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Old 06-28-2020, 10:02 PM   #1
Sharp
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Default Orc 0-0 vs Adverse 0-0 - ADVERSE WINS BY NS


Netcees Pic League

Min: 10 Lines
Max: 16 Lines
Line limit can go up to 20 if both agree

Due Thursday, 7/2 at Midnight PST
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Old 06-28-2020, 10:07 PM   #2
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Hell yeah, let's do this go ahead and choose the line limit I'll match your energy fam
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Old 07-01-2020, 03:40 AM   #3
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Got you with 12 bro
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Old 07-01-2020, 11:49 PM   #4
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Fuck it I'm antsy here's 12

Orc’s a storied battler, with a great career that deserves plenty honors
His bars are retarded...so it's only fitting he looks like the real life Jimmy Valmer
Slumped over with that miserable hair piece i need some visual clarity
Because i can't tell if you just hobbled out of rehab or physical therapy
What fitness plan you on my guy? Please sign me up
Because I gotta admit you look totally shredded - well, at least your knee does
A modern medical marvel, really rattling your doctor’s brain
ACL is usually a sports injury, but you hurt yours cheerin for a soccer game
Fucked your mom senseless last night, I told that fat bitch to take it
Already broke her back but he's still lookin down tryna avoid cracks in the pavement
I’m glad you’ve recovered though fam, I have a feeling that hurt
You’ll be posting a similar picture on Insta tomorrow hashtag #WhatHappensWhenYouBattleAdverse

Last edited by Sharp; 07-02-2020 at 05:54 PM. Reason: Editing verse back in per Adverse's request
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Old 07-02-2020, 10:29 AM   #5
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I’m going to be ghost. Can’t find time for this with work and life resuming. You win. Sorry Sharp. Sign me out for the foreseeable.
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Old 07-02-2020, 10:24 PM   #6
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Damn ..
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Old 07-02-2020, 10:39 PM   #7
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I can't see orcs pic to match the lyrics to it to leave u feed
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Old 07-02-2020, 11:29 PM   #8
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the fuck is this shit... adverse looking like a hawaiann hugging a poke ball with a hair line like hulk hogan and you delete ya shit... no offense to adverse... but there could be shit... talk what you go
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Old 07-02-2020, 11:29 PM   #9
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smh
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Old 07-03-2020, 12:32 AM   #10
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the fuck is this shit... adverse looking like a hawaiann hugging a poke ball with a hair line like hulk hogan and you delete ya shit... no offense to adverse... but there could be shit... talk what you go
Hulk Hogan hairline best compliment I've got in awhile thx fam
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Old 07-05-2020, 09:43 AM   #11
Sharp
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I'm assuming most people didn't see orcs pic. I remember it pretty well, but I don't recall every little detail. Take my feed with a grain of salt

Orc’s a storied battler, with a great career that deserves plenty honors
His bars are retarded...so it's only fitting he looks like the real life Jimmy Valmer
this is a solid angle. I like how it was specific to the pic and the type of crutches orc had. Wouldn't count on everyone knowing Jimmy Valmer though. 'Jimmy from South Park' is a safer bet. The setup is a little confusing though. I get that you're using retarded as a compliment, but by doing that you're not making it as much of a punch. If it were me I would've gone for something like 'I know you think your bars are retarded but did you have to dress up as Jimmy' to keep it mean throughout. Of course, you're a different battler, so I'm glad you did it your way too.
Slumped over with that miserable hair piece i need some visual clarity
Because i can't tell if you just hobbled out of rehab or physical therapy
he's coming out of rehab because of his hair? Or does that just exist for the rhyme scheme?
What fitness plan you on my guy? Please sign me up
Because I gotta admit you look totally shredded - well, at least your knee does
I really fuck with this one. I would've made it the opener. It's similar to how your opener started with a fake friendly tone but a more concise and effective bar.
A modern medical marvel, really rattling your doctor’s brain
ACL is usually a sports injury, but you hurt yours cheerin for a soccer game
this one's just kind of meh. The angle itself is bad, but the joke itself is standalone funny
Fucked your mom senseless last night, I told that fat bitch to take it
Already broke her back but he's still lookin down tryna avoid cracks in the pavement
almost distractingly simple tbh. I would've drawn attention to the looking down thing in the setup because it sounds like the bar is mostly a diss towards his mom (until the punchline).
I’m glad you’ve recovered though fam, I have a feeling that hurt
You’ll be posting a similar picture on Insta tomorrow hashtag #WhatHappensWhenYouBattleAdverse
so you've changed your tone for the setup in half of your bars. If you piece a verse together over the week, it's easy to miss. Reading it straight through, though, it's pretty obvious. The punch itself is okay, but I think you could've gotten it across with less clunky wording. "how'd you get that pic from the future???" isn't revolutionary, so I'm glad you tried out the hashtag thing.


Like I said, you're a different person, different style, best that you do it your way. But the changes in tone made it pretty distracting and took away chances for you to get some meaner wording in. The harshest insult you had was directed at Orcs mom. Loved the shredded line.
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