02-03-2021, 09:09 AM | #1 |
Shrewd as evearthed
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COVID-19 is NOT an airborne transmitted virus
Early on back in March last year I was under the impression that this was an airborne virus.
As many of you know, I’ve worked throughout most of the pandemic without issue, maintaining a (more than) 2m safe social distance at work, where we have an industrial strength hand sanitiser before enter the building, we have a quarantine bay where all items into the building (even post) as held for at least a 72 hour period prior to handling, I wear gloves and a mask all throughout my working day, our workplace showroom remains closed to the public (employees only entering, we do most of our business online/telephone anyway), we have temperature testing done throughout our working hours - and nothing is shared. I have taken my eldest child out of nursery, for homeschooling, and we’ve taken this dreadful virus very seriously. The risk simply isn’t worth it. I haven’t seen any of my family or friends in almost a year now (if not longer) as an added precaution. My immediate family that live with me have even worn a mask and gloves for protection while in our household throughout, and we have designated different rooms of our household for us to eat in alone, just to absolutely minimise any risk of transmission amongst us if one were to contract the disease. Now, as some of you were aware, even despite every precaution I have adhered to strictly since March, I was forced to get tested for Coronavirus back in October after I feared transmission had occurred. Keep in mind how cautious I have been throughout this pandemic and I can tell you with absolute certainty that there is only ONE single isolated incident that comes to mind where I believe the transmission could have occurred. I had left our office workplace at lunchtime one day by car, again sanitising my hands before leaving and walking immediately to my vehicle - no contact with anyone - the car park was empty that afternoon besides myself. I still had my gloves on as I opened the car door, as a provision, still wearing my face mask (I had forgotten to remove it, I remember because the strap had rubbed against my right ear and made it sore somewhat). Anyway, all of this is pretty much the norm to me at this point as I do it with such regularity. It’s ingrained in me to do so, almost like I would use to just check for keys, wallet and phone etc I’ve headed into an (otherwise empty) store that afternoon to pick up something to eat. I was wearing my gloves and mask, there was nobody within my radius and I checked out at the self-service machines to avoid human interaction as I purchased my items. I then went immediately back toward my car to eat them, nobody else in proximity. I kept the windows up on my car and I took off my gloves to eat my sandwich. It was just one of those jerk chicken subs with salad, nothing untoward. Anyway, 20 mins later I start feeling like I need the toilet, so I head out of my vehicle and towards the public restroom. I sanitise my hands again before entry, realising I’m now feeling a slight bubbling in stomach. I enter the public stalls and look for a toilet, they’re locked with customers already inside but I hear one flush the chain as if they’re almost done. Phew. I sigh in relief and the sound of the hissing toilet bowl emptying drowns out my now stomachs first growl. The guy comes out and was quite obviously homeless, I see him adjust his zipper as he steps out the cubicle (with no mask) but I’m stood a considerable distance away from him - realistically three to four metres - and I’m still wearing my own face mask so I’m not concerned. He exits the restroom and I head inside, locking the door behind me swiftly, when I notice that he’s urinated onto the toilet seat. I quickly spun around 360 degrees and grabbed at the toilet roll dispenser, wrapping it around my fist several times so as to ensure there was no contact whatsoever, then wiped his sorry mess off the toilet seat and cleaned it up/dried it and disposed of said tissue. It didn’t leave a lot left on the cardboard insert at its centre but I left enough to wipe myself clean at least. My stomach grumbled louder still at this point, I knew I needed to go quickly, but I wasn’t prepared to sit my cheeks down on the toilet seat I had just performed a quick spring clean on. Fuck that. I decided I’d lift the seat instead and opt for the safer option; the porcelain may have been cold and hard but it was better than trying to take a shit while sitting in a homeless strangers still warn piss spillage. So I undid my belt and dropped my boxers, lifting the toilet seat up about to relieve my stomach of its contents when suddenly I spot that this selfish fucking tramp’s urine had trickled down around the rim of the toilet bowl also. This wasn’t even a small patch to the one side where he may not have shook it enough times to drain the snake properly, this was splashed right around the rim in a yellowing U shaped puddle. Who the fuck does that in a public space anyway? Wow. I was pissed off at this point. There wasn’t enough toilet paper left for me to use to both soak up this second yellow streak AND wipe my ass with, so I chose to use what was left to clean myself up after I’d finished. I still needed to poop bad, so what I ended up doing in the end was sort of squatting and hovering my ass mid-air above the toilet bowl and blowing chunks out of my back passage. Plonk, plonk-plonk. The relief was immense and I closed my eyes for a moment as my stomach quietened down. There was a bit of a backsplash and I could only hope it was water. Please god be water. Anyway, as I’m almost done my knees had started to give way a little from being in this crouching tiger position for so damn long and suddenly that’s when it happened, I felt my gaping asshole come into contact with the cold ceramic outer bowl of the toilet and just as I felt my anus pulling shut to pinch off the last of a turd it also sucked up a tiny, seemingly insignificant, slurp of this homeless guys urine from the toilet bowl rim that I had been hovering over. I used the last of the toilet roll to wipe myself up, before again leaving the stall, washing and again sanitising my hands, then heading back to work. Two days later I took a test and I tested positive for Coronavirus. It is NOT an airborne transmitted virus.
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- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) Last edited by sral; 02-03-2021 at 11:44 AM. |
02-03-2021, 09:46 AM | #2 |
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So just to confirm, every one of the 500,000+ Global cases have had homeless people piss in their ass?
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02-03-2021, 09:48 AM | #3 |
He / Him / His
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02-03-2021, 09:57 AM | #4 |
Spoiled brat
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Wait a second, you thought this disease was airborne? What even gave you that impression? If it’s airborne the being 6 feet away doesn’t do shit.
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02-03-2021, 09:58 AM | #5 |
Spoiled brat
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You wrote all of that to tell us something that we’ve known since day one?
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02-03-2021, 11:16 AM | #6 |
Steadily Lurking
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This verse was fire!
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02-03-2021, 11:38 AM | #7 |
consults Lloyd
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Cool story, bro
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02-03-2021, 11:46 AM | #8 |
PR's Finest
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why write this
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02-03-2021, 12:56 PM | #9 |
Henchman
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Shame on anyone who reads this
Not a fucking chance |
02-03-2021, 01:07 PM | #10 |
Spoiled brat
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Can’t believe this person has been on the internet this long.
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02-03-2021, 01:13 PM | #11 |
Detained
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I was just wondering out of all the people that got covid how many followed every protocol aand still got the shit.
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02-03-2021, 01:31 PM | #12 |
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There is a subtle difference between airborne transmission and transmission by fluid droplets that can (briefly) travel through the air.
I'm a little bored with COVID debates so I'll leave it at that without taking a position.
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02-03-2021, 05:16 PM | #13 |
DA GOD
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10/10 thread
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EVERYBODY I KNOW GOT WEED OR GOT POWDER BUT I AINT GOT EITHER. GOT ALOT OF DEMONS |
02-03-2021, 05:45 PM | #14 |
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Not an aysmptomatically transferred virus either
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02-03-2021, 06:34 PM | #15 |
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