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Old 11-02-2018, 02:05 AM   #1
Exis
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Ayo,

Every nigga here have their optics missin'
Seems they've lost the vision
As this opposition is no competition,
Instead of trollin' over my lyrics like fake proper bitches
You should learn to write some then go & conquer with 'em
Throw in the towel, or lean a little then kneel
Before I continue to box on with that vasaline brow
Or I will literally physically show you...
The meanin' of how reality feels
If you were havin' some doubts I can appease you fa reals
But can you please me from now on?
Nah, 'cause I lyrically know you & you've no ability
No illness in skills,
You tell online cats you play in MK to just "Log on & finish me!"
'Cause your consistently whipped
In this game when your supposed to be winnin' see?

Oh that's right, y'all can't.
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:07 PM   #2
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I was feelin' the first half, up until the vasaline brow line... after that I felt like the flow was harder to follow being totally honest.

I'm guessing this piece is talking about people and politics of the site, in terms of respect and frequency of activity by certain members. I get it.

That being said, realize this site has people who've been doing this for a long ass time and their criticism can be helpful.

the standout lines for me is the

Throw in the towel, or lean a little then kneel
Before I continue to box on with that vasaline brow

You use the imagery well here, the phrasing gives a visual depiction of the struggle you're writing about. More lines like this sprinkled throughout a piece will make it read overall more solid.

keep doing your thing.
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Old 11-18-2018, 11:06 PM   #3
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Appreciate the looks bro, I'll get @ your shit after class yeah...
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