CHAMP MATCH: Nigma vs EtH - CHAMPION ETH 4-3

[sral]

AOWL Season V, Week 12


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific/West Coast or Tuesday 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM Wednesday Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here!



Topic: For everything you miss you gain something else. -
Ralph Waldo Emerson
@Nigma @EtH

[EtH]

Don't you mean Ralph Wally Emerson?

Check, hoping we tear this one down Nig.

[Nigma]

Like the Berlin wall, yezzir lets get it

[Nigma]

A Clean Demise.


impaired with terror. please, someone take this terror from me
scared at night cause they'll leave nothing if they tear her from me
i remember...
pleading with the dentist while shes teething cause her gums were sore
her screams were deep infections within me because my love was pure
but then i was awoken, broken,
crumbled, as i was before
hold in the emotion, mainly vicious spite
only cause this broken dream depicts my life
its like i paid to visit by her fictitious shrine just to lift violence
but they raised the ticket prices quick as igniting liquid nitrous
life, as it drifts on by us, i give a glance to the dampened sky
i've got my mind on mortality, black attacks and i clap the fly
after the killing action, i scratch my head. did she have to die?
i framed her life. a plaque is the risen item, her captured sky
there's need for lightened cracks from a child's laughter in afterlives
in the breeze, i capture sights, and i need them. they're a fallen wish
pretend i saw her presence but she leaves. her stay is ominous
dawned my favorite jacket, on the sleeves i'd lay daughters head
hand goes straight into to the pocket that her baby lockets kept
it lets my dreams live on through a stream of consciousness
honestly, i've pondered through the pieces, it's theme is obvious
i see it. all of it.
my one and only procreation fading while asleep, unconscious
see the bottle of aquamarine deposit that's cleaning product
feel in front her face on my knees to see if shes breathing proper
then through the shrieks and sobs come the heaped convulsions
indeed the scene was awful, a beam is shot from her spewing lips
freaking out, not know what was going on as the fluid spits
it seems the hemoglobin gives her bluish puke a purple tinge
seemingly at once, she was peaceful, it leaves this hurt within
now,
staying in a cage, i'm aching, lay in pain and miss her memory
embezzling in rage and she won't fade cause i won't let her leave
i tied a tethered beam that no weather seen could sever cleanly
demise is said to be the ascension screening, some rest, some breathe
some respected seedlings selected. each they're deaths had meaning
the younger death that seen, the less blunders can infect they're genes
on the other side they're enlightened, said to brighten up dimension 3, but
is whats said accredited legend or another ledge in depressions reach?
could my own bred beliefs be the entities keeping my head complete?
why, yes. accepting these beckon blessings and i'm set at ease
and may she rest in peace, it's the benefits of a death that's clean

i've seeked out rays of light since being plagued by depression
guess that every second missing her i've gained some perspective

[EtH]

Cheers mate.




Today it culminates, every fragment joined and we’re weaving the pieces
Nervous; con-cerned I’ve conned CERN into believing my thesis
Have I thought of every necessity? Balanced everything chemically?
In fear of my legacy I start to sift through my memories
Did I finish every equation? Did I carry the ones?
Stop it, there’s not a single problem, just be happy there’s none
I’m just stressed cause the press in newspapers jeered
“It’s a pragmatic theory”, is that faith or fear?
I think of all the time my wife and kids were waiting
While I was anticipating the results of tests and simulations
I neglected them all just to try and be greater
Leaving the most giant of craters while analysing some data
Now every time that I’ve hurt them will be finally worth it
All those nights they left the lights on while I was finding my purpose
Hearts in mouths, now the tension is lethal
The last preparations are down, the last thread in the needle
Years of persistence with this machine as my mistress, just a gentlemen caller
It starts up, we’re taken back by the hurdling screech as it bellows and hollers
This is the greatest day of my life, I know it without a doubt
The machine sputters and spatters, before it finally powers down
What wait, sparks fire out as the machine is combustion
Looking for a screen as I’m rushing, oh no, I forgot the recent adjustments
Years of work, gone, there's no massive success or passing of tests
Seriously, I think this is just about as bad as it gets.

Today it culminates, every fragment joined and we’re weaving the pieces
Nervous; con-cerned I’ve conned CERN into believing my thesis
Have I thought of every necessity? Balanced everything chemically?
As I’m sitting in ecstasy, it hits me; did I rejig the telemetry?
My desk awash with papers, I browse through the sheets
Exposing a heavily hidden and drowned computer screen
Fluently, my fingers trace the tops of the keys that I’m facing
Shit, through my steely fixation I missed the recalibrations
I can see it now; “boffin makes embarrassing blooper”
Amending the numbers, I ease from the maddening stupor
We’re ready, final thoughts are scribbled on the pads of the writers
While their eyes stay tuned to the Hadron collider
Hearts in mouths, now the tension is lethal
The last preparations are down, the last thread in the needle
Years of persistence with this machine as my mistress, just a gentlemen caller
It starts up, we’re taken back by the hurdling screech as it bellows and hollers
Rip-roaring lasers fire out, our legs are like rubber
Particles rocket out to smack against one another
Amazed, we watch the prismatic reflection of colours
Until our wonder is covered by a beckoning buzzer
Alarms ring, the air adopts a gravitational current
“It’s a black hole!”, my eyes ashamed to concur it
If only I’d left it, we’re here because my math was correct
And now I think this is just about as bad as it gets.

[Mr. J]

in the breeze, i capture sights, and i need them. they're a fallen wish
pretend i saw her presence but she leaves. her stay is ominous
dawned my favorite jacket, on the sleeves i'd lay daughters head
hand goes straight into to the pocket that her baby lockets kept
it lets my dreams live on through a stream of consciousness
honestly, i've pondered through the pieces, it's theme is obvious
i see it. all of it.
^^^^^
I really enjoyed this section right here, dope work all around brah
You have a grasp on a majority of mechanics that make you fun to read
I always dig the way you set up each line & work with it throughout
the most impressive part was the way you started this whole piece
theres a lot I could say about it but thats for others to see for themselves
regardless I feel you grasped onto your topic and made it work with your style
otherwise this was some nice work...

EtH I stopped reading after those first few lines to say this
I didnt really like how you built up that second line, it felt kind of off to me
although I am impressed by the way you picked up after that slip up
some rhymes do feel forced though, take for instance greater/data
maybe through an accent that slant may work, but i feel thrown off by it
keys that Im facing/re-calibrations seemed like a smooth transition
although I did enjoy how you brought the beginning full circle taking a note from my book eh...
yea this is pretty cool altogether a few minor slip ups but nothing too hefty

v/I was honestly expecting more from EtH after seeing the extent he went with that Frank battle
its no doubt he knows what hes doing and he also has a firm grasp of the technical aspect
but I fear its not enough to knock Nigma out of the top spot, Nigma has some dope mechanics
his verse fit with the topic perfectly while at first I was scratching my head to EtHs verse
had EtH brought the more aggressive approach as he did last week he may have took this
regardless Im going to have to give this to Nigma



v/Nigma

[Adonis]

Quick vote: In depth will be in mag


Really good battle. You each have A+ mechanics and both of you set out to do what you wanted, I mean executed on high levels. There were particular areas of each verse that I did not like. But what I did like was the ballsy approach by the champ, and the overall content by the contender. This is a tough vote and a toss up, but in the end I can only vote for which I connected with more. So with that said, when someone writes about the hadron colider, lets just say I read about this shit in my free time, so yeah, it clicked for me.

v/EtH

[Adonis]

Please vote on this battle, no threads will be open until there is a decisive winner

@MMLP @sraL @YDK @Godcomplex @timeless @Vividlyvague @Dearg @Witty @asylum @Ullr @NYCSPITZ @2tripple0 @Innovator @Frank @Flo Real @Soulstice @Spoken @Half Wit It @Dancake @Exis @Vulgar @The Law @Nameflip

There is another battle that will remain open until this one is closed. While I would love to follow the win by two rule, it may not apply this week in either due to the circumstance

[Dearg]

Nigma. Wording was a bit awkward at times and they rhyme scheme wasn't as creative as I'd like it to be (when I'm telling an in depth story, I have the same issue). The story itself was really good. I feel like the wording made some things a bit hard to understand at times but for the most part you nailed it.

Eth, at first I thought your wording had the same issues as Nigma. Then I re-read it and caught on better. (Nigma, I read your piece twice too). This story was interesting to say the least. It got me thinking a couple times. Overall I nice piece with not a lot of complaints.

Close battle but I think Eth edged it with a cleaner, more creative read.

[Inno]

Bro im fucking too drunk to vote stop atting me lol

[UnbornBuddha]

Lol, at Adonis telling me I didn't have to vote and keeps @ me.
Anyways, I don't really like voting for matches in which I get to face one of the competitors in the next round, but will do so, seeing the sad states of affairs, in terms of voting.

Nigma tale rooted itself and depended a lot on the reader becoming empathetic, mostly because his verse has this sense of desperation. Which, he seemed to be aiming for, so as to convey the depths of this character's misery. And I thought the beginning did this very well and I became engrossed, but then I think the story grew somewhat stale with no developments in terms of plot and philosophical inquiry. Albeit, there was new wonderings the characters pondered, it was all too up in the air, and didn't have the necessary attributes to ground it with something tangible, plus some of the wording was kind of hard to follow for me this time. I really really liked the hemoglobin line though.

ETH: I enjoyed this, did think some of the first stanza was rushed, especially the last segment, in terms of plot, it doesn't seem you rushed writing it, but in terms of how you transition from it being the greatest day of the narrator and then the transition to the machine combusting was done awkwardly. I liked the chorus repetition you had going on though, and I thought this was a smoother read than Nigma's, this time around. The best part was the last part of the second stanza, exceptionally well done. Iy got me wondering what it must feel to be sucked into a black hole, particularly one you created or brought here, it must feel ecstatic, don't you think? Anyways, I think you bested Nigma here with a more gripping tale, and although his was more humanistic, I think your work encompassed a greater scope.

Thank you both.

Vote: ET (the extraterrestrial)

[2tripple0]

this was a close battle I thought could have gone either way... I liked the mechanics in both pieces but I think nigma edged you in that department.....however I enjoyed the story aspect of your piece a lot of nigmas felt jumbled together just for thought but im not really bothered by it it just seemed packed with too many concepts at times.....but I think this was just to enhance his verse er whatever so basically that was his verse that he had against this verse by eth which had a decent concept of a verse but was just missing a couple of grammatical and wording issues that I think if he tinker tottered with he would have won this battle......but in any guess I's gots to give this battle to nigma.....good job by both writers though for doing their thing.......

vote: nigma

[Frank]

@Nameflip @Innovator @The Law @Exis @Half Wit It @Soulstice @Dancake

League is awaiting votes from all of this weeks new arrivals

[Systemic Infection]

This was one of the best matchups I've seen in a while. EtH's verse was a written on a creative edge and I enjoyed Nigma's technicality a lot more. It's hard to describe but there's some lacking aspects of EtH's verse such as the rhythm and scheme patterns and rhyming that are a bit lower than Nigma's by a little margin. Both stories were told well, I thought. And both stories had nice elements but Nigma's metaphors were more memorable, as well. Overall I thought Nigma's writing ability surpassed his opponent's.

Vote - Nigma

[Adonis]

Deciding vote is incoming via spoken. We are moving on

[Adonis]

@Spoken

Where you at?

[Adonis]

@Innovator @dead man

help a brother out

[Inno]

I got eth.

I feel like his over consistency was on point. His imagery and wording
Was something that caught my eye. It was slick and gor me it read
A little awkward but i liked it. I really liked it. Nigma you kept up with oit
A doubt. Great storyteling your progression was smooth and smomething
That really shined for me. Tbh i dont see nothing wrong with either verse
But i feel like ETH gave me something i connected with just a bit more.
Dope ficking champ tbh and thanks for the read

ETH