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Old 01-09-2017, 12:36 AM   #1
e11even
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Exclamation AOWL Season 7 Mag, Week 2-4: "Back on the Rails"



Art of Writing League: Season 7

Weeks 2-4






"Back on the Rails"



*Words to use to get you through:

"It is better to risk starving to death than surrender.
If you give up on your dreams, what's left?" - Jim Carrey



Intro


Hello AOWL world! I'm back (V.V) and we're back for another exciting week in the most beloved writing contest on the interwebs. I would like to follow tradition and thank all the capable minds that contributed prior to this week in championing the mod process for us while we battled for position and status in our favorite league.

Why "Back on the Rails" you ask? Well, this week is our collective rebound from dramas involving our favorite personalities and a return to form with a renewed focus on the text, the primary reason why we do this.

I hope you guys are in good spirits since the holidays are over, and I also hope we all have our 2017 figured out lol. My new year's resolution is to be more assertive in going after my goals this year, so there's that. I'm competing in week 4, but I've been out about 6 months. It's going to be a challenge to make a push into the later weeks of this season.

We've had a spirited few weeks so far, and I'm looking forward to us lighting it up as we move forward!

I'd like to thank my homie Patrown/Asylum for the recruitment. I never saw myself doing this otherwise.


See Inside:


Theme
Reviews

Predictions
BoTW
VoTW
Vote of the Week

Power Ranks & Conclusions
Guest Appearance/ Weekly Feature




Theme


As I have said in prior interviews and statements as Vivid, I am a huge movie person. I rely on reality and movies for inspiration in such a surreal mixture of ridiculousness that it sometimes throws people for a loop. So, in the strictest sense of that, I'm counting on my comedy idol Jim Carrey for assistance as this mag's mascot.



I have also enlisted Cashmere Cat for the vibes. #yaaassss


... and in the words of Mills Lane, LETS GET IT ON!


<IFRAME height=315 src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/0IiRMt9j2mE?rel=0" frameBorder=0 width=560 allowfullscreen></IFRAME>



Birth name: Magnus August Høiberg (age 29)

AKA: Cashmere Cat, DJ Final, Fellepus
Hailing from: Halden, Norway
Genres: Electronic, deep house, dancehall, tropical house, R&B
Occupation(s): DJ, record producer, musician, turntablist
Years active: 2003–present

-Wikipedia






Reviews- Week 1


MMLP (0-0) vs. 2tripple0 (0-0) - MMLP WINS 4-1
Topic: You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"
[11]
MMLP took this battle running with a suspenseful misleading tale about a futbol team's underdog triumph. The rhyming was pretty much MMLP's trademark style, albeit a little lackluster in next level mechanics and polish. The story sort of plateaued before the reveal for me, but in comparison to tripple's verse it shined far more than it should have imo. Tripple had something to say, but obviously could not convey it in a graceful or organized manner. I see the conceptual potential however, and I hope he manages to learn thought organization and verse-planning. In short, I don't disagree with the votes here. Good Job to you both.

Adonis (0-0) vs. Mr. J (0-0) - MR. J WINS 3-2
Topic: Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
[11]
Adonis started off on a homage note, then kind of trailed off onto a piece about either him or J with an ending that didn't quite do anything for me. It completely fell off scheme and messed up the flow from the rest of the piece. The concept could have blossomed into something, but it ended kind of flat. J's verse was crisp and smooth, but some wording confused me on the plot of the story. Overall, J's was the better piece imo. Both these guys have gone above and beyond in the past, so I chalk this up to a week 1 warm up.

Jesodist (0-0) vs. Timeless (0-0) - JESODIST WINS 6-0
Topic: If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it.
[11]
Timeless led the way with a verse that was easy to read and like, yet I couldn't pick up how it nailed the topic. I'm not sure if it was implied somewhere or what, but I like it for what it was. He penned a short about a veteran trying to get his life on track as a janitor, but it jumped between first and third person with a few words thrown in throughout for rhyme's sake. It wasn't a bad piece, but it didn't seem to hit the topic. I'm not entirely sure what I was reading from Jes, but he had many thought-provoking ideas and very slick line and rhyme structure. I'm assuming his purpose was to drop knowledge in his own way. The only thing I didn't like was his wordiness. Tbh, I didn't see a clear winner here aside from Jesodist having more interesting content.

Legion (0-0) vs. Frank (0-0) - FRANK WINS 3-2
Topic: I find that ducks' opinions of me is greatly influenced by whether or not I have bread.
[11]
Frank at his best can spin a yarn a mile long laced with impeccable multies that keep the same assonance throughout the piece all the way to the last line tie-in for nail-in-the-coffin's sake. This verse about ducks and hunters was unreal. Ironic as well that the protagonist (not a duck) was named Donald. Hilarious Easter egg. Legion spat a rap metaphor version of Frank's take on the story to hilarious effect. I liked this verse a lot, and if it was against a lesser opponent he may have won this battle in my opinion.





Reviews- Week 2



2tripple0 (0-1) vs. Coup (0-0) - COUP WINS 5-0
Topic: "The Fall Of The Damned"
[11]
Tripple usually fires first, and in this case he did just that. Another very consistent thing about Tripple is, he'll look at the topic, pause, then completely ignore it as he writes whatever he wants. With some of the language he uses in small doses throughout his works, at some point you have to wonder if he squander's the verses' potential on purpose. Does he have more to offer? I feel that every time I read him, unfortunately. Coup's commentary on Western Religious practice and the reduction of religion in Western life was short and powerful. He seems to really have a knack for concise writing. My only recollection of Coup was his super long verses in the cyphers, so to see this many short verses from him is crazy. Great verse.

Frank (1-0) vs. Sammy (0-0) - FRANK WINS 5-0
Topic: "Poillice Verso"
[11]
Sammy recounted a gladiator battle with a verse that had promise, but faltered in consistent language and allowing the reader to get lost in what character was being focused on. It sounded like the protagonist was the one on the ground in the picture, then it didn't. Frank churned out a trademark-style verse using the same approach, but made it in the vein of Gladiator with good results and half the length of his normal verses. Good job.

Adonis (0-1) vs. Maximus (0-1) - ADONIS WINS 3-2
Topic: "The Sleeping Gypsy"
[11]
Max jumped from race to mom to war to mom in a short piece that had me wondering if he even knew exactly where that piece was going. Switching a few lines around may have done that verse some justice, but the content and what he meant to convey was still there in loose concept. It was an ok verse that squandered the feels of the content though. Adonis dropped an attack on the current state of modern civilization dating back to a simpler nomadic time, the latter of which he favored. His verse was sharp and thought-provoking as he denounced the technology and lifestyle of this age for the jungles of the past.Adonis, however, only grazed the topic as a metaphor, but it did not cost him the win..




Reviews- Week 3


Nigma vs. Asylum
Topic: Kings and Humanity
[11]
Asylum dropped a cool piece about politicians and their position in humanitarian efforts in Yemen, with the armed forces stuck in the middle. Well-written and colorful language made this verse worth reading, and it encapsulated the topic in a real-world way. I liked this verse. Nigma's piece came off really nicely worded and concise. I'm not sure wat the main POV of the piece was, but the overall idea still hit the target by the end of it. This was a very close battle imo.

Maximus vs. Sammy
Topic: The Road to...
[11]
Max dropped a very clean poetic topical that repeatedly hit the open-ended subject and made it easy on the eye. No complaints as the verse was very sound lyrically and structurally. The four roads seemed to signify paths of life and their respective characteristics. Good verse. Sammy dropped a sage food-for-thought type piece that asked thought-provoking questions involving living life with purpose. This was also a good verse, but faltered in scheme and flow in places. This battle could have gone either way.

Jesodist vs. Coup
Topic: Pleasures Divide or forgotten rules
[11]
Coup started it off with a deep verse about a mentally ill (maybe) and lonely girl that imagines her life away in some sort of secluded captivity, and maybe she's trapped in her own mind. This had to be read more than once to surmise even that, so I'm not sure if a scratched the surface of the content he pressed into that verse. His language was very colorful and made me want to understand it more. Jesodist decided to take anger management to a whole new level and blew off steam making a diss verse aimed at the "peasant" that is Coup, apparently. This didn't go off well with voters, but many were amused to some degree.

2Tripple0 vs. InsaneVillain
Topic: A Future Lost
[11]
BOOM! Villain took to a political stance on the President elect and black lives. This verse would have been more interesting if I hadn't heard the rhetoric in this fashion a million times. It was good content, but just not original in presentation. I'm saying this even as someone that can relate, but the road traveled with this verse allows me to be more objective in my grading of it. Tripple is seemingly better when he doesn't try so hard to formulate a concept. His thoughts could be followed, albeit they were all over the place still. He started onto something at the beginning, but then trailed off as per his trademark by proxy.

Razah vs. Adonis
Topic: Balancing Act
[11]
Adonis spat some hot fire about what seems to be himself as a writer. This verse was way better than his week 1 work and I enjoyed reading it. Some rhyming was not perfect, but overall I liked this piece. Razah fired back with a pretty cool love letter between two souls that shouldn't have been together under normal circumstances. This was very well written and reminded me of my early attempts in life to woo females in poem, and failing miserably. Good job guys.

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No-Show Shine- Week 2


Diablo (1-0) vs. UnbornBuddah (0-0) - DIABLO WINS VIA PM VERSE
Topic: "The Red Balloon"
[11]
Verse was PM'd and not released to the public.

Artifice (1-0) vs. NYCSPITZ (1-0) - ARTIFICE WINS BY NO SHOW
Topic: “St George And The Dragon"
[11]
Artifice killed his take on this picture battle topic with exceptional rhyming and flow. The story went on very Frank-ish, but the style of the wording and rhyming gave it its own identity. The story was literally a backstory to the picture, which added almost no depth to the assumption gathered from the picture, but the verse was well-written nonetheless. Great job Arty.

Mr. J vs. Artifice [Mr. J Wins By No Show]
Topic: Shooting Stars
[11]
J jumped it off with a topical of arrogance in the vein of his boarding personality. Very compact, but concise work saying all it needed to in that length and very much driving J's point home: He's the shit and there's nothing a mod can do about it. Good work for what it was.





Predictions
By: Adonis

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2Tripple0 vs. Zunto

I don't know who Zunto is, but considering he dropped zero votes, I'm pretty sure, I'm going to preemptively say fuck this guy and I hope 2k gets a signature win.

2Tripple0 77%

Nigma vs. Sammy


I did not read Nigma verse last week yet, but I read Sammy, and if I can be honest, I think you may be out matched in quite a few areas here. Nigma is that dude who just doesn't have an off night, because even when he does, his worse is better than a handful of writers still. Sammy will need to produce a stellar concept along with decent execution to edge this out. Meanwhile, all Nigma has to do is limit his mistakes.

Nigma 73%


Jesodist vs. Maximus

This will be a relatively back and forth match where the winner will simply edge it out for cutting out any mistake. Maximus will look to earn a win on his heels as he's lost his last two matches by 2-3 votes total. Jesodist always has a near 50/50 record at the end of the season, but this is def a win he needs. Jes will need to produce a throw back concept piece in order to squeak by here, while maximus will keep it close regardless, if he can pan out some decent rhyme schemes to counter the story-telling aspect of jesodist he might be able to get the upset here.

Jesodist 51%


Timeless vs. King Ra. vs. e11even


I'll keep this short for Jah, he almost never shows these days. So that leaves Time, who shows in a very high percentage of match ups, vs. the artist formally known as VividlyVague. Hmmm, we've been down that path before for sure. Time took a week off but is going against a guy who took three off. Vivid has been MIA for some time now, and Timeless is simply as consistent a written you'll find. I think he's recent works will enable him to keep some sense of a groove, while Vivid has a bit of writer block.

Timeless 55%


InsaneVillain vs. Razah

IV did not impress last week, though I'm sure he thought he was dealt a bit of a gimme win; this however, is not. Razah has his own style down to a T, and it rattles him off wins at an impressive clip. IV seems to be known by some of the AOWL vets, so he is liable to come out swinging, I'm in the dark however, as the only verse I can judge him off is last weeks seemingly blasé drop. Razah has earned heavy consideration for best writer on this site over the past two years, and I don't see him dropping two in a row ever, let alone this early in a season.

Razah 63%


Mr. J vs. Coup

How nicely things seem to work out, ay? These two beefed over some shit this past week, enough beef that Jesodist went and wrote about it in his verse while dissing mr. J about it. Coups hound dog apparently. Coup is a talented writer, J is in his own world though man, You better off not letting his antics get to you. That being said, I hope you go for the jugular because J is a writers writer and produces non stop victories, for the most part. This is the most intriguing match up of the young season. Both utilize shorter verses that are more compact. J is known to drop a dud every once in a great while however, so barring that, you'd have to think he has this in the bag right?

Coup 55%


Asylum vs. Adonis


Good luck young blood.








BoTW
by Asylum

Going to shamelessly nominate our battle for this one. I think Nigma dropped a very solid piece and I’m surprised I beat him. I guess being edgy and relevant pays off, because this was seriously fresh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nigma
Former man of empathy, now homeyness consumes my head
Performances at weddings having orgies with the newlyweds
Not sparing any hymen to prepare this dynasty, since
Benevolence a sober thought ensnared by violent things
Now, a day without some liquor is impaired sobriety
Not scared of my designers, I will share their tyranny.
Aware of Mayan chieftain tombs; their spooky demeanour
The tribe is speaking, booing me, I slew the deceivers
Calls echo. Falsetto. Prove your allegiance.
Rule like Julius Caesar teamed with Nubian leaders
That was dope! I enjoyed the historical references throughout, the multiples sprinkled in there and his very clever turns of phrase. It’s a miracle I beat this piece. I just went off a topic I haven’t seen picked yet, and I’m glad if some attention was given to the issues in Yemen as a result of my work.



VoTW


I think Frank wrote the most epic verse last week, it was a great short story. I shared this quote with you all because he painted a vivid enough picture for me to warrant his mention. The vivid imagery and tragic humanity of his words echo with the souls of hundreds of thousands of people who suffered this fate and experienced moments like these in their lives. Great work, Frank.

Quote:
Originally Posted by frank
The Emperor sent out his soldiers, who herded around the Gladiator, converging and scowled
“YOU WORSHIP AND BOW!” The Gladiator reverses the Persians joust, jerkingly jousting into their armor suits - lurchingly slouched
Slurring with blood squirting from their bursting mouths, they gurgle and drown, blood curdling
Now the Gladiator is exerted, cursing this town, who chant his name like rehearsing a vow
The Emperors stunned by the merging affirming vouch, unanimous, the concurring house, blurts “Oust!”
The Coliseum torches burn profound in the kerosene they were doused and whirled around

Vote of the Week


Quote:
Originally Posted by Adonis
Jez- it's not stinged by warts, past tense, stung. Also I'm not positive, but it's a quart of blood, quartz is a type of rock or some shit. OK, so after all that shit, you would think you would mention rules and how coup.stepped out of them. Something of that sort to tie in the topic, but nope. This verse was mad comical though, I don't fully understand it, but that doesn't matter because I feel it was made for a deeper reason. The unspoken rules of sportsmanship shall not be bent? Either way, you approached the concept in good fun, but it's strange your standing up for Jay. I appreciated seeing my name in there given that only three were mentioned, that's an ego thing, hence the name. In any case, topical wise, OK verse. Entertainment wise, highly enjoyable because I took the entire read as a joke and I enjoy the lighter side of topicals.

Coup - hmmmm. The flow, after it picked up, which was a third the way in, flowed effortlessly imo. The poetical imagery was lovely, makes me want to write my verse again, with a different format. Anyways, I enjoyed the read. I don't fully get the concept. The bean portion in the end was dope, vivid, but I'm not sure about the woman you speak of, the alien being. I haven't made sense of it yet. I read it again, it's about a girl, whose different then her peers. Is happy while lost in her mind. The sick bird portion was more revolution, meaning, shes sad about the fact she's different and on her own. Dope image, I can literally draw you a picture of a rose budding next to a withered tree with a bird in it gazing down at the Rose.


V. Coup

His verse was far shorter, but the meat to his kick started my thinking, where Jez verse zoned me out like a movie. Both good styles, one I enjoyed more
Adonis is the patron saint of topical writing. This dude really puts heart into his reviews and with Dad like fortitude, focuses on the positive aspects of any verse. Even ones he doesn’t like. You really have to hand it to this guy, he stepped back up to the plate and still has his heart in the game. Listen to this guy when he gives you advice, everyone. It comes from a good place and he knows what he’s talking about. Nice vote, Adonis.




Outro

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Thank you for making this league worth being a part of and see you next week!

Last edited by e11even; 01-11-2017 at 02:43 AM.
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Old 01-09-2017, 07:13 PM   #2
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Good shit Vivid, I can tell you put in work here, much appreciated
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Old 01-09-2017, 10:14 PM   #3
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Thank you @Rakontur. It was terrible trying to figure things out for the first time.
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Old 01-09-2017, 10:34 PM   #4
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LoL @JESODIST

Nice attempt at being 'original' man
When I get you...If you make it that far...I'm going to use your style
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Old 01-09-2017, 11:49 PM   #5
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Interesting mag. as it slowly releases, section by section, I read every word


Jes is "Coups hound dog apparently"

ha, If jes would have cut that verse by 60% he would have won
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Old 01-10-2017, 01:09 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coup View Post
Interesting mag. as it slowly releases, section by section, I read every word
VV is learning much in a small period kudos to him.

Also, great work VV! Enjoyed this mag!
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Old 01-10-2017, 01:16 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by asylum View Post
VV is learning much in a small period kudos to him.

Also, great work VV! Enjoyed this mag!
Thank you bro! Hopefully we can get this thing done soon lol.
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Old 01-10-2017, 02:51 AM   #8
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Looks like i still have shit to prove.... I like being the underdog...
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Old 01-10-2017, 04:08 AM   #9
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this mag was dope man, i like how u structured it.. props for taking ur time broski
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Old 01-10-2017, 12:37 PM   #10
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Good job man thanks for this... only thing i wpuld have been better was put some quotes in it maybe
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Old 01-10-2017, 02:22 PM   #11
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Dope mag. Appreciate the work you put into this, especially recapping the previous few weeks.

I really liked my first week's verse though, stupid @Frank
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Old 01-10-2017, 02:25 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. J View Post
LoL @JESODIST

Nice attempt at being 'original' man
When I get you...If you make it that far...I'm going to use your style
Spirits, aliens, Gods & Demons, make up for the Lyrical Drought
And don't forget the caps to emphasize the Syllable Count
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Old 01-10-2017, 02:25 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insanevillain View Post
Looks like i still have shit to prove.... I like being the underdog...
Good luck.
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Old 01-10-2017, 05:55 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Razah View Post
Spirits, aliens, Gods & Demons, make up for the Lyrical Drought
And don't forget the caps to emphasize the Syllable Count
Haha love it
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