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Old 10-10-2017, 07:04 AM   #41
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If you could record an audio breakdown of everyone's verses here like you do at RR, that would be greatly appreciated

videos tend to work better than audio listens here at NC so maybe record a video of you doing it instead
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Old 10-10-2017, 07:57 AM   #42
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I was going to do an audio recording then do images/gifs/clips for the video, with lyrics/screenshots visible in it since I don't think anyone cares to see my face as much as they care for the writing haha and yes I can definitely do that, it will take some time to do though as I want to at least get the groundwork/foundation laid for the channel today primarily.

Not rainbow colored, I think especially for SS presentation is almost not a factor because it is so short but for longer topicals it does make a difference, I'm not saying make every word a different color lol, but there are times where colors can influence the mood of the reader and how they interpret your piece when they read it, you know?

It's like if I wrote a verse, and this first portion was orange
the main body is orange throughout the verse
the verse progresses and imagine I kept this up for 32 lines or w/e
and finally we are about to reach resolution

and the conclusion of the verse is a different color
a color complimentary to the original so that we get a sense of resolution


on a subconscious level the verse already feels more resolved, even without anything else just that something different happened at the end

you can also write a piece where the main body is a color
let's say the color is black just I don't have to change shit
and the dialogue can be a different color
"Who knows what color it will be?"
and each time there is dialogue from a particular character
"You change the text color to match it"
and if there is a different character than that asshole SOB
"Can say stuff in a different color to denote that"
And yeah, basically that's another form where color works
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Old 10-10-2017, 08:03 AM   #43
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Do you not think that's "cheating" somewhat and already giving you a subconscious advantage over your opponent?
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Old 10-10-2017, 08:27 AM   #44
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lmao I'd argue that by colouring it in, you haven't done your job as a writer to a) resolve the story effectively enough on your own or b) done your job as a writer well enough that's it's clear which line of dialogue belongs to which character

it's somewhat of a get out of jail card and should probably be marked down accordingly in people's verses
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Old 10-10-2017, 08:39 AM   #45
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I wouldn't say it's cheating, it is trying to impart the most meaning into your piece as possible using all your resources, that is really difficult to do right and depending on the verse might actually make your verse come off as worse, it's like anything else, it has to be done tastefully, reasonably, and in moderation to get the desired effect and if it's not done well it can hurt your verse. It's always a risk whether you do it or not, as writers were are artists, if you make a poor choice in crafting your piece you will not be received as well.
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Old 10-10-2017, 09:14 AM   #46
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Beside a trickling stream, I walked and wondered,
wandering off, my course with rocks asunder

the rolling rumble of distant thunder,
I twist and stumble as I stop encumbered

a pack on my back carrying food and supplies,
fruits into slices and a sandwich for lunch

each footfall with fervor, each lands with a crunch
a hike through the mountains, such a beautiful sight

the night is surrounding, must make use of the light
my boots are in flight as I leap atop rocks
down to the lakeside, and my seat on the docks...

The sunset brilliant blood orange o'er distant hills
pop the top of my bottle, tipped to the glass until my pilsner spills

froth pouring out, a beer to relax
my pole in the water, filled with cheer as I bask

a clear night, not a cloud around
crickets chirping soft, surrounded with sound

I tilt the rod, lowered down to the ground
and brace for the tug, a fish is bound to come out...

Eyes heavy, my time to relax
Surprised with a bite, barely in time to react

the line almost snaps, but stays steady
slowly pulling the reel, already tasting the
breading
imagining the grill, and the gravy I'll be spreading...


A hard whip, this sucker's tough!
clutching sharp with my grip, my thumb spinning up

finally approaching, incoming my triumph,
I can feel the fish closing, stomach rumbling with violence

with a splash, the fish breaches the surface
and lands at my feet, I see what I'd emerged with...


A boot.

God damnit.



did i do it right?
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Old 10-10-2017, 09:15 AM   #47
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Old 10-10-2017, 09:17 AM   #48
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nailed it
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