails
If you ever had a career, it's washed up like beached whales
i'll beat you till you wake up dazed with a make up case
go study astronomy, bitch- all you do is take up space
i rape vets all day, let alone your fake text i break
keeping heads rolling like tapedecks on play
you jumped to conclusions and pulled your metatarsals
Doo Doo, every line you drop is shit... all they are is 'bar-stools'
whenever defining sick, there's a picture of me to compare it with
you're about as good of a writer as Richard Reid is a terrorist
both of you fail to blow it up- but at least you were wack
if not, i might not be 1-0... and i appreciate that


vs Espionage

Everyone likes an underdog… getting bashed by a vet
I got one question, man- how'd you get past I.N.S.?
It seems your mastery of plain just has to be innate
You look like Iverson on Quaaludes… after being raped
& speaking of your birth- you've been frail since the day
I'mma put you outta commission like how salesmen get paid
But your minimum wage is set; even your agent said
Sime didn't give you a seed… he posted your age instead
You record in your spare time but can't afford any airtime
Guess that scar on your head fractured more than your hairline
…Your perspective would've been absurd if you had filmed it
Cause your head's so use to the ground it's permanently tilted
You came in completely entire now you'll leave in a vile
Wake up & smell the coffin cause you'll be there a while
You need to retire- just don't expect a pension from the game
What have you ever done to earn the mention of your name?
Enter this tournament? Get lucky for a few rounds then bounce?
You're lightweight- couldn't kill-a-gram, let alone pound an ounce
I doubt amounts of your material even vaguely make sense
The boundary on your neck means that chain-link is fenced
You know all too well how the bottom of the barrel smells
You're actually 0-37… waiting for the next Peril- L
& it scares the hell outta you; even your she-male is shell-shocked
It's your own disco funeral & you'll be there with Bells on

I said shhhhhhhhh....

Espi can't offend me- ending with 'Muthaphucka!' is trendy
You may be full-up on NV but you're still running on MT
& giving it your all but you're a little bit too gone
…You ain't in your own league living with your mom
Isn't it the bomb? Ok, not when you can't see the light of day
I'm smacking you open-handed like the United Way
I'm a grand slam… you're nothing but a bunt, kid
All you are is my fourth down… no wonder you got punted
Ain't even 25% champion, you're just a quarter-finalist
I got a date with destiny & you don't know what time it is
I know what your favorite meal is so I made you tubesteak
Why'd you even show up? Oh wait- it's April Fool's Day
See, you'll likely be a bye so I might not even try
Throwing unibrows connecting right between your eyes
It's a sight to see you cry, but you were never liked on my lap
Even after you did that cockumentary about life on my sack
You claim you're best known but came with dead tone
So put a noose around your penis & hang your head low
Your suicidal tendencies don't want a friend it seems
There's 2 E's in Espionage… it starts & ends with me
But now the Grim Reaper is your best friend- goodnight
I'm tucking you in Esp… don't let the deathbedbugs bite


vs SLICK

I push the envelope, you get pushed-over like dominos
In the school of hard knocks, I'm always on the honor roll
The game was much impressed because I play with such intent
If you battle religiously, you should've gave it up for Lent
81%… needs 29 more to match this effortless type-write
It's ok to finish last- that just makes you a nice guy
None of your ideas fly… some you see die on impact
I'm still the real dick & you're a penile implant
You're some actor from Akron, isn't that an anachronism?
With verse neither solid NOR fluid; it's gelatinous
You could fly to Indochina just to praise all your quotes
…But I wouldn't go so far as to say you were dope
Your only battle skills involve the duck & running part
Even as Ron Jeremy's dick, you're no Up & Coming star
You need to raise-your-writes like people in courts do
When it comes to battle, you pull out like corkscrews
You're a Bum with split personalities, now you're Broke in two
Your name may as well be Sesame… kid, I'm about to Open you
The fact you're a biter? … That has to be vital
Your rhymes are garbage & I'm glad you recycle
It's damn suicidal for you, but you're not allowed to bitch
My verse took a Hike & still went off without a Hitch
So E2 oughtta bag it, I could crush you automatic
Slyck's a pomegranate & I got a palm of granite
If you don't like pain, I'mma turn you into a masochist
Not only did I devour you, I over-8 you like an asterisk
Your verse ain't the only thing that got cut, just ask your wrists
I already took my picture for the next round after this
So, voters… I think y'all know whose verse reads better
Slyck can't live up to his name, let alone his first 3 letters :)


vs Moniker

E2's he who's causing the hum in your brain, makin fun of your pain
Call me Marshall, cause I'll "Faulk" you since I'm "running this game"
I'm one in the same with darkness, cause my sight is pale and gloomy
You could be Graham Greene filing suit and still would fail to "Sioux" me
Now stop your mess, you're not the best, I'll chop your flesh
And cremate the Grim Reaper just to make it "hot to death"
So watch your text, while this master moves through miscues
I bet you cry when you masturbate so you have to use two tissues
I'm reducing Moniker's primitive acts and motives to crumbs
Son, how you gonna grip the mic when you lack opposable thumbs?
Before this battle, Michael was steadily talking shit with zeal
But now he's like mute nuns in a convent, cause all his "lips are sealed"
Yet you fail to realize that the severity of the carnage my vocals spawn
Is like sticking your hand down the drain when the garbage disposal's on
While I'm uplifting fears of flames to leave you pissed with tears of rage
I'd embarrass you PUBlically, but you're only fifteen years of age
So nothing you say can entice this vet to respect your indecisive rep
Cause you're driving me crazy and you ain't even got a license yet
So why you gotta act lewd? Clap you if you're that rude- infact, dude
The only way you're "ballin" is all on Weapon X's sack-pubes
You're wack, cubed- rubbish to the third power- less than meaningless
While my light shines so bright that y'all wear Ray-Bans reading this
Hey man, eat a dick- and be prepared, for when my talk'll cause a mic eruption
I'll thin you out worse than Calista Flockhart after liposuction
All my enemies are food, you know that- I readily prove my foes lack
To display the skill that just ain't there like Ebenezer Scrooge's Prozac
On your brother, Nate, is where you're aimin sperm, you flaimin herb
You founded the first gay publication and named it "Lay-men's Terms"
I'd turn this slaughterer to mince meat, but my monitor prevents me
So just remember if I was the president, you'd be Moniker Lewinsky
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Old 02-03-2013, 04:19 PM   #2
trap.
Senior Citizen
 
Join Date: Aug 1997
Posts: 3,871
Battle Record: 4-3



Rep Power: 0
trap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant futuretrap. has a brilliant future
Default

vs Rudge1 (2 Rounds)

Stop and see that you to text is like Black and Decker to cosmetics
You're writing with skills less seen than rapping lepers with prosthetics
I'm the reason for this basis, now gaze as Jesus ruptures faces
And since I left your knees hooked up to braces- you can't "flea" much like
the bassist
I read your stuff in patience- hoping you might throw some mad clout
But Rudge1 does more "rim jobs" than Shawn Kemp in a bathhouse
I've been tempted to pass out- from the wackness of your choke holds
See, I asked Rudge if he'd toke bowls- and he said "sure I love to smoke
poles"
So fuck your homo, sober ass- I know you're reminiscing about the days of old
When you use to party by renting gay porn and drinking a case of Jolt
My very appearance causes your automatic fear and mechanical panic
Since I saw you sucking the crocodile hunter's dick on the Animal Planet
In an interview you said "I can't write, and '91was the last I read rhymes"
So I'mma be sleepin on your shit, cause it's way past my bedtime
And I'm saddened, cause you brag at Mr. Universe contests, "I've had him"
So, yo Adam, is it ok if I just add an M and call you madam?
Cause you're a fag and everyone knows I'm rippin your edible replies publicly
Leaving you with more bandages than medical supply companies
You can't contest this you deaf bitch, cause steppin to me when my breath's
crisp
Is like Kevorkian's victim's, cause Rudge- you must got a death wish
Ain't no room to give this bastard comfort- I'mma smash your bumper
While this mass-debunker and master plunders this faggot ass-spelunker
Once, you were enemy one- but blown down from faking melodies, son
See I ain't even warm and I'm blazin you like your hometown in 1871
Since Chicago "bears" no pro by the name of this shitty, starvin, brash geek
Because my verses "get more looks" than both of Ricky Martin's ass-cheeks


I see we meet again, except this time you had to FIND some extra lines
& that's the reason why you got all those hyphens-in-that-rhyme
I leave asses painted, & you got a smudged bum- want a grudge, son?
You ain't fought a battle yet, but you're about to dRUDGE 1
You're breathing on the fumes left wheezing on this dude's breath
So what if you beat Oracle; he ain't even got a pube yet
Wait, what am I talking about- neither do you, your riders are few
But that's because your recitals are too crude to reside with a crew
Even biters refute plagiarizing your stuff since it's so horribly wack
You'd probably make this battle racial saying, 'There's no ignoring me- black'
Yet seeing how weakened your text is, there's no need to impress kids
I'll bet you'd pop your blowup doll just to leave a bitch 'breathless'
Bionic leagues of force are forged in legions warped with seething warts
In honesty, of course- I'm sicker than moldy cottage cheese & borscht
I attack with wondrous, youthful vision- my acupuncture bruises rhythm
But you're so terribly unskilled that 'wack' becomes a euphemism
Everyone knows I bust a nut because my prose erupts with lust
Rudge only lives in the 'windy city' because he blows & sucks so much
& hoes would love to clutch my dick except you're always riding it
Even the last one was decided, kid- only god knows why you tried again
Hey Adam, I'mma steal Eve & leave you strangling on a digital tether
Cause all you are is a Trojan since you were 'ribbed' for her pleasure
You got no brains, my one syllable is better than your whole page
Your dumbass thought 'Madagascar' was ghetto slang for 'road rage'
This rogue raids your media zoo- my devious clues are feasibly true
& victory's like a supermodel because I make it so 'ease E2 do'
I'll menace this lame rapper 'till his reticent brain splatters
Cause I got my 'name inside his head' just like Jennifer's 'Grey matter'
Adam's so greasy that petroleum jelly's now play-doh to Rudge
I'll take out your tongue & inject heroin so you can't 'say no to drugs'
Your horrid typing failed- fuck a reign; my torrents strike with hail
Rudge is left to nurse his wounds just like Florence Nightingale
You're child's play, don't even think your maturation's spawning
You're too busy throwing pebbles while I'm saturation bombing
Why'd I prepare the fanciest script? This player- Evantheus rips
You're the pansiest bitch, stop asking to share the championship
This transient's sick of everything your Nazarite ass recites
Cause my soul's glow turns hoes into PermAFROdites
E2's a machine, & remains calm when this impatient slut revolts
Cause every time I battle Rudge, he licks my nuts and 'bolts'
I enlighten by receiving rays; you're the tireless type in need of praise
It's obvious Rudge is dyslexic, watch him try & recite his CBA's
Thinking of trying to challenge me? Go get your head scanned in sections
Cause that's a penalty that's stiffer than a dead man's erection
Like the Rose with abortion this is where the choice stops
Evan's got so many rhymes, I had to install another voice box
You're 'bananas' thinking 'split' personalities won't leave both of you dead
Your focus'll shed- as I'm bashing this championship trophy over your head
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Old 06-07-2018, 05:04 PM   #3
sral
Shrewd as evearthed
 
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899391
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Default

"God Speed, Hallowed Bird- Thanksgiving special" (2005)

"Geeeet iiiiin my gastrointestinal traaaaaaact"

God speed, hallowed bird—bearer of thine bounty
Thy will is great, though defeated you were soundly
Gently roasting at 275 for 12 hours, breast down
Rest now, save thine juices 'til I ingest thou
Oh sweet Jesus, please pass the rolls,
Gravy, stuffing, and green bean casserole
About to explode, but I can’t really stop
Hook me up with some more of that cranberry sauce
Oh, gosh—I musta gained three sizes
Nothing’s lookin better than them pumpkin pies is
It’s the football, the feast, the time of the year it’s set
T-day ain’t just one thing, it’s a cumulative effect
But if I had to pick one reason above all the rest
I guess it’s the leftovers, better than sex
So wherever you ate, kid—I hope you got a piece
From the casino buffet line to a cold Iraqi feast
God speed, hallowed bird—or if you’re from the south
God speed, turducken—Happy T-day, I’m out


Where's the Pepto
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Old 06-07-2018, 05:24 PM   #4
sral
Shrewd as evearthed
 
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899391
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default

"When You Were" (2013)


At 16 you were so sweet, I tailgated jailbait
Lay awake at night and knew I couldn't stay away
When you were 21 and partying at the clubs
I was starting to figure out it's hard to be your love
When you were 26, you were screwing plenty dicks
It's a good thing for me I don't give many shits
When you were 29, such a mess (you were fine)
"Set aside you and I--foolish pride," you would jibe
When you were 34, going through your third divorce
At court someone called you a worthless dirty whore
At 38 you had two kids but your hips was still great
Your wits were amazing, your tits were both fake
When you were 43, you wasn't over the hill
You was choking Hoboken hoagies sober or swilled
When you were 50: half a sench, still had half an ass to mention
I woulda smashed it fast in less than half a second
When you were 57, you were looking pissed as ever
Gazing up at heaven thinking, "where the hell is Evan?"
Now you're 65, matter of fact--so am I
Maybe we could get a drink and retire tonight...
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Old 06-07-2018, 05:28 PM   #5
sral
Shrewd as evearthed
 
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899391
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default

"I Am The World" (2002)

I am the world, the oceans are my blood
Continents are skin; the atmosphere- my lungs
I’ve no energy left, you spent it all- now I’m done
But I can’t leave, my life revolves around my sun
Even Jimi Hendrix called my Axis Bold as Love
The equator is my belt, but Atlas holds me up
Every time I sweat, it’s like a thick dew falls
Plus I’m sexually frustrated; I’m a big blue-ball
If I ever get my ozone fixed, well that’ll be the day
Why chop down the rainforests? I don’t need a shave
My canyons are cuts & gashes break open chasms
Tectonic plates are muscles, earthquakes are spasms
Half of me shivers while the other half wallows in heat
I just wish the moon would stop following me
Volcanoes are my zits, spewing pus born in mantle
I’ve been here long enough to blow out 4 billion candles
My craters are bruises & I’ve got ‘em all the way ‘round
But who threw these rocks? Bullies on the playground?
I’m stargazing, staring every bright light down
Other planets are jealous I’ve got life right now
Just lay down on your belly… we’ll be face to face
I am the world & all I do is take up space

Indelible PmP


mp3.com/ObCom
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Old 06-07-2018, 05:47 PM   #6
sral
Shrewd as evearthed
 
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899391
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
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"Smoking Section 16" (2011)

First time I smelled it, I wanted a drag--“it’s gotta be bad”
I took one draw then I stole my friend’s pack
In fact I ain’t stopped smoking since then
No really--each cigarette lit the next until this...
But I ain’t gonna put it out, marlboro or parliament
I’m coughin up margarine so hard I see stars from it
I’m an alcoholic--but wait, it’s not what you think
Honestly, man... I only smoke when I drink
And when I say I smoke filters I aint talking about the type
I mean I smoke the PAST the filter -- anyone got a light?
Smack a patch on my dick and jack off to pics
I get a rash but the fix comes so fast I can’t quit
Prolly smoke during chemo, and if they got a bad word
Tell em “Doctor, lung cancer don’t mean ‘can’t’, sir”--
No answer... Can’t recall days with no tar--kids: don’t start
I smoked so much, Bogart say “yo, he go hard”
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Old 06-08-2018, 04:48 AM   #7
sral
Shrewd as evearthed
 
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899391
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default

"Craigslist Personal Ad" (2009)

Posted today on craigslist

Hey ladies, how ya doin? Let’s just say my name is John
And I’m looking for a Jane Doe to take home to mom
Wait, no—that’s wrong; I just wanna have some fun tonight
And see what it’s like when you swallow my come and die
My sex drive is vicious, guess I like killing beavers
My dick’s a lethal weapon… that’s why it’s 9 millimeters
I mean it. About me: I’m 6 feet tall and I’m wild at heart
Sure, I don’t drink or smoke but I’m trying to start
I still live with my parents, cause no rent is the bomb
But don’t worry, we can do it in their bed when they’re gone
So let’s get it on; I want sex for free, please cross-dress for me
While we watch MTV and swap STDs
Oh yeah, um… I got herpes—I hope that don’t bother you
But I’m not a fool… shit, chances are you got it too
I hate pets—they’ll make me sick when they’re watching us fuck
I’ll vomit if I’m conscious enough when I’m knocking you up
But I sort of feel relieved that I’m morbidly obese
Cause all that really means is there’s more of me to please
So no matter how desperate your lovelife seems
Just remember you’re on craigslist, girl… just like me
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Old 06-08-2018, 05:08 AM   #8
sral
Shrewd as evearthed
 
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3


Champed
- Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II

Rep Power: 85899391
sral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond reputesral has a reputation beyond repute
Default

"Dear Mathyou" (2009)

My Dearest Mathyou,

As I pen this epistle, I’m a man on a mission
I send you this missive in the hopes that you’ll get it
I wanna ride off into the sunset with you on a t-rex
Talk about the birds and the bees, then play with your penis
Get down on my knees and please Jesus
Feel his salvation on my face—yeah, I need this
On the sixth day God made your dick and saw that it was hard
On the seventh day he rested, but watched it from afar
We can snuggle and watch Glenn Beck and then Left Behind
And wait for the apocalypse until the end of time
In bed you’re so fine, hot like Tabasco all night
If god hates gays why’d he make your asshole so tight?
Place your hand on my dick and pretend it’s the bible
There’s only one passage: Vas Deferens—recite it
It’s like this: Mathyou, we aint fucked in months
There ain’t no second coming, I done busted once
But whenever you come, just holler in pain
I’ll wipe it up with the shroud of Turin… it’s already stained

REPENT AND BELIEVE IN JESUS H. CHRIST
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