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Old 06-29-2017, 12:30 AM   #1
big baby
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I'm the saddest man on the planet
dulcet zones become eruptions of death
memorizing vocal tones, or numbing distress
most ballads, hit home, requiem out of balance
such a synergistic release comes from, this basket of malice
ill have it to here - 22oz black coffee french press
sinning continuously, in her black coffee sun dress
anarchy is best dressed, brown leather lounge padded headrest
takes a village to raise a child, theres no one to raise it with us
pillaged through blades of grass, photosynthetic assortment
spilling your flask til its empty, blood served in a brass veil
vivider mass pavilion. mom kept the pictures of dad, still
photo album laminating. magnifying glass on an anthill
steel razor tandem. Dear, anybody, anywhere who has ears
in a position to translate. this ballad i have here
monochromatic morse code
willing to listen. put your phone down. stethoscope to a torso
I trot through universes i never knew that existed,
thinking of becoming perfect with you, seemed so delicious.
I press my lips against windows you've brandished
just to kiss what you've managed to touch
ive become calloused. and rough. galloping stallion tusk
and you vanish
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greed View Post
If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
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Old 06-29-2017, 01:50 PM   #2
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veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas
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Abject disjointed nonsensical psychosis. Up to your usual par.

Grat
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The cerebral assassin, the molder of minds, the Omni potent being. Time transcending traveler, wisdom incarnate. Veritas needs no intro but I guess I have to. He’s not know in the battling world but who doesn’t know veritas? The guy us always original and if you pay attention to his bars, dude brings the heat.. The gawd.
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Old 07-01-2017, 08:45 AM   #3
Tha Pastor Reach Yeah
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^^lol whut!

Maybe I'm just more in-tuned to textcee topical writing but this was really clear to me. The pain and the sadness were being expressed in like a burst of thoughts that splattered throughout your verse.

" Dear, anybody, anywhere who has ears
in a position to translate. this ballad i have here
monochromatic morse code
willing to listen. put your phone down. stethoscope to a torso"

^^This was what really held your verse together. You explained that you were struggling to come to terms with and understand yourself what thoughts were coming out, which made sense of the rest of the verse.
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Old 07-08-2017, 04:49 PM   #4
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this felt like a re-introduction.

all your verses. well, most... feel like a story of your via photo album. if that makes sense. it is almost like a chain of raw imagery that you anticipate your audience to attach to something greater. latch on to what relates and sit there comfortably.

you're meeting us just about halfway and allowing everybody to jump into the openness.

which is excellent, as long as you provide us with somewhere safe to land. which you do. it never feels TOO open or TOO claustrophobic. it is still relatable and strange and sad as you intend it to be. as personal and public as you had anticipated.

thanks. post more

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Old 07-09-2017, 07:57 AM   #5
Fig
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I remember your writtens always having this strong aesthetic appeal for me. Strong, sensuous mood derived from deliberate diction. This probably reads cluttered to anyone with out flow. In moments when you do compromise on the perfect bar flow, its still led along by by the words.
This moved along in a somewhat open endend way, with lines like

Quote:
such a synergistic release comes from, this basket of malice
ill have it to here - 22oz black coffee french press.
Quote:
steel razor tandem. Dear, anybody, anywhere who has ears
in a position to translate. this ballad i have here
working as little transitioning points in advancing and redirecting the meaning. I dont like to stand back and look at your writtens though, i appreciate them better reading from line to line because they read like freestyles or something.
I had to Google like 4 words though and im pissed 4/10
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Old 07-09-2017, 09:19 AM   #6
big baby
obsessed
 
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1

Accomplishments
- can recite entirety of shrek 2

Champed
- tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek

Rep Power: 8599678
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wow thanks!!!!!!!!! k ill post more. nice to see you fig i just mens him u other d-i
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greed View Post
If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
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Old 07-09-2017, 07:38 PM   #7
Fig
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big baby View Post
wow thanks!!!!!!!!! k ill post more. nice to see you fig i just mens him u other d-i
:D
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Old 07-26-2017, 07:40 PM   #8
Geno
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Pretty dope.
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