"All aboard."

ACTIVATE SELF · 03-15-2018, 07:01 PM

Topical Battle Verse
Date: N/A
Lines: 25-40
Subject: Picture

All Aboard

It was rainy and wet as I wept at the station awaiting a train
To take me to Texas; impatiently pacing like leopards in cages
At circus occasions, my granny was sick & the nurses were saying
They needed a kidney to urgently save her! Emergency prayers
From the clergy at church, at First Mary Hall, where Big Mama worked
As she served as a clerk ... maintaining their records for 33 years
Was worried and feared she'd pass on the gurney as surgery neared
Was nervous and scared cos the verdict's unclear if I'll make it in time
Or burn in despair!?! Fermented tears full of burbon and beers
Cos I cracked opened bottles with pearly veneers, before I arrived
To deal with the fear: the thought of her dying ... not having her here
More than can bear, it'd be more than just bad, to wake up one morning
And know that she's dead, so morbid and sad, still mourning my dad
"Morgan...be back" was the last thing he said ... before he collapsed
On the hospital bed; autopsy read: "...man mortally wounded in motorist crash"
Remortgaged the pad, cos the mortician's tab, was more than we had
Cos a shortage of cash was always an issue! "Daddy, I miss you ...
& wish I was with you ... as long as I live I'll never forget you"
I said in my head ... soul fractured in fractions like fragmented glass!

"So tragic and sad ... your miserable life. It's pitiful, right?
You're taught to believe in some miracle, Christ! Hysterical, hype!
I'm Barington Write, 'The Baron of Death & Burial Rites'
Your chariot ride is soon to arrive, driven by Charon 'The Spiritual Guide'"

"The Ferryman?"

"Aye!"

"You're scary, man. Bye."

"You married the night and it came at a price. I spared you a life
Now it's time to comply. A deal is a deal", he swiftly replied
Nefarious eyes and sinister grin: a midget and menace
Whose business was sin! Like Rumpelstillskin. "Remember this pen?
You signed on the line so that grandma could live!" The station went dim
& filled with a mist as images flickered I witnessed events -- the things that I did
My life in a glimpse! As quick as it ended reality hit! I died on the date
A year to this day, but didn't remember cos limbo replays indefinite loops
As I waited for trains to catch the caboose & take me to Heaven or Hell if it's true!

... CHOO CHOO ...

- Self Activate -

ACTIVATE SELF · 03-16-2018, 11:39 AM

Still I rise.

Elemental P · 03-16-2018, 01:54 PM

I like your topics Activate. You always bring something fresh, coming at this from different angles, wasn't exactly a plot twist I kinda caught on mid way what was gonna happen, but I felt you put more emotion in this than usual, almost as if you experienced something similar yourself. Rhyme scheme on point, flows smooth... Can't say much else but keep grinding homie.

ACTIVATE SELF · 03-16-2018, 02:00 PM

Gracias, EP. Post one up so I can return the favor.

Alice · 03-18-2018, 07:10 PM

I don't think I've left feedback on this before. I'll be back with my thoughts on this by tomorrow, glad you shared this one.

03-15-2018, 07:01 PM	#1
ACTIVATE SELF Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Posts: 732 Battle Record: 2-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 19584275	"All aboard." Topical Battle Verse Date: N/A Lines: 25-40 Subject: Picture *All Aboard* It was rainy and wet as I wept at the station awaiting a train To take me to Texas; impatiently pacing like leopards in cages At circus occasions, my granny was sick & the nurses were saying They needed a kidney to urgently save her! Emergency prayers From the clergy at church, at First Mary Hall, where Big Mama worked As she served as a clerk ... maintaining their records for 33 years Was worried and feared she'd pass on the gurney as surgery neared Was nervous and scared cos the verdict's unclear if I'll make it in time Or burn in despair!?! Fermented tears full of burbon and beers Cos I cracked opened bottles with pearly veneers, before I arrived To deal with the fear: the thought of her dying ... not having her here More than can bear, it'd be more than just bad, to wake up one morning And know that she's dead, so morbid and sad, still mourning my dad "Morgan...be back" was the last thing he said ... before he collapsed On the hospital bed; autopsy read: "...man mortally wounded in motorist crash" Remortgaged the pad, cos the mortician's tab, was more than we had Cos a shortage of cash was always an issue! "Daddy, I miss you ... & wish I was with you ... as long as I live I'll never forget you" I said in my head ... soul fractured in fractions like fragmented glass! "So tragic and sad ... your miserable life. It's pitiful, right? You're taught to believe in some miracle, Christ! Hysterical, hype! I'm Barington Write, 'The Baron of Death & Burial Rites' Your chariot ride is soon to arrive, driven by Charon 'The Spiritual Guide'" "The Ferryman?" "Aye!" "You're scary, man. Bye." "You married the night and it came at a price. I spared you a life Now it's time to comply. A deal is a deal", he swiftly replied Nefarious eyes and sinister grin: a midget and menace Whose business was sin! Like Rumpelstillskin. "Remember this pen? You signed on the line so that grandma could live!" The station went dim & filled with a mist as images flickered I witnessed events -- the things that I did My life in a glimpse! As quick as it ended reality hit! I died on the date A year to this day, but didn't remember cos limbo replays indefinite loops As I waited for trains to catch the caboose & take me to Heaven or Hell if it's true! ... CHOO CHOO ... - Self Activate -

03-16-2018, 11:39 AM	#2
ACTIVATE SELF Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Posts: 732 Battle Record: 2-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 19584275	Still I rise.

03-16-2018, 01:54 PM	#3
Elemental P Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2018 Posts: 856 Rep Power: 4507453	I like your topics Activate. You always bring something fresh, coming at this from different angles, wasn't exactly a plot twist I kinda caught on mid way what was gonna happen, but I felt you put more emotion in this than usual, almost as if you experienced something similar yourself. Rhyme scheme on point, flows smooth... Can't say much else but keep grinding homie.

03-16-2018, 02:00 PM	#4
ACTIVATE SELF Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2017 Posts: 732 Battle Record: 2-1 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 19584275	Gracias, EP. Post one up so I can return the favor.

03-18-2018, 07:10 PM	#5
Alice Member Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 48 Rep Power: 53110	I don't think I've left feedback on this before. I'll be back with my thoughts on this by tomorrow, glad you shared this one.