07-06-2018, 07:01 AM | #1 | |
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Mindfilled:(A Flow About Nothing)
You don't want no action
static, trouble or smoke Cos fuckin wit homes'll get ya jugular choked Bitch I'll butter ya toast (Put blood on ya clothes) My semi-auto has a button control Tripod and a scope Wit bullets so long They favor the bones Of rhinoceros noses Obnoxious to hoes A monster composed Of Dr. Moreau's Most actrocidous clones Esophagus gulps Of phosphorous flows Impostors behold The Swastika's no Neo-nazi sym·bol It's a rocket ship, bro Of Odin alone When he circled the globe Back when the hole In the ozone was closed And Buddha was known As a tutor in Rome The Tudors exposed As the Roses grew old And the throne of the Pope Was loaded wit gold Madonna was stroked By the holiest ghost Or so it was told to Joseph in hopes The Chosen would know A two parent home Apparently, tho Adultery is wrong Unless you're a god Who's inherently owed The worship of those Who share chromosomes With fairytale gnomes Embarrassing, yo. It's scary, fa sho. I'm rarely opposed My arrogance grows compare me to GOATs My chariot rolls Over various skulls Who dared to impair me with dairy insults Lacking toast at my table Their chairs were unstable They kept tell'n lies Disguised as a fable Unwise to fanagle The laws I decree Tho college is able It's just a degree A fraction of knowledge That's not as complete As the obital route Of three sixty, "weeeeee" Around and around That ol' apple tree That sprung on the Eve The Atom was seeded And gravity's law Was absent but needed Thus enter Sir Issac The alchemist genius Who believed in old magic And practiced the secrets Extracted from Egypt The Elohim teachings The Catholics deleted I've mastered the treatment Of mapping the kingdom In fact I have seen it - The Fountain of Youth - A Mountain of Dew Surrounded by troops Who pee in its stream And package the juice That's green as the greed Of the capitalist view A catalyst to A segway of thought Ur brain and pet rock And a lazy robot Are all just as useless As race in a box That's total nonsense Psychobabble wit frills But they'll say I've got skills If my phrasing appeals To their favorite ideals It's amazing Unreal What gets praised in this field This basic sand lot Where the bases are filled With past their prime players That are akin to eels With no electrical shock Just claim to be ill Except when they drop Their sloppy attempts At tryna be hot But balantly flop! Which makes me say "Ha" Like Juve and Wayne I'll loosely explain I'm Søren exploring The Lutheran Plane Existinal games Champagne that rains On nuclear flames The fusion could take A day to complete No way to compete With makeshift M.D.s Who doctor their rhymes And fake ass emcees All baiting the sheep Wit ABC schemes Whom make em believe They're amazingly deep Yeah, maybe I'm sleep Or awake in a dream Where the gangsters are weak And afraid of these geeks Wit no rank in streets But claim to be Meech When you can't breach the screen Now Screech is a G A Maybelline baby Of digital sorts Whose original form Is feeble and short But people are people Yes, even these dorks Of course...
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Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 07-16-2018 at 01:06 AM. |
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07-06-2018, 01:51 PM | #2 | |
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the first half of alternative knowledge was interesting. The second half was more swaggy, overall I enjoyed it. u kept a solid flow and scheme for the entirety...
and my favorite line was Now Screech is a G tru that. Keep coming back sir.
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07-08-2018, 12:14 PM | #3 | |
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Thanks for the read and feed, V.
Respect.
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07-17-2018, 01:52 AM | #4 |
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Firstly, my comments mean nothin' lol...secondly, thank you for always droppin' critique on my pieces...I write for me & no one but me so yeah, Gracias.
I don't think I've ever read a verse like this with super shortened bars, normally hate when cats pen things different or paragraph like, but...you nailed it. You don't want no action static, trouble or smoke Cos fuckin wit homes'll get ya jugular choked Bitch I'll butter ya toast (Put blood on ya clothes) My semi-auto has a button control Tripod and a scope Wit bullets so long They favor the bones Of rhinoceros noses Obnoxious to hoes A monster composed Of Dr. Moreau's Most actrocidous clones Esophagus gulps Of phosphorous flows Impostors behold The Swastika's no Neo-nazi sym·bol It's a rocket ship, bro Of Odin alone When he circled the globe ^^Dope. Stay doin' you my nigga. |
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