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Old 12-09-2020, 02:30 AM   #1
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Default WEEK 4 MAG: BRETT LARVE TALKS RETIREMENT

INTRO:
Hey guys hope the holidays were great (at least for the US citizens, you foreigners are missing out on eating all this dry af bird) I gave you motherfuckers six-seven days to write 10-50 lines but a lot of you have disappointed me. I give and I give and you take! But My will to write lately has been very spotty so it’s nice to be able to sit back and watch this league happen. No shows and all.



And to all my holiday no-showers, how dare you have family affairs to get in the way of your weekly manpoem commitment



BUT FIRST, A TOUCHING TRIBUTE..





Lars I wrote a touching tribute to you man but it seems as if I blew my load too quickly and your retirement isn’t as imminent as it had been a few days ago. I commemorate your career though man you’ve literally champed everything topical twice and your name is pretty renowned. Going to be cool to see you battle again these next couple of weeks against some nice competition.

(IT SEEMS AS IF YOU JUST NEEDED A FIRE LIT UNDER YOU SO DARE I SAY, IT’S FAR FROM OVER, BRETT LARVE.)



WE SAY GOODBYE…
To @Sinacog, your hobbit hymns will be deeply missed. I’m inconsolable. After a lot of push back from other writers saying you are dragging down the quality of the league I have to bid you ado. I tried to shelter you though the world hated you. You were Rocky Dennis and I was Cher, but alas, a good thing can only last so long before you have to drag it behind the woodshed and put a bullet between its eyes. Everyone is calling for the old AJ The Menace to come back but I believe he’s been dead for years. Cocooned in the dried bukkake of many demons, cursed to never speak again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWbz_mIAShM



NO SHOW SHINE
Shout out to the Universe as 2 of 3 of his wins have been via no show but as he said in topicals your opponent is an afterthought, you’re battling your picture topic. And he’s let his topics have absolute hell lately.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Universe View Post
Submerged

"We are all bodies of water, guarding the mystery of our depths... but some of us have more to guard than others." - Deborah Smith

......

Arthur

My home is a fishbowl, sitting alone near a window made parts of me softer
My reflection and the ocean merged to create a body of water
Every single bone keeps aching; My keepsake is a black box on my dresser
Reminding me I lost my son to a Black Man... but that's all I remember
Had years of substance abuse, now I keep Trident gum in my room
Each one's a memento informing me I can possess whatever I choose...
I want to open the floodgates, but I don't think my words are that fluid
They say water has no shape yet I always circle back to it
I don't view past articles in newsprint... all the dumb shit they wrote
I was told it's either sink or swim for me, but what if it's both?
My left hand was severed, but not showing all limbs left me stumped
Almost as much as my wife leaving with "uncloseable rifts" between us
They said I drank like a fish to cope, if so I would never be sober
If you get my drift... I keep my friends close and memories closer
A hand heats up my cold shoulder - Mareena, I knew her face in a second
But I'm missing some basic element to make the connection... (hmm)
She said, "I'm granting your death wish..." Some people are coerced to the brink
Determined to be together, but only linking below the surface of things
It hurts to keep it locked up inside, eager for water I cry
The black box at my side hides the truth I don't want her to find (yet)
I'm a product of my environment... an unheard of agreement
Cuz for me, food for thought pools atop the surface, uneaten...


Mareena

You're going off the deep end, a wave of emotion which you're entitled to
But origins don't define truth any more than diving boards define a pool
My mom was your primary caregiver, she said you were part of an elite group
And that black box under her supervision nobody would ever see through
Then mom passed away in her sleep; Soon I became your doctor and aide
I don't believe you lost your mind, Arthur... I think you locked it away
You have water on the brain, lungs riddled with cystic fibrosis
Your body's giving you an eviction notice; I delivered the diagnosis
Huntington's disease - It represents degeneration of nerve cells in the brain
Like a runaway train... even steps from heaven one's hell can remain
It’s insane to grant your death wish; I dropped to my knees and just wept
But it's not feasible to deny you something I can't seem to accept
I smuggled you to the beach, your cool facade unleashed tsunamis beneath
If I seeped an extra litre to your bloodstream you would probably leak
Reached the sea, the water broke like a pregnancy no pills could erase
Echolocation, you submerged and raised up a pillar of strength
You smiled, unlocked the black box and reached your right hand toward me
Then said, "I'm sorry for the untimely warning, but this is my life story"
I opened the box to comics and newspapers from around the world
My jaw agape, headlines proclaim, 'Aquaman Saves Drowning Girl!'
'Black Manta Kills Aquababy' – It’s not the right way to get news
Yet there's you, Trident of Neptune with a modified plated wetsuit
A note read, 'To Mareena, my daughter... you think that name was a fluke?'
'Baby even your mother knew what was in this black case was for you...'
Then you took off like a typhoon, it was like seeing an undertow lift
But what went over my head was now just water under the bridge
Thought I had a selfish father, turns out, he was just one of the fish
Coming to grips, I looked at the water and whispered...

"Son of a bitch..."


Shout to Candy who’s been consistent all season and picks up his first win via no show.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Candy View Post
The Scribble That Flat-Lined

At first.. I thought it was normal, this fall into a coma
Sentenced to understand my period, the life of a loner
Odd it seemed, smearing to what is generally crystal clear
A plot for the one pea brain that's never been there
But I kept on point in linear narratives hyper real
Manic with the cypher still, a type cast of biting healed
Sold a virgin by the missing period bleeding sane
In sanity by vain too vein to straighten name
Blood transfusions through my finger tips by the print taste
In leisure with missing pigments of shade when I ink out the pain
They call it art - water boarding my pen filled with petrol
Pitter patters dribble on scribbles I leave at the fist full
The deeper I got the more fluid based I related to scent
As the line contorts into a soundwave debating all men
Sat at this projective mess and told that read is red
Dead like its holstered thought ahead now lead too far bred
What does this all mean.. if I was to go by ear I would have
In a soft relation about one girl missing her dad
It turns out the power of pressure is killing my head
I'll guess i'll take the no out of period in pen
look to the stars and hope for the best.. as each breath dies
In my tangerine eyes the pencil leaves
Soon followed by
..my nose in the sky


Shouts to Scar who was no showed by big baby (which we all should have seen coming tbh)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Scar View Post
"Prisoner of the moment"

His sneakers were faded as were the jeans he wore
He sees his flaws. As distinct as the sea and shore
The leaves hung from the trees as the season marched.
A new canvas in the sky, he sat idly by as Mrs Sheehy talked.

The lunch bell rang and hunger pangs perforated the hall
He spotted Stacy, in her long denim dress, evading his call.
“You should come by tonight, Stace” he gave it his all
“We got cakes, kool-aid, fucking face paints and more!”

He sat right behind her, often adoring her hair
That auburn plume, hanging loosely off the small of the chair
The problem was clear: a lack of interest was all she could spare
If only they have a moment alone, she’d know he was here

It was a classic move. A clink of glasses imbued
With all the right intent. Time was tinkered and passion pursued
The hour hand made a pass, they were trapped in a room
Where conversation was most elusive, peeking through rations of food

He asked if she knew (insert arbitrary name); she did not
Engaged in his thoughts, while she maintained a distraught look
An odd foot to display. Shook, he’s shaking it off
Soots and sages paraded the bush of basil’s and moss

There’s frost in the husks outside just below the deck
It folds and flex to the which way the wind blows
An inclined passage prim by the cold. “Forget-
me not”. Trees rot at the base and boulders fret
Intertwining yarns of life and decay, so estranged


Vacant walkway aloft the icy rink of winter’s womb
A stick in the tomb. Remiss of theatrical view
A master of two steps with two left straps of the boot
Two peas of differing pods, though persistent and strong, grasping of youth
Fist fights in the yard. 4 squares, dancing off until noon

Lunch time was over. Stacy thin shoulders shuddered to the cold
She was lovely, alone. perhaps it’s best to just let it go

She was lovely, alone. perhaps it’s best to just let it go


RERVUES:

CONTENDERS MATCH: MMLP 2-0 vs CONCRETE 2-0

With all due respect to Concrete I don’t think many of us saw this one ending up with him winning. MMLP took a couple step backs from the more metaphoric pieces he’s been writing this week while trying to bring back his iconic Pop Culture twists. This time subtly referring to wrestler Bray Wyatt (I don’t watch wrestling I can’t confirm) which might have been decent if he had layered it better. He hid it under a sort of shallow topic of boy meets girl, boy ends up being terrible you know, the topic every Saved by The Bell special is about. Concrete’s wording started off childish and lighthearted but his piece reall helped itself by whisking the reader away to a magical world with a lot of descriptive language and what not. His journey was better his story was better and he picked up the W.
CONCRETE WINS

SINACOG 0-1 VS EVICTION 0-2

I’ve invented a drinking game to play companion to a Sinacog verses, take a shot every time the words “semon” or “demon” or “ancient” are mentioned, now take a shot for every repeated line. What did you say? You just had to check into the hospital due to alcohol poisoning? Well suck it up!! I don’t think there was any doubt how this one was going to shake out, though initially Eviction signed out for Thanksgiving he was more than happy to come back and smack Sin up. He dropped a retrospective verse with a lot of references to police brutality of recent years. Sinacog connected to his picture topic less than he ever has and instead enchanted us with his retelling of the Satanic Bible for Dummies. Eviction won pretty handily.
EVICTION WINS, FLAWLESS VICTORY

PHARAOHS ARMY 1-1 vs MASTER ROCK 1-1

Honestly the voters thought this was close and so did I. Pharaohs army walked away with the sun here though in a pretty close clash. Different takes here and I honestly thought they were both pretty good but PA was on point he told a very linear story that also had layers to it. Rock has showed some poetic prowess but struggles to keep it consistent, usually mid-verse. Still a good match but Pharaoh won it.
PHARAOH WINS

MR J 1-1 vs OBJECTIVE 1-1

Pretty decent matchup here. Overall both artists had metaphorical topics and not one actually pursued the space scene at face value which is cool unless you’re Universe lol. Mr J did a great job with space references and told a pretty relaxed story, Objective had some cool poetic pieces but his story didn’t have the same impact as J’s did in which he created with less lines as well. J won this week
MR J WINS


NOTE ABOUT STRANGE/DIFFERENT TOPICS
Hey guys we’re only four weeks into this season and I had many writers comment on the redundancy of their topics or just how bad they were in general. I get it, I mean we’ve been doing these topical tourneys and leagues with picture topics for a long while and as a league runner most people’s instinct is to just google “thought provoking pictures” and go with whatever sticks out to them. I’m trying to break the mold and go with more current artwork, and also am trying to keep a theme of one artist a week. Last week we used some pictures created by Elia Colombo (@gebelia on Instagram) and this week we’re using artwork by Japanese artist @avorgado6 on Twitter. I don’t think a writing league should be a lather, rinse, repeat type process. We should try and break the mold constantly.

PERVURS:

CHAMP MATCH: UNIVERSE 3-0 vs MMLP 2-1

Well with a stroke of luck the champ match of this week became the the one we were all expecting to see, contender match winner Concrete signed out giving MMLP an all expenses paid trip to the week 4 champ bout. Universe has been steamrolling through the first few weeks of this season with nobody or anything giving him the least bit of resistance. He’s been no showed twice but not let that take away from the high level verses he’s posting consistently week in and out. MMLP was impressive the first two weeks but really dropped the ball last week against Concrete and didn’t give us as quality of a verse. My money is on Universe winning this but MMLP is the most formidable foe he’s faced all year.
WINNER: UNIVERSE 65/35

CONTENDERS MATCH: MR J 2-1 vs PHARAOHS ARMY 2-1

Very cool matchup here. Though one of PA’s wins were picked up via beating the league punching bag, Sinacog he had an impressive victory last week writing one of the better verses I’ve seen from him. Mr J has been consistent throughout, taking down Objective last week. It depends how much the topic resonates with PA for what quality we’ll see him come with. But Mr J will bring consistency and will take on any and all topics, he also has AOWL experience and a champ belt to prove it. I’ve got him edging here, it’ll be super compelling to watch for sure.
WINNER: MR J 55/45

GRUDGE MATCH: DIABLO 0-0 vs OBJECTIVE 1-2

This one promises to be fun from the jump. A lot of words were exchanged between the two in the chat last week, Objective and YDK seemingly drug Lars out of retirement by taunts that they could defeat him, well Objective is the first man with that chance here. We all know Diablo aka Lars story: he’s a topical great there’s no denying that. I’d usually chalk this matchup up as a walk in the park for Lars. Easy work. But Objective has insisted he thinks he knows the way to beat Lars now. Is it all talk? Or is it truth? We will find out but Lars is still a heavy favorite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diablo View Post
WELCOME TO HELL, FAGGOT
DIABLO WINS 70/30

CANDY 1-2 vs EVICTION 1-2

These guys have struggled early on both picking up wins recently. Neither are necessarily bad writers though. I think this makes for a good matchup because of that, kind of a sleeper battle. I expect both of these guys to excel this week but alas only one can reach .500 and I think that Eviction will be the man to do it I’ve just seen a stronger sense of storyline and direction from him as opposed to Candy but the tables can be turned very easily.
WINNER EVICTION 52/48

JEOSIDST 0-0 vs MASTER ROCK 1-2

I know very little about Jesodist except he’s been around since the beginning of time, Pharaohs Army regards him as a mentor and he’s been on a spam posting tear lately that makes Sinacog look tame. He’s a bit of a wildcard but PA requested I put him in the league and have him a stand-in ready so here we are. (PS I’m the stand-in) Master Rock has had good ideas and verses but he’s lost focus midway through some of his verses hurting his overall product. I think that he will have enough to grab this win though if he comes at his usual level or higher.
MASTER ROCK WINS 60/40

OUTRO:
Thank you guys for another decent week hopefully these mags bring you a little joy between your various battles of writing your asses off. Anyways guys, here’s to a great week with little to no NS. That would be excellent. Until next time, Adverse signing out. Keep on keeping on
.
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Old 12-09-2020, 04:08 AM   #2
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lol! well done, @Adverse. you should accept contributors. the review section could use a little more meat. especially the no-show shine. But as the sole runner of the league as the orginal guy ran like he usually does, a job well done, sir.
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Old 12-09-2020, 04:20 AM   #3
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@Adverse
and can we get the sign in/out thread up so i can do my thing?
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Old 12-09-2020, 05:47 AM   #4
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Great morning read... Memes were hilarious.

Your efforts are much appreciated, bud.
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Old 12-09-2020, 08:23 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scar View Post
@Adverse
and can we get the sign in/out thread up so i can do my thing?
Ahh! Knew I forgot something. It’s up now.

I do accept contributions but no one has offered to help since Lars did a couple weeks ago so I’ve just been doing my best with them haha
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Old 12-09-2020, 10:39 AM   #6
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Hey all

Checking in. Dope mag as usual Adverse

Still really crazy to see everyone pretending Universe isn't complete TRASH tho
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Old 12-09-2020, 11:22 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adverse View Post
Ahh! Knew I forgot something. It’s up now.

I do accept contributions but no one has offered to help since Lars did a couple weeks ago so I’ve just been doing my best with them haha
ur running a show by yourself so its totally understandable bro. may i suggest a co-mod or co show-runner? @Johnny 6 feet would be my candidate, respectfully.
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Old 12-09-2020, 12:01 PM   #8
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ur running a show by yourself so its totally understandable bro. may i suggest a co-mod or co show-runner? @Johnny 6 feet would be my candidate, respectfully.
I appreciate the recommendation dude. But I am currently up to my eyeballs dealing with the double barrels of jury duty and playing santa claus on the weekends under a contract with greatgrottosuk.

Haven't had a day off in the last 10. Part of the reason I signed out of the league.

I'll come back when I get time. if I get time.
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Johnny Webbed Feet's topicals are all the same. Doesn't anyone notice this?! I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CRAZY PILLS
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Learn to write, Johnny 6 Feet..
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Old 12-09-2020, 12:38 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny 6 feet View Post
I appreciate the recommendation dude. But I am currently up to my eyeballs dealing with the double barrels of jury duty and playing santa claus on the weekends under a contract with greatgrottosuk.

Haven't had a day off in the last 10. Part of the reason I signed out of the league.

I'll come back when I get time. if I get time.
i can't acccept those reasosn, johnny, i had covid and a stroke back to back and i still have the strength to troll @Sinacog because he super trash. not the good kind of trash where there are still salvagable items but the bad kind where its just molding food, tampons and used rubers.
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Old 12-09-2020, 12:44 PM   #10
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Lololololol this was dope. I damn near forgot mags were even a thing. Appreciate all the effort bro good shit
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Old 12-09-2020, 04:42 PM   #11
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lmao looks like Objectives plan is just to play possum and not check in all week

tsk tsk
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Old 12-09-2020, 05:33 PM   #12
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i can't acccept those reasosn, johnny, i had covid and a stroke back to back and i still have the strength to troll @Sinacog because he super trash. not the good kind of trash where there are still salvagable items but the bad kind where its just molding food, tampons and used rubers.
Johnny is playing Santa man give my guy a break for the season lol
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Old 12-09-2020, 07:59 PM   #13
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tsk tsk
Oh shush!
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Old 12-10-2020, 12:18 PM   #14
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lmao he’s obv no showing, it’s been four days since he’s been on

@YDK wanna get the topic changed to something new and we’ll write on short notice to something?
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Old 12-10-2020, 02:31 PM   #15
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lmao he’s obv no showing, it’s been four days since he’s been on

@YDK wanna get the topic changed to something new and we’ll write on short notice to something?
Sure that works for me, can we have it due Saturday since we dont have the topic yet lol
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Old 12-10-2020, 02:46 PM   #16
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yep @Adverse
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Old 12-10-2020, 08:05 PM   #17
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I declare a new deadline for everyone, Saturday!
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Old 12-10-2020, 08:06 PM   #18
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Great mag by the way...love your memes!!!
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Old 12-10-2020, 10:12 PM   #19
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Quote:
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yep @Adverse
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Old 12-12-2020, 09:15 AM   #20
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lmao Objective dodged a bullet this week to the Suicide pic

I was cooking

Some contemplate suicide’s selfish conclusion
but not on the scale you and I intended to do it.
The setting you choose is crucial,
with many options to settle on,
but for want of a better one, I opt for a restaurant.
I want to seat everyone that’s wronged me in the past
so they come to see exactly why my blood is on their hands.
To put it into action while minimising my labour costs
the white of the table cloth will help highlighting the fatal shot.
Hiring a paid-deposit suit for the event that I’m staging has
the inexpense of me paying cash on something I’ll never be taking back.
The hem of its plain cravat pinches tight when talking aloud
but means it won’t fall to the ground once blood pours from my mouth.
I thought that the dour monochromatic colour scheme
had the look of seeming formal while it masked what’s underneath.
The handgun is discreet enough to conceal in my pocket
but the magnum has it beat close-range if we were to cock it.
The easier option to me is a shotgun, just to make deadly sure,
as five percent who survive a headshot miss the brain’s central core.
I’ve an eight weapon shortlist as I narrow the field
with eyes wide as each barrel I wield and hands just as steeled.
The disadvantage of peeling a cap under my chin
would have been if I suddenly slipped and the bullet had missed.
To put the gun into my mouth would negate the problem
of taking caution and seemed by far the “safer” option.
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