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09-24-2018, 12:39 AM
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#1 |
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 83
Battle Record: 0-1
Rep Power: 0   |
Solemn Sun
I am the embodiment of Christ; I conqueror the following of light
Solemnly I cry; for the Doctrine of the light Martyr of the light; constantly with light Prophet of the light; conquering the light I watering the blight; for the solace of my shrine For the following of light; is the doctrine of my light I am a gifted seer; swifting fears For I won't stop breathing with the holy ghost; till' the wind is clear I am a star; brighter than the sun of centurion For I am the water; that shines bright on the solemn shimmered sun You can dream without seeing reality I am the whispering holy ghost; feeding a fallacy I am the sun in the night; whispering a funnel of light For I am a serpent; that is devouring a dragon of plight I am the early morning sun; shinning sincere And I will always be the God; always revered Last edited by Dragon; 09-24-2018 at 02:11 AM. |
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09-24-2018, 08:25 AM
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#2 | |
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HALL OF FAME
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: portal 7 to the 9th exponent
Posts: 16,171
Battle Record: 3-5
Rep Power: 0 |
This was not good. And I wanted to like it. It was not good in structure or in some of your word choice. I think it is also unintentionally blasphemous. Or you could be an alias trying to make a mockery of my style?
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09-24-2018, 02:18 PM
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#3 |
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Badgerdick
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,604
Battle Record: 11-2
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 22685548   |
lmao pretty sure this is just that Rap-Royalty guy
he tends to be on his religious shit from time to time this one isn’t him at his best too many rhymes ending in the same word, repeated obv meant to be all poetic sounding but just comes off a little hackneyed and maybe lazy word choice isn’t interesting enough to keep the readers interests either and it’s convuluted with poor structure and line breaks that ruin the rhythmic flow not the worst thing I’ve ever read but just tryna be real he’s better than this piece makes him out to be it reads like a keystyle |
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09-29-2018, 10:55 AM
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#5 |
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Banned
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 453
Accomplishments -eating white dick
Rep Power: 0 |
You can not be a god ***
White man is devil....nigga is god. Good verse |
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09-29-2018, 11:59 PM
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#6 |
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Banned
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,962
Battle Record: 6 - 14
Rep Power: 0 |
This verse sucks. Light.
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