11-26-2022, 12:38 AM | #1 |
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XI WK 1: Adverse (0-0) vs. Quill (0-0) (QUILL WINS)
Season 11 XI VERSES: Thursday, December, 1st, 11:59 P.M. Western / 2:59 A.M. Eastern / 7:59 A.M. UK. 24 Hour Ext: Mod/Opponent Discretion VOTES: Sunday, December, 4th, 11:59 P.M. Western / 2:59 A.M. Eastern / 7:59 A.M. UK. 3 Vote Requirement Enforced/Penalty MAXIMUM: 48 Lines: 64 IF AGREED UPON! TOPIC:
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Last edited by Frank; 12-13-2022 at 06:52 AM. |
12-01-2022, 05:13 PM | #2 |
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I hit snooze on the alarm...Wasnt ready for the day to start..
Spent the night trying to ignore the cadence of my breaking heart And reminding myself of how you couldn't stay You looked so serene, sleeping just a foot away You said you'd return..I wanted to believe it was true But something deep inside told me Id spent my last evening with you This somber sunlight was slipping through the slots in the blinds... I didn't notice you wake as I wrestled the thoughts in mind Your sleepy smile had me stumbling hard Its a wonder I ever got your bags in the trunk of my car The whole drive to the airport, you said I'd have to remember It was just for a month you'd be back in December So I put on a brave face, as I pulled along side the curb I had so much to say but could not find the words I unloaded your luggage, knowing I'd still be leaving with baggage My spirit was bursting at the seams with the sadness The warmth of your lips..I still remember the scent of you now And the way that your hair swayed as you vanished into the crowd The first week the calls were routine, I would jump for texts But as the weeks passed, they seemed to come through less The calls got shorter...As if mocking the distance And I started feeling like I lost my existence December came...but you didnt... I struggled to adapt to life without you in it.. So much for all our plans for the future You left my heart bandaged & sutured But the wound was reopened when you started screening my calls My life fell apart, everything seemed to dissolve Now I spend most days parked by the fence with a view of the runway Watching the planes take off and dreaming that one day You get off one...Even though I know you won't. Fact is, I still love you, but I know that you don't. I know its irrational, I'm a man of the hard facts But I still come every day and watch them land on the tarmac Its been a year full of tears..swear its been really intense Dropped you off at the terminal...its been killing me since |
12-04-2022, 10:57 PM | #3 |
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Quill:
This was a surprisingly well done verse built on a touching narrative. I thought it was perfect for the topic, more grounded in reality than I would've done, but there is brilliance in simplicity sometimes... I found myself transported to the POV of the character, seeing all the planes come and go in one montage as the protagonist remembers all the days he waited for the love of his life to return... I could almost hear the soundtrack as it reached the crescendo lol. Very well done. Rhyme scheme was fairly simple and predictable yet effective and clean, and most importantly, easy to read and digest. Right up my alley. Sometimes epic isn't better and you proved it here. Good to have you around.
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