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Old 02-17-2021, 02:35 PM   #1
dull boy
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Default WEEK 2 MAG

Introduction

Week 2 is in the books and despite a lot of turnover in battlers the participation remains high. This mag is a little more sparse from the previous two due to my not having the time to send out my weekly interviews, and because my Roomba learned how to turn off the power strip to my computer, erasing my first draft of this mag. I focused on last week's battles and hopefully we can get back on track next week in regard to the interviews and BOTW audios.

BATTLE OF THE WEEK

Fracture Vs Seth

Best Exchanges

1

Seth
You’re so fucking dated, not sick but the old school really ain’t well
How the fuck u gona diss my delivery with a concept that was dropped off in 2012
Ya marriage was shit, ya poor daughter. The problems with her folks is known
Mann u should be on HGTV.. the only thing your banging leads to is broken homes

Frac
U and ya wife look like the natural disasters, tag titles around the waist tied
HGTV? I couldnt flip nearly as many houses as u two jumpin in the ocean at the same time
All those swaying comments before each verse, hes insecure that he'll bomb
Said my concepts are 3 decades old... Yea, it took you 30 years to respond

2

Frac
Ur forcing this, its tormenting to even course through this
Fuck claps... I could sleep through a drive by after reading ur boring flips
Shit induces snoring fits,.. Kill myself? Faggot please
If im getting roof access its just to give ur dogs anti freeze

Seth
You look like u come from bad stock,Midwest trailer trash that’s better off dead
You could sleep through anything, u never flinched when pops hit mom or ur uncle slipped in bed
U’d poison a pet? Wtf? U a weirdoooo & that’s why I assume suicide is the only fit
Last time I got roof access, I slid the tip across the top of ur BM mouth before making her choke on it

Frac
Bro u aint making it up any stairs without feeling an ache in ur heart
Only way you getting roof access is if its a short story like the length of ur bars
Midwest stereotypes stretched into paragraphs is a real problem
You hop in bed with my baby momma and she'll be in the air tonight like phil collins

Seth
Every bar that isn’t weird is about fat ppl jumping. Ur arsenal ain’t all that
It’s no wonder ur obsessed with a big bounce when everything u drop falls flat
But you’re gearing up now, I was hopeful we could really go
Got excited by the creativity in that last bar then remembered I used it against blue 3 yrs ago

Frac
"Sparta kick ya chest, send u off the edge - Better prepare for flight
Lure ya on the roof, my Collins to end lives & i'ma leave you In The Air Tonight"-Seth

Really? This is the punch you want us to come respect?
Please explain how 'my Collins to end lives' makes any fucking sense?
Took a classic & ruined it. Whos wack? This loser is
You butchered a 1981 hit worse than john hinkley jr did

Seth
It’s called a wordplay, there’s more than generics when it’s time to get hurt
You’re flawless! You’ve never butchered a hit cus you’d have to think of one first
& u’re a pussy, put the nerd in a headlock if he attempts to do harm
Call him John Hinkley Jr.. if he ever tries at a hit he’ll just end up under arms

This was the defining exchange, for me. A couple of judges mentioned not catching Frac's original roof access bar, so it fell flat. Up until this point, aside from the previously mentioned exchange, the battle was very up and down with low lows and a surprisingly few highs. Seth's rebuttal was somewhat awkwardly worded, and it highlights the divide between the judges on the battle. As some saw it as a huge issue, while other's overlooked it and took the content as the meat of the bar. Depending on which side you fell it seemed to decide the battle. Frac's response to Seth's excellent roof rebuttal was equally, if not more impressive, however. The fat jokes were focused in a way that incorporated them into the rebuttal aspect and the length of Seth's bars. Seth immediately called attention to the overkill of Frac's fat jokes, but I didn't love the falls flat concept, and while the next line was effective in undercutting Frac's Phil Collins bar, it was unfortunately little more than a, 'I used that' call out. Frac's move of finding the bar Seth referenced was a brilliant move. Then he went to work on pointing out the flaws in it, thus taking some of the wind out of Seth's previous bar. THAT is the kind of exchange that exemplifies how effective this format can be. The Hinckley line was also pretty fucking clever and worked well as a simple 'hit' play within the rebuttal style. Seth did what he's done in just about every bar he's written in this league and went directly at Frac's line, but in this instance I felt his response came up a little short.

Consensus

Judge quote
It came down to the very last exchange to me and Seth won out with the hinkley jr exchange. really could have gone either way to me.

The judges were quite divided on how they saw this battle. Seth's unorthodox wording or lack of complexity in his rhyme schemes was a factor for some. Other's overlooked this aspect and focused more on the content and wit. That one difference in perspective seemed to shape how the battle was viewed. This was an up and down battle, with the latter half making up for a mostly spotty start and middle. Most criticism directed toward Fracture was in reference to the over abundance of fat jokes. Some wondering if maybe he went to the well one too many times. Personally, I had to read this battle three times before I was able to make a decision.

Verdict

Much like last week; 2 judges felt Fracture took the battle handily, while 2 felt Seth barely edged it, with the last bar being the deciding factor. 1 felt Fracture barely won.

3-2 Frac wins

Des Vs Zuch

Best Exchanges

1

Zuch
Your wife calls me on the reg cuz I’m her go-to mount
Both hands, got her choking up on the wood like it’s an 0-2 count
That’s cuz I spit game Des, never gave a fuck and it works
Her snatch is like a super soaker, i give her two pumps and it squirts

Des
baseball bars never hit@zuch. but u do got a nose for the sport
ur my wife’s go-to mount because she literally thinks ur a horse
back behind the bar where you belong. u ain’t a star, buck. nah bro...
if u ever hit my wife with two pumps, it was making her caramel macchiato

Consensus

Clearly Zuch wasn't dialed in this week for his battle and ended up forfeiting the win before votes were even cast. Life gets in the way of what's most important sometimes; text battles. Still, I thought Zuch opened the contest like Focker's portfolio; strong to quite strong. Des' response was, for me, the best line of the battle, by tying in a personal in a clever rebuttal on consecutive lines.

Judge's quotes

The half calves line was fucking ridiculous

He’s better than that referring to Zuch

This was really disappointing.

Zuch kind of gave up right away. Des had the best flip for me with half calves.

Verdict

All 5 judges felt Des took it comfortably.

5-0 Des wins

User Vs Adverse

Best Exchanges

1

User
Come at me bruh, still yapping like you’ll clap me up?
My swings will leave more divots in your back than your acne does
You grotesque lackey fuck, you’ll get beat for fun
And dropped in ‘no time’, like the excuse we use to ignore every league you run

Adverse
You talkin about my appearance is rich, LOL you embarassin hog
Believe he’ll leave divots...At 300lbs you prolly leave em everywhere that you walk
Think you’re an asset to this culture, Bro you’re not fundamental
How you going to talk shit about me runnin a league...when you can’t run in general

User
I can’t run? That’s funny, but my shoes seem designed for travel
And I know they work, cuz I run circles around you every time we battle
You’ve lost twice to me, I don’t have the time to fight this geek
I’m counting seconds, meanwhile you’ve had them at dinner every night this week

Judge quote
Starting from the first rebuttal, each consistently and quickly went after each other and, in most cases, directly against the preceding line(s).

I think that, compared with other battles I’ve read in the last two weeks, this may have been the best example of two guys specifically rebutting prior lines.

This was such an entertaining exchange. User's opener was effective enough and hit Adverse where it hurts. Ad's rebuttal about User leaving divots was jokes and the flip on running a league and tying it in with the same concept as the previous bar really worked to underscore his counter in a clever and smooth way. I didn't love User's first bar in his next set, but the second one made up for it. Refuting Ad's fat jokes with ones of his own while also incorporating a clever flip and wordplay was top notch shit.

2

User
Is Seth even a diss? We’d both give you the work for hours
And judging by your responses, your feeding habits are worse than ours
As long as we’re comparing, the judges can plainly tell
That you’re the ugliest Thing on two legs since Jamie Bell

Adverse
You stay packin forks, dunno what you’re acting Fantastic For
Call me the thing when ur health diagnosis Ben Grimm since ur ass was born
And you saying you’d give me the business proves u still ain’t sober
Only people you giving work is the poor McDonald’s employees fillin ya dinner order

User
Jesus, this is mine. You keep missing signs
You’re supposed to flip my lines, not the same jokes 4 different times
I’m a veteran dude, for you that’s never been true
Congrats, you’ve spent two days attacking angles 200 people have done better than you

Judge quote
Adverse couldn't hang because his bars were playing off of User's, but always came back to 'you're fat'.

I thought User’s last two couplets (same joke 4 times and 200 guys better than you) were the best lines of the battle, because Adverse’s entire collective verse was essentially a fat joke

Didn't love the first quoted lines from User here, and after he outshined Ad in the previous couple of exchanges it was an opportunity for Ad to really pull ahead, and he did. I know I've seen Fantastic Four/Ben Grimm plays before, but the way it hit in this format seemed to nullify that. It came off as extremely smooth and on the spot, because it was directly references User's bar in content AND in it's attack. Unfortunately, Ad gave User an opening with a subpar followup to close out his couplet and User took full advantage by a bar that summed up the weakness in Ad's attacks up to this point in the battle. It wasn't complex or overly clever, but it was a dig that struck a chord because of everything prior.

Consensus

It was entertaining to read, and VERY close.

From a wit perspective, I thought they were essentially even.. each was consistently good, if not awe inspiring.. and I didn’t see many low points at all.

I think this was the best I’ve seen from Adverse, overall. His wording was much better and more concise than I’ve seen from his earlier stuff.. and maybe he has a knack for rebuttal style rhyming.

This was a lot closer than I think many would have thought going into the battle. Essentially, it came down to User just getting the better of Adverse on a few exchanges. Adverse was impressive here, but perhaps leaned too heavily on the fat jokes, while also giving User opportunities to take advantage of a couple of low points.

Verdict

All 5 judges thought Adverse put up a good fight, but in the end had User winning.

5-0 User wins

Sharp Vs Mac

Best Exchanges

1

Mac
"Nice concepts, you could be dope" - class of kids said to their teacher
"but mr sharp.. your biggest musical feat is modding gameboys speakers"
Not saying u don't teach well, u put up hell of a show
@ ur Abstract art class they dread to cut their ears off.. yea thats van gogh

Sharp
Originally Posted by Mac View Post
great work dull - light work with these posers
thanks for the circle too, we ALMOST missed the loser

Okay Mr ESL. You know that word ain't "pooser" though?
If we're talking crap teachers you gotta get a refund form your English tutor bro
I'm great with students. You're just rapey
For me, Van Gogh with kids is education. For you it's "she told me she was 18"

Consensus

This battle was underwhelming and both participants seemed to show a lack of interest in giving us much to read. It was stated, and I agree, that Mac had a better showing last week against Des.

Verdict

All 5 judges had Sharp winning comfortably.

5-0 Sharp wins

Dave Vs Coop

Consensus

This was another battle that was surprisingly close.

I thought they were fairly even... Coop’s “no shot” line was a solid opener playing off his own fault... and Dave’s “did to yourself” reply was a good jab back... That said, I did think that each had a couple lines that were fairly subpar (Dave’s opener, Coop’s anal mastered, etc...) and there wasn’t anything mind-blowing from either. And Coop, for some reason, didn’t rebut anything in his second verse.... then Dave dropped the best sequence in the battle with the “name’s Coop” and follow up.

So, in what was effectively a tie, it came down to who was better rebutting.. by a hair.... and I think Dave was, barely.


This quote essentially summed up mostly everyone else's opinion on the battle. It was a back and forth affair where either could have seemingly taken advantage of low points from the other, and instances where each shined. Dave came out on top in most judge's eyes due to a bit better consistency and perhaps because Coop's closer was such a miss.

Verdict

1 judge felt Coop slightly edged it with the other 4 believing Dave took it barely.

4-1 Dave wins

Blue Vs Flow

Best Exchanges

Blue
nah, i booked coach and now my shotty finna blow
don't worry bout dirt tracks, i'll cover yours up once i drag your body to a grove
& ur wife doesn't think your possessive, don't stress it dude
you've got ur Claws in her cuz bein drunks the only way she'll have sex with you

Flow
Blue a bitch, fuck you going to do when I take the blade an peel skin
Cus the mood I'm in I'll be 'double draggin' like you and sin
Fuck the win, I don't care about this battle this loser can have it
N the only clause id be concerned about is reusing your old lines ... faggot



Blue
that was discord, not NCs. be factual punk
still never been used in a battle. let me know when you drop an actual punch
a dragon/draggin wordplay?! it's crazy how bad that you write
that tag teams fictitious, unlike the one me & my homie had with ur wife

Consensus

once Flow brought up the recycling punch angle, things got interesting. I thought Blue handled it perfectly though. Combing back with the “let me know when you drop an actual punch” was probably the best way he could flip it... then his “curls on the side” rebuttal to the weird Jewish punch from Flow sealed it. Easily the wittiest punch of the battle and a perfect way to tie in the missed punch from Flow.

Rebuttals weren't the strongest part of this battle to me. The bars themselves like Jon Rahm and NBL is your baby were great, but are more highlights from a reg battle. Pretty much all of the flips were predictable or uninteresting aside from curls on the side.

From a rebuttal aspect this battle was a let down. I was actually underwhelmed with Flow in this battle, as I was excited for him to join the league after seeing some of his previous material. As quoted by another judge above, the curls on the side punch was line of the battle, but I thought the way Blue handled the recycling allegation neutralized Flow's best attack, and then followed it up with a nice double team rebuttal. That exchange was the key to the battle, for me.

Verdict

4 judges felt Blue took it comfortably, while 1 thought it was close, but ultimately Blue edged it.

5-0 Blue wins

New Battlers this Week

Hush

I've been trying to get Hush to join the league from week one. Expecting him to thrive in this style of rebuttals.

Swerve

I didn't have time to send out interviews this week, unfortunately, so Swerve didn't get to answer that. I don't know much about him, and what I do know was lost in the Roomba incident. Good luck to you!

Bleak

Idk.

WEEK 3 MATCH UPS AND PREDICTIONS
(by UserName)


Blue V Des
Blue’s on a tear like my inseam and Des just took down King T’Zuchalla in 8 lines or less. Des seems to have a real knack for rebuttals, maybe it’s a nice happy medium for him so he can’t stray too far from the point and yell at us for not understanding things. I’m all for it, personally. Blue, honestly, we know what to expect. He’s going to come top tier and bring the funnies, so it’ll be up to Des to match the effort and take it. You know what, fuck it, all positivity in 2021, I’m rocking with Des here. DES FOR CHAMP 2021.
Prediction – Des has a heart attack after his opener

User V Inf
User is awaiting a shiny new PS5 and constantly updating his UPS delivery app he downloaded directly after the purchase. He signed out of the league to spend time with it but the culture guilted him into throwing his hat in the ring this week... as long as he got to battle Sharp, who signed out to get an early jump on his vegetable garden. Then Sharp found a way out when I decided to let Inf back in dispute his despicable no show last week. We’ll see if User can pry himself away from his shipping updates or PS5 long enough to post a couple bars until Inf no shows again.
Prediction - Sharp’s garden is bountiful come summertime

Dave V Seth
Seth is fucking HOT. Not in an attractive way or anything, like, at all, but he’s still FUMING. He just lost to Fracture. Yep. It happened. He promised to eat a gun if he lost, and it didn’t happen. Unfortunately. Kidding. Dave on the other hand rebounded rather nicely against Coop last week, and showed he can flex with the best of them, even if he’s doing it on UK time while the rest of us are asleep. Dave really needs to make a case for the rebuttal league being culturally/time zonally? biased. Regardless, this should be a fun match between the lovable Brit and the grieving and wounded Seth. I’m torn, but looking forward to it.
Prediction – Dave rhymes something in his accent that Americans can’t pronounce properly

Frac V Hush
Dull seems to be putting Frac through a Revenge Tour of sorts here. If anyone else has beef with Frac, sign in for week 4, you’ll be sure to get a quick matchup. At least it’s keeping things interesting though. Things get stale without beef. You hear that, @Sharp? That said, these are two legends in their own right going at it, so theres not much I can say that hasn’t already been said about them before. Frac, he pioneered half of the creative angles 75% of us tried to write back in the day. Hush, although he hates me, is lowkey a favorite of mine to read. I give him shit from time to time, but he’s genuinely one of the most clever guys out there, and has a harsh way of wording to his lines that cut through the bullshit someone like myself might try to write. He also lets me say the n-word during Nets games in the discord.
Prediction – Battle of the week. Easily, if they both try.

Dull V Bleak
I still have never seen dull actually write. I have however seen bleak write. I’m still siding with dull, I think. No offense, bleak. Prove me wrong, big dog.
Prediction – dull’s only here to make thing’s even and may let bleak win one

Adverse V Swerve
Ad impressed me last week. Sincerely. I walked into that battle thinking shit was sweet and he roundhouse kicked me in the face, lmao. Thank god I’m not a voter on my own battle. Swerve is dope from the little sample size I’ve witnessed, so this should be another interesting matchup. Could possibly be Battle of the Week: Lite.
Prediction – Adverse starts his championship run here

Mac V Coop
Coop almost had Dave last week. Like, honestly, Dave came out slacking at first and Coop threw a cup of lighter fluid on him and set him on fire. Unfortunately he slacked as the battle progressed and nursed Dave back to health and then laid on the ground while Dave pissed on him. Still, it was close for a hot minute there. If he keeps up the pressure throughout an entire battle he’s easily going to rise back up the rankings. I think his drop down is only temporary. Mac, on the other hand, I have no idea what to expect anymore. I need to see better, baby. Give me the fire.
Prediction – Coop pisses on Mac while Finny masturbates to it.

please read the fucking Rules it will help you win the battle

I'm always open to answering questions, but please refer to this first if you're unsure of something.

Excessive chatter used as a lead in to your bars will not be tolerated and
could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking.

1. Opener

Each battle will begin with a coin chosen participant to open the battle. I will @ you when threads are posted each week
informing you that you're on the clock. Your post is the only bar(s) of the battle that don't need to directly or indirectly
reference a previous bar. Some may say it's a disadvantage to open, but the counter to that argument is that it's the only
opportunity to use a generic punch during the battle.

Each post has a 1 bar minimum, 2 bar max. You will have 24 hours from the time the thread is posted to submit your bar(s).
Failing to post within that time limit will result in a DQ and a loss on your record.

2. Rebuttal

Once the opener has been posted you will have 24 hours from the time it was posted to submit your bar(s).
If you fail to respond within that 24 hours it will result in a DQ and a loss on your record. Again, it is a 1 bar minimum and a 2 bar max.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH THE AMOUNT YOUR OPPONENT POSTED. Any line after the opening bar(s) must reference a previously posted bar(s) from the battle, be that directly or indirectly.

There is no restriction to how long you must wait to reply once your opponent has posted.
There is no limit to how many times you and your opponent can exchange bars. Battles will end every Sunday at midnight EST.

If you opened the battle you may not post after 10:59PM EST.
This is to discourage last second posting without giving your opponent
the opporunity to respond and equal the number of posts in a battle.


3. Judging and voting

Threads will be closed Sunday at midnight EST. A panel of 5 anonymous judges will send their votes directly to me and the winners will be announced Wednesday in the mag.

Last edited by dull boy; 02-18-2021 at 05:14 AM.
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Old 02-17-2021, 03:11 PM   #2
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@Barcotic was right the judge panel needs to be reevaluated and audited
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Old 02-17-2021, 04:23 PM   #3
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I thought your collins was to kill

Take this L your meltdown is boring now
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Old 02-17-2021, 04:35 PM   #4
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Watch out I might jump near you

Thank god you’ve assessed every possibility if I do
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Old 02-17-2021, 05:02 PM   #5
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idk either
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Old 02-17-2021, 10:26 PM   #6
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Excited for this week.

Dope mag I like this format of league it runs like clockwork and it’s fun through and through
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Old 02-18-2021, 08:20 AM   #7
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Predictions are up.
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Old 02-18-2021, 08:45 AM   #8
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I’m just saying I’ll blow my brains out if I lose to Frac in general.
RIP.
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Old 02-18-2021, 10:15 PM   #9
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dope magg
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Old 02-18-2021, 10:18 PM   #10
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Mags dope fr
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Old 02-18-2021, 10:33 PM   #11
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Good stuff Dull & User


Also, dunno if they're gunna get reviewed or not.... But Users LGBTQ-7 bar in the roast literally made me fall over
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