Bells of War...

Exis · 03-19-2020, 09:43 PM

Ayo...

Beat penciled rugers, Get rid of beef? The East/West will sooner
LSD assistin' bodies & on sidewalks we've stenciled tumors
Word of mouth with your Mother's bloody legs, We spread pre menstraul rumors
& I'll leave you tastin' my funny bone just to give you a sense of humour
The ass of crack whores is closin', Don't back me?
Well the storm will close in
Lately bar of the years been on my back for abhorrent quotin'
Strapped with abnormal loathin', You've mastered the form of posin'
I'll leave your head wrapped in cloth like Iraqi formal clothin'
Equippin' Christians, Exis marks the bridge of distance
It's like I was bringin' heat to Detroit how I'm leavin' blistered Pistons
The herb community is an immediate irritation, An instant hindrance
I'll give you a toupee of subtracted gymnasts just to split the difference
Which crew is next to slip?
These sexists trip, So get a grip
I'm not talkin' about prayers durin' constipation when I say God's blessed my shit
I'm sick, Illness like common colds can be found in this veterans spits
You can't cure this, I'll be tossin' you heaps that are carried by currents - Now do you catch my drift?...

Not sure if I've posted this before, If so my bad just came across it after readin' thru verses I wrote ages back.

Universe · 03-20-2020, 01:48 PM

I liked this. Some good lines actually. But don't post old stuff man, I want to see your progression... resting on your laurels will get you nowhere.

You could've done something creative with this like battling your older self or something. The old you versus the new you. Show your improvement. I just hate to see "wasted posts" like this because it waters down any future pieces you write. You're not getting any views because people know what to expect from you, for the most part. They don't even bother.

Surprise us. Do something different EVERY TIME. Don't be afraid to fail. People will follow.

Exis · 03-22-2020, 01:23 AM

I'll post whatever the fuck I want , Thanks.

Candy · 03-22-2020, 02:01 AM

cool word flips i think that was the strongest part for me all your word play pretty sexy.. vocab aite to def some interesting things to think of.. one love..

03-19-2020, 09:43 PM	#1
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	Bells of War... Ayo... Beat penciled rugers, Get rid of beef? The East/West will sooner LSD assistin' bodies & on sidewalks we've stenciled tumors Word of mouth with your Mother's bloody legs, We spread pre menstraul rumors & I'll leave you tastin' my funny bone just to give you a sense of humour The ass of crack whores is closin', Don't back me? Well the storm will close in Lately bar of the years been on my back for abhorrent quotin' Strapped with abnormal loathin', You've mastered the form of posin' I'll leave your head wrapped in cloth like Iraqi formal clothin' Equippin' Christians, Exis marks the bridge of distance It's like I was bringin' heat to Detroit how I'm leavin' blistered Pistons The herb community is an immediate irritation, An instant hindrance I'll give you a toupee of subtracted gymnasts just to split the difference Which crew is next to slip? These sexists trip, So get a grip I'm not talkin' about prayers durin' constipation when I say God's blessed my shit I'm sick, Illness like common colds can be found in this veterans spits You can't cure this, I'll be tossin' you heaps that are carried by currents - Now do you catch my drift?... Not sure if I've posted this before, If so my bad just came across it after readin' thru verses I wrote ages back.

03-20-2020, 01:48 PM	#2
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 999 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178702	I liked this. Some good lines actually. But don't post old stuff man, I want to see your progression... resting on your laurels will get you nowhere. You could've done something creative with this like battling your older self or something. The old you versus the new you. Show your improvement. I just hate to see "wasted posts" like this because it waters down any future pieces you write. You're not getting any views because people know what to expect from you, for the most part. They don't even bother. Surprise us. Do something different EVERY TIME. Don't be afraid to fail. People will follow. __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future..

03-22-2020, 02:01 AM	#4
Candy Sell Her Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 985 Battle Record: 1-3 Rep Power: 5082452	cool word flips i think that was the strongest part for me all your word play pretty sexy.. vocab aite to def some interesting things to think of.. one love.. __________________ curious más curioso y más curioso

03-22-2020, 01:23 AM	#3
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	I'll post whatever the fuck I want , Thanks.