Astronomical Dreams

oats · 06-18-2013, 03:06 PM

in the beginning our existence was akin to a black void
then it happened - a crash of platinum and iridium alloys
since then the tune of evolution has been written from that noise
as life stemmed from the materials delivered on asteroids
some call it coincidence, some divine intervention
either way it seems to be a hopeful cry for attention.
so take a little dipper in the pool of Ursa Minor's reflection
and realize we're looking home when we read the skies for direction

but now Orion's perplexed and Andromeda's furrow-browed
as they tippy-toe to poke their nose above the walls of a burning cloud
but this smog could be solved if we were able to turn around
but we can't - we're in line for the iphone cuz the upgraded version's out
what was once a staple of discovery is choking in small seams
we've relegated the heavens to what most of us call "dreams"
the void has returned in the form of issues never resolving
a new darkness is upon us: Man, the measure of all things

humanity is damned - it's Malthusian principle
since the peak in population's been confused with our pinnacle
now the internet is getting us foolishly cynical
look, even the Mayan calendar is moving to digital
we all got our problems - mental or physical - from Rasputin to Sitting Bull
though plenty red flags are waving we construe them as indigo
cuz our mood is our citadel: a tumor is minuscule
if there's no blood then fuck it, that wound isn't critical!
so chew on this riddle next time you chew your McGriddle
how famine for the masses means a feast for few individuals
respect to Buddha, Jesus and Confucius teachings - but the truth is more visceral
the places food is allocated is what humans are driven to

this movement is cyclical, don't even bother to run
cuz the sins of the father are reincarnate in sons
amongst celestial bodies, we're what the bodies become
but the sum of the parts is only part of the sum
we like to think of ourselves as the heart or the lung
but in this galaxy, reality's we're just the gargling tongue
the divisions and mistakes that we live with and embrace
are indications of the monumental carnage we've done
a terrorist for many is a martyr to some
and when we label each other, that's what they start to become
yet we're lauded and applauded for the scars that we've won
it's a curse, so further into darkness we plunge.
if we could only see that every star is our sun
then maybe we'd remember...that we are all one

Geno · 06-18-2013, 09:55 PM

Whooaaaaa. This is a dope ass piece. Too heavy for me to feed rite now, but I will definitely be hitting you up with a breakdown soon.

I'm thinking this might get nommed as well, after I break it down of course. I got you though. Ill shit oats

Vulgar · 06-18-2013, 11:12 PM

A well rounded piece with nice amounts of meat in the form of sentiments that can reverberate with the reader, taking them on a dissertational journey as they travel from line to line on the galactic (modernism is overrated) express. That Malthusian line was excellent, and for me the first stanza was the strongest of the verse. Overall, a complete drop and a respectable presentation about our alignment with the outer regions.

Keep doing you

Geno · 06-20-2013, 11:37 PM

Oats, what's up homie. Here's the feed I promised you my G

Thought this piece w

in the beginning our existence was akin to a black void
then it happened - a crash of platinum and iridium alloys
since then the tune of evolution has been written from that noise
as life stemmed from the materials delivered on asteroids

this segment was hella dope and the scheme was smooth as hell to me. Loved how you pulled this opening set of bars off and ended your syllables with the asteroids. Ill way to set the vibe

some call it coincidence, some divine intervention
either way it seems to be a hopeful cry for attention.
so take a little dipper in the pool of Ursa Minor's reflection
and realize we're looking home when we read the skies for direction

This right here is a typical trademark style I find in a lot of your works. You go frrom a dope pictorial image into what or how a person is affected by the picture you just drew. After a vivid display of what were supposed to be seeing.. bam, you pull a message from the mind of human kind out of th hat and quickly make it a relateable image.

but now Orion's perplexed and Andromeda's furrow-browed
as they tippy-toe to poke their nose above the walls of a burning cloud
but this smog could be solved if we were able to turn around
but we can't - we're in line for the iphone cuz the upgraded version's out

Lmao. So true. Its like wow, look at the big picture of things and you see how much ignorance we display towards the things that matter most. But then uhoh -don't let the fucking new iphone drop.. cause now everyone gives a fuck and is standing in liine wasting time and money on something far less imporrtant/valuable than the world we've destroyed to create that very same technology. Mindless fucks are we the peopl. Smh. Strongg message

what was once a staple of discovery is choking in small seams
we've relegated the heavens to what most of us call "dreams"
the void has returned in the form of issues never resolving
a new darkness is upon us: Man, the measure of all things

this had a deep feel to it. Dug what you were doing here

humanity is damned - it's Malthusian principle
since the peak in population's been confused with our pinnacle
now the internet is getting us foolishly cynical
look, even the Mayan calendar is moving to digital

Lmfaoo. So dope. The problem -or maybe its not a problem at all and its the beautiful elevation of the world and the people in it.. is how we've simply put down all of our roots and begun to pick up things in the future. I mean wtf, what happens when the worlds technology fails and we have no choice to be primitive again? Your gonna see a world of fucking pussies and bitches who can't survive because they don't know how to use a knife anymore and spend to muc time on their phones and shit lmao

we all got our problems - mental or physical - from Rasputin to Sitting Bull
though plenty red flags are waving we construe them as indigo
cuz our mood is our citadel: a tumor is minuscule
if there's no blood then fuck it, that wound isn't critical!
so chew on this riddle next time you chew your McGriddle
how famine for the masses means a feast for few individuals
respect to Buddha, Jesus and Confucius teachings - but the truth is more visceral
the places food is allocated is what humans are driven to

Hahaha, this whole section was fucking dope dog. Serious knowledge and a sick flow to go with it. Nasty oats, forr real

this movement is cyclical, don't even bother to run
cuz the sins of the father are reincarnate in sons
amongst celestial bodies, we're what the bodies become
but the sum of the parts is only part of the sum
we like to think of ourselves as the heart or the lung
but in this galaxy, reality's we're just the gargling tongue
the divisions and mistakes that we live with and embrace
are indications of the monumental carnage we've done
a terrorist for many is a martyr to some
and when we label each other, that's what they start to become
yet we're lauded and applauded for the scars that we've won
it's a curse, so further into darkness we plunge.
if we could only see that every star is our sun
then maybe we'd remember...that we are all one

Hey, enjoyed the entire piece.. I'm copping out and cutting it short again lolol. Falling asleep while I'm typing. But yo, I'm def NOMINATING THIS FOR HOF. Thought this shit was a dope ass drop as a whole and it should NOT be getting slept on

Wake up you fucks
And yo oats.. check ya fucking PM box. Don't be sleeping on our collab bro. Iis your go man, all I need is 8 lines dog lmmfaooooo @oats

GET ON IT YOU FUCK LMAO

HOF NOM'D. STOP SLEEPING FoLKS

Wise Wiggles · 06-21-2013, 01:35 AM

dug this shit right heaa
Mcgriddles are bomb. Thought the third section is where you went off the most. Kept me reading though for the length. Good job.

NYCSPITZ · 06-21-2013, 02:03 AM

yea this was tight, i'll expound on specifics l8er

Eŋg · 06-23-2013, 12:08 AM

I thought it was some pretty stellar shit for what it was, you're an intelligent writer with a strong grasp on rhythm, and there's more than enough reason: conceptually you can bring thought-provoking matter on a platter to the table, where I certainly found some resonance, to boot. I agree with whoever said the first verse was most impressive, I enjoyed the crisper, clearer final verse too, but nothing in between was unsavoury. Enjoyed it quite a lot.

And I'm sure I've fed this before, at length.

oats · 06-23-2013, 01:34 AM

@oXus who are you? I don't think I ever posted this on NC that's why.

Illume · 06-24-2013, 12:10 PM

Amazing. Every line. I was gonna post my favourite part but it's all good. Best rap I've read in a long time.

06-18-2013, 03:06 PM	#1
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,073 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005425	Astronomical Dreams in the beginning our existence was akin to a black void then it happened - a crash of platinum and iridium alloys since then the tune of evolution has been written from that noise as life stemmed from the materials delivered on asteroids some call it coincidence, some divine intervention either way it seems to be a hopeful cry for attention. so take a little dipper in the pool of Ursa Minor's reflection and realize we're looking home when we read the skies for direction but now Orion's perplexed and Andromeda's furrow-browed as they tippy-toe to poke their nose above the walls of a burning cloud but this smog could be solved if we were able to turn around but we can't - we're in line for the iphone cuz the upgraded version's out what was once a staple of discovery is choking in small seams we've relegated the heavens to what most of us call "dreams" the void has returned in the form of issues never resolving a new darkness is upon us: Man, the measure of all things humanity is damned - it's Malthusian principle since the peak in population's been confused with our pinnacle now the internet is getting us foolishly cynical look, even the Mayan calendar is moving to digital we all got our problems - mental or physical - from Rasputin to Sitting Bull though plenty red flags are waving we construe them as indigo cuz our mood is our citadel: a tumor is minuscule if there's no blood then fuck it, that wound isn't critical! so chew on this riddle next time you chew your McGriddle how famine for the masses means a feast for few individuals respect to Buddha, Jesus and Confucius teachings - but the truth is more visceral the places food is allocated is what humans are driven to this movement is cyclical, don't even bother to run cuz the sins of the father are reincarnate in sons amongst celestial bodies, we're what the bodies become but the sum of the parts is only part of the sum we like to think of ourselves as the heart or the lung but in this galaxy, reality's we're just the gargling tongue the divisions and mistakes that we live with and embrace are indications of the monumental carnage we've done a terrorist for many is a martyr to some and when we label each other, that's what they start to become yet we're lauded and applauded for the scars that we've won it's a curse, so further into darkness we plunge. if we could only see that every star is our sun then maybe we'd remember...that we are all one

06-18-2013, 09:55 PM	#2
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,325 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Whooaaaaa. This is a dope ass piece. Too heavy for me to feed rite now, but I will definitely be hitting you up with a breakdown soon. I'm thinking this might get nommed as well, after I break it down of course. I got you though. Ill shit oats __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

06-20-2013, 11:37 PM	#4
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,325 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Oats, what's up homie. Here's the feed I promised you my G Thought this piece w in the beginning our existence was akin to a black void then it happened - a crash of platinum and iridium alloys since then the tune of evolution has been written from that noise as life stemmed from the materials delivered on asteroids this segment was hella dope and the scheme was smooth as hell to me. Loved how you pulled this opening set of bars off and ended your syllables with the asteroids. Ill way to set the vibe some call it coincidence, some divine intervention either way it seems to be a hopeful cry for attention. so take a little dipper in the pool of Ursa Minor's reflection and realize we're looking home when we read the skies for direction This right here is a typical trademark style I find in a lot of your works. You go frrom a dope pictorial image into what or how a person is affected by the picture you just drew. After a vivid display of what were supposed to be seeing.. bam, you pull a message from the mind of human kind out of th hat and quickly make it a relateable image. but now Orion's perplexed and Andromeda's furrow-browed as they tippy-toe to poke their nose above the walls of a burning cloud but this smog could be solved if we were able to turn around but we can't - we're in line for the iphone cuz the upgraded version's out Lmao. So true. Its like wow, look at the big picture of things and you see how much ignorance we display towards the things that matter most. But then uhoh -don't let the fucking new iphone drop.. cause now everyone gives a fuck and is standing in liine wasting time and money on something far less imporrtant/valuable than the world we've destroyed to create that very same technology. Mindless fucks are we the peopl. Smh. Strongg message what was once a staple of discovery is choking in small seams we've relegated the heavens to what most of us call "dreams" the void has returned in the form of issues never resolving a new darkness is upon us: Man, the measure of all things this had a deep feel to it. Dug what you were doing here humanity is damned - it's Malthusian principle since the peak in population's been confused with our pinnacle now the internet is getting us foolishly cynical look, even the Mayan calendar is moving to digital Lmfaoo. So dope. The problem -or maybe its not a problem at all and its the beautiful elevation of the world and the people in it.. is how we've simply put down all of our roots and begun to pick up things in the future. I mean wtf, what happens when the worlds technology fails and we have no choice to be primitive again? Your gonna see a world of fucking pussies and bitches who can't survive because they don't know how to use a knife anymore and spend to muc time on their phones and shit lmao we all got our problems - mental or physical - from Rasputin to Sitting Bull though plenty red flags are waving we construe them as indigo cuz our mood is our citadel: a tumor is minuscule if there's no blood then fuck it, that wound isn't critical! so chew on this riddle next time you chew your McGriddle how famine for the masses means a feast for few individuals respect to Buddha, Jesus and Confucius teachings - but the truth is more visceral the places food is allocated is what humans are driven to Hahaha, this whole section was fucking dope dog. Serious knowledge and a sick flow to go with it. Nasty oats, forr real this movement is cyclical, don't even bother to run cuz the sins of the father are reincarnate in sons amongst celestial bodies, we're what the bodies become but the sum of the parts is only part of the sum we like to think of ourselves as the heart or the lung but in this galaxy, reality's we're just the gargling tongue the divisions and mistakes that we live with and embrace are indications of the monumental carnage we've done a terrorist for many is a martyr to some and when we label each other, that's what they start to become yet we're lauded and applauded for the scars that we've won it's a curse, so further into darkness we plunge. if we could only see that every star is our sun then maybe we'd remember...that we are all one Hey, enjoyed the entire piece.. I'm copping out and cutting it short again lolol. Falling asleep while I'm typing. But yo, I'm def NOMINATING THIS FOR HOF. Thought this shit was a dope ass drop as a whole and it should NOT be getting slept on Wake up you fucks And yo oats.. check ya fucking PM box. Don't be sleeping on our collab bro. Iis your go man, all I need is 8 lines dog lmmfaooooo @oats GET ON IT YOU FUCK LMAO HOF NOM'D. STOP SLEEPING FoLKS __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

06-18-2013, 11:12 PM	#3
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604317	A well rounded piece with nice amounts of meat in the form of sentiments that can reverberate with the reader, taking them on a dissertational journey as they travel from line to line on the galactic (modernism is overrated) express. That Malthusian line was excellent, and for me the first stanza was the strongest of the verse. Overall, a complete drop and a respectable presentation about our alignment with the outer regions. Keep doing you

06-21-2013, 01:35 AM	#5
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,507 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788019	dug this shit right heaa Mcgriddles are bomb. Thought the third section is where you went off the most. Kept me reading though for the length. Good job.

06-21-2013, 02:03 AM	#6
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,033 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743544	yea this was tight, i'll expound on specifics l8er

06-23-2013, 12:08 AM	#7
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,146 Rep Power: 0	I thought it was some pretty stellar shit for what it was, you're an intelligent writer with a strong grasp on rhythm, and there's more than enough reason: conceptually you can bring thought-provoking matter on a platter to the table, where I certainly found some resonance, to boot. I agree with whoever said the first verse was most impressive, I enjoyed the crisper, clearer final verse too, but nothing in between was unsavoury. Enjoyed it quite a lot. And I'm sure I've fed this before, at length.

06-23-2013, 01:34 AM	#8
oats Steel Cut Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 5,073 Battle Record: 19-10 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 79005425	@oXus who are you? I don't think I ever posted this on NC that's why.

06-24-2013, 12:10 PM	#9
Illume Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 145 Rep Power: 671777	Amazing. Every line. I was gonna post my favourite part but it's all good. Best rap I've read in a long time.