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Old 11-26-2022, 12:37 AM   #1
Frank
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Lightbulb XI WK 1: CopyPat (0-0) vs. MMLP (0-0) (MMLP WINS)



Season 11 XI


VERSES: Thursday, December, 1st, 11:59 P.M. Western / 2:59 A.M. Eastern / 7:59 A.M. UK. 24 Hour Ext: Mod/Opponent Discretion

VOTES: Sunday, December, 4th, 11:59 P.M. Western / 2:59 A.M. Eastern / 7:59 A.M. UK. 3 Vote Requirement Enforced/Penalty

MAXIMUM: 48 Lines: 64 IF AGREED UPON!

Goodluck! @CopyPat @MMLP

TOPIC:
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Last edited by Frank; 12-13-2022 at 06:54 AM.
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Old 12-01-2022, 10:39 AM   #2
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Old 12-01-2022, 10:41 AM   #3
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Old 12-01-2022, 10:43 AM   #4
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Old 12-02-2022, 05:12 AM   #5
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Default COME ON ENGLAND!

Now the old lady has left
This Castle has emptied and so forth we move the goalposts
No showboats ranging here as we sail ahead
as one takes the knee, we’ll hear God save the queen
and for the last time we shall pay our respects!
Tyrant, a lioness who campaigned to the end.
just west of Aberdeen,
re-locating eventually with no dates released
as she lay in her bed delaying the inevitable
this international treasure takes her last breath
sending shock waves as one lays a wreath
with bated breath, were all waiting for that state of address
some crack to the pressures as her patriots anxiously fret
a close shave with woke culture disrupts a whole wave of sleep
but come what may, we grieve
as her memory takes in effect
we’ll need a way to remember a day to forget
with uncertainties dragging,
so with purpose we carry her remains on the pavements
but it has nothing on the burden of carrying the weight of a nation in death
yet still showcasing grief, the mobs make a scene
death switches your outlook
as the figurative crowds push you away from the rest
it changes perspective and links the surrounding chain of events
and you start making amendments, paving the way for the present
creating a celebration with the change of a Head
abandoning yesteryear for today’s annual fest
and boom, the nail hits you straight on the head
it’s a man’s world and nothings holding us back
so now were taking them steps down a long one-way street
and there’s no going back
henceforth with long range and speed
we assail with the ranks of leadership
now we move the goalposts with a new man between the sticks
a leader of men, to a new anthem we will sing
Women can live like a queen but every castle needs a King!
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Old 12-04-2022, 07:56 PM   #6
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@MMLP This wasn't bad. I think you did a good job fleshing this out. Checked all the boxes thematically. Mechanically, there were a few places (most early on) that I felt could have been smoother. But all it all, it was a solid verse.
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Old 12-04-2022, 10:55 PM   #7
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MMLP:

You're such a unique talent man. An MMLP verse always stands out and I'm a fan of your writing. Your (sometimes) subtle wordplay and varying rhyme schemes always keeps things fresh. You are surprising in the best ways and always bring new spins on the usual formulaic approach to topicals. Cool connection to the topic too, fairly obvious for a Brit but still worked well.

I think Frank forcing people into battles is a smart move, (I technically didn't sign up either but he enticed me in with the topic) as it allows the usual cautious and selective topical writer to just say screw it and go in, and that's when writers like MMLP here are at their best. Nothing to lose, just straight WRITING, letting your talent and passion shine. You did it again here. I'm happy you decided to post something, even if it's just for a week or two.
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Old 12-05-2022, 08:17 PM   #8
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