12-02-2019, 02:16 AM | #1 |
living
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dead man, chicken soup
will you
ask me a question so i can tell you a lie. let me inside, please sell me your silence. keep it quiet as kept. privately wept laughing in public, grasping for something - step closer, red rover these games we played as children would eventually mold us. our father tried his best to keep a smile on our face with contentment on a trial-only basis. simple minds complex arrangements. transformative our metaphase everlasting ever-changing. sleepy calm, i'm better anxious Excedrin every 7am. red X on the destination settled in dissension, honey jameson and echinacea metal chambers - ready, aim. then left it to chance hell is a paradise, heaven a casting call for devils who act like classic westerns measure a man. revolver barrel. ready your hand target acquired. lusting bloodshed like an author inspired to carve his denial. black marker reprisal. graf in the hall, please draw me a smile in 5 whenever action is called lacquer in walkways smell the acetone drip i'm a man alone in stereo like gramophone clicks battle-broken. sad composer cracking a fifth blackstone barricade break back into brick. it happens in instants that which years were invested, piercing perceptive you knew inside a moment i was seriously fucked deer in the headrest. pure adrenaline. sabotage friendships puddle splash our photographs and all of their negatives we're amethyst and ruby slash dilapidated rooves nostalgic for a mood like sipping Cambells chicken soup hammer-fist my stanza pattern analytic fool academic half-inventive / halfway in a tomb statuesque idolatry like pillars and pulpits, Religulous troupes submit misinformation praise attention and views send me to Jupiter i've been intending to move yet stayed where comfort held me close, domestic abuse how i've leaned into YOU for all my deeper reflection feet at the edge. cliffside constantly we're seeking remembrance easing tension. drifting on a sea of regret weak as an infant. forgive me i've been thinking too much breathing gaslight epitaphs for nobody but a selfish vindication 7 years in advance hoping it can guide me towards a feeling that lasts catch me covered in corpses. drunk at 1 in the morning confusing lust for love and writing nothing important subtle contortive phrase amorphous slave to this force our pain is gorgeous. praying for torture. please hate me even more thank you
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Zack Wicks for president |
12-02-2019, 10:41 PM | #2 |
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i dont get how no one is commenting on this shit yet.
lacquer in walkways smell the acetone drip i'm a man alone in stereo like gramophone clicks battle-broken. sad composer cracking a fifth blackstone barricade break back into brick. it happens in instants loved this. i'm always impressed when people can do this style puddle splash our photographs and all of their negatives this obviously wasnt the only line that did this for me but your imagery throughout this whole thing was impressive like always hammer-fist my stanza pattern analytic fool academic half-inventive / halfway in a tomb super smooth catch me covered in corpses. drunk at 1 in the morning confusing lust for love and writing nothing important subtle contortive phrase amorphous slave to this force that shit was fire. i really dont know how you do it dude. maybe i feel like we have an understanding bc i relate, and i dont even have to know the specific person you're talking about. maybe i'm not as quick-witted and deep as the rest of the true writers here to figure it out, but i can relate and i find it honest. honest writing is art. period. thanks for always coming real with it. truly gifted |
12-10-2019, 10:29 PM | #3 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
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thank you bodey
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Zack Wicks for president |
12-11-2019, 12:23 AM | #4 |
Banned
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blackstone barricade break back into brick.
Say that 5X fast dead man! |
12-24-2019, 09:36 PM | #5 |
obsessed
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i think i like it more when you start writing with less of a focus on the stanzas you want to overlap within each other, and more when you start speaking to the audience like a story is being told in live action rather than something happened awhile ago, like, you're telling your side of the story but you still want to explain your feelings and why you thought the way you did and why you reacted and felt the way you did in those instants. And so forth.
You catching my drift? It's really cool, because then, there less pauses, and the pauses created are observably more organic rather than situational material that pauses intentionally. Pause and go, stop and continue. |
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