06-20-2019, 10:04 PM | #1 |
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Allen Knight vs Veritas[OPEN]
Summer Classic VII Rules
@Allen Knight vs @veritas Last edited by Inno; 06-30-2019 at 12:52 PM. |
06-21-2019, 11:14 AM | #2 |
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06-23-2019, 03:17 PM | #3 | |
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06-25-2019, 09:43 PM | #4 | |
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Let's go fifty lines, cool?
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06-28-2019, 02:43 PM | #5 | |
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I’m deceased at the moment and momentarily for you thinking you were going to bury
Because these choppers rip you like two honey badgers just let out that Pet Cemetery Haymakers on deck like Little Mac and pushing select on the controller, I drop Tyson So what I do to a chump who is gassed-up and dick rode like the group Allen Knights in? Hand to hand: I Muay Thai clench your neck then fracture your cervical and thoracic ladder Mind to mind: I bend space and time and leave your brain warped until it’s no longer classed as matter Atom smasher or trash compactor its all the same with the likes of you You wouldn’t be sick swimming in pig shit while smoking on swine flu I transcend whatever you pen, I battle the very concept of battling, Allen. I bring this art to the next level, you only contribute to its shallowing, Allen
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06-28-2019, 11:15 PM | #6 |
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faggot ur crib'll get lit...
w/ hollows from mercenaries, they'll scoop the evidence from a hit strong uzi's droppin shells, got the crew pickin up cases like everyone 69 snitched on pussy u ain't makin it past rd1 w/ ya bars bitch, u'll get scared quick ur spot in the tourney sucha End Game, it'll look like Tony Starks script get my gonnies to kidnap ya, this bastard is a punk u aint no Keebler Elf but i'll put this faggot ass cracker ina trunk one verse u ok next ur trash, man this fucks a clown we all kno Variable shittin w/ the bars his shit is always goin up & down gotta hattori hanzo sharpened, 2 strikes wreckin ya ways he'll be a faggot dressed for a funeral after i slash V-neck w/ the blade
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06-29-2019, 12:31 AM | #7 |
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Veritas -
Compact drop; fully equipped with nice punchlines; and good rhyming. You have a lot of comedy lines; and they work. I quite enjoyed this written verse for it's quality and merit. It was a enjoyable read. Good work on this verse. A lot of good lines here. Allen Knight - Good verse; you're a good punchline writer; and you have a lot of good writing merit. I enjoy your punchline rhyming; and good form in a lot of your rhyming. You're good in ways. Nice work. Overall - Good battle here; I have Veritas winning for his quality verse. Nice one. V/ Veritas |
06-29-2019, 12:37 AM | #8 |
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Mind to mind: I bend space and time and leave your brain warped until it’s no longer classed as matter
Atom smasher or trash compactor its all the same with the likes of you You wouldn’t be sick swimming in pig shit while smoking on swine flu I transcend whatever you pen, I battle the very concept of battling, Allen. I bring this art to the next level, you only contribute to its shallowing, Allen vs w/ hollows from mercenaries, they'll scoop the evidence from a hit strong uzi's droppin shells, got the crew pickin up cases like everyone 69 snitched on one verse u ok next ur trash, man this fucks a clown we all kno Variable shittin w/ the bars his shit is always goin up & down gotta hattori hanzo sharpened, 2 strikes wreckin ya ways he'll be a faggot dressed for a funeral after i slash V-neck w/ the blade nice battle here. Very close. closer than I thought tbh.. going with verita, based on suprised factor. Allen Knight will always be good with the punches but I think V's concepts edged it here. vote - V |
06-29-2019, 01:48 AM | #9 |
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Veritas - the bury line worked for the set up, but it was worded a little odd to me. But a little inner momentarily/going to bury was good. I feel like it should've worked into with pet cemetary the same but it was a good punch still. RIP you like zombie honey badgers was pretty good concept work. Overall a good opening bar.
Ok super punch out I haven't played since a kid, so I'm not very familiar with what select does, but I'll assume it opens a character menu for tyson. More like a swag punch I guess and select/deck makes pretty solid. I dont know about Allen knights group. I read it with an inner of do/group around inner of chump/gassed up.so it I could drop tyson imagine what I could do to you. A muay thai clinch is your hand in hand around the neck. Pretty cool. Ufc bars, I like it. Jon Jones gonna win tomorrow. Then you went mind to mind. I liked the breakdown concept with mind/body. Then to break down the mind to not be matter or space in time. It's not typical punch set up thing but I'm not a typical battle voter I know my shit and that was a nice bar. It flowed good and dint need inners or wordplays and still was dope which makes it doper to me. Next, your inner lead is good, so hes microscopic to you, and garbage, and you'll crush him. Cool. The you ain't sick follow up was pretty good. If you would've said alias swine it could've been a 3 little pigs and you could've been the big bad wolf. I'm gonna be honest, I didn't really enjoy the last bar a whole lot. It's ok but the shallowing/level and battling battle to transcend was a good concept and it was tied together but that's about it. Kind of sensei vibe and I like the idea of it otherwise. Overall solid. Chamber - so opening bar was pretty good. The picking up cases was good shells/charges. 69 use was cool. Overall the opening line could've been a little better set up, but maybe I'm missing something because I'm not very familiar with the specifics of his crew or the whole story. Decent punch though. You know what rhymes with spoiler alert? This boy is a jerk. Anyway I liked the way you had a flow to toy with the words. Scared should be scarred, btw. Some people would act like you're dumb cuz they're dumb or just act like your dumb cuz they feel like it. But hey I get it. Anyway the a avenger reference wasn't bad but overall these two lines were great flow with decent punch but could've been a little more I think. I assume its goonies, tied with kid bastard and punk. Decent concept set up I'd say. But that keebler elf cracker line idk. Cracker in a trunk decent multi but the punch pretty weak So the variable I'm just gonna assume is veri' bullshitting which would make a good name flip imo. Variables vary go up and down. And the set up alluded to that very concept so far I'd say the most solid bar this drop. The last bar didn't have a whole lot for me. Vneck was ok. Overall decent. Vote - veritas
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06-29-2019, 09:17 AM | #10 |
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I’m deceased at the moment and momentarily for you thinking you were going to bury
Because these choppers rip you like two honey badgers just let out that Pet Cemetery would like to see the incorporation of multis somewhere. the bar has an aggressive feel to it, but it's more of a metaphor to be taken at face value, would prefer to see some kind of double entendre Haymakers on deck like Little Mac and pushing select on the controller, I drop Tyson So what I do to a chump who is gassed-up and dick rode like the group Allen Knights in? technically a multi, but could be expanded more. You're kind asking what you're supposed to do, which doesn't feel like it's as aggressive as just telling us what you're going to do. Also would like a double entendre Hand to hand: I Muay Thai clench your neck then fracture your cervical and thoracic ladder Mind to mind: I bend space and time and leave your brain warped until it’s no longer classed as matter this bar just feels too abstract and weird to me. You could probably do something more with it, such as the double meaning in "matter" which isn't super original or fresh, but at least it'd be something Atom smasher or trash compactor its all the same with the likes of you You wouldn’t be sick swimming in pig shit while smoking on swine flu this bar is a little gross to me, but out of all of your bars I think it's the one that best reflects the direction I'd like to see you move in. There's a double interpretation and the usual "set-up" followed by a "punchline" format. Only really issue with it is the "sick" wordplay was incredibly outdated by like 2003. Still, this is your best bar and you should build off this approach imo I transcend whatever you pen, I battle the very concept of battling, Allen. I bring this art to the next level, you only contribute to its shallowing, Allen the "battle the very concept of battling" made me lol a bit, especially given your therapist gimmick. I'm okay with having humorous set-up lines, so I could probably get down with that. The closing punch just needed more. faggot ur crib'll get lit... w/ hollows from mercenaries, they'll scoop the evidence from a hit strong uzi's droppin shells, got the crew pickin up cases like everyone 69 snitched on cool opener, i like the reference. Just the image of people walking around and picking up cases after shooting seems a bit farfetched to me pussy u ain't makin it past rd1 w/ ya bars bitch, u'll get scared quick ur spot in the tourney sucha End Game, it'll look like Tony Starks script a bit simple and I havent been watching as many live battles as I used to but i feel like avenger/comic book bars have to be kinda played out get my gonnies to kidnap ya, this bastard is a punk u aint no Keebler Elf but i'll put this faggot ass cracker ina trunk I liked this more than most people probably did. I thought it was creative one verse u ok next ur trash, man this fucks a clown we all kno Variable shittin w/ the bars his shit is always goin up & down saying shit twice is a bit redundant. the wp had potential but i wasnt really feeling the execution gotta hattori hanzo sharpened, 2 strikes wreckin ya ways he'll be a faggot dressed for a funeral after i slash V-neck w/ the blade ok closer I've seen AK drop better, but it was still a solid showing. I don't think this match was remotely close enough to be debatable, though. He was the only one who really demonstrated having a grasp on executing punchlines, executing multis, his flow was a bit smoother, and his wording was more efficient. Overall, he takes all cats hands down v/ Chamber Last edited by Answer; 06-30-2019 at 01:18 PM. |
06-29-2019, 09:33 AM | #11 |
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Veritas:
I’m deceased at the moment and momentarily for you thinking you were going to bury Because these choppers rip you like two honey badgers just let out that Pet Cemetery ok Haymakers on deck like Little Mac and pushing select on the controller, I drop Tyson So what I do to a chump who is gassed-up and dick rode like the group Allen Knights in? nah Hand to hand: I Muay Thai clench your neck then fracture your cervical and thoracic ladder Mind to mind: I bend space and time and leave your brain warped until it’s no longer classed as matter nice Atom smasher or trash compactor its all the same with the likes of you You wouldn’t be sick swimming in pig shit while smoking on swine flu you can smoke swine flu? I transcend whatever you pen, I battle the very concept of battling, Allen. I bring this art to the next level, you only contribute to its shallowing, Allen ok Allen: faggot ur crib'll get lit... w/ hollows from mercenaries, they'll scoop the evidence from a hit strong uzi's droppin shells, got the crew pickin up cases like everyone 69 snitched on lol nice pussy u ain't makin it past rd1 w/ ya bars bitch, u'll get scared quick ur spot in the tourney sucha End Game, it'll look like Tony Starks script predictable get my gonnies to kidnap ya, this bastard is a punk u aint no Keebler Elf but i'll put this faggot ass cracker ina trunk ok one verse u ok next ur trash, man this fucks a clown we all kno Variable shittin w/ the bars his shit is always goin up & down no gotta hattori hanzo sharpened, 2 strikes wreckin ya ways he'll be a faggot dressed for a funeral after i slash V-neck w/ the blade coolish 69 was LOTB and I think the only one I really liked from either. MVGT: Allen
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06-30-2019, 10:28 AM | #12 | ||
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06-30-2019, 01:25 PM | #13 |
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I’m deceased at the moment and momentarily for you thinking you were going to bury
Because these choppers rip you like two honey badgers just let out that Pet Cemetery honestly, V's one of like 3 people who could pull this off to me. It's funny enough, but having heard his voice, it fits Haymakers on deck like Little Mac and pushing select on the controller, I drop Tyson So what I do to a chump who is gassed-up and dick rode like the group Allen Knights in? Hand to hand: I Muay Thai clench your neck then fracture your cervical and thoracic ladder Mind to mind: I bend space and time and leave your brain warped until it’s no longer classed as matter I'm thinking these 4 all work together because the first two read like they're leading into something. If I'm wrong, those first two are a little lacking in harshness. If I'm right, I like the hand to hand/mind to mind concept in execution. The gamble with something like this though is its flashy, but it's less space for the punchlines that are made more effective by this Atom smasher or trash compactor its all the same with the likes of you You wouldn’t be sick swimming in pig shit while smoking on swine flu this is just too corny to me. I know v can pull off humor but I've seen enough 'sick' concepts in songs, battles, whatever, that really minimize the humor to me I transcend whatever you pen, I battle the very concept of battling, Allen. I bring this art to the next level, you only contribute to its shallowing, Allen I understand how this bar is half bar for Allen with a nice concept and half trap for voters - if you don't like it, you're probably also contributing to its shallowing - and don't know if it comes off hugely for me because there's some mechanical issues. 'battling, Allen' /'shallowing, Allen' only really rhymes in the sense that it's the exact syllables. I think if word before Allen fully rhymes, this bar has a lot more impact I wanna see more from veritas in general. Fact is, he avoids copying the guys who do it well, but there's a reason peopleime Allen get copied so much in the first place Faggot ur crib'll get lit... w/ hollows from mercenaries, they'll scoop the evidence from a hit strong uzi's droppin shells, got the crew pickin up cases like everyone 69 snitched on solid pussy u ain't makin it past rd1 w/ ya bars bitch, u'll get scared quick ur spot in the tourney sucha End Game, it'll look like Tony Starks script 'spot in the tourney sucha End Game' is mad awkward to me so it's too obvious where ths bar is going for it to really land get my gonnies to kidnap ya, this bastard is a punk u aint no Keebler Elf but i'll put this faggot ass cracker ina trunk light, but still funny one verse u ok next ur trash, man this fucks a clown we all kno Variable shittin w/ the bars his shit is always goin up & down little too awkward to really hit for me gotta hattori hanzo sharpened, 2 strikes wreckin ya ways he'll be a faggot dressed for a funeral after i slash V-neck w/ the blade this is okay This was actually a fun read. Good to see an Allen Knight verse again, and I think Veritas really took on his opponent his own way. I'm a fan of meta and very real punches, but his verse did get weighed down by some corny parts and clunky wording at times. Allen didn't really go too hard here, his opener being his best line followed by some inconsistent punches. He didn't really capitalize on the 4 vs 5 punches here but because some of those were too weak, but V's best part to me was line 3-6, which was great conceptually, had all the makings of giving his verse an arc, but was followed up by a 'sick' flip that really put the brakes on that momentum for me. Enjoyed the read guys V/Allen |
06-30-2019, 08:33 PM | #14 |
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Vote AK
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07-01-2019, 10:26 AM | #15 | ||
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v allen but it would be rejuvenating for this hobby to read more verse where people actually had their own style like V had here.... people more concerned with conforming to the norm to garner votes than to write with their own style has this hobby in critical condition. reading and voting on battles would be a lot more fun and rewarding if we weren't reading one style over and over and over............... |
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07-01-2019, 12:17 PM | #16 |
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I dig Vs opener. Liked the descriptions & ideas though they weren’t very harsh. AKs opener
was pretty tight ass well. Probably my fav bar of the battle between the two. I’ll have to go bar vs bar on this one & I’m leaning alil more towards Allen. Resonated more, hit harder. V/AK |
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